I wouldn't know anything about what dick smells like lol

Going home to the SO smelling like strange cologne isn't a very smart move. At least I wouldn't think it would be.

Fucking glitter.  It's the genital herpes of craft supplies. I banged this girl in the back of my car back before I was married. She did the whole glitter thing. Six years later I'm married and getting a new car there's STILL glitter in the backseat.

Early day strippers start at 4 or 6. Night strippers around 9-11. So afternoon late afternoon

This!      Vegas is likely the exception to the rule, rather than a norm.  Around here they come w meth habits, two kids and drama

Do the vajazzles fall off on the treadmill?

do u actually believe that ?

Yes but what do they do with their a**hole before their shift?

 

Around here they flock to the nearest motorcycle based neighborhood social group. I guess some of the guys are really embracing the SOA way

liver damage and cancer



 

Looks like its time to dust out Dan's How To Date a Stripper post.

1. Find a decent strip club.
2. Go to said strip club once or twice a week, slow days and off hours are better. Stay away from weekends when they are busy.
3. Make friends with the bar tenders, waitresses, DJ, and bouncers. Tip them well. Request songs. Generally just fuck around.
4. Don't get a lap dance
5. Don't tip the strippers.
6.Don't Fucking Tip The Strippers.  If you give them money you are just another skeevy guy.
7. Ignore the girls, don't even watch the dances. Watch TV or talk to the bar staff.

After a short while you have made yourself a semi regular patron. But you aren't some skeevy perv looking to buy into the hype and pay for pussy.

You have been making friends with the bar staff and DJ, and tipping them well.  The dancers have seen this. Now they want to know wtf is your deal.

When the girl gets bored because its slow she will come sit down. Talk to her, but ignore her tits, hell semi ignore her. There are other girls and you don't give a fuck.

8.make friends with the dancers.
9. If you run out of smokes, bum off the girls.
10. Some time around here you will start to be invited to parties or be handed phone numbers. Now your in.



A few sub points.  If you end up in the club with your buddies, never buy your own lap dance. Buy some for your friends. Either from girls you are friends with, or ask waitress to get him a dance from "the ugliest girl in the room". If your buddy buys you a dance, accept it, but don't tip extra.

At some point you will be at a table with a couple of girls hanging out, the old pervs will be watching but not tipping. The girls will bitch. Pull out a couple of bucks. Put em in your teeth and lay on the stage. (Bonus if you can get some of the girls to do it with you) this will get the old pervs to start spending. It cost you a few bucks but the girls are now making money, and think you are awesome.

Also some.clubs have rules about dancers dating patrons, and a lot.of girls have scruples about it. You can use this to your advantage. They won't tell each other they are sleeping with you.


And remember a relationship with a stripper has a time limit, learn it and abide by it. Don't date one for too long or it will go sideways fast.

addendum:


When a stripper grabs your phone and puts her number in it, look at it. If its her "work name" delete it, and let her see you do it. When she gives you shit tell you "that's not your real name" and roll your eyes.

Not too shabby, Dan.

Mineral oil or so I've been told.

 

I put a lot of time and "work" into developing that

And it's excellent strategery.

This came up in another thread but its worth mentioning here.

Rule number 1 with strippers:

Never give them money.

Rule number 2

Never give them money

Rule number 3

Never buy them anything.





Trust me, she makes more than you, let her pay her own way

So, that glittered 19 year old harlot gave you her phone number last week. And you are going to call her.

Your goal is to get an idea of her schedule.  You want to plan you "date" almost right after you get off work, and either on her off night or several hours before he goes into work.

Don't make solid plans over the phone.

Best idea is to "figure it out when you get there"

After work grab some food for yourself so you have no reason to take her out to dinner.

Try yo get there about 15-20 minutes early.

Don't walk in with a plan, let her figure it out. Try to do whatever you would be doing by yourself, or whatever she would be doing by herself.  

If you get there early there is a high probability she will be watching a movie or playing video games, awesome that us exactly what you want to do.  Shit she may even cook for you, or order a pizza.  With any luck you won't ever leave her apartment.

I was a bouncer at a couple of clubs in my younger days....the above poster knows whereof he speaks...he's a student of the art...good luck with the VD thing though...
its like roulette....in some strains it's Russian roulette.

Strippers don't work out to stay skinny, that is why they use meth and cocaine.

So. Doc. Is stripper cooch scary like that?

 

The last stripper I "dated" admitted to being a carpet muncher and needed about a g of coke to get started, I eventually told her to call the bullpen

Having assisted in a fair share of labial abcess lancings and pelvic STD exams, I can corroborate that info.