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Posted: 9/18/2014 11:26:54 PM EDT
Looking for opinions on what to do. My son is a junior in high-school, sixteen, and plays football. Last week, he broke his thumb in two spots during a JV game. After seeing the doctor, he was cleared to play with the stipulation being that he would have to get the thumb properly stabilized before any football activities

He played a JV and Varsity game without incident before reinjuring the thumb at practice Tuesday. He went to the doctor in his own accord to request a hard cast to make playing bearable, but they ended up calling me to tell me they will not recommend he can play until the thumb is healed.

That brings us to today. I email the coaches saying he will not be able to play the homecoming game tomorrow, as he isn't clear. I courtesy copied him on the email. The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game.

He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am." I don't want to let him play on principle, but I also know the limited scope of a sixteen year olds scale of importance. What do you guys think. Not let him dress, let him dress with a punishment otherwise?

Tldr:
Wont let son play in football game because of injury. Son enraged because it would have been his starting varsity debut at homecoming. Comes home and rages on me after finding out I wasn't going to allow him to play.

Update:
He just got back from his friends. I told him if he is going to be an asshole, im not going to dignify him with a response. His choices are he pays the deductible on his Dr visits for this injury, he loses his car for the weekend (no homecoming dance or afterparties), and he can play. Otherwise he sits and cuts slash all day on Sunday while I watch with a cold malt beverage in hand.

Last Update:
Son was apologetic today. He chose to play and give up his car for homecoming weekend. Because he apologized on his own accord I dropped the stipulation that he pay the few hundred dollars for x rays and such.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:28:45 PM EDT
[#1]
Let him play.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:29:16 PM EDT
[#2]
let him play




Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:30:18 PM EDT
[#3]

Quoted:


Looking for opinions on what to do. My son is a junior in high-school, sixteen, and plays football. Last week, he broke his thumb in two spots during a JV game. After seeing the doctor, he was cleared to play with the stipulation being that he would have to get the thumb properly stabilized before any football activities



He played a JV and Varsity game without incident before reinjuring the thumb at practice Tuesday. He went to the doctor in his own accord to request a hard cast to make playing bearable, but they ended up calling me to tell me they will not recommend he can play until the thumb is healed.



That brings us to today. I email the coaches saying he will not be able to play the homecoming game tomorrow, as he isn't clear. I courtesy copied him on the email. The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game.



He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am." I don't want to let him play on principle, but I also know the limited scope of a sixteen year olds scale of importance. What do you guys think. Not let him dress, let him dress with a punishment otherwise?



Tldr:

Wont let son play in football game because of injury. Son enraged because it would have been his starting varsity debut at homecoming. Comes home and rages on me after finding out I wasn't going to allow him to play.

View Quote


 



Or I mean, you know. He could rebreak his thumb and be out for the rest of the season - at best.




If you're fighting him, and you see he's got a bad thumb, what are you gonna do?




He's in the tenth grade. Calmly explain to him that bullshit forever isn't worth five minutes of fame.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:31:06 PM EDT
[#4]
Call me crazy but I'm going to have to go with the Dr's advice.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:32:42 PM EDT
[#5]
You let him play now and he will walk all over you for the rest of the time he is at home.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:32:47 PM EDT
[#6]
Is your son's health more important than one football game?  There is only one right answer.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:32:47 PM EDT
[#7]
Don't know much about football.  Don't know much about thumb injuries.  Can it be made so that he can play without risking the thumbs utility for the rest of his life?

Edit:  Finished reading, not sure I'd let my kid do anything after ranting at me over it.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:32:56 PM EDT
[#8]
If he says he can play, let him play.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:33:25 PM EDT
[#9]
Let him play.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:33:27 PM EDT
[#10]
Sorry I don't have a teenager in my house. But I do have a four year old, your house , your rules and all!

Doc knows more than the teen does. Do what you must!
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:34:42 PM EDT
[#11]
Try and imagine what would have happened to Al Bundy if he wasn't allowed to play high school football.

