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Posted: 8/26/2014 9:43:45 PM EDT
[#1]
Been there, done that.
There is a whole new life out there. It is not going break down your door and drag you out. You at least have to buy a ticket. It will be better than before, guaranteed. |
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Posted: 8/26/2014 9:50:13 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Of fury talking about me?  Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Pics and/or vid or  Of fury talking about me? Of your date. |
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Posted: 8/26/2014 10:00:44 PM EDT
[#3]
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Of your date. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Pics and/or vid or Of fury talking about me? Of your date. His dad tried to get me drunk 
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Posted: 8/26/2014 10:09:28 PM EDT
[#4]
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Just met for a late lunch. She did smell nice. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I had a date yesterday. With a real girl. Did she smell nice? What did you do? Just met for a late lunch. She did smell nice. Do the same thing again and again until you get your confidence back. It's a numbers game and SHE is out there looking for YOU too. |
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Posted: 8/26/2014 10:15:19 PM EDT
[#5]
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Moving some stuff in today. I am a wreck. Worried about being alone. Ya know...when I got divorced I was pretty scared. During my entire marriage I never shopped I never paid any bills (the wife did all of those things) I remember the first time I went grocery shopping in years it was pretty traumatic because part of me kept thinking that the Wife was going to scream and throw things at me. It will take a while to get used to being independent again My first year went by in a blur...had trouble remembering stuff and thinking clearly. But don't worry, you will gradually come out of your shell and heal. Join a Gym and workout, Start a new hobby, learn a new language and/or religion (I studied Judaism and learned Hebrew and Aramaic) Just take it easy, right now you are very vulnerable emotionally and women will pick up on that like a shark smelling blood and go in for the kill. DO NOT go out for a while. DO NOT LET SOME GAL start to shoehorn you into marriage by dropping a lot of hints. Women are almost always the first ones who want to get into marriage and the first ones who want out. (I wonder why...Alimony? Community Property Laws?) I spent years dating after my divorce, and I dated an awful lot of women and most of them (about 85%) were just after money and benefits. They weren't interested in me as a person, only in what I have. Don't Date for about a year or two after your divorce. Just let yourself heal. |
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Posted: 8/26/2014 10:32:12 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Need some help.. I don’t know how to get over this. Everything reminds me of her, my heart aches when I think of her, and I feel lost without her. I just don’t understand how someone can walk away from 12 years of marriage, how someone can "move on” so fast. I am a freaking wreck, and yet none of this seems to bother her. I have been trying to wrap my head around this, and keep coming up blank. I am not going to call her to talk about it as there is no point in doing so. For some of you who have gone through this, how did you get to the point where you were able to move on, and start being happy with your lives? What can I do to ease this transition? I was with my ex-wife for 8 yrs. I thought everything thing was good, I treated her right and went above and beyond to take care of her family. Then one day she checked out and moved on, just like that. About a year after it was over she wrote me a letter, telling me what a big mistake it was but she realized the bridge had been burnt. Look at this way, she probably did you a favor. Don't beat yourself up and do not over-analyze, sometimes you just can't figure people out. |
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Posted: 8/27/2014 3:24:46 AM EDT
[#7]
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Pics and/or vid or Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I had a date yesterday. With a real girl. Did she smell nice? What did you do? Just met for a late lunch. She did smell nice. are you talking about me?Pics and/or vid or Never ask Poke for pics. |
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Posted: 8/27/2014 3:31:26 AM EDT
[#8]
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Never ask Poke for pics. ain't that the truth. 
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Posted: 8/27/2014 3:52:41 AM EDT
[#9]
Quoted:
No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy.  Well then, that's all women, including those somewhere between a relationship. The mythical perfect woman (as judged by any social group, like ARFCOM) really doesn't exist, and one size doesn't fit all. But if you really have to have a woman to complete you, they're out there. |
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Posted: 8/27/2014 5:02:10 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: His dad tried to get me drunk Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Pics and/or vid or Of fury talking about me? Of your date. His dad tried to get me drunk |
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Posted: 8/27/2014 5:05:48 AM EDT
[#11]
Meh, it could be worse. You could be like me, and not know how to be in a relationship
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Posted: 8/27/2014 5:26:38 AM EDT
[#12]
25 year old, hit the bars
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Posted: 8/27/2014 5:49:07 PM EDT
[#13]
Have another date tomorrow night, with the same gal whom I went out with the other day.
