About 4 weeks ago my wife gave me the news that I am going to be a dad.

Well we are very excited cause we have be trying for 5 years.

-Any advice and tips y'all can give me will be greatly appreciated.

-Any recommendations for need to have items. I found a few cool diaper bags.

Start building your sleep savings account now...you're gonna' need it.

If when your child is born... If you don't feel an immediate attachment it is normal.  Your wife carried the kids for 9 months.  You are meeting for the first time.  You as a dad fall in love with your kid over time.

This is excellent advice.

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If you have a boy (I have 2), you'll be fine. You'll know what to do.

If you have a girl (mine's the baby at 29 yrs. old), you have to treat her like a miniature woman from an early age.

They just ain't wired the same. Although she did steal my heart and still has it to this day.

Start buying packs of diapers now.  Buy various sizes.  It will save you in the long run.

Starting from day one, spend quality time with your child. As I mentioned in a previous post anyone can be a baby daddy. It's a whole lot harder being a father. The time will go faster than you think. When they are young they want to spend time with you. When they hit the teen years-not so much. Leave your child a legacy for him or her to follow when they have they children.

Congratulations to you and your wife.

I was married for 5 months when my wife told me she was pregnant.

Very true

U shoulda SIIHPAPP'd

Ear plugs will save your sanity. They enable you to deal with the crying without going bonkers.

That wasn't true for me…… I fell in love with my kids instantly.  I don't believe you can make a sweeping statement like that.

1. Start stocking up on diapers and wipes

That is just how it was for me.  Not saying it is the norm.

This especially #1 you'll need them.

Be a DAD first. Don't worry about being a FRIEND. A child NEEDS a DAD not a friend.

Use common sense and your gut feelings when dealing with a child…… forget all the new age bullshit when raising a child….. it will be hard to raise up a good child today with all the BS floating around…. you have to be stronger and more determined than the wankers out there.

 

Congratulations!

Get a good video camera that records to digital (no tapes). Good still camera too.

Start planning and keeping a journal: letters to your child. ETA: keep it going well into teen years.

Find a soundtrack of hungry, angry babies crying. Listen to it, bask in it. Be molded by it. You should be all Zen with the crying by the time your child arrives.

Spend as much time with your child as you can. Do everything possible to keep your wife happy, family together.

Live it up as much as you can. It sounds like it's been a long road to pregnancy, so enjoy it. It will be over before you know it.

Get excited and get involved in planning and preparing

Patience. I two girls, 5 and 7 I love them more than anything. But they can push my patience to no end.

No matter how tired you are, never let them sleep in your bed.

And any of the stores will let you return the unopened ones and exchange for the correct size.

Treat every day as a new experience, because for the kids it is.

Be good, fair and just.  Set boundaries, teach morals and good character values.

Always let them know they have your trust and you will always help them.

Thanks guys.

I really don't care if it's a boy or girl really. But I've been umpiring little league games and I really can't wait to start coaching.

Used clothes are the way to go. Garage sales, Facebook, friends, etc. Never buy new they are a waste of money.

Congrats.
I'm a dad to two, stepdad to three and an "adopted dad" to one who I took in, who lost both her parents to drug overdoses and needed a hand figuring life out.

All my kids are doing well, working hard and making their way through life. I also have three grandkids. not bad for 48.

I guess I'm qualified to speak up, as I have not only raised, but earned the respect of all my kids. OK.....my one daughter, though not a problem, kind of thinks her friends are more important than her family. She also got herself kicked out of the house and out on her own at some point. We hang out a little, but it's kind of arkward, but we try.

