User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 1:11:01 AM EDT
[#1]
You can't fix stupid.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 1:17:05 AM EDT
[#2]
Knuckle Fuck & Cluster Fuck
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 1:22:16 AM EDT
[#3]
from by BIL after a fart-
Keep talking sir, we will find you soon. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 1:36:52 AM EDT
[#4]
My 'ol Platoon Sergeant was fond of saying, "Move out and draw fire, Private."
In honor of SFC Boone, I still say that phrase periodically. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 1:42:14 AM EDT
[#5]
Just following orders
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 1:45:53 AM EDT
[#6]
"I lost my give a fuck retainer pin"
"CSMO - cut shit move out" "Rat fuck" |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 2:04:47 AM EDT
[#7]
Climb a wall of dicks with his hands tied behind his back.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 2:06:20 AM EDT
[#8]
Everyone pretty much covered most of them.
Shit sandwich fag bag (man purse like map bag) meat beaters (same as dick beaters - hands) I still say 30 years later: football bat, as in " that's about as useful as a football bat" unfuck.... whatever was fucked up. Bag of dicks (group of guys) We would refer "bag of dicks" to whatever squad/platoon/company as applicable: "Tell Sgt. Stephens to take his bag of dicks (squad) to LZ charlie" "Tell 2nd platoon to get their bag of dicks on the next stick" (tell 2nd Plt to get on the next set of choppers) "Have your bag of dicks exchange their cum crusted linen tonight" "Those bag of dicks in 3rd bat need to be head spaced and timed" (Those guys in 3rd battalion are all fucked up and need guidance) I hated hearing "high speed, low drag" unless it was in a sarcastic statement. "low speed, high drag" is better, |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 2:16:38 AM EDT
[#9]
Your MILITARY left!
Zero Dark Thirty. Do them until I'M tired. Did your mommy and daddy actually speak fucking English?? Hey (insert insult here), you have to be smarter than the equipment your working with. To fuck with whoever is off course while leading a patrol/movement to contact: Ask a troop nearby to shake a tree/fire off a flare and you'll look on the map for the movement/spark. Pop smoke and move the fuck out. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 2:17:34 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
it would be who of you.... dafuq? you fucking kidding me? Musta been a marine. 
It would behoove you. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 2:37:33 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: dafuq? you fucking kidding me? Musta been a marine. It would behoove you. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: it would be who of you.... dafuq? you fucking kidding me? Musta been a marine. It would behoove you. Hah I always hated that. I was army, and there was a dumb-as-rocks psg from another plt that thought it was "be hooah of you." Like "it would be hooah of you to learn your cherry packet" and shit. Drove me nuts.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 2:42:19 AM EDT
[#12]
The only one I remember and still use daily is... "cluster-fuck"
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 3:27:08 AM EDT
[#13]
This is rookie day one shit
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 3:43:53 AM EDT
[#14]
Heard it here while back, but have since integrated it into my beratement lexicon: I hope your dick is longer than your memory!
It actually got me in trouble when a young airman relayed the story to his wife who then relayed it to the shirt. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 3:58:41 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Go climb a wall of dicks. Had a csm finish an op order and then tacked on "... But what the fuck do I know. You're the ones fuckin the cat, I'm just holding his tail." I chuckled. Or " Hey, I'm fucking this chicken, you're just holding the head." LC |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 4:02:13 AM EDT
[#16]
A guy in my platoon once said to our 1st Sgt.: "Don't fuck with me Top, I'm so short I could parachute off the edge of a dime." Or on the latrine wall: "Flush hard, it's a long way to the mess hall".