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Posted: 8/27/2014 5:53:30 PM EDT
[#14]
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Gym. This. Work the serotonin off with some weights. You'll look better, think better, and be better. Then you're going to be the chick magnet. Give it time. BTDT. |
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Posted: 8/28/2014 6:46:51 AM EDT
[#15]
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Have another date tomorrow night, with the same gal whom I went out with the other day. 
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Posted: 9/7/2014 6:31:57 AM EDT
[#16]
Gal friend zoned me pretty hard....ah well, what are ya gonna do?
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Posted: 9/7/2014 7:08:44 AM EDT
[#17]
Started painting last week, living room and stair well is painted. Next step is a bathroom.
Still feels not quite right at the house. Been living for me and even took a couple week vacation, it was nice but I still had to come back and deal with this mess of a life of mine. Trying to figure out all of this is really difficult, and it makes it even harder when I clean and try to get everything together at the house. Painting and new furniture are beginning to happen now, but it still feels like the same place. Spending as much time away from home as possible is expensive but it seems the only thing that really helps. I still think that I may need to seek out someone to talk to about this, as I am finding it extremely difficult to move on with my life.
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Posted: 9/7/2014 7:09:33 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Gal friend zoned me pretty hard....ah well, what are ya gonna do? Don't expect just to move on instantly. That is not going to happen. Just like any major life change, it's going to take some time. There will be good days and bad days, but the good days will increase in number as you go.  |
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Posted: 9/7/2014 7:11:15 AM EDT
[#19]
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1 down...2,999,999,999 to go Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Gal friend zoned me pretty hard....ah well, what are ya gonna do? Pretty much....I still have a package to send to you. I just need to get it to the post office.
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Posted: 9/7/2014 7:12:07 AM EDT
[#20]
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Gal friend zoned me pretty hard....ah well, what are ya gonna do? Not her, apparently. 
Hang in there Bud, more to life than women. |
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Posted: 9/7/2014 7:13:31 AM EDT
[#21]
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Not her, apparently.
Hang in there Bud, more to life than women. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Gal friend zoned me pretty hard....ah well, what are ya gonna do? Not her, apparently.
Hang in there Bud, more to life than women. I know....truth be told, I am not even bothered by it. I already said I am not looking for a relationship. I am just searching right now, and I don't even know what the hell I am looking for. |
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Posted: 9/7/2014 7:26:49 AM EDT
[#22]
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I know....truth be told, I am not even bothered by it. I already said I am not looking for a relationship. I am just searching right now, and I don't even know what the hell I am looking for. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Gal friend zoned me pretty hard....ah well, what are ya gonna do? Not her, apparently.
Hang in there Bud, more to life than women. I know....truth be told, I am not even bothered by it. I already said I am not looking for a relationship. I am just searching right now, and I don't even know what the hell I am looking for. Time brother, time. And painting is a good start. After that, look around the house, pick something to remodel . Bite off a project that seems too big for you . I kept my house when my wife of 14 years left, but I have kids and I felt it important to keep the place they knew as home. I'm still in it , and while having to fix shit gets old sometimes, it gives a sense of accomplishment. I redid my kitchen on my own a couple of years ago. Moved water lines , the whole shebang . Instead of spending the money being away from home, spend that money making it the perfect home for you. Best of lucky buddy, BTDT, wouldn't want to do it again, but it is possible to come out the other end of this . |
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Posted: 9/7/2014 7:32:57 AM EDT
[#23]
Nothing wrong with a bar skank to drain yer tank.
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Posted: 9/7/2014 7:41:01 AM EDT
[#24]
Women are boring.
