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1000x like...but no one should study anything on ARF. Kind of like searching and studying for the answer of what's the meaning of life? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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It's very possible the reason she is being jealous...is because she has a guilty conscious. I would not be surprised if she has fucked someone else, and thinks that since she did....you would. And there we are. After a while here you'll be educated that all men are paragons of virtue and all women are lying whores. It's kind of amazing to see the mental gymnastics they go to in order to always blame the woman. Someone should study it. 1000x like...but no one should study anything on ARF. Kind of like searching and studying for the answer of what's the meaning of life? Hey, if they can gain useful information from studying the mating habits of honeybees, I'm sure something profound would be unearthed here. |
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Much better to find out how she reacts to things before you get married. Any marriage that is expected to last will require both people to learn to forgive the other. If she is incapable of that, best to learn it before you get married.
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View Quote Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all. |
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Sounds like you're in the wrong to me. Strippers that you touched private parts of and you lied by omission which she found out by someone else. Sounds like she has good reason to question your character and the future of the relationship. View Quote Yep. Instead of honesty you chose deceit. Now go apologize and tell her you were an idiot for lying |
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Much better to find out how she reacts to things before you get married. Any marriage that is expected to last will require both people to learn to forgive the other. If she is incapable of that, best to learn it before you get married. View Quote My marriage is incredible and is less based on forgiving each other than it is based on trust, respect, honor and not doing things that may call into question our fidelity to one another. YMMV. |
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Your Fiancé is overreacting. With the intense stress and emotions of an impending wedding this is forgivable. But you should not grovel over this, nor allow yourself to be expected to.
frankly, I'm far more trouble by the behavior at ladies bachelorette parties and the degree of touching / sexual contact with the male strippers, than what typically occurs at a guys bachelor party. |
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Threads like these remind me of why many ARFCOMers can't maintain a stable relationship with a woman.
"I just grabbed some stripper's tits before my wedding day and lied about it to my fiancee. Why the hell is she so mad?" |
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If a woman is having second thoughts about marrying you because you had strippers at a bachelor party then you should have second thoughts about marrying her for being so damn uptight.
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After a while here you'll be educated that all men are paragons of virtue and all women are lying whores. It's kind of amazing to see the mental gymnastics they go to in order to always blame the woman. Someone should study it. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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It's very possible the reason she is being jealous...is because she has a guilty conscious. I would not be surprised if she has fucked someone else, and thinks that since she did....you would. And there we are. After a while here you'll be educated that all men are paragons of virtue and all women are lying whores. It's kind of amazing to see the mental gymnastics they go to in order to always blame the woman. Someone should study it. Reaching 101 |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: New wife? Nah. New friend? You betcha. Were the friends instructed to lie, keep it all secret, so she wouldn't find out or was that just assumed? Maybe he thought they actually had a honest relationship if they were going to get married. I mean, if you're going to marry someone why the fuck are you trying to keep secrets and lie to them? Lets blame the honest guy. The part where his friend lied is kind of important to the story. Yes, we are all positive except you. Are we sure he lied? The OP has already admitted to having a problem with the truth. |
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My ex husband did the whole stripper thing the night before we married.
In retrospect, I wish she HAD fucked him. Maybe then he would have married her instead of me, and God knows he cost me too much in the divorce! |
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Quoted: Quoted: Threads like these remind me of why many ARFCOMers can't maintain a stable relationship with a woman. "I just grabbed some stripper's tits before my wedding day and lied about it to my fiancee. Why the hell is she so mad?" I'm so glad a few of you get it. After nearly 27 years with the same woman, I have finally figured them out.... |
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I advise you to step back and let your fiance make a decision as to what it is she wants. If strippers are a deal breaker than better know that now than after you say I do. At this point you can't take away your past behavior, all you can do is be honest, supportive and respectful. Her desires and wishes are hers and if you are at the point where you are making her defend them than I highly recommend holding off on marriage.
As for me, when I got engaged the idea of strippers came up and I told my then fiance that I thought strippers were degrading. I worked once in a strip joint and found the behavior of men who went there humiliating and disgusting and I did not want to associate with these type of men. My fiance went anyway and lied to me about it. Against my better judgement I married him anyway. 11 years later we divorced. |
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I dont know if it has been suggested yet, but I would kick the shit out of your buddy for not being able to keep his god damn mouth shut.
