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People who love each other don't use sex as a weapon; it's that simple. Actually: They don't use anything as a weapon against the person they love.
If a man and woman love each other, the one that doesn't want sex as much should give it up willingly even if they don't feel like it. Reciprocally speaking: The person who wants it more often should also throttle back a little bit on their wants so as not to overwhelm the other. |
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TA-DA!!! Which is why I lament that being offered as advice handed out for turning on women. The ones it turns on are not ones any rational man wants any sort of relationship with, so offering it as relationship advice is ludicrous. Goes back to my original statement: it is a sad way to go through life. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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before my edit, but as I've pointed out, the good ones don't. So if your solution to turning women on is to reach for your wallet, you've already excluded the ones that won't tolerate that treatment from your prospective list of women. And the good men don't need to use their wallet. TA-DA!!! Which is why I lament that being offered as advice handed out for turning on women. The ones it turns on are not ones any rational man wants any sort of relationship with, so offering it as relationship advice is ludicrous. Goes back to my original statement: it is a sad way to go through life. The bottom line is, it's both sides. |
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He probably thought providing security was attractive. In an era of guns and welfare, it's free, so men providing security is a niche appeal, not a norm.
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that's hilarious! I know I'm going to take shit for this, but if a woman is going to deny sex, then she shouldn't be able to say anything if the husband picks up a rental on the side. View Quote Nothing wrong with having a stunt wife stand in when the top-billed wife won't act the part. She should understand that just because she's not giving it to him, doesn't mean he's not getting any. However, he should be prepared for the worst. This is not going to end well. Mid-twenties and traveling out-of-country, yet no spousal fun before leaving...not a good sign. The frigidity usually happens later than mid-twenties. There was no mention of children (talk about a mood killer, especially with three or more rugrats running around), so either she has someone else on the side, or there is significant weight gain by one or both spousal units. I agree with some of the earlier posts, it's time for him to eject. |
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I figure he's a toad in the sack, probably just gets his and falls asleep. I learned a long time ago that women are not tuned to our sexual clock, they need stimuli to be in the mood, and any slightest thing can shut their desire down. They key is subtle suggestions, and actions throughout the day. It's amazing how a kiss on the back of the next, or a simple compliment, can loosen things up at night or day. Sex should not be reserved for pre-bedtime rituals, that's where a woman can get in the no sex funk. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Pics of frigid bitch? Yay!!!! You get it. |
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Back when I was still married my Wife got on a plane and went to Taiwan for an entire summer and wondered why I never answered her emails or phone calls. By then...I was preparing for my divorce. Wiomen are like that: They use the denial or granting of Sex as a Tool for control.And the best way to beat is to be better at the game than they are. My ex-wife did the I didn't get my way so no sex for you trick twice. First time she held out three weeks and then asked me. My response was nope. She said why not. I told her point blank you said no sex until xyz happens. Ain't fucking happening, so no sex. She caved. About four years later she tried to pull the same shit and I responded the same way. They also weaponize the kids. Never getting married again. Not worth it. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Sounds like he was building a case for a divorce. He should have kept that document and share it with his lawyer if they were in a contested state. Kharn Back when I was still married my Wife got on a plane and went to Taiwan for an entire summer and wondered why I never answered her emails or phone calls. By then...I was preparing for my divorce. Wiomen are like that: They use the denial or granting of Sex as a Tool for control.And the best way to beat is to be better at the game than they are. My ex-wife did the I didn't get my way so no sex for you trick twice. First time she held out three weeks and then asked me. My response was nope. She said why not. I told her point blank you said no sex until xyz happens. Ain't fucking happening, so no sex. She caved. About four years later she tried to pull the same shit and I responded the same way. They also weaponize the kids. Never getting married again. Not worth it. |
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A fair point. Part of the give-and-take of marriage and the sexual exclusivity that traditionally accompanies it, is that in return for that exclusivity (and "forsaking all others"), the other partner takes on the responsibility to care for their spouse's physical needs/wants/desires. That's the other side of that double-edged sword. It's not rocket science. Men are simple creatures, and their care and feeding is summed up thusly: "Feed 'em, f*ck 'em, and don't nag 'em." The man, however, should have enough integrity to punch out of the relationship before picking up new partner. Adultery isn't an acceptable answer to a cold/frigid/indifferent spouse. As for spreadsheet-guy, I'll bet he got a "there's no problem in our marriage" or "I don't turn you down that often!" excuse... so he chose to document it. