User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:06:10 AM EDT
[#1]
From the title, I thought this was a OutandproudPaul thread...
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:15:07 AM EDT
[#2]
When I was young it was a semi-regular occurrence to blow opportunities. Mostly on an initial meeting basis, not sure things. I was a good looking man, women would tell me so. I got recruited to be a model by a casual acquaintance and was making $50 an hour for clothing advertisements on TV and print back when that was big money. Women would often give me the look accompanied by a smile when out in public. I was too shy, chicken shit, whatever you want to call it to approach them. Alcohol solved that problem before it created another.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:19:13 AM EDT
[#3]
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:23:10 AM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
Lots of threads about best sex stories, worse stories, ect. How about times we could have had it but we missed ALL the go signals. I was a young airman, and had just moved into my first off base apartment. A SUPER hot Latina who was going to get out in a few weeks, asked me out for dinner and drinks. We got tore up and went back to my place at her suggestion. We sat in my room for several hours drinking wine and and enjoying conversation. Soon she said, "I'm way too drunk to drive, can I stay here? I have pjs in my car I can wear". My response "sure! I'll crash on the couch...night!" Told my older room mate what happened the next day and he response was, "in a few days the realization of what she wanted is going to hit you and you are going to realize you are a fucking idiot" Whoa! Never with that open of an opportunity. Maybe misreading a girl's initial invitation, but not with something so available. If I am that close I either close the deal or get told "no". More often than not I close the deal. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:23:45 AM EDT
[#5]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:26:42 AM EDT
[#6]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:27:19 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. And this. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:55:36 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. Yeah, what this guy said 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:00:05 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yeah, what this guy said Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. Yeah, what this guy said |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:06:27 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
God if I could go back and redo high school knowing what I know now. This 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:18:20 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah, what this guy said
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. Yeah, what this guy said
ditto... I will mention my most embarrasing moment. there was a girl in HS I liked quite a bit and we ended up going to our schools "amusement park" night (Dorney Park). She wanted to go on a ride called the "Iceberg". Cars that went around and around in circles with flashing lights and loud music... I don't take to rides well at all but went anyway....made it through the entire ride, than once it stopped I ended up projectile vomiting in front of her. That shit shot out of my mouth a good 5-6 feet. She took of running.... Positive side of the story is that another girl who was just as pretty and much kinder helped me get cleaned up and we ended up dating for the next 5 years. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:19:55 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
God if I could go back and redo high school knowing what I know now. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. Yeah, what this guy said
What that sitting on your non dominant hand until it falls asleep and then fapping makes it feel like another person  . Not sure how that's going to improve what happened to you in high school.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:20:19 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: God if I could go back and redo high school knowing what I know now. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. Yeah, what this guy said |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:27:46 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
God if I could go back and redo high school knowing what I know now. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. Yeah, what this guy said
redo? no... f-that... tell myself "screw these people, your gonna lose alot of weight your first year in college; and that college life is gonna kick ass?" yeah... that |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:29:30 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Exactly
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. Yeah, what this guy said
you would have ended up buy a whole lot more ammo huh? 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:32:51 AM EDT
[#16]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:33:57 AM EDT
[#17]
Long story short, in high school a girl was all over me and I pussied out.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:37:31 AM EDT
[#18]
Hung out with a cute asian girl freshman year in college, She called me over to her room at midnight an put on some nine inch nails I want to fuck you like an animal and showed me her drawer of condoms. I was so tired from crew practice that day that I curled up and fell asleep in her roomates bed. It's OK, I ended up dating 3 of her sorority sisters because I didnt sleep with her.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:37:50 AM EDT
[#19]
in HS, girls weren't too direct with me. there were a couple i could have had, but i was instead fixated on ones that were not attainable.
in college, i had countless opportunities that i blew because i was both a perfectionist and afraid of commitment. i am pretty sure one in particular had a rape fantasy that she wanted me to participate in, but i just didn't understand at the time..... |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:39:19 AM EDT
[#20]
Posted this before.
