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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:33:14 AM EDT
Daily Mail UK 28 May 2012
First Lady Michelle Obama has agreed to sponsor a future submarine named after her home state that will be staffed by an all-female crew. The White House has announced that Mrs Obama has accepted an invitation to be the backer of the USS Illinois, a Virginia-class submarine being built in Groton, Connecticut, and Newport News, Virginia. The new nuclear-powered boat is expected to join the fleet in late 2015. It will cost about $2.7 billion to build the USS Illinois. The boat is being constructed by Northrop Grumman Shipbuilding in partnership with General Dynamics/Electric Boat Corp., according to a Defense Department press release cited by the Chicago Tribune. When completed, the submarine will be 377 feet long, will weigh 7,800 tons and will be able to operate at more than 25 knots when submerged. In her role as a sponsor, the First Lady will be involved in the life of the submarine and establish a special relationship with the ship's sailors and their families. -end snip- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2151366/Michelle-Obama-sponsors-ALL-FEMALE-nuclear-submarine-named-home-state-Illinois.html 
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:35:06 AM EDT
[#1]
What, seriously?
It sounds like a Hollywood script. 
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:35:09 AM EDT
[#2]
It's going to have to be the biggest sub ever to house enough toilet paper for an all female crew.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:35:36 AM EDT
[#3]
 Oh that is going to be smelling horrible in a couple of weeks. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:36:01 AM EDT
[#4]
All female? That thing will crash sure as shit.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:36:03 AM EDT
[#5]
Do we really need another $2,700,000,000 submarine?
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:36:15 AM EDT
[#6]
Maybe superior officers will control the weapons systems 1 week out of the month while the sub is deployed?
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:37:57 AM EDT
[#7]
the USS Illinois, a Virginia-class submarine I had to re-read that, I thought it said a "virgin-class" submarine  
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:38:08 AM EDT
[#8]
Is this from The Onion?
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:38:15 AM EDT
[#9]
Gotta be fake.....the Navy would never agree to that!!!!!!!!
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:38:17 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
What, seriously? It sounds like a Hollywood script. I thought this was The Onion...
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:39:07 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
All female? That thing will crash sure as shit. Maybe, just maybe, they won't try backing it up
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:40:14 AM EDT
[#12]
When will we have an all transgender submarine?
I demand equality. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:40:27 AM EDT
[#13]
So when is it going to get backed into the pier?
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:41:05 AM EDT
[#14]
Something about chumming the water...
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:41:06 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
All female? That thing will crash sure as shit. Maybe, but they will have amazing sandwiches. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:42:13 AM EDT
[#16]
Two year old article...
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:42:18 AM EDT
[#17]
Largest can of sardines ever conceived by man.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:42:39 AM EDT
[#18]
Canned tuna!
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:42:57 AM EDT
[#19]
My god. If that crew gets synchronized and that boat doesn't stay in port 25% of the time, there will be no mercy on the high seas.
ETA: No seaman on board! |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:43:19 AM EDT
[#20]
If women aren't currently serving on subs, where will they find officers and CPOs to run the ship?
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:45:52 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe superior officers will control the weapons systems 1 week out of the month while the sub is deployed? It is a known fact that when females live with each other their times of the month sync up thus the whole crew will be having that week at the same time! |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:46:18 AM EDT
[#22]
in related news, every couple of weeks the Illinois pulls into random harbors and asks directions....
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:46:29 AM EDT
[#23]
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:46:54 AM EDT
[#24]
Uh, PCU Illinois (SSN-786) already has a crew.
It's CO is a guy. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:47:27 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's going to have to be the biggest sub ever to house enough toilet paper for an all female crew. And tampon dispensers in every corner of the fucking thing. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:47:32 AM EDT
[#26]
I hope the sub doesn't ever hit anything. If it does, that's the definition of irony.
Well you don't have to worry about anyone getting pregnant.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:47:49 AM EDT
[#27]
Once a month all of the missiles will launch and no one will know why. Being it is the navy it will turn up pregnant and on maternity leave 8 months after being deployed
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:48:10 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So when is it going to get backed into the pier? I don't know, but I read another article that said it will be all tongue in groove construction. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:48:17 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My god. If that crew gets synchronized and that boat doesn't stay in port 25% of the time, there will be no mercy on the high seas. ETA: No seaman on board! I was thinking the exact same thing. That sub is gonna be very angry and irritable for one week every month! |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:48:50 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Do we really need another $2,700,000,000 submarine? Yes. They're replacing the old 688 boats, and the Virginia is probably the best DoD acquisition program in existance. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:49:36 AM EDT
[#31]
Hmmmm. Don't chicks in close proximity for extended periods (no pun intended) tend to have their cycles sync up?
Gee, an entire nuclear sub having PMS at one time, what could go wrong? |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:50:40 AM EDT
[#32]
That is one submarine I would NOT want to challenge if they're pissed off!
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:51:20 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't know, but I read another article that said it will be all tongue in groove construction. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: So when is it going to get backed into the pier? I don't know, but I read another article that said it will be all tongue in groove construction. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:51:21 AM EDT
[#34]
Sounds like the makings of a terrible porn flick.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:51:29 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Canned tuna! Smells like fish.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:51:56 AM EDT
[#36]
If they paint it white it will look like a giant tampon when the mooring lines are on it.
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:52:06 AM EDT
[#37]
Why does that sound like sexual discrimination?
What if your a guy who feels like a women and wears panties, can you be on the tuna sub then? |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:52:19 AM EDT
[#38]
So it's long, hard, and NOT full of seamen?
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:52:20 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Do we really need another $2,700,000,000 submarine? Yes, quite a few more actually.... |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:52:33 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had to re-read that, I thought it said a "virginVagina-class" submarine Quote HistoryQuoted:
the USS Illinois, a Virginia-class submarine I had to re-read that, I thought it said a "virginVagina-class" submarine FIFY |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:52:47 AM EDT
[#41]
The Blood Sub.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:52:56 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sounds like the makings of a terrible porn flick. |
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:53:05 AM EDT
[#43]
To find the sub, just follow the sharks.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:53:46 AM EDT
[#44]
 Quote HistoryQuoted:
in related news, every couple of weeks the Illinois pulls into random harbors and asks directions....
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:54:22 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Two year old article... My bad. Still funny.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:54:43 AM EDT
[#46]
The USS Red Tide, has a nice ring to it.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:54:50 AM EDT
[#47]
So. Much. Scissoring.
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:57:02 AM EDT
[#48]
Whole new meanings to "load the torpedo tubes".
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:57:24 AM EDT
[#49]
Yay for segregation? Is this supposed to be a good thing?
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Posted: 6/3/2014 8:57:50 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
To find the sub, just follow the sharks. I lol'd |
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