mine showed me all the things not to do in raising my own children. one day he will die a bitter lonely old man and no one will miss him

edit
after reading the other comments i hope that one day down the road my daughter is as lucky as some of you and writes similar things about me

 

I loved my pops!  He was my idol all through life.  He passed away in 2007 and I miss him something awful.

Mix of good and bad, the bad brought on mostly by booze and some mental health issues suffered by both he and my mother...

I will say that he tried his best in life and worked damn hard to provide for his children.  I hold no grudges against the man and miss him terribly.

Dad was a big guy and a gentle guy. He was 38 when I was born, a WW2 Navy Vet. He signed up to help coach little League so that I could be on the team. Did Boy Scout paper drives in our new station wagon , in the rain. Learned how to sail a sailboat , from me, in his mid 50s. Took me up to the mountains to go skiing even though he didn't know how to ski. Yea, he was a good dad.

My old man had suffered during WW2 as a POW, seen a lot of death and destruction came to the USA penniliess, worked two, sometimes three jobs. He would come home dead tired, eat have a drink, and fall asleep watching TV and my Mom would half drag half carry him to bed only to wake up at 0330 the next morning. He worked so hard it scared me into becoming a gov't employee One of the reasons I retired was that I never saw my old man live his dream of retiring

He was the type of father/man I aspired to be. Now he's living with me and watching him age and deteriorate is one of the saddest things I've ever had to deal with.

Hasn't really been a part of my life for the last 20 yrs. He spends his nights drinking scotch and remembering how my mom ruined everything. I try to reach out from time to time and we share a good moment. It hurts us both to know time went by so fast and we missed our lives together. I love him dearly and think of him almost everyday. He tried really hard to make it work when we were all together but it fell apart and he never got over it.

He was the family disciplinarian

Dad was my Best Friend....

I miss him terribly!

It's been 2 years and not a day goes by that I don't think about him.

He bailed when I was seven. Parents had a fight, he yelled something about never wanting goddamned kids in the first place, and he was gone.

Ain't seen or spoken to him since then, don't even know if he's still alive.

I'd like to be able to say that it hasn't had any affect on my life...but that would be a lie.You never get over being rejected by one or both of your parents.

Mostly good.

He's a good man, but growing up, he worked out of town/state a lot, so we didn't see him much (although my parents were still married).  Most of my childhood memories, as far as parents, are of my Mom only.

Pretty bad


As a result of a nasty divorce and bad blood between my parents,(nutjob mother.) And we don't often speak, but he is a good guy and tried his best. I have nothing but the utmost respect for him

Also if not for him I would not be interested in firearms

Yep, died when I was 19, I wish he had made it to see his grandkids.

My dad is a great man, he has more patience than anyone else i have known.

Dad taught me how NOT to live.

Step-dad and granddad taught me how to be a man, husband, and father.

Best friends.

Died in '98.

He is a manipulative, abusive alcoholic that I refuse to speak to.

To quote a line from the movie, The Shootist, "What I do on his grave won't pass for flowers".

Good.
Work took him away most of my childhood. And left him exhausted when he was around.
But he still made time for us when he could, I don't think he really understood how to deal with kids. But he taught me more than I even realize I'm sure.
Now we get along real good, kinda like two old friends, but he's still my go to guy for advice on most things.

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Lots of times, when you're a kid, you don't realize how good you've got it.  As you get older, you see that having a strict parent is not a bad thing.  As a kid I resented dad's ways but as I got older I realized how they had prepared me to be a better person and to raise kids of my own.

My dad got me a bicycle for my 6th birthday.  He said, "Take care of it because its the only bike I'll ever buy you.  If you have another one, you'll be paying for it yourself."  I'm 57, I still have that bike at home in the old chicken coop.  I painted it, I put a seat on it, I put tires/innertubes on it.  and I road the heck out of till I was 17.  Then my bike riding days were over.

My parents didn't let me take a driving test till I was just past 18 years old.  In 39 years of driving hundreds of thousands of miles I've had one minor accident and it wasn't my fault.