Drove my Kawasaki over to a friend/co-worker's house to watch Dances with Wolves on VHS. I was 19 I think. She was early 30s. Get 5 minutes into it and she excuses herself for a minute. Comes back with a robe on, completely open in the front, and nothing else. Came over to me, unzipped my pants, and did her best impression of a vacuum cleaner. I was completely terrified. She came on so strong and I was so young. I stammered a bit, stood up, got my Dances with Wolves VHS, and jetted. I think what I said was, "I have to go." She was still into me after that and kept trying to hook up, but she scared me. Now? I'd fucking high five myself right in front of her, I'd be so happy. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:47:55 AM EDT
[#21]
Had a girl in college I really like call me and ask if I wanted to come spend some time with her at a house she was house sitting at
I was drunk and out with friends so I brought them with me Never got invited to spend time with her again |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:53:15 AM EDT
[#22]
I worked with a Suicide Girl (model from the website) at one of my jobs. One night she suggested that we go see a movie, so I took her to a midnight showing of The Aristocrats, which had us both rolling. She kept telling her own versions all the way home, which were extremely dirty
She lived out in the country on dark backroads. When we were almost to her house, she said "I think we should pull over and make out!" and giggled. 21 year old me, thinking she was joking, laughed as well and continued driving, then dropped her off and said good night. And that, my friends, is how MadMonkey didn't get laid by a pornstar. To add insult to injury, I wrecked my car on the way home 
To add even more, after that we were great friends, and she said she loved being able to hang out with me because she didn't feel threatened
So... yeah. 9 years later, still a virgin 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 4:54:42 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I worked with a Suicide Girl (model from the website) at one of my jobs. One night she suggested that we go see a movie, so I took her to a midnight showing of The Aristocrats, which had us both rolling. She kept telling her own versions all the way home, which were extremely dirty
She lived out in the country on dark backroads. When we were almost to her house, she said "I think we should pull over and make out!" and giggled. 21 year old me, thinking she was joking, laughed as well and continued driving, then dropped her off and said good night. And that, my friends, is how MadMonkey didn't get laid by a pornstar. To add insult to injury, I wrecked my car on the way home
To add even more, after that we were great friends, and she said she loved being able to hang out with me because she didn't feel threatened
So... yeah. 9 years later, still a virgin This poor bastard. I don't know whether to slap you or cry for you. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:09:26 AM EDT
[#24]
I was cleared hot with a late 40's cougar with a smokin' body... and I chickened out after one night over at her place.
Coulda had it all. Oh well. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:18:40 AM EDT
[#25]
I had gone out for some beers with a female friend, and watched a movie back at her house. She was just a buddy, part of a circle of friends I had, but she was cute. I dropped out on the couch, she went to bed. A few minutes later, she showed back up, said the movie was creepy, and curled up next to me on the couch, face to face. I put my arm over her, and fell asleep. The next week, I started dating her sister, who became my ex-wife.
TLDR. Friendzoned chick, married her sister. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:19:55 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I worked with a Suicide Girl (model from the website) at one of my jobs. One night she suggested that we go see a movie, so I took her to a midnight showing of The Aristocrats, which had us both rolling. She kept telling her own versions all the way home, which were extremely dirty
She lived out in the country on dark backroads. When we were almost to her house, she said "I think we should pull over and make out!" and giggled. 21 year old me, thinking she was joking, laughed as well and continued driving, then dropped her off and said good night. And that, my friends, is how MadMonkey didn't get laid by a pornstar. To add insult to injury, I wrecked my car on the way home
To add even more, after that we were great friends, and she said she loved being able to hang out with me because she didn't feel threatened
So... yeah. 9 years later, still a virgin This thread is now over. I am hanging my head in shame for you. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:21:52 AM EDT
[#27]
11th grade.........was on a double date, well, not really a date as much as a couple along with me and this girl who I liked but she "technically" had a boyfriend who wasn't around (actually turned out he was cheating on her fairly often) went roller skating at this rink out in the middle of nowhere next to a lake. Just having a good time (when I wasn't picking myself off the floor) and then got ready to go. She wandered off down to the pier by herself. Of course it had to be a clear night, stars were reflecting off the still water. I walked up to her and she turned towards me put her hand on my arm and asked me if I wished things could be different while staring up at me with those incredible blue eyes. Should have kissed her then and there but got to feeling guilty so I wussed out. She was the one that got away. I often wonder if things would have turned out differently if I had kissed her then. She's been married twice now. We're still pretty close. Regrets are a hell of a thing sometimes.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:22:04 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This poor bastard. I don't know whether to slap you or cry for you. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I worked with a Suicide Girl (model from the website) at one of my jobs. One night she suggested that we go see a movie, so I took her to a midnight showing of The Aristocrats, which had us both rolling. She kept telling her own versions all the way home, which were extremely dirty
She lived out in the country on dark backroads. When we were almost to her house, she said "I think we should pull over and make out!" and giggled. 21 year old me, thinking she was joking, laughed as well and continued driving, then dropped her off and said good night. And that, my friends, is how MadMonkey didn't get laid by a pornstar. To add insult to injury, I wrecked my car on the way home
To add even more, after that we were great friends, and she said she loved being able to hang out with me because she didn't feel threatened
So... yeah. 9 years later, still a virgin This poor bastard. I don't know whether to slap you or cry for you. Right, I missed some subtle stuff or just didnt get it at the time. I never missed a fucking NEON exit here sign 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:26:10 AM EDT
[#29]
Blowing it to me was my 2nd date..