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Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all. lol But, in your mind, suggesting the other man in this story is a moran who thinks he is getting in good favor with a gal he desires is somehow putting all the blame on women and suggesting that "all men are paragons of virtue." Can you try to be consistent in your outrage? |
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I told her we got shitty drunk, went to the strip club, my boys bought me a few dances. He told her I was gone 45minutes with one girl (I wasn't,) , that he was solicited for sex (again, I wasn't) , and he added the detail that my other buddy got a stripper for the hotel room (which I omitted because she was a bitch, danced for 5 minute was hardly there, took everyone's $, and left pissed). I'm guilty of not telling exactly how many dances and about the omitting the stripper at the hotel because she wasn't even worth mentioning. Frankly, I think this is a case of she wanted to be pissed off when I told her, but because of the honesty she couldn't be angry. She was able to throw gasoline on the fire when a few additional details came out. And as for the ass grab, who goes to a shoe show and doesn't slap a dollar or two on a girl's ass? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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So, are strippers really something I should be feeling bad about or worried about the fate of the big day? Did you make-out with, have sex with, or receive a blow job from said strippers? If not then HELL NO. Your fiance is over reacting big time. My wife wouldn't care if I went to a strip club on a Wednesday night to celebrate absolutely nothing. She's questioning marrying you because you went to a strip club for your bachelor party? No, she's questioning marrying him because the details coming from another guy who was there are different than what OP told her. Even if it was 100% innocent (which I believe it was) she's a little rocked right now because it looks as though he's hiding something. Got it. OP, what did you tell your fiance about the night? And what did she hear from your friend? I told her we got shitty drunk, went to the strip club, my boys bought me a few dances. He told her I was gone 45minutes with one girl (I wasn't,) , that he was solicited for sex (again, I wasn't) , and he added the detail that my other buddy got a stripper for the hotel room (which I omitted because she was a bitch, danced for 5 minute was hardly there, took everyone's $, and left pissed). I'm guilty of not telling exactly how many dances and about the omitting the stripper at the hotel because she wasn't even worth mentioning. Frankly, I think this is a case of she wanted to be pissed off when I told her, but because of the honesty she couldn't be angry. She was able to throw gasoline on the fire when a few additional details came out. And as for the ass grab, who goes to a shoe show and doesn't slap a dollar or two on a girl's ass? She's going to eject unless you come up with some miracle save. Her confusion is not so much what she's going to do, but with whether or not she believes that you are actually mature enough to get married to. |
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lol But, in your mind, suggesting the other man in this story is a moran who thinks he is getting in good favor with a gal he desires is somehow putting all the blame on women and suggesting that "all men are paragons of virtue." Can you try to be consistent in your outrage? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all. lol But, in your mind, suggesting the other man in this story is a moran who thinks he is getting in good favor with a gal he desires is somehow putting all the blame on women and suggesting that "all men are paragons of virtue." Can you try to be consistent in your outrage? You're mixing up the quotes. Scroll back up and re-read the post I quoted when I typed that. There's no outrage here. Just mild bemusement at the inevitability of the posts I know I'll see in this thread. |
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Quoted: I'm not desperate. I'd like to be with her. If she's not interested in being with me I'd prefer she tell me now so we can avoid the hell and move on with our lives. I understand things come up that maybe others aren't ok with, if I'm not who she thought and not Mr. Perfect than by all means, let me find someone that will appreciate me as I am. AKA "Stripper Lover" View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: If she is in a position to threaten calling off the wedding, and you are desperate to please her to keep the wedding going, something weird is already going on with this dynamic. I'm not desperate. I'd like to be with her. If she's not interested in being with me I'd prefer she tell me now so we can avoid the hell and move on with our lives. I understand things come up that maybe others aren't ok with, if I'm not who she thought and not Mr. Perfect than by all means, let me find someone that will appreciate me as I am. AKA "Stripper Lover" |
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There's about a 99% chance she is calling up a replacement pitcher in the bullpen.