Dad took us hunting, fishing, played baseball with us (he really loved baseball) and taught us to work on cars (routine maintenance work).  I have saved myself  a pile of money over the years working on my own vehicles whenever it was something I could do (I don't rebuild automatic transmissions, but I do everything else when/if it needs done).  I got a check engine light on my 86 IROC Tuesday when I fired it up to run to Walmart.  Code reader says its the engine coolant sensor/circuit, so I hope to get to that today or tomorrow after it warms up a little.  Fixed a weed eater last weekend (new filter, hoses and primer bulb) and working on a second one now (probably need to take the carb apart and clean it out good, the way its acting).

Dad didn't drink, didn't smoke or chew, didn't fool around on mom and didn't cuss (did hear him say "shit" one day when he busted his thumb with a hammer, I remember looking up and seeing the blood had squirted up the wall above him - I was holding the bottom of the ladder) and he and mom didn't fight or argue.  He believed it took two people to argue so if mom got testy, dad just walked away and went somewhere else and got to wrok on something (always something that needed, trimmed, cut, split, mowed, weeded, stacked, etc. around home).

My brother's and I had a great life as kids growing up.  My younger brother complains that he was picked on but that was by me and our other brother and its exaggerated I'm sure.

Tier 1 as a child. I now out weigh him by 25 pounds and am 3" taller. He is a CNN, MSNBC parrot, and a Democrat. Sort of breaks my heart to see the man I use to look up to as a not so bright guy.


Edit: He did take me hunting and teach me how to shoot. Although, I was more like his slave that he ordered around so he didn't have to do anything himself while hunting and shooting.

Biological dad is dead to me. He can choke on a bag of dicks.  Last time I saw him he was being ducked into a US Marshals car.

The man my mom met and subsequently married?  He's pure gold.  I'm so proud to call him my dad.  There is no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be nearly the man I am today were it not for him.

Sounds like mine; I wish I had been able to spend more time with him in his later years but he retired to SC and we only saw them once or twice a year.



 

At my father's memorial service, one of his two best friends - a WW 2 Marine who I'd known all my life as "Uncle" Mike - and I were talking about my father and I.  He said, "Janie, from the time you and your mother fell out (I was six) until you were grown and married, everything Phil did, he did with you in mind.  Everything."

I can't imagine how I could have had a better father.

He was a great dad. He had flaws and crazy traits, but so does everyone.

He always made his family top priority. He would take off work if he had to, in order to attend school functions. He took us on some wonderful family vacations. He'd listen and give advice. He loved my mom and more importantly, respected her.

I miss him so much.

Great father.  Just wish I could see him more.

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He was hard on me when I was younger with sports, school, and life in general, which I did't fully appreciate till I got older, we really didn't get along at all from the age of 15 till about 20.  I'm 27 now and we have a great relationship, he will bend over backward to help me with anything and I will do the same for him.  We are to the point now were we can go out for a few beers and just really enjoy each other's company.

I find myself as I get older becoming more like him.

My Dad is awesome.  Taught me to hunt and fish and is a quiet, gentle person.  But I pitty the fool that pisses him off.  Dad is now 77 and doesn't get around to well.  I talk to my parents every day.  I realize he will not be around forever so I try to make the most of the time my parents have left.  They just recently sold their house as they just can't keep up with the property chores.  They live 2 1/2 hours away but in a few weeks will move into a beautiful retirement complex 15 minutes away from me.  I can't wait for them to move so I can spend as much time with my parents as possible.

bWell ... since you asked ...

My dad abandoned us when I was 11.

Took all the money we had as a family and left his blond haired blue eye wife and two kids in a poor black neighborhood in NJ.

Showed up one day when I was 14.

I told my mom "he's in trouble or he wouldn't be here, I won't sleep under the same roof as this piece of shit".

She smiled and said "he's your father honey" ... (he was arrest a few months later on a felony warrant)

I ran away that day never lived with my parents again.

Ended up with an uncle in WV.  

Became the youngest Professional Land Surveyor ever in the state. (21 years old, in 1985)

Never saw a dime from my parents.

My wife and my mom convinced me to let him back in my life.

