On April 7, 2014 two brave neckbeards walked through the valley of the shadow of death to complete a mission of grave importance. Their lives would be risked but would the reward be worth it? This is their story.

Anchorage has a new Cabela's and tonight was the first opening by invitation only. I went through great lengths to get this invitation. Since Cabela's is a bit more upscale than Walmart I decided I better wear pants and a nice cologne.



After putting on my pants I assembled my EDC gear:



My neckbearding partner in crime arrived and we would be forced to venture out of the basement:



Checking to make sure it was safe:



Coast was clear:



We saddled up my valiant white steed:



Safety first:



Heading East, into the storm. Will we be subject to certain death and get trampled by other 'beards?



Had to stop and get some lunch first. Schlotzskys FTW:



Arrived at Cabela's and stabled our steed:



The neckbeard scouts the location:



Did not expect to see this:



This guy strolls up after we've been there for 15 minutes already and takes the first spot by the door. Douche move on his part. We secretly hoped he would choke on his soda.



I gotta boat, bitch:



The neckbeards have arrived. We are number 5 and 6 in line. Two hours early.



Is my beard straight? One of the Cabela's staff took her picture a couple of times. haha.



We felt special because it was a private event. Lots of people drove up and asked if the store was open. It felt good to tell them they weren't special enough to shop today.



Cabela's makes her wet...



Fat bitch rolls up with three kids and lights up a smoke. Trasshhhyyy....



She noticed I was taking pictures of her and she put her cigarette out... on the ground. Classy move.



I be rollin....



Half hour or so to opening:



15 minutes or so to opening. The line almost doubled what is in this photo before they let anyone in.



Oh, apparently being 93 years old and on a roller scooter makes you exempt from waiting in line for two hours like the rest of us. Free pass for him and his wife to the front of the line and even got to wait inside the store. Old or not, he should wait with the rest of us.



Costco showed up and dropped off a cake:



Finally the moment we've all been waiting for... ENTRY! All the employees lined up clapping. I've never felt so important in my life:



I felt like a celebrity...



I can already feel arfcom's butthurt....



Check out the fish....



"bitch, back away from my cart. Thou shall not touch my 22lr..."



OMG OMG FUDGE TIME:





The limit was one brick per person on 22lr. We were both disappointed. Walmart blew them away on the 22lr front. There wasn't that much placed out on the floor and it was gone in 10 minutes. They had bricks of Blazer, Federal Champion, 300rnd bricks of CCI, some subsonics, and a few expensive bricks of match 22lr. Lots of 22 mag but that wasn't going quickly.  

Like any true neckbeard, we immediately headed to the 22lr aisle. They were very adamant about their 22lr limit. One box over 100rnds or three boxes of 50. I managed to hide four bricks of Blazer into our cart and then snagged a brick of Norma Tac-22 and a brick of Randfeuerpatronen. The former was about $53 bucks and the latter was marked at $93 bucks. I needed some match 22lr so I grabbed it anyway.

Scored some 9mm and average prices, some 44 mag & 38 special at decent prices, and 200rnds of PPU 10mm JHP for $24.99 a box, and a box of .375 Ruger for $63. This was all before a 10% off employee discount.

Then I went hunting for 223. They had a lot but the prices weren't that great. I stumbled upon some Herters for $5.99 a box. After the discount it came to $5.09 a box. I'm sure it's probably crappy ammo (it's not even sealed) but it will work for plinking. At $0.25 cents a round I couldn't pass it up. We bought almost 2,000 rounds. Side note: The Herters ammo was also available by the case but it was cheaper if it was bought individually by the box. Weird.

Overall the ammo supply was decent. They had lots of variety but most of it was lower end. Almost no Speer or "high end" in demand ammo (Gold Dots, HST, etc).  

Cabela's had been spreading the word about how much ammo they have and how they weren't going to run out. I was a little disappointed. They had their 22lr on lock down, but nothing else had a limit. One thing I did notice was the same ammo was at one place on the shelf, but then on the other side a few rows down they would have the same ammo again to fill the space. I found this consistently true throughout the store. Duplicates of everything to make the shelves look full.

The gun selection wasn't that amazing. Pretty much everything they had could be purchased at Sportsman's Warehouse or Walmart. In some cases their selection was less. Again, many duplicates to fill the shelf space. I wanted a S&W 340PD and a Savage Mark II TR but they didn't have either one. I was disappoint.

The store was packed and it was difficult to move around during much of the time. The check out lines were RIDICULOUS. It was the smallest Cabela's I've ever been in and really felt more like a big box store than a Cabela's.

We were faced with a grave obstacle. Having six bricks of 22lr in our cart with a one brick per person limit. The shelf was already wiped clean of 22lr so I didn't want to put the extras back. Like a true neckbeard, I worked the system and found a loophole.

