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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:47:21 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Most recently: "Can you change the baby's diaper?" "I'm cooking your dinner right now." "But it needs to be changed." "Okay watch this so it doesn't burn." Five minutes later. "I dinner ready yet?" What is she doing during this time? |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:53:43 PM EDT
[#2]
Ya'll got it wrong it's " mentalpause". Mine, just about, is over it.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:03:43 PM EDT
[#3]
Lol
Not 10 seconds ago "My car needs an oil change" "Would you feel like getting the laundry basket from downstairs?" 30 yrs now I know the game But she did make meatballs and a pot of sauce today and I got my fill of samples Compromise is what it is Like water grasshoppers, path of least resistance... |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:07:00 PM EDT
[#4]
Wife: I need to go to the store
Me: Okay, get ready and I'll be ready in 10 minutes. Hours later after Kelly and Mike, Dr OZ or whatever Doctor is on TV, then a soap opera. It's now 3:30. Wife: I'm getting hungry, what are you fixing for dinner? Me: I thought you wanted to go to the store. Wife: Maybe tomorrow, I don't feel like it anymore today Me: Somebody, Lord are you around, please take me...please! |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:07:11 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
What is she doing during this time? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Most recently: "Can you change the baby's diaper?" "I'm cooking your dinner right now." "But it needs to be changed." "Okay watch this so it doesn't burn." Five minutes later. "I dinner ready yet?" What is she doing during this time? Probably texting her friend about what a lazy POS her husband is. 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:19:34 PM EDT
[#6]
My wife always asks me if I will "help her". Something like "Will you help me paint the bathroom?" That means will you paint the bathroom while I stand around? Now, as long as she is standing around in shorts and a tank top, I'm OK. I learned though that if I say "yes" she will start bringing it back up like "I thought you were going to help me paint the bathroom". Now if she does that I say "Let me know when you have the paint" because there is no damn way I'm going to help pick the color so I can be blamed if she doesn't like it.
Women just like to talk about things. If one of my buddies wants to go fishing he will text me "Want to go fishing Sat? Will pick you up at 4:30:" I text back "Yes." We are done. No need to keep talking about it for days before we go. We already said it. Women would talk about it all week and get each other little gifts. I can't imagine living in a culture where you have more than one wife. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:36:49 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
She obviously took it to mean you had nothing that you wanted to do so she was free to put things on the schedule. Perhaps if you'd have said, "I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything at all but relax and scratch and my balls" she'd have known what you meant. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Wife:"Whaddya want to do this weekend? Me:"Nothing." Wife, bit later: "Okay, we have dinner with the Johnsons at 6, tomorrow we need to go to the movies with the Smiths, tomorrow night you're taking me to dinner, sunday we need to go to the store and visit your parents, and then the Russells are coming over for dinner..." Me:  "That's a whole lot of nothing...."She obviously took it to mean you had nothing that you wanted to do so she was free to put things on the schedule. Perhaps if you'd have said, "I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything at all but relax and scratch and my balls" she'd have known what you meant. Yeah. I am learning that I need to be more....descriptive in my answers. But not too descriptive! Kind of like the whole "What are you thinking about?" question. I have learned to say "Guns" or "Video Game Stuff" instead of "Nothing". |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:48:44 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Probably texting her friend about what a lazy POS her husband is. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Most recently: "Can you change the baby's diaper?" "I'm cooking your dinner right now." "But it needs to be changed." "Okay watch this so it doesn't burn." Five minutes later. "I dinner ready yet?" What is she doing during this time? Probably texting her friend about what a lazy POS her husband is. Actually normally complaining that I haven't done enough around the house. Even though I do all the laundry, cooking and cleaning. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:49:28 PM EDT
[#9]
My wife has a magical way of knowing when i just sit down to relax and then asks me to get up and do something that i could have done minutes before.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:52:07 PM EDT
[#10]
Mine will ask me to do something, then explain in great detail how i should do it. FTN
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:53:06 PM EDT
[#11]
Mine plays about like below, except she usually waits to give me this shtick after we are 6 blocks from home in the car. It drives me nuts.
Me: where do you want to eat? her: I don't know and I don't care. me: seafood her: no me: chinese her: no me: thai her: no me: steak her: no me: Well where do you want to eat? You're the one that wanted to go out for dinner her: I don't know and I don't care me: aaaaarrrrruuuuuugggggg! |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:53:12 PM EDT
[#12]
My Wife will have no interest in a TV show that I am watching, tell me how she hates it, then as I am watching it ask me questions about it?? then when I tell her she needs to watch the show to understand whats going on she tells me she doesn't want to watch it
why are you asking then
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Posted: 8/29/2014 3:59:43 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Oh, don't let that get in the way of a good "Let's Bitch About Women" thread. I swear sometimes y'all are worse than a crowd of old biddies at a sewing circle. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
If this is the stickiest thing in your relationships, I'm guessing ya'll are alright! Oh, don't let that get in the way of a good "Let's Bitch About Women" thread. I swear sometimes y'all are worse than a crowd of old biddies at a sewing circle. A Mary Kay party of menopausal triple divorcées would bitch less and be more free from drama. But to the OP's question: judging by the constant background hum of misogynowhining in GD, a woman merely breathing is profoundly offensive to SomeMen here. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 4:09:00 PM EDT
[#14]
Guys ....you are all giving excellent examples of gender differences in communication.