Short, un-ass, book-up, boo koo, "So and so's goin' to the stockade." "Yeah, his shit's in the wind, man." (from forty years ago) |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 4:04:07 AM EDT
[#17]
From my favorite EQCM
" Son, I was in Baghdad when you were in your dad's bag " |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 4:29:31 AM EDT
[#18]
numb- nuts
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 4:35:29 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
Don't just draw a line in the sand. Dig a fighting position. If you find yourself in a fair fight you tactics suck. Goat fuck If you can't fix it, fuck it. (used when someone higher up wants you to fix something with a already broken part, things could get much more obviously broken) ETA You in the green. Addressing someone as "Rambo". |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 4:46:44 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Or " Hey, I'm fucking this chicken, you're just holding the head wings." LC Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Go climb a wall of dicks. Had a csm finish an op order and then tacked on "... But what the fuck do I know. You're the ones fuckin the cat, I'm just holding his tail." I chuckled. Or " Hey, I'm fucking this chicken, you're just holding the head wings." LC how I heard it |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 5:18:54 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Carry on then. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I fucking HATE "as you were"  Carry on then. Com'ere, shipmate... |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 5:20:30 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Make a hole. I remember that one, before it was banned because females might get offended
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 5:35:27 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I remember that one, before it was banned because females might get offended Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Make a hole. I remember that one, before it was banned because females might get offended I still use it all the time while on duty.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 5:51:44 AM EDT
[#24]
FUBAR
SNAFU And to my co-workers: prior planning prevents piss poor performance |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 6:42:03 AM EDT
[#25]
you're on you're own time ladies hey hero, you better lock em up the us army is the only place on the planet where you get fucked morning noon and night baddest mother fucker in the army (skillcraft pen) |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 7:33:38 AM EDT
[#26]
You are so out of shape you look like a burlap sack full of doorknobs.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 7:40:24 AM EDT
[#27]
Read the FULL question.
Answer the FULL question. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 7:43:28 AM EDT
[#28]
Alright Dickfers get in here. Whats a Dickfer? A dick is fer fucking, stupid.
Square this shit away before the platoon daddy sees this clusterfuck and we are Iron Mike'ing to Iraq. That was gayer than Elton John sliding backwards down a rainbow made of dicks, sir. I don't want this to taken the wrong way private, but if I don't set you on fire it's going to hurt morale. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 7:49:19 AM EDT
[#29]
That Boy is all Mach & no heading!
The Ol' Crew Chief |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:06:00 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I remember that one, before it was banned because females might get offended Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Make a hole. I remember that one, before it was banned because females might get offended Banned? The f*ck? I remember belting that out at full volume as we were rushing a lady back to the ER after she coded in the hospital cafeteria. People were lolly gagging in the hall, smokin' and jokin', and not getting the hell out of the way of our fast-moving stretcher (complete with nurse astride patient, doing compressions) They moved after that. Command-voice has its uses. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:12:04 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Command-voice has its uses. Agreed. But there is a time and place for everything. When I was in college my professor had to drop the airborne over the dropzone so I had to take roll call for him. I silenced a 30+ student class with a forcefull "At Ease!" when they wouldn't stfu for roll call. No one knew what it was, but there was silence from then on. The neighboring teachers showed up to inquire as to who bellowed. Sammy came back and told me he heard me in the stall down the hall. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:24:39 AM EDT
[#32]
Jody's got your girl. I didn't like Jody.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:33:49 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Alright Dickfers get in here. Whats a Dickfer? A dick is fer fucking, stupid. Square this shit away before the platoon daddy sees this clusterfuck and we are Iron Mike'ing to Iraq. That was gayer than Elton John sliding backwards down a rainbow made of dicks, sir. I don't want this to taken the wrong way private, but if I don't set you on fire it's going to hurt morale. I gotta' remember this one... |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:35:43 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
it would be who of you.... It would behoove you* |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:40:43 AM EDT
[#35]
Some people are dumb enough to fuckup a ball bearing.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:54:00 AM EDT
[#36]
Whenever a group of higher ranks would gather together and it was obvious that none of them had a clue, they would be described as "playing butt darts". I've never heard that out of my unit.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:57:04 AM EDT
[#37]
Watch out for the Knife hand. It'll cut ya.
Maximum effective range for an excuse is zero. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 9:15:25 AM EDT
[#38]
Nut to butt
Wrinkle grenade Summer creases We know we've been underway for 35 days but they say we might be pulling in next week. So even though the rest of the ship will be at the steel beach we are gonna work instead... You got the balls to four... |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 9:28:14 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
how I heard it Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Go climb a wall of dicks. Had a csm finish an op order and then tacked on "... But what the fuck do I know. You're the ones fuckin the cat, I'm just holding his tail." I chuckled. Or " Hey, I'm fucking this chicken, you're just holding the head wings." LC how I heard it If we need to fuck this chicken....lets get some yolk on our dicks.................(move out, draw fire and be a hero) The" L" in CENTCOM stands for Leadership I added the "P" in CENTCOM stands for Planning |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 9:46:27 AM EDT
[#40]
In there like swimwear...
