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Posted: 7/22/2014 11:02:30 AM EDT

So yesterday evening I left about 8 or 9 cigarettes in a pack on my patio table. I went in the house and got busy on the phone.


My dog commenced barking by the patio door, but I figured it was a cat or an armadillo or something and told him to chill.


I took my dog out to piss about dark...and there was only one cigarette left in the pack...and kid-sized footprints in the mud off my patio.


Cigarette thievin' neighbor kids.  


I'm contemplating a trap....any ideas?


Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:03:02 AM EDT
[#1]
Ricin
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:03:16 AM EDT
[#2]
A fence?
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:03:42 AM EDT
[#3]
Roll your own with floor sweep





My uncle did that when he worked at a gas station in the good when he was 17.
Hoodlums would trash the store, so he made some dubies out of floor sweep and dropped then on the ground near the gas pump.

Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:03:44 AM EDT
[#4]
The only answer is a ricin cigarette.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:04:37 AM EDT
[#5]
Dip end of cig. in dog 'stuff'.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:05:00 AM EDT
[#6]
Just let your dog out when he barks.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:05:07 AM EDT
[#7]
get a fresh pack, pee on them, let them dry a few days then leave them out
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:05:45 AM EDT
[#8]
If you have any novelty and practical joke shops nearby, they make these little explosive charges you can slip into the end of a cigarette.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:06:10 AM EDT
[#9]
Don't ignore your dog.



Unless he barks at his own shadow.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:06:16 AM EDT
[#10]
Pee on the cigs and let them dry. Put back in pack and leave on patio. Hand them a note a couple days after cigs are taken. Profit.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:06:30 AM EDT
[#11]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Ricin
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Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:07:05 AM EDT
[#12]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Ricin
View Quote


Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:07:55 AM EDT
[#13]
   Kids gonna be kids old man.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:08:17 AM EDT
[#14]
At least they left you one

Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:08:19 AM EDT
[#15]
Game Camera, identify kid(s), find parents, beat parents senseless.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:09:02 AM EDT
[#16]
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:09:14 AM EDT
[#17]
Lady fingers.

I did that to my dad once when I was a kid.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:12:14 AM EDT
[#18]
Put a small drop of dish soap on the tobacco end and leave a few where they can get them.  Just one of those will cure them from coming back for more.  
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:12:31 AM EDT
[#19]
One guy I know put cigarette loads in a pack and left it out for the thief. That was pretty amusing, especially since the thief had been caught before and put up a stringent denial.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:14:45 AM EDT
[#20]
Pungie Sticks only way to do it.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:15:34 AM EDT
[#21]
Kids being kids, but, yeah, I'd be pissed too.  I'd leave a pack out after I found a way to lace them with vinegar or pepper or something else safe, but nasty.

Haha, is there any danger associated with smoking distilled white vinegar?
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:16:08 AM EDT
[#22]
Fill one up with pistol powder
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:16:47 AM EDT
[#23]
A couple grains of gunpowder in the end of cigarette, tamp tobacco back in lightly.  Look for kid next day with bright red nose or no eyelashes.

Or, buy an instamatic 35 mm flash camera (standard wedding guest variety) from your local drugstore, strip the board out, charge the capacitor, remove the battery, and lay it next to the pack of cigarettes.  Stand by for hilarity as they try to swipe both.  They'll ground out on the board and eat about 300 volts without being (permanently) harmed.  Problem solved.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:17:07 AM EDT
[#24]
Maybe pepper spray the filter end. That should be funny to watch and cure the problem.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:17:09 AM EDT
[#25]
Remove about half of the tobacco from cigarette.
Place crack in cigarette.
Replace enough tobacco to make cigarette look normal.
Buy your neighbor's flat-screen tv from his now crack-addicted kid for 20 bucks.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:17:12 AM EDT
[#26]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Kids being kids, but, yeah, I'd be pissed too.  I'd leave a pack out after I found a way to lace them with vinegar or pepper or something else safe, but nasty.



Haha, is there any danger associated with smoking distilled white vinegar?
View Quote
Never tried it, but the ricin dish soap sounds plausible.