I went out with a German girl and her family was a bunch of nudist believers..... I got a cabin with her and despite it being two beds......and all......we slept in separate beds and yep she was naked.......and I was in PJ's.
third date and all..we did finally DO the deed... 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:26:48 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
God if I could go back and redo high school knowing what I know now. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. Yeah, what this guy said
This
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:31:29 AM EDT
[#31]
Wife and I ate at a local truck stop that sold good grub at a reasonable price.
Never had used the restroom. Went in there one night and lo and behold they had glow in the dark condoms for sale. I purchased one and thought "I'll surprise the old lady this evening." 
We took a shower and headed to the boudoir. I waited until I saw her turn the light off and bam! Put that bad boy on and strutted into the room
She started laughing maniacally. I frowned and said "I aint no Johnny Holmes but damn woman" She said "Look in the mirror Mr Glowing banana" Apparently what ever it was lubed with glowed too and I had wiped my hands on my stomach after wrapping up. From across the room it looked like a floating banana with two giant hands chasing it across the room. She laughed so hard she fell off the bed and bruised her ass.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:31:32 AM EDT
[#32]
Regrets are a hell of a thing sometimes. One of the hardest thing for me to learn is letting go of regrets. When you finally get to that place where you can let go it is a really good feeling. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:33:04 AM EDT
[#33]
I didn't buy thousands of Pmags right before the Newtown shooting so I could sell them at panic prices.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:33:49 AM EDT
[#34]
I'm blowing it right now.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:34:28 AM EDT
[#35]
I did this very same thing while living on base. Only difference is she was married and I knew her husband, and I wasn't willing to do that to him to fulfill her (and mine) little NCO on airman fantasy. Sure as shit did I want to. But I was at least aware of what I was doing when I told her to take the bed while I set up on the floor. I'm not sure if the next morning she was thankful, or if she felt self conscious because I wasn't willing to get into bed with her when I was pretty notorious for doing so (hence why she asked to stay over). I would like to think she secretly thanked me for respecting her husband enough to not be a homewrecker.
I got them anyway, but it would have been guaranteed perfect EPR's since she was my direct supervisor.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:37:04 AM EDT
[#36]
Got with my wife to young. Just had to pass on a lot of tail. But have to be husband I said I would be.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:38:03 AM EDT
[#37]
Holy shit I thought.I had blown it lol. Just the typical girl that got away and ive always wondered what would have happened.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:38:24 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It would take less time if I just talked about the times I didn't blow it. This.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:40:30 AM EDT
[#39]
I can't tell my story in it's entirety.
I'll just say that a hot blond bought me a drink at a bar and I was so fucked up when she brought it to me I handed her the money for it. She left. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 5:40:36 AM EDT
[#40]
Ten years ago:
Three buddies and I road tripped to Virginia Beach. We were all under age, me and another were 20, the other two were 18 and 19. Me and the other 20 year old managed our way into the bars. Were sitting at a table by ourselves, drinking jack n cokes. There's two rock solid 10's sitting at the bar 4 feet away from us, but they are talking to these two dudes. Were joking how those dudes are so damn lucky, well never even be lucky enough to sit at the same bar with these broads. As I finish that sentence, the two dudes up and walk out of the bar. My buddy springs that face and we fill those two stools most ricky fuckin tick.