It could have ruined his life.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:35:32 PM EDT
[#12]
It's going to be over too quick. Let him play. It's probably too late now, though, dad. They've game planned without him now. He'll sit even if you let him dress.

Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:36:42 PM EDT
[#13]
Remember one thing YOU are the Father and HE is the son..  that makes you the alpha male
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:37:41 PM EDT
[#14]
For the insolence I'd make him become a cheerleader.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:37:42 PM EDT
[#15]
A broken finger? Is that all?

Splint and tape it and let him play.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:37:45 PM EDT
[#16]
Good Cast = PLAY, hell our kids race dirt bikes in casts
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:37:47 PM EDT
[#17]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game.

He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am."
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game.

He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am."


+++++++++

Quoted:
You let him play now and he will walk all over you for the rest of the time he is at home.


This. And, your son needs an attitude adjustment.

Aloha, Mark
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:37:58 PM EDT
[#18]
risk of loss of thumb for the rest of his life vs playing in a HS football game?

righttttttttttttttttttt


Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:38:16 PM EDT
[#19]
Will coach let him play wearing something like this?

Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:38:37 PM EDT
[#20]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
For the insolence I'd make him become a cheerleader kicker.
View Quote

Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:39:15 PM EDT
[#21]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Is your son's health more important than one football game?  There is only one right answer.
View Quote


Answer is he's going PRO!
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:39:44 PM EDT
[#22]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You let him play now and he will walk all over you for the rest of the time he is at home.
View Quote


This

The thumb is not the issue here.  It's all about attitude and relationship.  Nip this in the bud now.... or it's gonna be a long few years before you throw him out
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:39:59 PM EDT
[#23]
Just cut it off.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:41:06 PM EDT
[#24]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Call me crazy but I'm going to have to go with the Dr's advice.
View Quote


This.

If he's 16 this won't be his last game.  But if he plays and really fucks things up, it might be.  Do the right thing so he can enjoy the rest of high school football.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:41:53 PM EDT
[#25]
He would sit on principle if he were my son.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:41:57 PM EDT
[#26]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Let him play.
View Quote


and be proud of his will and commitment.
Game On.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:42:01 PM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:

"I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am."
View Quote


After saying that to me, football would be the least of his worries.


Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:42:14 PM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
A broken finger? Is that all?

Splint and tape it and let him play.
View Quote



Normally I'd agree, I did the same with a broken pinkie.  But a thumb isn't the same as the other 4 digits.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:44:52 PM EDT
[#29]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


After saying that to me, football would be the least of his worries.


View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:

"I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am."


After saying that to me, football would be the least of his worries.



Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:45:15 PM EDT
[#30]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You let him play now and he will walk all over you for the rest of the time he is at home.
View Quote


This.

Plus, say you let him play... He hurts himself again, and for the rest of his life, no opening doors, no being able to answer a phone, use tools, etc...
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:45:54 PM EDT
[#31]
Proper cast , let him play.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:46:11 PM EDT
[#32]
Him saying to me: "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am."
Wouldn't fly with me. Speak to me civilly or not at all. Besides, it's an empty threat. All it would take is a call to the coach from you and he'd be off the team.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:46:16 PM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


and be proud of his will and commitment.
Game On.
View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Let him play.


and be proud of his will and commitment.
Game On.


True, if you lead by showing him it is fine to risk certain injury, he will become a youtube star.  Video will start with "Hold my beer and watch this.."
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:46:19 PM EDT
[#34]
Got a 13YO boy in the house that has been shown that going on a tirade never gets anywhere.

Better squash that bug...
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:47:56 PM EDT
[#35]
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:48:09 PM EDT
[#36]
Let him play.

If the thumb is hurt again, the worst that will happen is maybe he doesn't masterbate as much.

