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Posted: 7/23/2014 7:39:39 PM EDT
TLDR? FUCK OFF!

So yesterday I had to drive from the port of entry at Calexico to Paso Robles for work. Paso Robles is about bottom of the middle of the central coast for those of you who don't know.  Its a 6 1/2 hour, 430 mile drive according to Google but its  really an 8 or 9 hour drive if you like eating and pissing occasionally and if you only get stuck in some of LA's traffic.  In short, its a long fucking drive.

But! That's not what's got me pissed at my pinko commie pantywaist nanny police state.  What's got my knickers all twisted is my state's JBT"s.  Especially our governor's own highway Nazis, the brown shirted California Highway Patrol. Yup. The CHP.  Ponch and John.  Fuckers.

So what did they do to you Grumpy? you ask.

Well I'll fucking tell you what they fucking did and you too will be as outraged as I am.

So there I am hauling ass down the grapevine into the central valley.  The grapevine is Interstate 5 between LA and Saint Cesar Chavez' sacred stomping grounds, the great central valley.  The grapevine is fast and steep and a great place for an eager young revenue generator to camp out with his government car and his government laser and pick off inattentive motorists for a proper wallet emptying.    So here's my using gravity and the massive power of my 3.3 litre V-6 Nissan power plant to fly through the Tejon (pronounced Tehone for you non-multicultural anti-Spanish language bigots) Pass and an ungodly and entirely illegal number of miles per hour over the posted legal speed limit.  As I reach the bottom of the hill, what do I see but Ponch Law sitting on the side of the road staring at me through the scope on his precision sniper speed laser.  I was caught. Dead bang fucked. Here I am with visions of traffic court and ridiculous fines bouncing through my head! I had a massive adrenaline dump and the only reason I didn't immediately blade at 45 was that my little pick up truck really sucks at drifting at freeway speeds.  Anyway, here I am dead to rights this young brown shirt's quota filler and what does this inconsiderate little prick do?  Nothing. Absolutely nothing.  What am I paying this fuck's salary for if he's just going to sit there while scofflaws like me scoff at the law right in front of him?  Fuck. I want a refund on my taxes if they ain't going to be spent keeping me safe from me.

So I am left with no choice but to continue on my merry way.  Only 2 1/2 more hours of hard driving ahead of me before I can reach Paso Robles and a well earned, if guilty, rest.

Except now I am armored with the sure knowledge that I have fought the law and the law conceded the fight.

When the GPS said turn left and go west not so young man, I went left.  (does this count as a pun since I'm writing about California?) Before you know it I'm in Grapes of Wrath territory. Nothing but grapes and rolling grazing land as far as a wrathful Okie's eye can see.  Suddenly I felt a disturbance in the force.  A chill tremor ran through me and I realized that I was approaching the James Dean memorial grease spot in the road.  Yet again I was motoring at an entirely illegal speed and yet again flying down a hill with a nice police hiding curve in the road at the bottom.  Once again I saw yon Freeway JBT giving me the stink eye through his speed laser of death. Once again I was pinched. Once again I was completely ignored.

What in the name of all that is right and good and law and order is going on here.  Twice in one trip I broke the speed laws and put my life and the lives of my fellow travelers in dire jeopardy and twice escaped rightful sanction.  Twice my employees, and officers of the revenue generating arm of the state, I mean law, failed to take my money.  

How can I continue to defend my beloved socialist utopia in the face of such failure by the states organs?

I can't.

I hereby seriously consider renouncing my California citizenship so that I can move to a free state where I will be properly chastised and maybe even jailed for reckless driving for driving 5 miles over the speed limit.


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 7:42:01 PM EDT
[#1]
Those lazy bastards!



I say we fire them all!!!

       
 
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 7:44:43 PM EDT
[#2]
tl;dr
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 7:49:46 PM EDT
[#3]
That settles that. I am moving to CA.