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It's amazing how quick some are to jump to blaming the women for being jealous and insecure without ever looking at the behavior that made them that way. But a guy posts that his wife came home half an hour late for work and was acting funny and there's 8 pages of *eject* and advice to put a keylogger on the computer, a GPS device on the car and a preemptive visit to a lawyer. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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You are being given a gift. One that many of us get but rarely accept. The gift of fore sight. She is showing you your future with her.... Jealous and untrusting. It will only get worse. I think she was given the gift of foresight. It's amazing how quick some are to jump to blaming the women for being jealous and insecure without ever looking at the behavior that made them that way. But a guy posts that his wife came home half an hour late for work and was acting funny and there's 8 pages of *eject* and advice to put a keylogger on the computer, a GPS device on the car and a preemptive visit to a lawyer. [GD]Well, yeah, but that's different. [/GD] |
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[GD]Well, yeah, but that's different. [/GD] View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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You are being given a gift. One that many of us get but rarely accept. The gift of fore sight. She is showing you your future with her.... Jealous and untrusting. It will only get worse. I think she was given the gift of foresight. It's amazing how quick some are to jump to blaming the women for being jealous and insecure without ever looking at the behavior that made them that way. But a guy posts that his wife came home half an hour late for work and was acting funny and there's 8 pages of *eject* and advice to put a keylogger on the computer, a GPS device on the car and a preemptive visit to a lawyer. [GD]Well, yeah, but that's different. [/GD] Indeed. |
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You're mixing up the quotes. Scroll back up and re-read the post I quoted when I typed that. There's no outrage here. Just mild bemusement at the inevitability of the posts I know I'll see in this thread. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all. lol But, in your mind, suggesting the other man in this story is a moran who thinks he is getting in good favor with a gal he desires is somehow putting all the blame on women and suggesting that "all men are paragons of virtue." Can you try to be consistent in your outrage? You're mixing up the quotes. Scroll back up and re-read the post I quoted when I typed that. There's no outrage here. Just mild bemusement at the inevitability of the posts I know I'll see in this thread. Of course I'm mixing them up - that was to show how you contradicted yourself when the context changed. They were both assertions you made about how us guys are, but that can't exist in the same universe. |
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Your Fiancé is overreacting. With the intense stress and emotions of an impending wedding this is forgivable. But you should not grovel over this, nor allow yourself to be expected to. frankly, I'm far more trouble by the behavior at ladies bachelorette parties and the degree of touching / sexual contact with the male strippers, than what typically occurs at a guys bachelor party. View Quote You haven't been to the right parties. |
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Of course I'm mixing them up - that was to show how you contradicted yourself when the context changed. They were both assertions you made about how us guys are, but that can't exist in the same universe. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all. lol But, in your mind, suggesting the other man in this story is a moran who thinks he is getting in good favor with a gal he desires is somehow putting all the blame on women and suggesting that "all men are paragons of virtue." Can you try to be consistent in your outrage? You're mixing up the quotes. Scroll back up and re-read the post I quoted when I typed that. There's no outrage here. Just mild bemusement at the inevitability of the posts I know I'll see in this thread. Of course I'm mixing them up - that was to show how you contradicted yourself when the context changed. They were both assertions you made about how us guys are, but that can't exist in the same universe. There is no contradiction. I made one assertion. Please show me where I said anything at all about the *other guy* theory that was proffered. Like I said to Ridgerunner, I was addressing that comment to/about some of the men here *in particular* who would be in another thread with a reversed situation (bride-to-be had stippers, wasn't fully truthful and the OP was questioning the situation) and there is no way they'd be telling him he was being jealous and insecure. SOME of the posters would, sure, but not these men *in particular*. They would be 110% confident that she'd had a train run on her and OP better not trust a word coming out of her mouth. |
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Oh, bullshit. There have been enough stories here about posters' own bachelor party (or ones they've been at) shenanigans to know that's not true. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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What the fuck? Fuck no a stripper is not a wedding-ending offense. Besides, strippers on the level (does such a thing truly exist?) don't do shit to you, at least not the kind of shit that male strippers get away with at bachelorette parties. Oh, bullshit. There have been enough stories here about posters' own bachelor party (or ones they've been at) shenanigans to know that's not true. Exceptions, rather than the rule. Re: male strippers, it's generally accepted that touching is A-OK and BJs out in the open is pretty much par for the course. |