BTW OP, you sound like you're balls deep in the faggotry that is public school bullshit. Emailing doctors and coaches and listening to their politically correct CYA talk. Does anyone make a goddamn phone call or have an actual conversation anymore? How is the thumb going to get hurt inside a hard cast?
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:48:09 PM EDT
[#37]
I would give him two choices.

Play and he is off the team after this game

OR

Sit and shut up.

You can tell the coaches that he isn't allowed on the team and he needs to understand that. You need to be serious about this.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:48:12 PM EDT
[#38]
Coming from someone who has 3 fucked up fingers from high school football. Don't let him play and give them time to heal
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:48:21 PM EDT
[#39]
I had to have ankle surgery this year over an ankle that was hurt over 14 years ago in high school football. I say let it heal. As for the going behind your back. I would let the coaches know what he did and that extra conditioning is needed for him.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:48:40 PM EDT
[#40]
Shit if your son wants to play that bad. Have a firm talk to him and let him know you are the father.
But if he really wants to play and stick it out, let him, if you don't you will break his spirit.
Your son seems like a good American boy,let him learn to be his own man.
Even though I understand your concerns as a father for his injury,
we need more lion hearted kids like yours. I could'nt help but to
be proud of him.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:48:48 PM EDT
[#41]
Better my son being gay, than playing football.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:49:35 PM EDT
[#42]
If is thumb was not broken he would be starting a game in which any of his other bones could end up broken, so there's that.

Are seriously upset that your 19 year old son who is responsible enough to take himself to the doctors, to make decisions regarding the care he receives is assertive enough to challenge you over what he wants for himself?

You ought to be proud of him and help him make the best of his already challenged opportunity.

My two cents. [img]http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/smiley_thinking.gif[/img


< Has a 20 year old son, would be and am proud of him.






Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:50:56 PM EDT
[#43]
Kick him in the ass, stabilize and protect the thumb, let him play.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:51:15 PM EDT
[#44]
My heart would say: Let him play.



My mind would say: Oh, you are sitting for while there skippy.
You guys guess which one wins.







Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:51:29 PM EDT
[#45]
I'm not a parent, but to me, I could let him off the hook a bit for being so upset and telling you he was going to play.  It's better that he's passionate about something than some listless emo teen who hates the world.

The big thing is that at 16 (and we've all been there) we think we know more than we do.  He's probably go out there and play with a severed limb.  The important thing is to make sure it's not something that will affect the rest of his life.  You can talk to him when he's calmed down and some time has passed and he might see your side, he might not, but you're doing what's best for him.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:51:36 PM EDT
[#46]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Let him play.
View Quote


No.

If he had come to dad first and asked, maybe.

The fact that he went behind dad's back, and is now dictating to him what he's going to do... Fuck that.

Stay home, kid.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:51:50 PM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Let him play.

If the thumb is hurt again, the worst that will happen is maybe he doesn't masterbate as much.

BTW OP, you sound like you're balls deep in the faggotry that is public school bullshit. Emailing doctors and coaches and listening to their politically correct CYA talk. Does anyone make a goddamn phone call or have an actual conversation anymore? How is the thumb going to get hurt inside a hard cast?
View Quote

Didn't get hurt in a hard cast, got hurt in a splint. The doctor is refusing to put him in a hard cast solely so he can play football. Dint feel the need to talk to the coach, as he is a fucking prick.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:52:18 PM EDT
[#48]
My son would of had that shit beaten out of him at a very young age and would have NEVER acted like that.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:52:52 PM EDT
[#49]
Ahem, if I had said anything like that to my dad I wouldn't have been able to play, I' might have been introduced to physical violence upon my person.
On his reaction alone he fucked up, would have been a lot more on his side if he'd been more rational about it in discussing it with you.  On the other hand, you might have taken his input before sending the email, just a thought. At least then he doesn't feel like he's being controlled, even if in fact he is and that's how it should be.
Link Posted: 9/18/2014 11:53:21 PM EDT
[#50]
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