We each went through the ridiculously long check out line with one brick, stashed it in my albino steed, and headed back into the store while the other was guarding the cart. I strolled back over to the ammo section and there was a man with his son trying to find some 22lr. He asked an employee about grabbing him some from the back. He was told no and looked pretty disappointed. I moved the sweatshirt inside my cart revealing our stash of Blazer and handed him a brick. Pretty sure I made his day, but really I only did this because I was too lazy to repeat going through the checkout line again. Three bricks left in the cart by now, and I was wondering what we should do with the other.

Luckily the ammo gods smiled down upon us and we stumbled into one of her coworkers. Gave him the other brick to buy for us. Success. We were able to get 5 bricks of 22lr, which pales in comparison to our Walmart adventure but none the less, 22lr is 22lr. I have another invite pass to return tomorrow and will repeat the same. Only difference is I will get there earlier and bring a chair.

The final haul:




And to make ya'll even more butthurt, this is what we scored from Walmart on Saturday:





DAY TWO UPDATE

Tonight was Cabela's second invitation only night. This one was for contractors. I arrived around 12:45 and sat in my truck. Sold some ammo cans, and then posted up by the door around 230pm. This time I brought a chair. I was first in line but others were waiting within 20 minutes or so. My neckbeard'n partner showed up around 3:45pm. The line was just as long, if not longer, than yesterday. This time we ate some delicious cake while waiting.

Tonight score was 32lbs of powder, six bricks of Blazer, and a Browning BL-22 rifle (price matched Sportsman's).



I'm tired. Debating whether or not I should go again tomorrow. I'm afraid if I get there early and wait by the door again that I'll get assassinated in a drive by from some of the guys who are upset. Luckily, I think I saw some suppositories to cure butthurt's disease near the 22lr aisle. PM me your mailing address and I will overnight you some.

Damn.

Wait.

Twins?

awesome post

Needs moar tacticool cargo pants for neckbeards.

Good job.

I skip Cabelas and the horrible prices they charge.

That and the employees tend to be on the special side.

"Whats Winchester Ranger T"?

In for the butthurt

1) your wife is
2) No offense but I didn't know Alaska had any respectable houses.
3)leave the old guy alone. For fucks sake he's got one leg in the grave and your and able bodied man. You should have held the door for him.
4) if the lady would let me I'd sell all my impractical shit and move the fam up there and live off the land in the bush. Highly unlikely though.

Best thread in years!!!!!!!!!!

This one may even rival S.E.C.

I was enjoying your post until you started bashing overweight people, smokers, and old people.

I'm sure you could have found some other people to insult......

I don't want to be Debbie downer or anything, but I'm pretty sure your neckbeard buddy is a chick.

What are you buying all of this .22lr for?

Dude, get your wife to shave or something............wtf?

In for the butthurt....

Even if his only reason is to make the ARFcommies bitch and moan, that's a good enough reason for me.  

This. I was being polite and let someone else break the news to you.

Great post, you neckbeardin' bastage.

Awesome post! It's got almost everything: basement dwellers, fatties, smokers, hoverround, neckbeard, ammo fort, rules have been followed... It's only missing inkies. 9/10 post.

I can't believe you got her to wear that bear the whole time! That is hilarious!!

Awesome! Thanks for the early morning laugh.

Post of the week

Good post OP

wat

This is great!

So confused

I think starting off with a door in the floor and a hot chick with a beard lost it for me

All this over 22lr.  Talk about leading lemmings over the edge of the cliff.

I cannot remember the last time I bought any 22lr, maybe 10 or more years ago?

Stay tuned for tomorrow's epic adventures

when you gonna roll a safe down those basement steps?

Hummmm I think the "GUY" with the beard may actually be a girl.
GREAT post
Thanks

Bravo, sir. Bra-vo!

Read this thread first 22 at walmart , then this one will make more sense.  

Douche move to cut in line, but not a douche move to play "Get around the rule of the one brick limit?"





       
 

Holy shit man.  You got The Pretty Girl in Alaska.  

Your avatar... It's... Mesmerizing...

Why thank you.  It is Kasumi from the Dead or Alive game.  Google Kasumi dead or alive and click on images....  

Was your partner in crime imported to Alaska?  If that's local talent I'm moving to Alaska

They limited yall on ammo? The cabelas in budha Texas only ammo limit is how much you can fit into the cart and still push out of the store.

Freaking hilarious!

I'll never get tired of using this...

Damn that is one cute neckbeard.

Yeah, she must be a good sport.

Awesome thread!!

Your wife is AWESOME.

and a Tip-of-the-hat to you, Sir.   Your documentary skills are above and beyond the average arfcommer.  Your Walmart skills are also exceptional.

Your wife is an Alaska 9, but that Cabelas is the smallest I've ever seen.

I don't get it.  OP mocks every human form from old to young and stature.  But "dressing up" to look foolish for a private event and arriving two hours early is "normal"?  

This thread and so many of the responses is confirmation that GD is flooded with...................why bother.

Wat?

Nice ammy stash

Wat!