On his first visit to my house he sat in our living room reading a newspaper.

He would read a page and throw it in the floor.

For the whole paper.

I sat there for a while and asked him what he was doing.

He looked at me and smirked "your mom or your wife will pick it up".

I beat his ass.  

Next visit a few years later me and my mom had a slight argument about something I forget about, I was holding our newborn baby and my dad grabbed my shirt and drew his fist back and screamed "don't hit your mother!"

My mom started crying, my wife came in and asked what was going on.

My dad said "he hit his mother" and for the first time in my 25 years on earth my mom said "he's lying ..."

I beat him so bad he lost control of his bowels.

I threw him in his car and told my mom "don't ever bring him back".

With the birth of our second child six years later my mom, wife and brother convinced me to interact with him as I was placing a strain on my mom.

Soooo ...

He has been good to my kids and my mom has got to spend a lot of time with us.

I recently told my kids the story above so they would have a better understanding of why I'm frosty around my dad.

He's old and withered now and still makes my mom wait on him hand and foot.

When we visit and he yells "get me a bottle of water, I'm thirsty!" to my mom, I just look at him and say "get it yourself".

When I'm there he does.

(ARFCOM therapy feels good)

Conversely, when you are a kid you don't realize just how bad you had it.  I perceived my upbringing & relationship with my father as normal.  





I could write a novel about his shortcomings.





My father, now 78yrs old has been a drunk for 40+ years.  Selfish unlike anyone else I've ever known.  Hasn't worked a job since 1976. My mother enabled that.  He was terrible with any money he ever got.





He was abusive to me mentally, physically and verbally.  My younger sister on the other hand had him wrapped around her little finger (still does).  She would complain to dad I did something (usually a lie) and out would come the belt & later a fist. She took sick pleasure in that form of manipulation.





My senior year of high school, just prior to graduation he came after me with the intent of cold cocking me.  I dodge the punch, sidestepped & he tripped onto the floor.  He got up pissed off & said "You think you can take me now?"  My simple reply was "I know I can."  I stood firm & he did not test me ever again after that.





I can't say he taught me much of anything that has had a long lasting value other than DON'T BE LIKE HIM.  I have taken a different path and I am nothing like him.





I saw him at Christmas for about 20 minutes last year as that was all he would stay at our house.  I didn't have his brand of beer. I have spoken to him once since.





 

I voted mostly bad.
Dad wasn't around all that much because he worked a lot.
When he was he was very critical of me. I could never do anything right.
Everything I ever wanted to do was "dumb" or "stupid" or "weirdo".
By the time I reached my early teens I no longer even bothered talking to him because he would flip out and go to critizing.
Our relationship got better after I moved out at 19.

Pretty much this.

We eat lunch together pretty much every day and go shooting about once a month.

He was a quiet man. He worked without complaint and provided for a family of 6. He sent two of us to college and would have sent all 4 if the others would have went. He was God fearing but not a thumper. I can never be the man he was or be on the same level. He stood by me through a divorce and never once casted a shadow of blame on me, even though he could have. Even after being grown and working a great job he made sure there was money in my pocket, gas in the tank and food in the fridge.

I miss this man every single day. He was more than a father, he was my best friend. He has been gone since December 10, 1996 but will never be forgotten. I love you Dad.

My pop was the best.

my dad is great

My dad supported me in everything.
He is my best friend and we talk daily.

I love my dad, but he's an idiot. Was great when we were kids, coached every sport, played with us all the time and he had a good job.  He is terrible with money, however. A JD with a bachelors in economics, he could hardly balance a checkbook. We went bankrupt while I was in college. He stole some money from my loans to pay his bills and my credit was destroyed. I forgave him, because my mother was a raging bipolar drug addicted cunt. I learned what NOT to do monetarily from him.  Now, I have a great life.

His biggest mistake was not divorcing my mom when I was 15 and she landed in jail for forging narcotic prescriptions.  He should have left her to rot in jail and taken us away. She deserved it too, she left my 4 year old sister alone in the house to go try to buy drugs three towns over. I came home from school to find a cop trying to break into my house to save my sister. They finally divorced 4 years ago, 15 years too late IMO.

