Has there even been a call about a cat stuck in a tree?

If you have any tales to share, please tell them.

Woman called because a raccoon was in her yard.

From a previous thread.

Disoriented squirrel on the sidewalk.

Old lady called because her cable TV stopped working.

Old man called to report that his neighbor cut his lawn, and then the wind blew overnight, and blew the neighbor's grass clippings all over his driveway. Wanted me to cite the neighbor for trespassing and littering, but also wanted me to make the neighbor come over and sweep his driveway.

How about tow truck drivers? I did lockouts every day. Sometimes a call comes in as a priority, meaning something like a baby locked in the car or some such thing. These calls get bumped to the top.

So I get a priority call for a lockout in the parking lot of a grocery store. Trying to get more info on the nature of the priority, it turns out this lady's dog is locked in the car and he's eating all the ice cream.

I'll never forget the lady who wanted someone to take her kids. Like they weren't ungovernable or bad.  She said she just didn't want kids anymore.  Not frustrated.  Not needs a break. Like she was mid 30s kids were 10 and 12 and she said she no longer wanted children.  DFACS came through and whenever I hear of women going crazy and drowning their kids in the tub...I kinda shiver when I remember that one.

When I was a volunteer FF, I remember hearing a page for a cat in a tree a couple of times.  Always made me chuckle.

Girl claimed rape so she wouldn't get in trouble for not coming home by her curfew time. She even went through the whole rape victim procedure at the hospital. How much money and time do you think was wasted for the investigation?

BTDT
ACS to the "rescue".


BTDT too.

rabies?

We used to get the cat in the tree calls, and I remember one of the old timers telling the caller the cat would come down when it was ready.  She wanted to know how he was so sure, and he replied "You ever see a cat skeleton in a tree?"

We used to get a frequent flier who we a) stopped on the way to the ER, driving like a fool, his explanation was that he was cleaning his glasses.  With Windex, still on his face. b) Neighbors called because he was driving his van up onto the sidewalk and plowing into a dog house he had just bought.  Why?  "It's not to spec!, It's not to spec!" Turns out it was short 5/8 of what he thought it would be, since 2 x 12s are not really 2 x 12.  Thing was like a scud bunker, by the time he hit once or twice he did twice as much damage to his toyota van as the dog house cost. c) He weighed in about 325, had a girlfriend who was bigger than him, and had crutches.  They would ride around on his old Honda 360 (which was a sight in itself) but he would pull up next to the quarter panel of a car at a red light, hit the trunk lid and claim they ran into him.  "Give me money or i'll call the cops"  Did it to the wrong person one time, and we roll up and just sat there for a few minutes and watched the guy chase him around the car till he ran out of steam!

I had a family call 911 because they saw dust come out of the air vent. They locked themselves in the closet.

Kid was being threatened through Call of Duty MP.

I saw a squirrel rolling around on a run, play dead then run up a tree, fall out of the tree, run around the tree then to the bottom and was chewing on a plastic baggie, the bag was full of crack and the squirrel had been eating it. Everyone was too busy laughing at the squirrel to pay attention to the pt that we were called for that was a bs run anyway.

Panic attack after cable went out.

Wanted to know if hospital we were taking her to had cable TV in their rooms.

Party not feeling well

We get there. The patient is an elderly woman who presents absolutely no signs of any medical condition whatsoever. They tell us that she has Alzheimer's, which is why she just smiles at us when we ask questions. LOL in NAD. We ask the family what happened. They tell us the woman doesn't feel well. We're supposed to try to find out what's happening, in case she had a stroke or a heart attack or, you know, something that explains why they called 911.

"She needs to go to the hospital."
"Why does she need to go the hospital?"
"She's nauseous."
"Why did you call the ambulance for her?"
"We didn't want her to vomit in the car."

At fire one afternoon we(Tower) are dispatched to a residential area for a public service.  When we pull up there a a bunch of people standing around a massive oak tree.  Caller comes up to my door (driver) and tells me her parrot got away from her while she was cleaning it's cage and flew up 100+ feet into the tree.  She fully expected us to set up the tower and get her bird.  LT laughed and called animal control.