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Quoted: I'm thinking tar and feather at the wedding. A good old fashioned public humiliation for disgracing this once proud brotherhood. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: I dont know if it has been suggested yet, but I would kick the shit out of your buddy for not being able to keep his god damn mouth shut. I'm thinking tar and feather at the wedding. A good old fashioned public humiliation for disgracing this once proud brotherhood. |
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Exceptions, rather than the rule. Re: male strippers, it's generally accepted that touching is A-OK and BJs out in the open is pretty much par for the course. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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What the fuck? Fuck no a stripper is not a wedding-ending offense. Besides, strippers on the level (does such a thing truly exist?) don't do shit to you, at least not the kind of shit that male strippers get away with at bachelorette parties. Oh, bullshit. There have been enough stories here about posters' own bachelor party (or ones they've been at) shenanigans to know that's not true. Exceptions, rather than the rule. Re: male strippers, it's generally accepted that touching is A-OK and BJs out in the open is pretty much par for the course. At a club. You're right. At a party, ime, you're mistaken. Out of the four parties I can remember, with a total of 16 strippers, I only remember 3 or 4 who were off limits and professional like what you get at the clubs. |
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There is no contradiction. I made one assertion. Please show me where I said anything at all about the *other guy* theory that was proffered. Like I said to Ridgerunner, I was addressing that comment to/about some of the men here *in particular* who would be in another thread with a reversed situation (bride-to-be had stippers, wasn't fully truthful and the OP was questioning the situation) and there is no way they'd be telling him he was being jealous and insecure. SOME of the posters would, sure, but not these men *in particular*. They would be 110% confident that she'd had a train run on her and OP better not trust a word coming out of her mouth. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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You're mixing up the quotes. Scroll back up and re-read the post I quoted when I typed that. There's no outrage here. Just mild bemusement at the inevitability of the posts I know I'll see in this thread. Of course I'm mixing them up - that was to show how you contradicted yourself when the context changed. They were both assertions you made about how us guys are, but that can't exist in the same universe. There is no contradiction. I made one assertion. Please show me where I said anything at all about the *other guy* theory that was proffered. Like I said to Ridgerunner, I was addressing that comment to/about some of the men here *in particular* who would be in another thread with a reversed situation (bride-to-be had stippers, wasn't fully truthful and the OP was questioning the situation) and there is no way they'd be telling him he was being jealous and insecure. SOME of the posters would, sure, but not these men *in particular*. They would be 110% confident that she'd had a train run on her and OP better not trust a word coming out of her mouth. "It's kind of amazing to see the mental gymnastics they go to in order to always blame the woman. Someone should study it." "Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all." In the former, you were saying we always blame the woman. In the latter, a guy who echoes my sentiment that there is another man in the story with suspect motives, gets attacked with your sarcasm. |
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If you go to a decent club - there will be no sex. You will see them as naked as your state law allows and maybe get your lap grinded on.
At mine the took me on stage, ripped off my underwear elastic, and did some other stuff like lay me down and crawl over me.I think I did a no-no and licked one of their stomachs when they went by. I was drunk. You know I don't really like strip clubs that much. I guess it's ok, but I honestly don't even really get turned on. Also - if you look around you can hear about baccalaureate parties devolve into all of the members sucking off a male stripper. ETA - I miss read the OP, I thought the party hadn't happened yet. Yeah if there are ground rules of "no touching" then you should have adhered to them. |
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I think hanging out with strippers is stupid and immoral. I wouldn't marry a woman who'd be cool with it. But then I'm old fashioned and have morals, so whatever.
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Exceptions, rather than the rule. Re: male strippers, it's generally accepted that touching is A-OK and BJs out in the open is pretty much par for the course. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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What the fuck? Fuck no a stripper is not a wedding-ending offense. Besides, strippers on the level (does such a thing truly exist?) don't do shit to you, at least not the kind of shit that male strippers get away with at bachelorette parties. Oh, bullshit. There have been enough stories here about posters' own bachelor party (or ones they've been at) shenanigans to know that's not true. Exceptions, rather than the rule. Re: male strippers, it's generally accepted that touching is A-OK and BJs out in the open is pretty much par for the course. I absolutely disagree. I think y'all are drawing that from all the crazy videos that get posted in that Girls Gone Wild fashion. Reality is much different. I don't think one type of party is more apt to be *full bore* than the other. |
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If I were you I wouldn't get married.
I would give this advice even if this thread was about a completely different topic |
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Tell her all . If you did nothing but watch and she is still "unsure " what to do. Tell her she is the one you love and if she cannot accept that she should feel free to leave.