No, I'm not.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:02:44 PM EDT
[#4]
We jumped ship in 2006. That's a bad place to speed. My BIL worked the grape vine before working in SLO for CHP.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:05:55 PM EDT
[#5]
I hate my pinko commie hellhole of a state too, but it sounds like it'd be just right for you.  Get a speeding ticket, which they will give you, mail it in with a guilty plea, pay the $300 fine, $90 of which is the "court surcharge" because your plea by mail paper sits in court with an attorney while you're not there.  Then you get another ticket which you pay, then the DMV sends you a "driver responsibility assessment", in which they fine you another $300 because you got tickets.  They fine you for getting tickets which you were fined for!  Good times here man, you should definitely fo!
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:09:46 PM EDT
[#6]
8/10. Not enough fucks
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:13:58 PM EDT
[#7]
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:14:55 PM EDT
[#8]
If I had to choose between an all expenses paid week vacation  in CA or having my legs broken, I'd have to think about it.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:16:16 PM EDT
[#9]
I live in the valley and drive up and down the state quite a bit. Radar detector......don't get on the freeway with out it. Yes 8 out of 10 alerts are fake or interference, but it's saved me more times than I care to mention.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:17:26 PM EDT
[#10]
didn't convince me to move there.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:19:51 PM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
We jumped ship in 2006. That's a bad place to speed. My BIL worked the grape vine before working in SLO for CHP.
View Quote


You've got to love a freeway that's so steep the truck speed limit is 35mph & there are 2 runaway truck ramps in 10 miles. They've done tons of work on the James Dean killer. Most of it is a fast & safe 4 lane with a real center divide now.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:22:13 PM EDT
[#12]
fuck commiefornia
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:23:02 PM EDT
[#13]
In the entire time I lived in CA, I was never once pulled over for speeding. CA Police tend to have better things to do I think, like chasing gangbangers and arresting real criminals.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:26:46 PM EDT
[#14]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I live in the valley and drive up and down the state quite a bit. Radar detector......don't get on the freeway with out it. Yes 8 out of 10 alerts are fake or interference, but it's saved me more times than I care to mention.
View Quote



I stopped traffic today to save a very large and assumingly older paint slider turtle that was trying to cross the road slowly from certain death. I stopped everything...the whole line behind me... and my truck was the shield.  I moved him off he road quick and other drivers behind me saw what I was doing and high fived as they passed..

Bet that would not happen in LA though. Or hell, any of CA for that matter.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:28:00 PM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
In the entire time I lived in CA, I was never once pulled over for speeding. CA Police tend to have better things to do I think, like chasing gangbangers and arresting real criminals.
View Quote


Same here. That's why I drive around shit faced all of the time. No worries..
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:28:45 PM EDT
[#16]
You have been ripped off.   I can fix that for you.

On your way back, take hwy 33 to the 166.  Send me  PM when your close and I will have some of my JBT's give you a whale of a ticket.  If your really feeling cheated let them know and they will give you a complimentary tasering complete with a WWW flying LEO take down move that will make you feel young again.  

Eta:  we just want to restore your faith.....
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:29:52 PM EDT
[#17]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



I stopped traffic today to save a very large and assumingly older paint slider turtle that was trying to cross the road slowly from certain death. I stopped everything...the whole line behind me... and my truck was the shield.  I moved him off he road quick and other drivers behind me saw what I was doing and high fived as they passed..

Bet that would not happen in LA though. Or hell, any of CA for that matter.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
I live in the valley and drive up and down the state quite a bit. Radar detector......don't get on the freeway with out it. Yes 8 out of 10 alerts are fake or interference, but it's saved me more times than I care to mention.



I stopped traffic today to save a very large and assumingly older paint slider turtle that was trying to cross the road slowly from certain death. I stopped everything...the whole line behind me... and my truck was the shield.  I moved him off he road quick and other drivers behind me saw what I was doing and high fived as they passed..

Bet that would not happen in LA though. Or hell, any of CA for that matter.


You would be wrong. I've run over many a turtle and gotten high fives from passing motorists.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:31:53 PM EDT
[#18]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You have been ripped off.   I can fix that for you.

On your way back, take hwy 33 to the 166.  Send me  PM when your close and I will have some of my JBT's give you a whale of a ticket.  If your really feeling cheated let them know and they will give you a complimentary tasering complete with a WWW flying LEO take down move that will make you feel young again.  

Eta:  we just want to restore your faith.....
View Quote


I've been in your city. No offense but its kind of oily and not very pretty.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:32:42 PM EDT
[#19]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


I've been in your city. No offense but its kind of oily and not very pretty.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
You have been ripped off.   I can fix that for you.