Women in the US tend to have a very indirect way of communicating. Sociolinguistics is good stuff. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 4:10:49 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They all have horns. Well, except our mothers. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 4:13:14 PM EDT
[#16]
For a decade, I said "Dear, I'm a guy. I don't fucking do hints. Not subtle hints, not obvious hints. If you fucking want me to do something, just fucking say it." And I refused to do it until she said it. Finally (after a decade) she understands. But even now, she'll do the "would you like to..." and I just give her the stink eye. She gets this guilty look on her face and says "Oh, yeah. No hints. I remember now."
Most of the time.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 4:18:43 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Mine and I do the same thing Wife: Do you want to take out the garbage? Me: No, I don't want to. Who the fuck doesn't say 'No' when asked? 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 4:20:21 PM EDT
[#18]
Invented debts.
"Can you do this massive project for me? I did make you cookies last week." |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 4:25:03 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wait till she hits menopause. F $£?$ ING A Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 4:29:44 PM EDT
[#20]
Do you think she wants to fuck everytime you say "honey you wanna fuck"?
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Posted: 8/29/2014 4:35:46 PM EDT
[#21]
Its a blessing, not a curse, honest.
mine just tells me to do things. Simply, honestly, "The trash stinks, please take that out." Least it cuts through the bullsh*t.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 5:25:34 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah. I am learning that I need to be more....descriptive in my answers. But not too descriptive! Kind of like the whole "What are you thinking about?" question. I have learned to say "Guns" or "Video Game Stuff" instead of "Nothing". Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Wife:"Whaddya want to do this weekend? Me:"Nothing." Wife, bit later: "Okay, we have dinner with the Johnsons at 6, tomorrow we need to go to the movies with the Smiths, tomorrow night you're taking me to dinner, sunday we need to go to the store and visit your parents, and then the Russells are coming over for dinner..." Me: "That's a whole lot of nothing...."She obviously took it to mean you had nothing that you wanted to do so she was free to put things on the schedule. Perhaps if you'd have said, "I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything at all but relax and scratch and my balls" she'd have known what you meant. Yeah. I am learning that I need to be more....descriptive in my answers. But not too descriptive! Kind of like the whole "What are you thinking about?" question. I have learned to say "Guns" or "Video Game Stuff" instead of "Nothing". That's how you do it. 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 5:27:03 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A Mary Kay party of menopausal triple divorcées would bitch less and be more free from drama. But to the OP's question: judging by the constant background hum of misogynowhining in GD, a woman merely breathing is profoundly offensive to SomeMen here. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
If this is the stickiest thing in your relationships, I'm guessing ya'll are alright! Oh, don't let that get in the way of a good "Let's Bitch About Women" thread. I swear sometimes y'all are worse than a crowd of old biddies at a sewing circle. A Mary Kay party of menopausal triple divorcées would bitch less and be more free from drama. But to the OP's question: judging by the constant background hum of misogynowhining in GD, a woman merely breathing is profoundly offensive to SomeMen here. I used to sell Mary Kay and can confirm your theory. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 5:38:36 PM EDT
[#24]
Why should we even have to ask you to take out the trash??? Did you not see it was full when you tried to push it down into the bin when you added that last beer cam?
Just curious 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 5:39:53 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Why should we even have to ask you to take out the trash??? Did you not see it was full when you tried to push it down into the bin when you added that last beer cam? Just curious Are your arms broken? |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 5:48:15 PM EDT
[#26]
These threads remind me of how lucky I am. Going to give my wife a hug now.
....and take out the trash. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 5:48:45 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If my wife asks me : "do you want to.....?" I just respond honestly. Ex: Her: do you want to take out the trash? Me: no. Her: do you want to change the baby's diaper? Me: no. When she gets annoyed with me, I simply say: "you asked me if i wanted to... If you don't want to know, then don't ask. If you'd like me to do something, you should have just said "will you please do.....?" I've been using this strategy for the last year. So far I haven't seen any change in the spousal unit. I will report back after another year or two of experimenting with this approach. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 5:57:35 PM EDT
[#28]
I'm in the living room, lights off, tv is off, blanket and it's nighttime. Obviously asleep.