Be a Dad first and friend second. Don't push them. Don't throw on a tiny sized (insert team name here) logo encrusted garment from the day they are born and beat that into them. Let them explore who they want to become........and then support that. If my son wanted to be a ballet dancer instead of a Steelers fan, I'm good with that. I'd help him make that dream come true. Whatever it takes.
I remember when Tiger Woods was just getting popular and seeing all the dads screaming at their kids for improper technique at the driving range and swore I'd never be that guy. I felt bad for those kids who would rather be doing something else. Kids in tears that were being forced to do something by frustrated dads. Nobody was having fun. It was not making memories. It was hardship and the kids would no doubt look back on that as bullshit.
Just support what they want to do, but find "your thing" too....something special you do together.
Be open. Be objective. Be the guy they can come to when they need to figure shit out. Don't be that guy that they are afraid to come to because you are so biased or set in your ways. When my kids have problems, we talk it out, lay it all out and figure out ways for them to fix the problem.

Kids are going to have it rougher than we ever did. It's our job to raise them right in a fucked up world.

Good luck and once again, Congrats.

I was married for about a month when I got that news  I would wait until after the baby shower as you will get most of the stuff you need at that event.  Buying diapers ahead of time and bottles is a good idea, especially a shit load, pun intended, of diapers.  Don't buy formula cause you won't know what the kid will keep down and what not.  That's a hit and miss thing.  And congrats!

any plans you make on the actual delivery  of your child will be null and void upon the first signs of actual labor.


Whats that saying, no plans survives contact with the enemy? We took every birthing class we could take. Helped me understand what is going to happen but every plan we had to try and make it through went right out the window once labor started.


Congrats!!!

I agree with this.  My kiddo stole my heart from the first second I laid eyes on her.

Just remember that the 1 year no questions asked return policy will fly by.  Make sure it's the one you want pretty quickly.

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I never really spent much time with kids at all and became a father when I turned 37 and then had to raise my boy solo for the first 9 months of his life. You will figure out everything you need to know as it all comes pretty much as second nature. The things you cant figure out means you will bring your kid to the emergency room for just about everything but eventually you will find your groove. It will become the greatest thing you have ever done. Enjoy every second. Next Friday my boy turns 4 and its been the best 4 years of my life so far. Congrats and enjoy it all!

Oh if it's a girl I don't have to worry about clothes. My little sister's daughter has a bunch of clothes.

And then my older sister is a store manager at a Carter's. And she can get clothes at discounted prices.

Start a college fund early.

Congrats OP, now the real fun begins.....

My first was a girl. That was what I wanted actually.
Girls are really great when they are young and look up to you, but in the teenage years... hoo wee... hold on to your hat 'cause those are some rough times.
You should see all the gray hair I have...

But that was then. Today she is married with 3 kids.
They are all coming over today to have dinner here. Life is good. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Don't get frustrated with their crying and screaming. Put them down / hand them to someone and walk away if you have to. Don't lose your temper.
Have your own diaper bag. Don't get stuck carrying your wife's bag and all the crap she thinks you'll need.
Talk / read to the baby a lot. Don't let people talk "baby talk" gibberish to it.
Get one of those small, cheap folding strollers and keep it in your car at all times.

What has been seen, cannot be un-seen.

Spend as much time holding them as you can.

Buy stuff like diapers now in bulk to get ahead of the power curve.

Talk to your kid starting now and continue to do so. Don't use baby talk when you are talking to them in the womb or out.

Make sure any thing you buy for the baby is ok with mom or mom in law it will save you an ear full.

Don't get frustrated with the kid, just maintain composure as best you can and talk in a non excited manner. If you have to walk away or hand off the baby for a min to settle down.

this

CONGRATS!!!! 75% of the crap people yell you to buy is garbage, keep it simple. Onsies, diapers, wipes, and bottles.

Congrats, and yes, don't count on getting a full night's sleep for at least two years.

Sell all you guns and ammo, you'll need the cash.
I'll take the .22 ammo.

First , relax and take a deep breath
You are capable of doing this.