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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that's hilarious! I know I'm going to take shit for this, but if a woman is going to deny sex, then she shouldn't be able to say anything if the husband picks up a rental on the side. A fair point. Part of the give-and-take of marriage and the sexual exclusivity that traditionally accompanies it, is that in return for that exclusivity (and "forsaking all others"), the other partner takes on the responsibility to care for their spouse's physical needs/wants/desires. That's the other side of that double-edged sword. It's not rocket science. Men are simple creatures, and their care and feeding is summed up thusly: "Feed 'em, f*ck 'em, and don't nag 'em." The man, however, should have enough integrity to punch out of the relationship before picking up new partner. Adultery isn't an acceptable answer to a cold/frigid/indifferent spouse. As for spreadsheet-guy, I'll bet he got a "there's no problem in our marriage" or "I don't turn you down that often!" excuse... so he chose to document it. Call the guy passive aggressive all you want, but I bet this is exactly what happened. She kept cutting him off, he brought it up to her, and she shot him down with some BS excuse. I would almost bet they were in an argument about it when he chose to forward her the spreadsheet. She probably left that important detail out of the OP. |
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before my edit, but as I've pointed out, the good ones don't. So if your solution to turning women on is to reach for your wallet, you've already excluded the ones that won't tolerate that treatment from your prospective list of women. And the good men don't need to use their wallet. TA-DA!!! Which is why I lament that being offered as advice handed out for turning on women. The ones it turns on are not ones any rational man wants any sort of relationship with, so offering it as relationship advice is ludicrous. Goes back to my original statement: it is a sad way to go through life. The bottom line is, it's both sides. Agreed, but it's shitty relationship advice, and speaks volumes about the ones offering it and/or following it. As you just pointed out. Bottom line is, you choose to put yourself in that situation. No one forces you to reach for your wallet. Don't want to pay for it? Don't. Simple as that. The whores will seek their paycheck elsewhere, and you never have to play that game. |
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When she don't gives it, I takes it.
But seriously, my wife has never said no to sex. We must be in one of those strange loving relationships you hear about. |
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Didn't see anywhere on the spreadsheet where She initiated anything.
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Agreed, but it's shitty relationship advice, and speaks volumes about the ones offering it and/or following it. As you just pointed out. Bottom line is, you choose to put yourself in that situation. No one forces you to reach for your wallet. Don't want to pay for it? Don't. Simple as that. The whores will seek their paycheck elsewhere, and you never have to play that game. View Quote Yep. |
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Serious lack of problem solving.
I'd have no problem hosing her down with a power washer in the bedroom. Maybe light a candle or two. Women love that shit. |
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Lucky bastard was getting it three times a month.
When I was married it was three times a year on a good year. I didn't send her a spreadsheet. I sent her a letter explaining my position and requesting corrective action within a month or the marriage contract would be terminated. |
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The key to a happy, lasting marriage is the three Fs. Should be well fed, well financed and well fucked. If that is happening ain't nobody getting divorced. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Lack of sex will destroy a marriage. The key to a happy, lasting marriage is the three Fs. Should be well fed, well financed and well fucked. If that is happening ain't nobody getting divorced. I have seen marriages that meet all 3 of those and they still fail. Taking SO for granted or one of them still cheats. |
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A fair point. Part of the give-and-take of marriage and the sexual exclusivity that traditionally accompanies it, is that in return for that exclusivity (and "forsaking all others"), the other partner takes on the responsibility to care for their spouse's physical needs/wants/desires. That's the other side of that double-edged sword. It's not rocket science. Men are simple creatures, and their care and feeding is summed up thusly: "Feed 'em, f*ck 'em, and don't nag 'em." The man, however, should have enough integrity to punch out of the relationship before picking up new partner. Adultery isn't an acceptable answer to a cold/frigid/indifferent spouse. As for spreadsheet-guy, I'll bet he got a "there's no problem in our marriage" or "I don't turn you down that often!" excuse... so he chose to document it. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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that's hilarious! I know I'm going to take shit for this, but if a woman is going to deny sex, then she shouldn't be able to say anything if the husband picks up a rental on the side. A fair point. Part of the give-and-take of marriage and the sexual exclusivity that traditionally accompanies it, is that in return for that exclusivity (and "forsaking all others"), the other partner takes on the responsibility to care for their spouse's physical needs/wants/desires. That's the other side of that double-edged sword. It's not rocket science. Men are simple creatures, and their care and feeding is summed up thusly: "Feed 'em, f*ck 'em, and don't nag 'em." The man, however, should have enough integrity to punch out of the relationship before picking up new partner. Adultery isn't an acceptable answer to a cold/frigid/indifferent spouse. As for spreadsheet-guy, I'll bet he got a "there's no problem in our marriage" or "I don't turn you down that often!" excuse... so he chose to document it. I agree with this. It's hard on either gender to be turned down repeatedly for sex or intimacy. If one is going to look for other strange, they should end it. |
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Three times a month? That would be AWESOME! And a huge improvement over hearing "I'm tired" every damn night.