Wife turns on the lights and asks me what I am doing. "im baking a cake, what's it look like I'm doing!" Man she got pissed, I still say that bake a cake thing to her from time to time... |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 6:05:04 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Do they ever say, would you mind having sex right now? On Occasion!!
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Posted: 8/29/2014 6:10:20 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If my wife needs me to do a task, she will just ask. "Can you take out the trash" ..... the kicker is, she usually will back up to me and/or rub up on me while batting her eyes while asking. She knows I can't say no when she does that shit Wow, such a small simple gesture, yet so effective. I wish. 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 6:14:39 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
They all have horns. Well, except our mothers. Wiser words were never spoken, er, typed.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 6:18:53 PM EDT
[#32]
Walk from room to room turning on lights but does not shut them off when she leave the rooms.
Take a bath or shower and then leave the damp used towel on the bedroom floor day after day until there are no clean towels left. All the while you keep hoping to yourself that she will please PICK THEM THE FUCK UP AND AT LEAST PUT THEM BACK IF NOT TO WASH THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Drink the last bit of something in the fridge and then place the empty container back inside like its going to magically refilled its fucking self! Be off work all day & when you get home from a 10 hour shift, bitch about why you didn't do the dishes this morning. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 6:20:53 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
Wifey: "Honey, do you want to take out the garbage?" Me: "I live my life for it." Wifey: "Don't be a smart ass." Me: "Please, please, please if you want me to do something just ask like this, "Honey, would you please take out the garbage or check the mail or start a load of laundry.....you know? I am happy to do all those things, but just ask me to do those things, and not if I want to." Wifey: "I think it is a woman thing. Would you like to give me your opinion?" Me: "Arghhhh! There you go again. The prior Ms. Goldstein did the same thing after I begged her to stop. The $20k divorce was nearly worth It just to stop hearing her do that." Wifey: "Point taken. Would you like to massage my feet?" Me:
That's my example of estrogen poisoning or that thing that women seem to be born to do. Would you like to give me your example?  Wouldn't have to worry about all that soft shit if you was married to a puerto rican. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 10:24:28 PM EDT
[#34]
been married 11 years and my wife still hasnt got the hint that i dont talk through walls. if you want to ask me something then come ask me something. dont yell from the other room. i wont answer
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Posted: 8/29/2014 10:52:25 PM EDT
[#35]
Her: Can I go to the bathroom?
Me: That's between you and your urologist. She LOLed and (usually) uses proper english after that one.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 11:06:14 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
She obviously took it to mean you had nothing that you wanted to do so she was free to put things on the schedule. Perhaps if you'd have said, "I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything at all but relax and scratch and my balls" she'd have known what you meant. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Wife:"Whaddya want to do this weekend? Me:"Nothing." Wife, bit later: "Okay, we have dinner with the Johnsons at 6, tomorrow we need to go to the movies with the Smiths, tomorrow night you're taking me to dinner, sunday we need to go to the store and visit your parents, and then the Russells are coming over for dinner..." Me: "That's a whole lot of nothing...."She obviously took it to mean you had nothing that you wanted to do so she was free to put things on the schedule. Perhaps if you'd have said, "I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything at all but relax and scratch and my balls" she'd have known what you meant. "Women don't want to hear what you want. They want to hear what they want, in a deeper voice." 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 11:10:31 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A Mary Kay party of menopausal triple divorcées would bitch less and be more free from drama. But to the OP's question: judging by the constant background hum of misogynowhining in GD, a woman merely breathing is profoundly offensive to SomeMen here. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
If this is the stickiest thing in your relationships, I'm guessing ya'll are alright! Oh, don't let that get in the way of a good "Let's Bitch About Women" thread. I swear sometimes y'all are worse than a crowd of old biddies at a sewing circle. A Mary Kay party of menopausal triple divorcées would bitch less and be more free from drama. But to the OP's question: judging by the constant background hum of misogynowhining in GD, a woman merely breathing is profoundly offensive to SomeMen here. Like it or not, Arfcom is a boy's club. 99.9% of the members are male, or at least don't identify as female. What do guys bitch about, to other guys? Women. Deal with it.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 11:12:46 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Do they ever say, would you mind having sex right now? Before wedding cake, all the time. Must be something in the cake.
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Posted: 8/30/2014 1:28:38 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Do they ever say, would you mind having sex right now? I do, kinda. Actually, what I say is, "Baby, if you don't have any plans for your dick for the next couple of minutes, could you stick it in me?" Is it wrong that I phrase this as a question? |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 1:31:01 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Like it or not, Arfcom is a boy's club. 99.9% of the members are male, or at least don't identify as female. What do guys bitch about, to other guys? Women. Deal with it. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
If this is the stickiest thing in your relationships, I'm guessing ya'll are alright! Oh, don't let that get in the way of a good "Let's Bitch About Women" thread. I swear sometimes y'all are worse than a crowd of old biddies at a sewing circle. A Mary Kay party of menopausal triple divorcées would bitch less and be more free from drama. But to the OP's question: judging by the constant background hum of misogynowhining in GD, a woman merely breathing is profoundly offensive to SomeMen here. Like it or not, Arfcom is a boy's club. 99.9% of the members are male, or at least don't identify as female. What do guys bitch about, to other guys? Women. Deal with it. I just did. |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 2:00:45 AM EDT
[#41]
My wife usually does this. "Hey, how good are you at doing (some complete pain-in-the-ass task)?"