Another shift on the Rescue Engine we get dispatched to a residence for a EMS assist.  Medic unit has a large female with her foot and ankle stuck in a air conditioning vent.  Arrive on scene to find a 500lb woman with her kankle stuck in the floor.  She stepped on the vent and it gave way.  Sawzall got it out, cut the duct a foot below her toes then removed the whole assembly and pried it off.  Got a refusal and returned to service.

Older man reporting his neighbors were beaming lasers into his house controlling his belongings. He wanted the cops to sleep there to confirm it.





Caught a friend's uncle with a drugged out, freaking out hooker in a seedy motel room, post drug binge. If this ever happens to you and your hooker, don't ask the EMTs if you know anyone local, close to your EMTs age, just keep your mouth shut.





Man's edema'd scrotum caught in toilet at local nursing home. Nurse didn't want an ambulance, just wanted his nuts out of the toilet. I toned it out as a rescue, and said exactly what it was on the air. I got laughs for a week outta that one.



ETA i forgot about the 400 pound dude that died fucking a hooker way out in the woods. He keeled over, and she ran to the nearest house a mile away and called, we get there, go 1/4 mile into the woods to get him. By that time, he's mr purple head, and when the medics get there they tell us to work him. After 20 minute tx, we get to the hospital and the dr asks us why we worked him. "The medic told us to". I saw his obituary a few days later, he was a singer in the church choir, was a family man, etc. The hooker ended up getting pinched for possession of crack.

I've been a paid professional firefighter/EMT for 22 years. I have 21 years 364 days worth of stupid calls


Cats in trees...check
Cats in drain pipes...check
Garage door won't open....check
Garage door won't close....check
Sewage backing up into bathtub....check
Headache....toothache....heartache.....check, check and check
It's 3:00am and I'm thirsty, bring me a glass of water and oh by the way since you're here would you turn my fan on for me too?....check



roy d....our fellow Americans suck at life. Truly.

This thread delivers.

Walked in to a residence for a medical response. I found the unit crew (amberlamps monkeys) standing around a lady on all fours barking at a box fan.

I asked how long had she been doing this. They answered, "since we got here."

I asked how long did they plan on letting her do it. They answered, "you should see what she does for those cookies on the counter."

I hope you laughed and said no.

 

Ninety nine percent of calls are dumb, because they are a result of dumb people doing dumb things.

(Skinny dude with probably a broken orbital and nose) - I got assaulted.
- What happened?
- I saw a fight outside a bar and I ran over there with my girlfriend to break it up and they all turned on me.  This one guy punched me in the face.
- And what did you do after that?
- I fell to the ground in the fetal position to protect myself. Then they all started kicking me until I passed out.
- And your girlfriend?
- I dunno.
(Looking at a preppy girl with a swollen cheek) - Maam what happened?
- While my BF was getting beat up, I tried to help, but this guy ran up, punched me in the face and took my purse.
- Can you tell me what they looked like, and which way they went?
- Nope

Repeat 87 times per night.

99% of them.

We had a chick ask us to take her to a particular hospital to be put into rehab. She really just wanted a ride to the are where she could sell her ass on the street, and had done so the day before, too.

What about the granny at 0200 calling for a full arrest. Ya get there with an engine and a unit to find 18 cars in the driveway, only to find out that she stubbed her toe

at 0930 the previous morning.

This thread needs a "like" button.

I had two prostitutes call because the John was trying to "muscle fuck" them.  The DA wouldn't take any charges so I negotiated at partial refund for the guy. She made change by pulling a rubber full of money out of her snatch and counting out half the original payment.

Woman called 911 because a hot air balloon landed in her yard. She wanted it checked on because she thought it was suspicious.

Got banged out for a guy with a foam object lodged up his rectum. Get there and this lady in her 60's comes outside and says, men will play. I'm like oh hell no not this guy. Anyway go inside and this old guy 70 something looking like the Gordons Fishermam is ginglerly stepping down the stairs in terry  cloth robe. Said him and the Mrs. spent the last 2 hours trying to get it out. We put him in the bus and laughed our ass off.