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. I'm fuckin this cat, you're just holding the tail. Like a monkey fucking a football... Wronger than two boys fuckin... Hotter than two rats, fuckin in a wool sock... Happier than a faggot with a mouthful of butthair... Couldn't lead a bunch of faggots to a bag of dicks... Couldn't lead a group in silent prayer... On it like a hobo on a ham sandwich (or sammich)... On you like stink on shit... On you like white on rice... In the zone... He looks like a 2 pound turd stuffed into a one pond bag. Food blister Go-fasters |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 10:09:55 AM EDT
[#41]
CSMO= Collect your Shit and Move Out
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 10:19:08 AM EDT
[#42]
Moored. Shift colors. The OOD is now shifting his watch from the bridge to the quarterdeck. Liberty call, liberty call .... liberty now commences for all hands.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 10:30:29 AM EDT
[#43]
Be professional, be polite, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 10:31:02 AM EDT
[#44]
Not a saying, but rather a name for an action: wall-to-wall counseling.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 10:58:38 AM EDT
[#45]
Obviously few navy guys here-
Shipmate - used in derision by us, as a term of endearment by the command. Shipmate = buddyf****ker Bravo Zulu - screw up - Well, Bravo Zulu to you. So how do you motorize a diesel generator, shipmate? Fighting words: bag job - dumping work you should have done on others. This is lost on everyone I use it on in the civie world. bag artist - making that work you dumped on someone else make look like it was their job in the first place. It does not start fights in the civvie world, no matter how contemptuously I use it. Dear God, if I EVER put my hands on my hips, you have permission to kill me. That is something the CO and XO did to assert their command authority. I take it as an expression of complete contempt 30 years later. Ass kissing: Noone drank ice water with a slice of lemon in it before we got a new CO, but afterwards, EVERY asskissing officer and chief on board drank it. It was so blatantly obvious it became a running joke. You could figure a lot about a guy whether he drank ice water with a slice of lemon in it. I don't drink it on principle. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 11:02:45 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Obviously few navy guys here- Shipmate - used in derision by us, as a term of endearment by the command. Shipmate = buddyf****ker Bravo Zulu - screw up - Well, Bravo Zulu to you. So how do you motorize a diesel generator, shipmate? Fighting words: bag job - dumping work you should have done on others. This is lost on everyone I use it on in the civie world. bag artist - making that work you dumped on someone else make look like it was their job in the first place. It does not start fights in the civvie world, no matter how contemptuously I use it. Dear God, if I EVER put my hands on my hips, you have permission to kill me. That is something the CO and XO did to assert their command authority. I take it as an expression of complete contempt 30 years later. Ass kissing: Noone drank ice water with a slice of lemon in it before we got a new CO, but afterwards, EVERY asskissing officer and chief on board drank it. It was so blatantly obvious it became a running joke. You could figure a lot about a guy whether he drank ice water with a slice of lemon in it. I don't drink it on principle. Think you got that one backwards. |
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 11:12:03 AM EDT
[#47]
"Don't worry Marines, when we get back, you'll find your wives and girlfriends the same you left'em... freshly fucked."
Company gunny encouraging us for deployment. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 11:17:08 AM EDT
[#48]
FUBAR
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 11:20:14 AM EDT
[#49]
Get your shit in one sock, then continue the checklist.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 9/20/2014 11:24:24 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Think you got that one backwards. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Obviously few navy guys here- Shipmate - used in derision by us, as a term of endearment by the command. Shipmate = buddyf****ker Bravo Zulu - screw up - Well, Bravo Zulu to you. So how do you motorize a diesel generator, shipmate? Fighting words: bag job - dumping work you should have done on others. This is lost on everyone I use it on in the civie world. bag artist - making that work you dumped on someone else make look like it was their job in the first place. It does not start fights in the civvie world, no matter how contemptuously I use it. Dear God, if I EVER put my hands on my hips, you have permission to kill me. That is something the CO and XO did to assert their command authority. I take it as an expression of complete contempt 30 years later. Ass kissing: Noone drank ice water with a slice of lemon in it before we got a new CO, but afterwards, EVERY asskissing officer and chief on board drank it. It was so blatantly obvious it became a running joke. You could figure a lot about a guy whether he drank ice water with a slice of lemon in it. I don't drink it on principle. Think you got that one backwards. No, I didn't. BZ to us was NOT a compliment. It was a compliment only to rate climbing chiefs and above. |
|
|
Win a FREE Membership!
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