They need attention and praise and -shudder- affection. You need to live like you're in a wacky 80s teen sex comedy like Hard bodies. Like the teacher on magic schoolbus says...get your hands dirty, experiment, make mistakes. |
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Posted: 9/7/2014 11:12:53 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Started painting last week, living room and stair well is painted. Next step is a bathroom. Still feels not quite right at the house. Been living for me and even took a couple week vacation, it was nice but I still had to come back and deal with this mess of a life of mine. Trying to figure out all of this is really difficult, and it makes it even harder when I clean and try to get everything together at the house. Painting and new furniture are beginning to happen now, but it still feels like the same place. Spending as much time away from home as possible is expensive but it seems the only thing that really helps. I still think that I may need to seek out someone to talk to about this, as I am finding it extremely difficult to move on with my life. I hate to be a nag, but you're avoiding facing what's fucking you up. That what a pro is for.
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Posted: 9/7/2014 3:51:04 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I hate to be a nag, but you're avoiding facing what's fucking you up. That what a pro is for. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Started painting last week, living room and stair well is painted. Next step is a bathroom. Still feels not quite right at the house. Been living for me and even took a couple week vacation, it was nice but I still had to come back and deal with this mess of a life of mine. Trying to figure out all of this is really difficult, and it makes it even harder when I clean and try to get everything together at the house. Painting and new furniture are beginning to happen now, but it still feels like the same place. Spending as much time away from home as possible is expensive but it seems the only thing that really helps. I still think that I may need to seek out someone to talk to about this, as I am finding it extremely difficult to move on with my life. I hate to be a nag, but you're avoiding facing what's fucking you up. That what a pro is for. Not nagging at all, I know that I am. 
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Posted: 9/15/2014 7:25:16 AM EDT
[#27]
So...it's been a week or so since I've posted up any updates.
Something strange has happened to me, I don't know what to call it, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For some sill reason this overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness has enveloped me, I don't know what to make of it. I am back in my house now, changing things up one room at a time. My life seems to be stabilizing, I am figuring this stuff out one breath at a time as well. Between work, gym, taking care of stuff around the house and my friends I have been pretty busy. I have decided that I don't want to ruin my good mood by getting involved with anyone right now, and that I just want to enjoy this bizarre good mood that I am in. I'll keep this thread going, as I appreciate any advice that I can get. I have listened to most of what people have been posting up in here and have taken it to heart. Like I said, i'll post up periodic updates as time warrants. Thanks again, Fury. BTW.....I know that I need to talk to a pro, I haven't done that yet as I fear my employment will be in jeopardy because of it, it's probably a warrant-less fear, but it is a fear none the less. |
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Posted: 9/15/2014 7:31:39 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So...it's been a week or so since I've posted up any updates. Something strange has happened to me, I don't know what to call it, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For some sill reason this overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness has enveloped me, I don't know what to make of it. I am back in my house now, changing things up one room at a time. My life seems to be stabilizing, I am figuring this stuff out one breath at a time as well. Between work, gym, taking care of stuff around the house and my friends I have been pretty busy. I have decided that I don't want to ruin my good mood by getting involved with anyone right now, and that I just want to enjoy this bizarre good mood that I am in. I'll keep this thread going, as I appreciate any advice that I can get. I have listened to most of what people have been posting up in here and have taken it to heart. Like I said, i'll post up periodic updates as time warrants. Thanks again, Fury. BTW.....I know that I need to talk to a pro, I haven't done that yet as I fear my employment will be in jeopardy because of it, it's probably a warrant-less fear, but it is a fear none the less. That's awesome! I'm glad you're feeling better! FWIW, post divorce counseling doesn't set off any red flags as far as "the crazy" goes. It's normal and doesn't imply you're on head meds or anything. |