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I figure he's a toad in the sack, probably just gets his and falls asleep. I learned a long time ago that women are not tuned to our sexual clock, they need stimuli to be in the mood, and any slightest thing can shut their desire down. They key is subtle suggestions, and actions throughout the day. It's amazing how a kiss on the back of the next, or a simple compliment, can loosen things up at night or day. Sex should not be reserved for pre-bedtime rituals, that's where a woman can get in the no sex funk. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Pics of frigid bitch? you need a column of your own.. OTT...... |
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No kids? Good bye.
And I'm betting she is fucking someone else. |
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I don't think he literally asked for it. The article says those are all the times he tried to initiate. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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What, he asks if she will have sex with him? Rip her panties off and throw in bed Non-consent is best consent! If she doesn't want it, she won't open up for you, but she'll want it. What a fucking mood kill asking Mrs wife, may we have intercourse now? I don't think he literally asked for it. The article says those are all the times he tried to initiate. I know, I got called on the rape-sounding post and decided to go all in. |
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If he thinks that's bad, he should have waited until they had a few young kids. Both of us too tired. Both of us too tired. Both of us too tired. Both of us too tired. 10 minutes while Dora is on--did it standing up in laundry room with door locked. Both of us too tired. Both of us too tired. Both of us too tired. Kids at grandparents--caught up on violent shows on DVR, ate in front of tv, fell asleep. Both of us too tired. Both of us too tired. Hit it around midnight, kids wake up twice between midnight and 6 a.m., walk around like zombie next day. View Quote Damn! /thread |
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My first wife pulled a classic "bait and switch". Prior to marriage, I could have her when ever I wanted. Once we got married, the frequency dropped off like a rock falling off a cliff. I didn't even get any action with her on our wedding night. While I didn't keep a spreadsheet, I did make note of some of her responses. I'd write them real big using a sharpie on blank paper and put them up on the fridge. It has been many years but two responses I recall were "didn't we just do it yesterday" and "hurry up and lets get this over with".
The new wife is on the other end of the spectrum as she is always ready to go. She is kinda nutty in a good way. She keeps track on a calendar, but only for statistical purposes in her effort to keep my average up to 4 times a week. December of each year is always busy.
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Quoted: Spoken like a woman who doesn't understand her part in this drama, and probably never will. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: "This is a side of him I have never seen before,” she added. "Bitter, immature, full of hatred.” Spoken like a woman who doesn't understand her part in this drama, and probably never will. Or she's playing the victim card. |
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although I laughed like crazy
I did see that she has a set pattern she gives it up every 15 days... either thats as often as she desires sex or 14 days is how long it takes for him to wear her down |
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She does not seem to be real mature either. She deleted all her comments on the reddit article because she can't take criticism. She must have expected everyone to side with her. I have been in this situation and if you try to talk and they won't listen then you either get it somewhere else or eject. I chose to pull the handle and see where I landed.
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That sucks, bro. I've got $10 says, she's not that into him, and just "settled" because all her friends were getting married, and he was "safe." She thought she could just walk all over him forever. |
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Exactly how would that spreadsheet have helped him? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Sounds like he was building a case for a divorce. He should have kept that document and share it with his lawyer if they were in a contested state. Exactly how would that spreadsheet have helped him? In some states you can claim cause for a divorce based upon denial of affection. There have also been successful lawsuits brought against an adulterer in cases where alienation of affection have been proven. I don't believe that this works everywhere. But as with the ending of any contract, it is best to document everything. It may come in handy someday. |
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]I figure he's a toad in the sack, probably just gets his and falls asleep. I learned a long time ago that women are not tuned to our sexual clock, they need stimuli to be in the mood, and any slightest thing can shut their desire down. They key is subtle suggestions, and actions throughout the day. It's amazing how a kiss on the back of the next, or a simple compliment, can loosen things up at night or day. Sex should not be reserved for pre-bedtime rituals, that's where a woman can get in the no sex funk. Your screen name+sex advice= He's generally pretty correct, though. |
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Reminds me of something Swingset has pointed out on several occasions. Swingset has mentioned how men often can go through life oblivious to how they've been neglecting their wife and then act surprised when the embittered wife suggests divorce. Well, this situation sounds incredibly similar except with the genders reversed.