 
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:17:17 AM EDT
[#27]
In before you get arrested for supplying cigarettes to a minor during the course of this sting operation.  
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:17:27 AM EDT
[#28]
Kid did you a favor.

Quit smoking.


__________________________________________________________________
Cross-platform electronic bound book (original thread). PGP public key.
«nolite confidere in principibus, in filiis hominum quibus non est salus»
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:18:15 AM EDT
[#29]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Remove about half of the tobacco from cigarette.

Place crack in cigarette.

Replace enough tobacco to make cigarette look normal.

Buy your neighbor's flat-screen tv from his now crack-addicted kid for 20 bucks.
View Quote
There's a thought.



 
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:20:43 AM EDT
[#30]
Not that I would do this or recommend it, and urge you NOT to try such a thing, but blackcat firecrackers fit perfectly inside a smoke.  You've got to empty the smoke about 3/4 of the way, cut the fuse down to nothing, insert into the cigarette, then pack the tobacco back on top so it looks 'normal'. A few puffs and everything is fine until 'BAM!'    



Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:21:55 AM EDT
[#31]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


get a fresh pack, pee on them, let them dry a few days then leave them out
View Quote




 
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:22:47 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:


I'm contemplating a trap....any ideas?

View Quote

Yes, don't smoke.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:23:47 AM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Kid did you a favor.

Quit smoking.


__________________________________________________________________
Cross-platform electronic bound book (original thread). PGP public key.
«nolite confidere in principibus, in filiis hominum quibus non est salus»
View Quote


I was wondering how long it would take for common sense :)
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:26:08 AM EDT
[#34]
He left you one...

Whats the problem?
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:26:46 AM EDT
[#35]
I was out on my parents' porch smoking one night and happened to walk around the side of the house where the RV gate was. Imagine my surprise to see a nicely shaped female ass sticking out of the back sliding window of my dad's pickup. It was some teenage meth head stealing smokes that he always left in his truck.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:26:49 AM EDT
[#36]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


I was wondering how long it would take for common sense :)
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Kid did you a favor.

Quit smoking.


__________________________________________________________________
Cross-platform electronic bound book (original thread). PGP public key.
«nolite confidere in principibus, in filiis hominum quibus non est salus»


I was wondering how long it would take for common sense :)


You guys take the fun out of everything...
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:27:08 AM EDT
[#37]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Ricin
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WOW that fast....nice
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:27:20 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted:
I went in the house and got busy on the phone.

View Quote


Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:27:42 AM EDT
[#39]
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:35:33 AM EDT
[#40]
Whatever you do, game camera so you can ID them in case they try to get you back.





Also, FPNI
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:38:09 AM EDT
[#41]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If you have any novelty and practical joke shops nearby, they make these little explosive charges you can slip into the end of a cigarette.
View Quote


I did this a few times to my Chief in the Navy.
To say he wasn't please would be an understatement.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:39:04 AM EDT
[#42]
Buy a pack of unfiltered Camels and leave them around.



Apply some hot pepper sauce or get one of those hot ass peppers and rub around the filter but not on the end of the filter. Cinnamon oil will do the same but it can cause serious allergic reactions.  
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:45:14 AM EDT
[#43]
WINNER!
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:54:07 AM EDT
[#44]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Just let your dog out when he barks.
View Quote

Thats what I do. Either it scares em or the problem is really solved.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 11:59:53 AM EDT
[#45]
Ghost pepper cigarette. Poison sumac cigarettes after that.







(do not attempt)
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 12:10:38 PM EDT
[#46]
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 12:13:07 PM EDT
[#47]
Your dog is a smoker.
Link Posted: 7/22/2014 12:14:29 PM EDT
[#48]

Link Posted: 7/22/2014 12:17:18 PM EDT
[#49]

Link Posted: 7/22/2014 12:19:19 PM EDT
[#50]
You guys are way too vindictive with the gunpowder.

We would chop up a rubberband and pull and repack a cigarette with the little bits mixed in.

It's like standing behind a dragster on a 1/4 mile. Except it's directly on your tongue.

Small, but extremely potent and safe.

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