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Posted: 9/15/2014 7:32:45 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: So...it's been a week or so since I've posted up any updates. Something strange has happened to me, I don't know what to call it, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For some sill reason this overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness has enveloped me, I don't know what to make of it. I am back in my house now, changing things up one room at a time. My life seems to be stabilizing, I am figuring this stuff out one breath at a time as well. Between work, gym, taking care of stuff around the house and my friends I have been pretty busy. I have decided that I don't want to ruin my good mood by getting involved with anyone right now, and that I just want to enjoy this bizarre good mood that I am in. I'll keep this thread going, as I appreciate any advice that I can get. I have listened to most of what people have been posting up in here and have taken it to heart. Like I said, i'll post up periodic updates as time warrants. Thanks again, Fury. BTW.....I know that I need to talk to a pro, I haven't done that yet as I fear my employment will be in jeopardy because of it, it's probably a warrant-less fear, but it is a fear none the less.  |
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Posted: 9/15/2014 7:40:46 AM EDT
[#30]
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That's awesome! I'm glad you're feeling better! FWIW, post divorce counseling doesn't set off any red flags as far as "the crazy" goes. It's normal and doesn't imply you're on head meds or anything. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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So...it's been a week or so since I've posted up any updates. Something strange has happened to me, I don't know what to call it, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For some sill reason this overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness has enveloped me, I don't know what to make of it. I am back in my house now, changing things up one room at a time. My life seems to be stabilizing, I am figuring this stuff out one breath at a time as well. Between work, gym, taking care of stuff around the house and my friends I have been pretty busy. I have decided that I don't want to ruin my good mood by getting involved with anyone right now, and that I just want to enjoy this bizarre good mood that I am in. I'll keep this thread going, as I appreciate any advice that I can get. I have listened to most of what people have been posting up in here and have taken it to heart. Like I said, i'll post up periodic updates as time warrants. Thanks again, Fury. BTW.....I know that I need to talk to a pro, I haven't done that yet as I fear my employment will be in jeopardy because of it, it's probably a warrant-less fear, but it is a fear none the less. That's awesome! I'm glad you're feeling better! FWIW, post divorce counseling doesn't set off any red flags as far as "the crazy" goes. It's normal and doesn't imply you're on head meds or anything. I am assuming that my happiness and euphoria is actually a tumor pushing on my brain.
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Posted: 9/15/2014 7:41:50 AM EDT
[#31]
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I believe GD is considered at least semi-pro in terms of relationship and general life advice. You're in good hands.
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Quoted:
So...it's been a week or so since I've posted up any updates. Something strange has happened to me, I don't know what to call it, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For some sill reason this overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness has enveloped me, I don't know what to make of it. I am back in my house now, changing things up one room at a time. My life seems to be stabilizing, I am figuring this stuff out one breath at a time as well. Between work, gym, taking care of stuff around the house and my friends I have been pretty busy. I have decided that I don't want to ruin my good mood by getting involved with anyone right now, and that I just want to enjoy this bizarre good mood that I am in. I'll keep this thread going, as I appreciate any advice that I can get. I have listened to most of what people have been posting up in here and have taken it to heart. Like I said, i'll post up periodic updates as time warrants. Thanks again, Fury. BTW.....I know that I need to talk to a pro, I haven't done that yet as I fear my employment will be in jeopardy because of it, it's probably a warrant-less fear, but it is a fear none the less.
Semi-pro has the word pro in it....if it's good enough for GD it's good enough for me.
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Posted: 9/15/2014 12:01:18 PM EDT
[#32]
Im glad I stumbled across this thread today. Another same story post. Turning 33 in a couple days and the wife and I are goin thru a divorce after 6 years of marriage w/ no kids. I've had a lot of the same issues as you, OP. Lonely, don't even really know where to start with the whole 'moving on' thing. The past few days, though, I've really started looking at the bright side and the 'I can do whatever the fuck I wanna do now' part of this (not to mention the part where I can have fun with 20-something's again
 ) and things are at least starting to look a lot better. It's still gonna take time but this thread has helped me with some ideas of where to go from here. I've been saying that I'm gonna start goin to the gym for 16+ years now. I think its about time I actually did it! I hope your good feeling sticks around and keep us posted.