We fuckin killed it with these broads. They're feeding us the "I've never had so much fun", "I wish the local guys were like you" lines etc. They were fuckin eating us up. Im not even kidding you, they were buying US drinks all damn night. We were going back and forth for hours. They're telling us how they love sexy walks on the beach, arguing over who gives the best head, telling us well have to be the judges, you name it. We were guaranteed, 100% could not fuck it up, gonna get laid by these two fuckin drop dead gorgeous 11 out of 10's. The stars were aligned for us. It was like manifest destiny, it was all for us, the heavens had sent us a reward for our good hard work. Well, these chicks got us fuckin hammered. Like, I've never been that drunk before or since. At around 2am my buddy looks at me (kind of) and says Im done man, Im gonna puke or die. We just stood up and walked out of the bar. Didn't even say bye. Probably for the best, we both puked on the sidewalk like three times before we made it to the hotel. Moral of the story: underage drinking is bad. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 6:01:39 AM EDT
[#41]
This thread is hilarious!
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 6:28:16 AM EDT
[#42]
Quoted:
Lots of threads about best sex stories, worse stories, ect. How about times we could have had it but we missed ALL the go signals. I was a young airman, and had just moved into my first off base apartment. A SUPER hot Latina who was going to get out in a few weeks, asked me out for dinner and drinks. We got tore up and went back to my place at her suggestion. We sat in my room for several hours drinking wine and and enjoying conversation. Soon she said, "I'm way too drunk to drive, can I stay here? I have pjs in my car I can wear". My response "sure! I'll crash on the couch...night!" Told my older room mate what happened the next day and he response was, "in a few days the realization of what she wanted is going to hit you and you are going to realize you are a fucking idiot" Your friend speaks the truth |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 6:40:54 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Posted this before. Drove my Kawasaki over to a friend/co-worker's house to watch Dances with Wolves on VHS. I was 19 I think. She was early 30s. Get 5 minutes into it and she excuses herself for a minute. Comes back with a robe on, completely open in the front, and nothing else. Came over to me, unzipped my pants, and did her best impression of a vacuum cleaner. I was completely terrified. She came on so strong and I was so young. I stammered a bit, stood up, got my Dances with Wolves VHS, and jetted. I think what I said was, "I have to go." She was still into me after that and kept trying to hook up, but she scared me. Now? I'd fucking high five myself right in front of her, I'd be so happy. Here's an example. When I was 13-ish, my aunt took me to some friends' of hers cabin in the woods, and the friends had a girl that was my age. We were swimming, and she kept rubbing up against me, and finally asked if I want to go in the woods and fool around. I said no. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 6:44:22 AM EDT
[#44]
I used to hit the bottle pretty hard on a regular basis and I've inadvertently turned down more ass than I care to think of because my next drink was the only priority I had
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 6:47:03 AM EDT
[#45]
I live in an apartment complex full of attractive sorority girls and french foreign exchange students and have not once had sex with any of them.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 6:48:26 AM EDT
[#46]
A girl I knew in High School and I were hanging out with some friends drinking. She got trashed and went to her bedroom. She started calling for me so I went to see what was up and she was sprawled on the bed naked. She said "come here." I said "no, your drunk."
Now, what I didn't know at the time was that I would have been far from taking any "virtue" she may have ever had, sooooo....I kinda regret that. I had my moral high ground to help me deal with my regret, but by the time I was in my twenties I realized "hey, I'm drunk too!" |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 6:53:59 AM EDT
[#47]
There's one guy I wish I'd had sex with and another I wish I'd had sex with a lot sooner.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 7:02:06 AM EDT
[#48]
That thread is hard to fap to. Fortunately, I will find a way using my tears as lubrication.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 7:04:50 AM EDT
[#49]
Turned down a 3-way in college.
(in fairness to me, I was dating someone else at the time, but that fizzled a week later so I wanted a mulligan on that rare show of morals) |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/18/2014 7:05:23 AM EDT
[#50]
End of the date..girl pulls me in for a deep kiss..and I find away to not even get to second base
|
|
|
Win a FREE Membership!
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
