It greatly depends on the car, but I think a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth are often just like any other newfangled thing "nobody needs".
In my 2009 Tacoma, the ABS and traction/stability control were very obtrusive, and the ABS was a little scary on snow/ice. You can do a lot on the threshold before ABS kicks in, but if it does you're in for a long ride on ice and very slick surfaces. If I was in 4WD, traction control wasn't really even an issue getting going in snow, though.
However, my 2012 4Runner does far better with its traction control and ABS. Not very obtrusive at all, but full-time 4WD probably makes a difference. A few weeks ago, stability control may have even saved my life--definitely a bad accident.
I've never had the opportunity to use it, but apparently A-TRAC is the way to get yourself out of a sticky mess, and it's a computer-controlled feature. My Taco didn't have it, and the 4Runner hasn't been in any fun yet.