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Posted: 9/15/2014 4:50:27 PM EDT
[#33]
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Im glad I stumbled across this thread today. Another same story post. Turning 33 in a couple days and the wife and I are goin thru a divorce after 6 years of marriage w/ no kids. I've had a lot of the same issues as you, OP. Lonely, don't even really know where to start with the whole 'moving on' thing. The past few days, though, I've really started looking at the bright side and the 'I can do whatever the fuck I wanna do now' part of this (not to mention the part where I can have fun with 20-something's again ) and things are at least starting to look a lot better. It's still gonna take time but this thread has helped me with some ideas of where to go from here. I've been saying that I'm gonna start goin to the gym for 16+ years now. I think its about time I actually did it! I hope your good feeling sticks around and keep us posted.Will do, there has been some great advice in this thread. I will continue to tap this plethora of knowledge as I continue on my journey. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 4:43:13 AM EDT
[#34]
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I hate to be a nag, but you're avoiding facing what's fucking you up. That what a pro is for. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Started painting last week, living room and stair well is painted. Next step is a bathroom. Still feels not quite right at the house. Been living for me and even took a couple week vacation, it was nice but I still had to come back and deal with this mess of a life of mine. Trying to figure out all of this is really difficult, and it makes it even harder when I clean and try to get everything together at the house. Painting and new furniture are beginning to happen now, but it still feels like the same place. Spending as much time away from home as possible is expensive but it seems the only thing that really helps. I still think that I may need to seek out someone to talk to about this, as I am finding it extremely difficult to move on with my life. I hate to be a nag, but you're avoiding facing what's fucking you up. That what a pro is for. Listen to her. She is the one that convinced me to talk to a pro after my divorce and it really helped. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 4:51:10 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So...it's been a week or so since I've posted up any updates. Something strange has happened to me, I don't know what to call it, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For some sill reason this overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness has enveloped me, I don't know what to make of it. I am back in my house now, changing things up one room at a time. My life seems to be stabilizing, I am figuring this stuff out one breath at a time as well. Between work, gym, taking care of stuff around the house and my friends I have been pretty busy. I have decided that I don't want to ruin my good mood by getting involved with anyone right now, and that I just want to enjoy this bizarre good mood that I am in. I'll keep this thread going, as I appreciate any advice that I can get. I have listened to most of what people have been posting up in here and have taken it to heart. Like I said, i'll post up periodic updates as time warrants. Thanks again, Fury. BTW.....I know that I need to talk to a pro, I haven't done that yet as I fear my employment will be in jeopardy because of it, it's probably a warrant-less fear, but it is a fear none the less. I have a job that frowns on that type of thing too. And they provide us with 6 paid visits to a pro if we call their helpline thing. I chose to get my own pro and avoid work finding out. They won't know if you don't tell them. Nobody at my work has any idea that I went. And it was a huge help. And the ups and downs are normal. Rollercoastering can be hard though. When you feel great it feels like you have broken through, but when you come back down it seems like you are farther down because of the fall. Talk to somebody, move through the stages, and then move on man. It takes some time, but things really do get better. I never thought that they would, but they do. I am honestly happier than I have ever been in my life. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 4:57:27 AM EDT
[#36]
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I have a job that frowns on that type of thing too. And they provide us with 6 paid visits to a pro if we call their helpline thing. I chose to get my own pro and avoid work finding out. They won't know if you don't tell them. Nobody at my work has any idea that I went. And it was a huge help. And the ups and downs are normal. Rollercoastering can be hard though. When you feel great it feels like you have broken through, but when you come back down it seems like you are farther down because of the fall. Talk to somebody, move through the stages, and then move on man. It takes some time, but things really do get better. I never thought that they would, but they do. I am honestly happier than I have ever been in my life. It's good to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The transformation has been a difficult one that is for sure. If you don't mind me asking, what was the breaking point where you decided that a professional was the right thing for you? Like you said, extremes of both ends of the spectrum. Really high highs, and really low lows. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 5:44:02 AM EDT
[#37]