On your way back, take hwy 33 to the 166.  Send me  PM when your close and I will have some of my JBT's give you a whale of a ticket.  If your really feeling cheated let them know and they will give you a complimentary tasering complete with a WWW flying LEO take down move that will make you feel young again.  

Eta:  we just want to restore your faith.....


I've been in your city. No offense but its kind of oily and not very pretty.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


Boy, don't I know it, that sulfur smell never gets old......
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:33:02 PM EDT
[#20]
The speed traps are on Old (and maybe new) 99. But, I always take my foot off the gas going down the Grapevine.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:33:36 PM EDT
[#21]
And you can have this fucked up state!  Orders outta here in a year for me!  Back home to NC.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:34:59 PM EDT
[#22]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


You have been ripped off.   I can fix that for you.



On your way back, take hwy 33 to the 166.  Send me  PM when your close and I will have some of my JBT's give you a whale of a ticket.  If your really feeling cheated let them know and they will give you a complimentary tasering complete with a WWW flying LEO take down move that will make you feel young again.  



Eta:  we just want to restore your faith.....
View Quote
Hey, I want to be tasered!



 
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:47:54 PM EDT
[#23]
For some reason, your first few sentences told me that this was a gag.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:49:15 PM EDT
[#24]
Next time you make that trip, stop for a fine dinning experiance at the Dennys at the bottom of the hill. I put the wires in that store 20 some years ago and as far as I know It has not burned down.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:54:26 PM EDT
[#25]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
For some reason, your first few sentences told me that this was a gag.
View Quote


Its because I mentioned Calexico isn't it?

It really happened just the way I wrote. Honest. Really.


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 8:55:05 PM EDT
[#26]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


You have been ripped off.   I can fix that for you.



On your way back, take hwy 33 to the 166.  Send me  PM when your close and I will have some of my JBT's give you a whale of a ticket.  If your really feeling cheated let them know and they will give you a complimentary tasering complete with a WWW flying LEO take down move that will make you feel young again.  



Eta:  we just want to restore your faith.....
View Quote
Please post dashcam vid. For proof and shit.....

 
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:04:31 PM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Its because I mentioned Calexico isn't it?

It really happened just the way I wrote. Honest. Really.


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
For some reason, your first few sentences told me that this was a gag.


Its because I mentioned Calexico isn't it?

It really happened just the way I wrote. Honest. Really.


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


So whats wrong with Calexico, besides being a shithole and (wild guess here) 115 degrees in the shade yesterday?
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:13:49 PM EDT
[#28]
Antburner .....

Seriously, driving through the Central Valley isn't the same without Okie Frijole...
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:14:31 PM EDT
[#29]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


So whats wrong with Calexico, besides being a shithole and (wild guess here) 115 degrees in the shade yesterday?
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
For some reason, your first few sentences told me that this was a gag.


Its because I mentioned Calexico isn't it?

It really happened just the way I wrote. Honest. Really.


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


So whats wrong with Calexico, besides being a shithole and (wild guess here) 115 degrees in the shade yesterday?


Don't be such a Drama Llama. It was only 109.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:16:28 PM EDT
[#30]
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:20:58 PM EDT
[#31]
Your screen name is fitting.

Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:24:27 PM EDT
[#32]
The cop probably just thought you were an illegal immigrant.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:25:24 PM EDT
[#33]
I left CA about 25 years ago.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:29:48 PM EDT
[#34]
Got pulled over on the 10 by Cabazon last winter and handed the CHP my AKDL and said , sorry officer, not used to all this asphalt. He laughed and told me to have a nice day, no ticket!
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:30:06 PM EDT
[#35]
I remember driving over the Grapevine in the late 60's with my parents when I-5 was still being built.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo-B4d_h0LQ
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:32:34 PM EDT
[#36]
Californians  














Just kidding. We don't really want to eject you from the union.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:35:04 PM EDT
[#37]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


I left CA about 25 years ago.
View Quote




 
I took your place. thanks for the spot, bro!
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:38:05 PM EDT
[#38]
Same problem here in NV.
I'm flying down the freeway at 82 when its 65 and I get lit up by NHP.
He lights me up, I pull over, lower my windows, put the truck in park and hand over my DL, insurance card and registration.
He notices my USMC plates and the tattoo on my arm and asks me how long was I a Marine, who I served with, etc.
I tell him and he sees a handgun on my passenger seat, boxes of ammo, etc and asks me if I have any guns in the car.
"Three handguns, 2 rifles and a shotgun...I was writing a few articles this weekend and had to do some testing, pics, etc."
"OK Jarhead, 82 is a bit high, slow it down and take it easy."