Is this what retirement is about?

I'm retired now after 31 years.



Our official policy on cats in trees is...nope.  But we go out every single time. Good PR.  I've pulled literally dozens and dozens of cats out of trees.



I once had a call for anaphylactic  shock.  Get to the apartment and there I find a 300 lb'er propped up on the couch, face swollen and puffy, eyes swollen almost shut and with obvious wheezing.  In her left hand is an epi pen, next to her right hand is a bowl of peanuts.  



She had injected her epinephrine prior to our arrival.  She stated that she was allergic to peanuts but just loved them so much!  



I don't understand people.

That's my kind of woman.

My dispatcher sent me to a house for an unknown trouble investigation. Mom answers the door and says her husband is out of town on business and her 15 year old son would not go to bed It's a school night, 10:30pm.
I figured I could explain why I couldn't do anything, or I could solve the problem so she wouldn't call us all night. I asked where the boy's room was and mom showed me.
I threw the door open, told the kid he was busting curfew and to go to bed. The little bastard almost had a heart attack, said yes sir and went to bed.
When I got back in my car it took me a few minutes to stop laughing so I could call back in service.

Most of them are dumb calls.  My most memorable;

1.  Lady needed a ride to see her doctor.  There were hundreds of birds flying free in the house.
2.  Girl said dog scratched her earlier in the day and she was worried about rabies.  This was at 2am.  She had no visible wound.  My partner got on her pretty good.
3.  One lady wanted to know if we could change her oxygen tubing.

Some good ones:  Guy run over by car while driving a gocart in the rain.  His legs looked like spaghetti.  Flew him out.  

Another guy was drunk and went through a picket fence, pickets in his car, and one in his face.  Didn't fly him, weather was bad, took him to nearest facility and started bilateral 14ga IVs, Ringers and Saline.

Had a call where a guy was stabbed in the gut by his sister's boyfriend, saw his guts protruding out some, watched him die enroute.

Lady shot in face, she lived, her husband stabbed in back, knife sticking out, tip of blade close to aorta.  Both lived.  Man cut in half when car flipped, his torso thrown from car.  His legs burned up in the car.  He looked as though he was asleep on the ground.

Some dead kids, including a few that hit the side of a car going 60mph.  They were DRT.

FREAKIEST ACCIDENT I EVER SAW:  One guy riding a four wheeler on correct side of road, but at night, no working headlamp.  Another guy riding a KDX enduro on LEFT side of road, no working headlight.  They hit each other.  Bikes were mangled together, both of them not wearing helmets.  Their heads hit, felt like holding a container filled with broken porcelain.  Both DRT.  Later, had to transport the dad of one of them, he had an MI at 3am, five hours after the accident.  Elevated ST, the whole shebang.  He lived.

Guy blew much of his face off after killing his kids.  He lived.

Many MVAs, rollovers with dead and dying, some not hardly a scratch.  

Motorcycles hitting fixed objects and moving cars.

Saw a guy hit by a race car while we were posted up at a track. He lived but he was messed up really bad.

Saw a few different teens that committed suicide. One of them hanged himself with a belt, one of those woven belts.  The impressions in his neck, I can still see the pattern in my mind.  Got him back due to a ton of epi using escalating dose, but he finally died.

Good.

dispatch " respond to suspicious activity call, comp states there are cars driving up and down 4th street....."
dispatch "comp at (whatever address) states that there is a boat in the water in front of her home and their laughter is disturbing her peace...."
dispatch " welfare check, comp states that there has been a child in a parked car for the last 30 minutes......the parents are there with the child.....but the comp feels they are neglecting the child"




just a few

I've covered just about all the BS here.

However when I was new and working in Colorado we would post in the park and I would buy day old loafs of bread from the store to feed the ducks and squirrels. One day the medic I was working with at the time took a few pieces of bread and spritzed them with nitro spray. Threw them out into the grass and within minutes there were close to 30 passed out Canadian geese on the bike path. They woke up about a minute later stumbling around and quacking excessively. I worked with some sick fucking people.