This particular wife has obviously neglected her spouse physically, and now as he essentially tells her why he is leaving her, she acts surprised that he is embittered over the way she has neglected him. Much like a neglected wife will often give her husband clues or reminders that he may be oblivious to, this husband has been giving his wife clues on a daily basis. Probability is pretty high that he only started documenting the rejections after prolonged neglect. Passive aggressive? Possibly, or it could just be that she was incapable of grasping the situation until he spelled it out on a spreadsheet. Anyway, just a very interesting gender reversal of what Swingset has so often described. |
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I feel for him. Im in the same boat at 26. The day I got married my wife stop trying at work so she cant hold a job, doesnt cook or clean worth a fuck, and stays up till 2 every morning so I seldom sleep with her much because I get up for work at 4. We get along great but she is lazier than a shoebox full of dog shit. View Quote you need to go. you have your whole life ahead of you, and you don't have kids yet. You don't have a lot of assets at 26, so you have little to lose financially. you need to go and get on with a good life. you "get along great" because your wife does nothing, and she's happy with that, so she doesn't bother you. |
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although I laughed like crazy I did see that she has a set pattern she gives it up every 15 days... either thats as often as she desires sex or 14 days is how long it takes for him to wear her down View Quote It took four pages for someone to notice this!! I call Exactly every ten "No's" down the page is a "Yes"! WTF over! Either wifey is playing mental games, or that's made up bullshit! I'm leaning towards the latter! It's just not random enough. And I agree that when the wife start making excuses sumthins wrong in the relationship! |
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100% chance she's having an affair. Lots of "I feel dirty" and "Need a shower" excuses, and very, very, very little sex for him. Girl in mid 20s get laid more than once per fortnight.
Her "business trip" may just be a vacation with the boyfriend. 7 year itch after 5 years or something. |
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Quoted: I figure he's a toad in the sack, probably just gets his and falls asleep. I learned a long time ago that women are not tuned to our sexual clock, they need stimuli to be in the mood, and any slightest thing can shut their desire down. They key is subtle suggestions, and actions throughout the day. It's amazing how a kiss on the back of the next, or a simple compliment, can loosen things up at night or day. Sex should not be reserved for pre-bedtime rituals, that's where a woman can get in the no sex funk. View Quote Didn't even look at the spreadsheet...I am guessing he likely kept one for every time she burned the meatloaf or forgot to dust. If your marriage is that messed up, GTFO like a man, don't be an adolescent and whine about how many times you were rejected.
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Agreed, but it's shitty relationship advice, and speaks volumes about the ones offering it and/or following it. As you just pointed out. Bottom line is, you choose to put yourself in that situation. No one forces you to reach for your wallet. Don't want to pay for it? Don't. Simple as that. The whores will seek their paycheck elsewhere, and you never have to play that game. Yep. + another one. |
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His wife was probably turned off by all the passive-aggressive bullshit. He sounds like a whimp.
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Sounds like he was building a case for a divorce. He should have kept that document and share it with his lawyer if they were in a contested state. Kharn Back when I was still married my Wife got on a plane and went to Taiwan for an entire summer and wondered why I never answered her emails or phone calls. By then...I was preparing for my divorce. Wiomen are like that: They use the denial or granting of Sex as a Tool for control.And the best way to beat is to be better at the game than they are. My ex-wife did the I didn't get my way so no sex for you trick twice. First time she held out three weeks and then asked me. My response was nope. She said why not. I told her point blank you said no sex until xyz happens. Ain't fucking happening, so no sex. She caved. About four years later she tried to pull the same shit and I responded the same way. They also weaponize the kids. Never getting married again. Not worth it. Good for you, my man. Be better at the game than them. Women who play the "ultimatum game" should be run into the ground with it. Goo |
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Did she ever ask him for sex? No. That in itself might be the problem. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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if you look at the spreadsheet...he pretty much asks her almost everyday for sex. my wife would say no if I asked everyday lol Did she ever ask him for sex? No. That in itself might be the problem. I think that he asked her every day, just to cover his bases; because he knew she was going to say "no" anyway. Remember, he was recording data from day one. Didn't want to appear that he was holding out or not interested. At some point, he probably didn't care anymore, but was just trying to drive a point home, so to speak. lol |
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People who love each other don't use sex as a weapon; it's that simple. Actually: They don't use anything as a weapon against the person they love. If a man and woman love each other, the one that doesn't want sex as much should give it up willingly even if they don't feel like it. Reciprocally speaking: The person who wants it more often should also throttle back a little bit on their wants so as not to overwhelm the other. View Quote Absofuckinglutely not. That is not love. |
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Women just don't need it as much(I know some guys will say my wife is a animal, and hey that's great for you) but from my experience the average woman doesn't need it as much as the average guy, its a age old problem, some guys have it much worse than others...but most of us have dealt with it to some degree in our lives.
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