Slacker
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:41:17 PM EDT
[#39]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Same problem here in NV.
I'm flying down the freeway at 82 when its 65 and I get lit up by NHP.
He lights me up, I pull over, lower my windows, put the truck in park and hand over my DL, insurance card and registration.
He notices my USMC plates and the tattoo on my arm and asks me how long was I a Marine, who I served with, etc.
I tell him and he sees a handgun on my passenger seat, boxes of ammo, etc and asks me if I have any guns in the car.
"Three handguns, 2 rifles and a shotgun...I was writing a few articles this weekend and had to do some testing, pics, etc."
"OK Jarhead, 82 is a bit high, slow it down and take it easy."

Slacker
View Quote


What?! No hooker in the truck with you? I am disappoint.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:44:42 PM EDT
[#40]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


I travel to Los Angeles a couple times a month to go to clubs/theaters driving the same east-west highways - the 91, 60, 10, and 210 and have no idea of the speed limits on any of them anywhere. I simply don't care.



I travel often and have to remember that in North Carolina 55 mph means 55 mph ... and in Georgia, Maryland, Oregon, Washington ....
View Quote
Maybe further east in the state. On my home stretch of I26 between SC and Asheville, I set my cruise on 79 every day to and from work. Speed limit is 65. Pass the NCSHP multiple times a week...no fucks given in over 4 years.



As a side note, have never in 11 years been pulled over or given a ticket for anything less than 17 over in my AO. Maybe our JBT's are lazy.



 
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:54:14 PM EDT
[#41]
The OP wonders why he wasn’t stopped ?
Well
When you don’t know how to dive from so-cal to Paso and you’re rockin a gay jap mini truck … most road nazis will take pity on you

Now if it was gaydar day ..........................

Link Posted: 7/23/2014 9:57:31 PM EDT
[#42]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


What?! No hooker in the truck with you? I am disappoint.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Same problem here in NV.
I'm flying down the freeway at 82 when its 65 and I get lit up by NHP.
He lights me up, I pull over, lower my windows, put the truck in park and hand over my DL, insurance card and registration.
He notices my USMC plates and the tattoo on my arm and asks me how long was I a Marine, who I served with, etc.
I tell him and he sees a handgun on my passenger seat, boxes of ammo, etc and asks me if I have any guns in the car.
"Three handguns, 2 rifles and a shotgun...I was writing a few articles this weekend and had to do some testing, pics, etc."
"OK Jarhead, 82 is a bit high, slow it down and take it easy."

Slacker


What?! No hooker in the truck with you? I am disappoint.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


What can I say it was Monday morning....
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 10:08:36 PM EDT
[#43]
Bastards got me for 96 in a 60. All my base was belong to the CHP.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 10:15:12 PM EDT
[#44]
I like you
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 10:18:00 PM EDT
[#45]
What were you doing in Mexicali?
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 10:22:15 PM EDT
[#46]
Did you go throuhg Cholame? That's where James Dean died in a car accident. I have a picture somewhere on a funsaver that I need to get developed.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 10:22:54 PM EDT
[#47]
Quoted:
TLDR?]
View Quote






Link Posted: 7/23/2014 10:23:09 PM EDT
[#48]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
What were you doing in Mexicali?
View Quote


I got close (10') but didn't have to descend into that next lower level of hell.
Haven't been in Mexicali since Thanksgiving 1986. That was a hangover worthy of song. Very quiet song.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 10:24:23 PM EDT
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If I had to choose between an all expenses paid week vacation  in CA or having my legs broken, I'd have to think about it.
View Quote


Have you ever been to CA or are you just shit talking the state like a lot of people that have never been there? I don't live in CA anymore but I still go and visit several times a year.
Link Posted: 7/23/2014 10:24:58 PM EDT
[#50]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Did you go throuhg Cholame? That's where James Dean died in a car accident. I have a picture somewhere on a funsaver that I need to get developed.
View Quote


Hence the James Dean memorial grease stain reference.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
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