Be involved with decisions , make as many trips to the DR as possible. It's important for your girl to know you are on board. Communicate with her - it's not all woman's work these days. When they are born , feed the baby , dress it , clean it up when it pukes , do everything in your power to be involved

Buy the basics , don't buy every stupid baby gimmick product made ...it's kinda like hanging too much shit on an ar-15 most crap just isn't needed

If you have friends or family close to your age l that have kids recently - talk to them. Sorry mom and dad and grandparents the old folks can have some good advice , but keep in mind ...things and baby gear have changed. But make your own decisions and establish boundaries quickly with your respective families. Overbearing grandparents can and will drive you crazy.

Start getting the baby space ready , things will happen faster than you think.
Don't blink . If seems like yesterday for us. We tried for years and even discussed adoption. Then double whammy ...twins

My girls are 9. Don't blink . Spend time with them from an early age.

A lot of good advice in here.  



You know how to tell a parent from a non-parent?  Ask when what they would do if them and their spouse were suddenly given off 2 hours for lunch.  The non parents would say "Woo hoo, time for some nookie!" while the parents would say "Oh thank God, I can get a nap."  



Kids are great, but there will be many challenging times, just prepare for it now.  



FWIW we don't even have a diaper bag.  Most of the time you won't be far from the car anyway.  We carry a tiny bag with diapers, wipes and a change of clothes.  My son was breastfed.  Yes, it kinda sucked for me, but other all was a hell of a lot easier and cheaper.  



Finally, don't worry, you won't break it.  

Little kids little problems,,,, Big kids big problems..  Congrats and good luck

Small kids don't wear out cloths.  The thrift store is your friend!  You can get like new stuff for 75% off.

Congrats....it is the best thing in the world....

Buy diapers, diaper cream, meds, wipes in bulk and safely store where the little one will be, and some in every car (10 is one, 1 is none and dirty).  
Be ready early, babies room, crib, car seat, what ever, that will ease the learning curve.

most of all hold it close when he/she needs it/ give space when he/she needs it....and love it like no tomorrow.

Take a nap now.  When that kid comes home your naps are over...

You will go through over 2000 diapers your first year alone. You really can't have too many. Use Amazon subscribe and save and get free prime for  a year. Buy the good ones, pampers swaddlers, then cruisers, they won't leak shit everywhere as much. It will happen, occasionally. Baby Poop is amazing.

Breast is best, accept no substitutes. Go out of your way at all costs to help mommy achieve this. She will be tired, exhausted, do everything else you can to help her nurse. She will thank you for it. Your healthy kid will too. Nothing goes in the baby's mouth except a boob for a full month AT LEAST. Do not let the hospital force you to feed the baby with a bottle, some will push formula on you to make sure the kid eats before leaving...this is malpractice!

Kids are amazing, but babies can be difficult. You will feel like you can't help your wife with the baby, so don't, help with the house instead. You might feel like she doesn't love you as much as the baby, she does, she's just tired and telling herself to hold on. As baby grows up, you'll do more dad stuff together, at 6 months to a year at some point you may switch to formula and/or bottle feeding, then you can really start taking some burden off mom.

Finally, sleep.  You and baby. Saved this for last because it's the most important. Babies are not born knowing how to sleep, it is not innate. Never think your child will just 'figure it out' one day, they won't, they need to be taught how to sleep. There's no magic age or year when it'll just click. If you start with poor sleep habits, they will continue for a long, long time.  Get dark shades and a white noise machine, the womb is very dark and LOUD from the blood rushing through mommy, make the room like the womb. Babies like the shushing noise, loud. At around 4 months, they can start serious sleep training, which means crying. It's okay.  They will feed then sleep then wake up at 45 minutes in, let em cry. They'll fall back asleep. You can have a 4 month old that sleeps 5-6 hour blocks or you can give in and have a 1 year old that can't go for more than 2 hours, it's your choice, but the former is way better. WAY BETTER.

All said, having a baby is awesome, truly. You'll never love anything as much as your kid.  They are amazing little creatures, and will fill you with wonder and joy. Congrats, dad.

Honestly, start saving for college now!  It is crazy expensive today and I can only imagine where it will be in 18 years.

Everything else will come to you.  Enjoy every minute because they grow up faster than you can imagine.