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I have a job that frowns on that type of thing too. And they provide us with 6 paid visits to a pro if we call their helpline thing. I chose to get my own pro and avoid work finding out. They won't know if you don't tell them. Nobody at my work has any idea that I went. And it was a huge help. And the ups and downs are normal. Rollercoastering can be hard though. When you feel great it feels like you have broken through, but when you come back down it seems like you are farther down because of the fall. Talk to somebody, move through the stages, and then move on man. It takes some time, but things really do get better. I never thought that they would, but they do. I am honestly happier than I have ever been in my life. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
So...it's been a week or so since I've posted up any updates. Something strange has happened to me, I don't know what to call it, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For some sill reason this overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness has enveloped me, I don't know what to make of it. I am back in my house now, changing things up one room at a time. My life seems to be stabilizing, I am figuring this stuff out one breath at a time as well. Between work, gym, taking care of stuff around the house and my friends I have been pretty busy. I have decided that I don't want to ruin my good mood by getting involved with anyone right now, and that I just want to enjoy this bizarre good mood that I am in. I'll keep this thread going, as I appreciate any advice that I can get. I have listened to most of what people have been posting up in here and have taken it to heart. Like I said, i'll post up periodic updates as time warrants. Thanks again, Fury. BTW.....I know that I need to talk to a pro, I haven't done that yet as I fear my employment will be in jeopardy because of it, it's probably a warrant-less fear, but it is a fear none the less. I have a job that frowns on that type of thing too. And they provide us with 6 paid visits to a pro if we call their helpline thing. I chose to get my own pro and avoid work finding out. They won't know if you don't tell them. Nobody at my work has any idea that I went. And it was a huge help. And the ups and downs are normal. Rollercoastering can be hard though. When you feel great it feels like you have broken through, but when you come back down it seems like you are farther down because of the fall. Talk to somebody, move through the stages, and then move on man. It takes some time, but things really do get better. I never thought that they would, but they do. I am honestly happier than I have ever been in my life. I'm so glad you're feeling better. 
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:03:10 AM EDT
[#38]
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It's good to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The transformation has been a difficult one that is for sure. If you don't mind me asking, what was the breaking point where you decided that a professional was the right thing for you? Like you said, extremes of both ends of the spectrum. Really high highs, and really low lows. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I have a job that frowns on that type of thing too. And they provide us with 6 paid visits to a pro if we call their helpline thing. I chose to get my own pro and avoid work finding out. They won't know if you don't tell them. Nobody at my work has any idea that I went. And it was a huge help. And the ups and downs are normal. Rollercoastering can be hard though. When you feel great it feels like you have broken through, but when you come back down it seems like you are farther down because of the fall. Talk to somebody, move through the stages, and then move on man. It takes some time, but things really do get better. I never thought that they would, but they do. I am honestly happier than I have ever been in my life. It's good to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The transformation has been a difficult one that is for sure. If you don't mind me asking, what was the breaking point where you decided that a professional was the right thing for you? Like you said, extremes of both ends of the spectrum. Really high highs, and really low lows. Everybody says there is light at the end of the tunnel but it is very hard to believe it when all you see is the dark. I didn't believe people, but it is there. For me, the ups and downs were getting pretty bad and things got pretty dark for me for awhile. A couple people (BES and my brother the therapist) convinced me that I needed it. And they were right. It is not a weakness to get help. We all need help now and then. It helped me move through the grieving process and helped me move on. I had lost pretty much everything (except my job) at once and needed to rebuild my support structure as well. The best thing for me was joining a couple meetup groups (meetup.com has been a great thing for me). My therapist and my brother both recommended it to me. It is a national thing and has groups based on interest (backpacking, reading, prepping, social, etc...) that get together and do activites. Just getting out of my apartment and meeting people, getting active, and making friends was a huge help with me moving on. Good thoughts started replacing bad ones. Now every day is brighter and brighter. I have met the most amazing woman ever and I have smiled more in the last year than I have my whole life combined. Feel free to IM me if you ever feel like it or have questions. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:22:17 AM EDT
[#39]
