How to you tell a judge :

look I can't move back here because I will start fucking up again ......

they are all playing for the same team. just like fucking politicians. why do you think 3/4 of Washington are lawyers?

vote arf

i am divided should i stay or should i go

 

so in other words I am an asshole ?

I knew that

ETA after our come to divine power phone call
he discovered my x to death hence the settlement offfer

I want to do what's right for the kids
the youngest 2 want to have a mom the oldest 2 want nothing to do with her
its all fucked a house divided

if i start hanging out with x again I likely will fuck up


should i take the easy road and settle or fight for whats best for my kids

I am a weak piece of shit that wants to take the easy way but my kids deserve better

Jeebus,
I thought my ex was nvts.

Hope you have better luck keeping your kids away from the substance abuse crazy than we did.

My wife's ex who lives in a different state sued her for increased parenting time "up to and including all summer, every school break, and every three day weekend", as well as demanding she pay half the travel costs of airfare for all of it, a reduction in child support to $200 a month for two teenagers, and for my wife to provide health insurance (she's a pool healthcare employee - no benefits, he's a full time DOT truck driver with benefits).  He also was 1800 bucks behind on child support.

We were dead set opposed to this because the guy is patently unstable, dishonest, and has a big drug problem.  We wound up going to trial.

At the trial, he hadn't paid support in four months.  He was visibly jacked up, stammering, talking really fast.  Wearing a suit coat five sizes too big, different color dress pants....and flip flops.  He looked and sounded like a bum on crack.  We introduced into evidence that he had stolen my wife's portion of his retirement as outlined by the divorce decree by cashing it out, spending it, and not telling her - outright theft.  He got on the fucking stand and was questioned by our attorney and the judge.  He proudly announced, when asked, that not only did he smoke weed, he had driven down through Colorado and bought and used it legally, and "I have the receipt in my pocket!"

When asked by the judge if he used weed in Wisconsin where he lives, he replied "oh no.....when I'm at home, I do K2 and Spice, because they are totally legal!"
Everyone here in AZ knows the guy that shot Gabby Giffords was on Spice when he did it.  It makes people fucking wacko.
The judge then asked him if, as a DOT truck driver, he was subject to drug testing.  His response was "yeah, they forced me to do it when I got hired".  He spoofs the tests with a whizzinator.  Even thought we have no evidence, you would think his admitting to frequent drug use would seal the case.

The Judge refused to make his ruling at the end of the trial, instead he punted and said he would review the evidence and issue a ruling in 10 days.  I think the judge was scared to rule with the douchebag there in the courtroom.  The judge granted him "up to" his requested all-summer parenting time, denied all the other parenting time requests, made it so the kids set the travel dates and amount of time spent there, set his child support at the state mandated amount, and reduced it by $100 a month as a contribution by my wife to the travel costs.  Our attorney requested drug testing, but it was denied.  Our attorney's explanation was it's difficult to get it enforced when the other party is out of state, and judges are very reluctant to issue an order that they aren't in control of enforcing, and the ex has a history of non-compliance.  Further sanctions by the court would interfere with his job (child support) and his ability to exercise his parenting time, and the family court system, nationwide, sets the priority on doing everything they can to ensure the kids have access to both parents.  Character, drugs, insanity....none of it means anything to the court.  

You know I just want to raise my kids in a somewhat stable environment


due to the x I have been shot / stabbed / lost countless jobs / been homeless      

and i know she is a sociopath to the core but I am just tired of fighting  its litterally taken years off my life and I am so tired

ashamed to admit I am likely going to settle even though I know it's wrong

In.

I have found that occasionally my attorneys know what they are doing.  There have been times I wanted to bring up x, y and z, attorneys took my suggestion and then didn't bring anything up.  The more I understand how the system works, the more I see why they did that.  If the issue is taking kids across the state line without notifying the other parent, that has nothing to do with any issue the other parent has.  I know it feels like it would, but the fact of the matter is that is a separate issue.  You can get it addressed by filing a counter claim asking for something else, but you cant use it as an excuse for why you disobeyed a decree or order ect.  Attorneys don't look good when they bring up shit that has no bearing on the item in question.

I have tenants all the time who show up at my eviction hearings.  The judge asks them if they have paid rent and they say "no your honor, there is mold/he hasn't fixed x, the fridge doesn't work, blah blah blah"..   The judge has to explain to them that those are separate issues they could take me to court for, but they were still required to pay rent and my motions are granted.  If they would have had an attorney he would have kept them from spouting all the extra crap.  

Not saying your attorney isn't screwing up, Im just saying without a knowledge of how it works sometimes it only looks like he is screwing up.

I can admit when I am a ignorant ass


my liar ground down my X and probably got the best legal option I could get
morally it's not the best option  but the least of evils .......




it's better than another kids removed at gumpoint issue


In the end I can only do what I can and I have tried recently to prepare my girls for life the best my crazy ass could have

Substitution of counsel.

Learn what happened, what went wrong, do the best you can with where it is now, and in the future put what you have learned toward building a better case for change custody when new circumstances present themselves and if your children are young they most likely will.  

Bitching about spilled milk will not get anywhere.

I have practiced law over 20 years and this type stuff is exactly the reason I don't practice family law. Too much drama. Give me criminal court all day long.

OP either sit down and have a heart to heart with your lawyer and get on the same page or get a new lawyer that you can get on the same page with. It really is that simple. Your $4k is hardly a large fee for any decently talented lawyer in most parts of the country. It may be perfectly adequate for what you want to do and it may not. Hash it out in person with your attorney.

ETA: I know some lawyers that are but don't know any really good litigators that are "timid pussies" if you hired the guy you must have liked him at some point...sort of the same as with your ex-wife. You had a couple of kids with her maybe she is just sudden onset crazy and was miraculously not crazy before the first child, second child.....but experience tells me this is unlikely.

lawyers are like the snakes that they milk to make anti-venom, they should be kept in a sealed case until they are needed and then handled carefully so as not to get bitten.

I don't know how you lawyers do it.

I would fucking shoot myself if I had to deal with that relationship bullshit on a regular basis.

"You two don't like each other any longer.............then get a fucking divorce without all the fucking drama and then shut the fuck up."

a agree , that would have been the appropriate time to open the sealed container.

 

Snorting blow off of bus station toilet seats?

yep exactly that

 You're lawyer's way of telling you that he's pussy and afraid to confront the other lawyer.  Time for you to get a new lawyer!

So, was sticking your dick in the crazy worth it?

FPNI.