I think she takes any answer to that as a unconditional acceptance that I want to do nothing else but to whatever she's planning. |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 2:03:55 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Walk from room to room turning on lights but does not shut them off when she leave the rooms. Take a bath or shower and then leave the damp used towel on the bedroom floor day after day until there are no clean towels left. All the while you keep hoping to yourself that she will please PICK THEM THE FUCK UP AND AT LEAST PUT THEM BACK IF NOT TO WASH THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drink the last bit of something in the fridge and then place the empty container back inside like its going to magically refilled its fucking self! Be off work all day & when you get home from a 10 hour shift, bitch about why you didn't do the dishes this morning. holy shiat  at first I thought I had drunk posted last night
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Posted: 8/30/2014 2:06:12 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I do, kinda. Actually, what I say is, "Baby, if you don't have any plans for your dick for the next couple of minutes, could you stick it in me?" Is it wrong that I phrase this as a question? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Do they ever say, would you mind having sex right now? I do, kinda. Actually, what I say is, "Baby, if you don't have any plans for your dick for the next couple of minutes, could you stick it in me?" Is it wrong that I phrase this as a question? Completely unrelated... I miss your "Good Morning, Arfcom!" threads. |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 2:23:05 AM EDT
[#44]
My wife has never said anything like that to me. If having the garbage taken out was that important to her, she'd take it out.
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Posted: 8/30/2014 3:00:48 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My wife has never said anything like that to me. If having the garbage taken out was that important to her, she'd take it out. That's my approach. When the trash bag in the container under the sink is full, I put it in the trash can. When the bag in the trash can is full, I put it in my truck and take it to the dump. Avoids the possibly of chickenshit semantic quibbling. |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 3:08:53 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I do, kinda. Actually, what I say is, "Baby, if you don't have any plans for your dick for the next couple of minutes, could you stick it in me?" Is it wrong that I phrase this as a question? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Do they ever say, would you mind having sex right now? I do, kinda. Actually, what I say is, "Baby, if you don't have any plans for your dick for the next couple of minutes, could you stick it in me?" Is it wrong that I phrase this as a question? Oh damn.....nice, real nice! |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 3:22:42 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If my wife asks me : "do you want to.....?" I just respond honestly. Ex: Her: do you want to take out the trash? Me: no. Her: do you want to change the baby's diaper? Me: no. When she gets annoyed with me, I simply say: "you asked me if i wanted to... If you don't want to know, then don't ask. If you'd like me to do something, you should have just said "will you please do.....?" I've been using this strategy for the last year. So far I haven't seen any change in the spousal unit. I will report back after another year or two of experimenting with this approach. If you two live to be 103 there will be no change up to the day you die. Save your breath. |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 3:27:19 AM EDT
[#48]
When the wife asks what I'm thinking about, I just respond, your boobs.
If she wants me to do something she'll just ask me the question while rubbing her butt against me. Hard to tell that ass no. The painting and yard projects and shit like that I don't mind doing. She's a good wife and it keeps me from having to watch Once upon a time or American Horror Stories on Netflix while she cleans or cooks or folds laundry. I'd rather be out in the garage tinkering with something or working on the chicken coop or looking for ways to hide a pygmy goat in the yard without the neighbors seeing. |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 3:34:47 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Now if she does that I say "Let me know when you have the paint" because there is no damn way I'm going to help pick the color so I can be blamed if she doesn't like it. .Never, NEVER pick the paint. The hell starts when they can't make up their mind and the entire downstairs needs painting. That's when you get several gallons of primer tinted haze grey and a pint of signal red and prime the downstairs with it and stencil the switches, electrical plugs, doors and windows so the place looks like the inside of a destroyer. THEN they make up their minds FAST. As far as color goes, I once made it clear I decorate in a few colors. OD, chocolate chip brown, desert tan, Navy gray , signal red, neon orange and neon pink. Because of this SHE chooses the color. FWIW men can be colorblind, women can't. As a result women have a greater sensitivity to color and it means more to them. Let HER choose the color even if you have to force the issue. |
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Posted: 8/30/2014 3:36:45 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A Mary Kay party of menopausal triple divorcées would bitch less and be more free from drama. Damn you, Jane! Now I got coffee all over my shirt and keyboard....AGAIN. |
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