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I'm so glad you're feeling better. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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So...it's been a week or so since I've posted up any updates. Something strange has happened to me, I don't know what to call it, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For some sill reason this overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness has enveloped me, I don't know what to make of it. I am back in my house now, changing things up one room at a time. My life seems to be stabilizing, I am figuring this stuff out one breath at a time as well. Between work, gym, taking care of stuff around the house and my friends I have been pretty busy. I have decided that I don't want to ruin my good mood by getting involved with anyone right now, and that I just want to enjoy this bizarre good mood that I am in. I'll keep this thread going, as I appreciate any advice that I can get. I have listened to most of what people have been posting up in here and have taken it to heart. Like I said, i'll post up periodic updates as time warrants. Thanks again, Fury. BTW.....I know that I need to talk to a pro, I haven't done that yet as I fear my employment will be in jeopardy because of it, it's probably a warrant-less fear, but it is a fear none the less. I have a job that frowns on that type of thing too. And they provide us with 6 paid visits to a pro if we call their helpline thing. I chose to get my own pro and avoid work finding out. They won't know if you don't tell them. Nobody at my work has any idea that I went. And it was a huge help. And the ups and downs are normal. Rollercoastering can be hard though. When you feel great it feels like you have broken through, but when you come back down it seems like you are farther down because of the fall. Talk to somebody, move through the stages, and then move on man. It takes some time, but things really do get better. I never thought that they would, but they do. I am honestly happier than I have ever been in my life. I'm so glad you're feeling better. Thanks. I literally walk around smiling all the time. I feel like I have been given a second chance at life and I am not going to miss out. Every ending provides an opportunity at a new beginning. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:32:22 AM EDT
[#40]
1: do what you want
2: buy what you want, or not buy what you don't want to buy 3: go where you want, when you want, for whatever reason you want 4: fuck who you want 5: watch what you want 6: sleep when you want 7: any questions? |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:36:44 AM EDT
[#41]
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1: do what you want 2: buy what you want, or not buy what you don't want to buy 3: go where you want, when you want, for whatever reason you want 4: fuck who you want 5: watch what you want 6: sleep when you want 7: any questions? pretty much this... At 46, I'd be hard pressed to enter into a full-time committed relationship again unless certain prerequisites were met (fit, has her own career/money, and has hobbies/interests)..... OP, glad you are feeling better about your life...being single rocks. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:37:36 AM EDT
[#42]
Just be yourself and have fun being single, go out go to the beach if close and do what you do normally.
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:45:24 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Just be yourself and have fun being single, go out go to the beach if close and do what you do normally. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:47:03 AM EDT
[#44]
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Not really good advice. Beating off and eating cheetos on a public beach actually carries a pretty stiff fine.
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Just be yourself and have fun being single, go out go to the beach if close and do what you do normally.
I'm in Nebraska...eating cheetos and beating off in a corn field sends the wrong message too. |
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:51:31 AM EDT
[#45]
Buying clothes is the easy part. Shop online at Cabelas and have them delivered to your basement door. Seriously, get out and join some clubs and meet people. As for the women having children at 35 it is the norm, so get over it.
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Posted: 9/16/2014 6:51:37 AM EDT
[#46]
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Instead of spending the money being away from home, spend that money making it the perfect home for you. These are pearls right here, embrace them!!! |
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Posted: 10/8/2014 11:42:02 PM EDT
[#47]
This has become an emotional rollercoaster....
Things took a strange turn for the surreal and strange. I have my ups and downs, this week has been trying for me. It seems that every time I start to pulll myself up by the boot straps and pull myself out this hole, something happens to push me right back in. WTF. |
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Posted: 10/8/2014 11:58:19 PM EDT
[#48]
go to thailand
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Posted: 10/9/2014 12:04:27 AM EDT
[#49]
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go to thailand Honestly....I have thought about selling everything that I own and buying a motorcycle and becoming a drifter.
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Posted: 10/9/2014 7:20:49 AM EDT
[#50]
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Honestly....I have thought about selling everything that I own and buying a motorcycle and becoming a drifter. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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go to thailand Honestly....I have thought about selling everything that I own and buying a motorcycle and becoming a drifter. You could sell the house, and buy a motor home. There's a HUGE community of people that move from campground to campground, National and State parks, and no longer pay property taxes. |
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