Give her the option to call it off. |
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"It's kind of amazing to see the mental gymnastics they go to in order to always blame the woman. Someone should study it." "Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all." In the former, you were saying we always blame the woman. In the latter, a guy who echoes my sentiment that there is another man in the story with suspect motives, gets attacked with your sarcasm. View Quote I think you're mistaken. The way I read it, she admonished the white knight poster pic poster for making fun of a guy suggesting the friend might have ulterior motives. That statement is not mutually exclusive to the statement about some posters always looking to blame the woman. Not sure where you're getting your indignation. |
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"It's kind of amazing to see the mental gymnastics they go to in order to always blame the woman. Someone should study it." "Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all." In the former, you were saying we always blame the woman. In the latter, a guy who echoes my sentiment that there is another man in the story with suspect motives, gets attacked with your sarcasm. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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You're mixing up the quotes. Scroll back up and re-read the post I quoted when I typed that. There's no outrage here. Just mild bemusement at the inevitability of the posts I know I'll see in this thread. Of course I'm mixing them up - that was to show how you contradicted yourself when the context changed. They were both assertions you made about how us guys are, but that can't exist in the same universe. There is no contradiction. I made one assertion. Please show me where I said anything at all about the *other guy* theory that was proffered. Like I said to Ridgerunner, I was addressing that comment to/about some of the men here *in particular* who would be in another thread with a reversed situation (bride-to-be had stippers, wasn't fully truthful and the OP was questioning the situation) and there is no way they'd be telling him he was being jealous and insecure. SOME of the posters would, sure, but not these men *in particular*. They would be 110% confident that she'd had a train run on her and OP better not trust a word coming out of her mouth. "It's kind of amazing to see the mental gymnastics they go to in order to always blame the woman. Someone should study it." "Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all." In the former, you were saying we always blame the woman. In the latter, a guy who echoes my sentiment that there is another man in the story with suspect motives, gets attacked with your sarcasm. I see where the confusion is. I didn't think that the groomsman's possible nefarious motives were why he posted that white knight thing. I thought he was posting it to say that the men in the thread who were understanding the fiancée's side of things and why she was reacting the way she is are white knighting. I based that off of his previous post in the thread: My wife knows I went to a strip club. Shit, she even threw me a handful of twenty's and one's before hand and told me to have a good time. No male strippers at her's though. I know what happens at THOSE shit shows. The fact that (if OP is being honest) his buddy told lies certainly could mean he's up to something shady. There was no contradiction------just a misunderstanding. |
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That would depend on what details of said bachelor party were left out and how bad they were. If it was merely a stripper and you didn't fuck her, etc. Then it's whatever. But it may not even be the goings on of what happened that bugs her, it's that you didn't divulge the whole truth and she had to hear it from someone else. View Quote I'm gonna go with this. My wife is still asleep but I'm positive she'll say the same thing GunsN1nk said. |
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I think you're mistaken. The way I read it, she admonished the white knight poster pic poster for making fun of a guy suggesting the friend might have ulterior motives. That statement is not mutually exclusive to the statement about some posters always looking to blame the woman. Not sure where you're getting your indignation. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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"It's kind of amazing to see the mental gymnastics they go to in order to always blame the woman. Someone should study it." "Yes, a man acknowledging that a woman might justifiably feel as if she's being lied to considering the information given so far, must be white knighting. No other explanation for it at all." In the former, you were saying we always blame the woman. In the latter, a guy who echoes my sentiment that there is another man in the story with suspect motives, gets attacked with your sarcasm. I think you're mistaken. The way I read it, she admonished the white knight poster pic poster for making fun of a guy suggesting the friend might have ulterior motives. That statement is not mutually exclusive to the statement about some posters always looking to blame the woman. Not sure where you're getting your indignation. It gets more confusing! I thought he was posting that to make fun of the guys who are saying they understand why his fiancee' is a bit wigged out right now. Like, the only reason a man could agree with a woman is because he's being a white knight. |
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OP is not being alpha at all.
A buddy of mine had a bachelor party the week before his wedding; he went out with his friends and got shitfaced; he fucked a stripper; his wife found out about it and acted all butthurt; he pulled out his dick and made her suck the whore's leftover pussy stink off it; they got married the next week. Alpha as FUCK. |
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