HAHA, that's rich.

The squirrel that took a piece ran up a nearby tree and sat on a branch about 10 feet up. We watched him start to nibble on the bread and he stopped about 5 seconds in. It just froze, bread in hand, tail twitched. I swear to god you could see the eyes dilate and it fell out of the fucking tree and hit the grass with a small thump. 40 seconds later it stumbled awake like a drunken hobo and ran for the bush across the park road.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

One of those small oriental paper ones, I hope?

 

Dumb calls?

Cops - No question, the naked crackhead whose old man smoked all their crack. When asked what she wanted us to do, she replied, "I wants my money, or I wants my crack."

I tried throwing their TV out the window. (My partner stopped me.) So, I told them that they were banned from 911, and if they ever called again for anything they'd be arrested.


Fire - Busy ass night, get a call for drunk about two blocks away. Guy's drunk as shit, but he refuses aid and walks off. Twenty minutes later, drunk on the sidewalk, about a block away from the first location. Same dick, different corner. Still refuses aid.

Another twenty minutes later, call for male assaulted, about a block away from the first location. Finally had an excuse to pawn him off on EMS.

Three o'clock in the morning, February, bitter cold, get a call for a water leak. Little old lady had water coming through her ceiling. How long's the water been leaking, ma'am? About two, three days.


Dumbest thing I personally ever did on a call, was on the cops. Radio run for an EDP. (Emotionally disturbed person.) Family tell us he's off his meds, and he's in the back bedroom.

I go moseying down the hall, thinking about how I'm gonna convince EMS he's a voluntary, because I don't want to have to sit on him at at the hospital.

I walk into the bedroom, "Hey, Mr... eep." Sitting at the foot of the bed is a very large, stark naked black dude... holding a fucking butcher knife as long as my forearm. Doh!

Backed out of the room so fast, my partner walked into me. Now we're in the hall, guns drawn, kind of peeking around the door frame.

"Mr. So-and-So, any reason you got that knife?"

"KKK's outside the window." (Oh shit.)

"Well, we're here now, and we got guns. If you put the knife down, I could chase them off for you."

"Okay." Throws the knife on the floor. <Whew>

Know how they say "Complacency Kills"? They ain't lying.

(After checking outside the window, I determined that the KKK had, in fact, fled the scene, prior to our arrival.)

Had a guy get passed out drunk at his friends house, friends decided to shove a curtain rod up his ass. Showed up to ER with it still in. Rescue had to cut it down to be able to maneuver him

Worked EMS in Brooklyn for four years....

Call for a "stuck condom." Upon arrival an obese woman met us outside her building. Told us her and her boyfriend were going at it when the condom came off and she couldn't get it out. She said she was "reaching up in there" and her fingernails were "cutting" her. She asked me if I would try. I declined, ushered her into the ambulance and drove her two blocks to the hospital.

Got a call from the ER waiting room at one hospital from a family that didn't want to wait and wanted to go to a different hospital.

Called for the same little baby I took to the hospital for a high fever six hours earlier.

Called for an unknown condition but the call taker stated "someone's hurt" at an apartment. Upon arrival we found a hamster who bit a kid and the kid spiked it like a football breaking the little hamster's back mid torso. The mom called for the kid's hamster bite. The poor little hamster wasn't moving its rear legs.  

And the one I saw with my own two eyes. Call for a guy who stuck his dick into a two liter soda bottle and was masturbating with it. Junk got engorged and became stuck and cyanotic. ER doc cut it off with a ring cutter.

I had a guy call 911 one night because his TV, phone, and internet weren't working, and 911 was the only number he could call.  I called him and told him to pay his bills, and that if he called 911 for that shit again I would charge him with misuse of emergency services.

Guy called because he was worried that the african american, male prostitute that he hired from Craigslist was lurking outside of his house, post buttsechs.

So which poor rookie got stuck sitting on him at Woodhull?

Woodhull, Brookdale, or Coney Island?

Extorris... I'm insulted. He went... voluntarily.