Now, my dad lives near me and we see each other about once a week.  My daughter absolutely loves him and the way they play together reminds me of how good a dad he was when I was little. We have had some hard times, but we still get along, but it'll never be perfect.

And the cat's in the cradle with a silver spoon, little boy blue with the man in the moon.............

My father has been a great father.  He always made the time for us when we were kids, and still does.  And not only that, but he sacrificed a lot for us kids and made us his #1 priority both with time and financially.  I work with him, so I get to see him pretty much every day for about 10 minutes, sometimes more.

Pretty typical.  He works a lot but is a good provider.  I don't agree with him about everything and we've had our share of arguments.

But then again, we got to go on a nice vacation in January:

Great.  

Its gotten better since ive become a father.  He adores his grandson.

My Father was great and I miss him terribly.

Was too busy trying to be my friend to be a father.

Did a lot of nice things when I was younger. Cub scouts, coached baseball, never missed a school function, spent time at airports watching planes land. Always had a roof and helped get me through collage. Towards the end of our relationship he took me to a lot of baseball games. He had a good sense of humor too. My deep appreciation of farts, burps, Bob Newhart, Shelly Berman and Bill Cosby are also owed to him.

He tried to show me some things but I was a lazy teenager and he never had the wherewithal to make me learn them. My fault for being a lazy teenager but his fault for not being a father. Simple things like car maintenance or home repairs. Didn't learn them then and feel like an idiot now because of it.

His biggest shortcoming has been not standing up to my mother. My relationship with her soured around aged 13 and never got better. She did the same thing to my brother. They have now (IMO driven by her mental health issues) completely rejected my wife and I along with our daughter/their granddaughter. We haven't talked in nearly 6 years. They've also cut off my brother and my grandfather (mothers father). Hell, they skipped my Grandmothers (mothers mother) funeral.

So he's a nice guy and did a lot of nice things but I don't respect him as a man. He would have been a fantastic uncle or grandfather just not that great of a father. Honestly at this point he's just another guy which is really sad.

I'm trying real hard not to repeat his mistakes by being a father to my daughter. She gets equal parts love AND discipline. Good times AND forcing her to do what she needs to do. Praise AND punishment when warranted.

Other than hating each other when I was a teen(looking back, I can't say I blame him... I was horrible), we get along great. We are polar opposites on most matters, but we still love each other very much. I saw both my parents yesterday and they are fine, in fact, they are going to Paris next month.

Not long ago my father and I went for a drive in my ratty old convertible, stopping at Bobbie's Dairy Dip for ice cream. We both sat outside, eating our ice cream and enjoying the day in each other's company. It was just like when I was a little kid, except I was the one driving.... And we knew that my mom would say something about two Type 2 diabetics eating ice cream, so it's still our little secret.

My dad was "The Stranger who lived at the end of the hall"



He taught me one extremely valuable lesson; How NOT to raise my own kid. I did everything with my kid exactly opposite of what my dad did with me and my sibs.

It seems to have worked out well because my (now adult) son is a good student in college, active in student activities and student government and he's my best friend.

I'll be charitable and say "mostly good".

I think the biggest thing my dad taught me was how NOT to do something.  Watching him fiddlefuck around on a "project" was just...  Now I have my prized Snap-On rollaway, numerous other Craftsman garage furniture fixtures and a nice little shed to store all my outdoor stuff.  My tool drawers are labeled, sorted and organized like a surgeon's kit.  I research everything, measure twice and cut once, and keep my work area clean.  I guess that's why I like firearms so much.  That, and my German heritage tendency to over think/overbuild.  

To this day, I remember my dad's crappy, beat up toolbox with mismatched screwdrivers, rusty drillbits and generic sockets.  And an ancient, WW2 era electric drill.  Heavy, with a fabric coated power cord.  That bitch shot sparks 2 inches out the sides when you'd start and stop it; God's own ozone generator.

I was a shitty son. In hindsight. He did a good job on his part.

He wrote checks and talked to my Mom about us kids but had almost zero personal involvement.  

My son KNOWS his father.