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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:50:11 PM EDT
[#1]
Quoted:
So here is the deal. My girlfriend and I have a roommate who doesn't help clean the house, do her dishes or really socialize with us. She hasn't paid rent on time for November and she had to get help from her parents to cover October. The reason she moved in was due to my gf wanting a roommate who she could "crack out of her shell" but this girl is pretty messed up. Loud noises she freaks. Drop a pot while in the kitchen and she freaks. To me she is a charity case and I don't have time for that. She works with abuse victims and definitely has that "troubled" vibe as well from being abused too. She has been moved in for over two months but her stuff isn't unpacked and it is just a mess. She is 19 to top that off and has never lived anywhere aside from her parents. I don't expect her to clean up after me necessarily, but she doesn't clean up after herself really either. Her room is a jumbled mess, and despite not being her parent, I want to tell her to clean it up. I wanted someone more mature for my house than what I got. I have only kicked one roommate out, but that was for trying to punch me in the back of my head, so I have no practice doing it nicely but firmly. She will be behind on December rent as well, due to working only 12 hours a week at a paying job. Her volunteering with abused people doesn't pay. Plus she hogs my dog and he doesn't come to me unless I give him food now. When I am downstairs she is a shut in. If I am upstairs or away, she comes out and cooks, watches TV, but doesn't clean at all. Just tired of it as I work 5 days a week and my gf works two jobs and goes to school. Any advice on how to kick someone out firmly but not push them over the edge where they may break your stuff or hurt themselves? She is incredibly fragile. GTFO. Sorry, I know no other language. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:50:37 PM EDT
[#2]
Boot to ass.
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:51:41 PM EDT
[#3]
How about asking her to leave?
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:53:26 PM EDT
[#4]
falcon punch her in the cunt
video profit |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:54:25 PM EDT
[#5]
Rules, we have them
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:54:34 PM EDT
[#6]
I lived with three girls in college...
They are 10 times trashier than guys and they learn to menstruate together. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:55:27 PM EDT
[#7]
If she is not on the lease, talk to her. Serve her papers if she balks. I would make her life miserable by doing strange stuff. Have a huge party. Play loud music. Have fun with it.
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:56:04 PM EDT
[#8]
F5 F5 F5
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:56:33 PM EDT
[#9]
Quoted:
Any advice on how to kick someone out firmly but not push them over the edge where they may break your stuff or hurt themselves? She is incredibly fragile. Use George Costanza's idea. Suggest a threesome. Either way, you will win. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:56:40 PM EDT
[#10]
If HER room is a jumbled mess then it is none of your business, should not factor into the decision.
Where the money comes from to cover the rent also isn't any of your business. She hogs your dog? Really? Does she have a lease? |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:56:47 PM EDT
[#11]
Sneak in wearing a mask and...
Er, no. Man up, tell her you don't tolerate Obama voters and kick her out . |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:57:24 PM EDT
[#12]
Put on the roomates underwear and surprise your "girlfriend" with some lesbian sex.
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:57:34 PM EDT
[#13]
Threesome, ask to leave, done
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:58:01 PM EDT
[#14]
Depends on what your laws are, locally.
Here, it's a 3 day pay or quit notice, and those don't do shit. So then it's a 30/60 day GTFO notice. Then it's small claims court time. Then it's getting the Deputy out there to forcibly evict. Those are always fun. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:58:24 PM EDT
[#15]
Revoke bathroom privileges.
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:59:15 PM EDT
[#16]
The best and easiest way to get rid of a roommate is never to have one, especially one that is an SO's pet project.
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:59:24 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
She hogs your dog? Really? Come on, bro, no one likes having their dog burgled. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 3:59:51 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
due to my gf wanting a roommate who she could "crack out of her shell" I'd have a talk with your girlfriend about that. If she's the type that needs to keep 'saving' or 'fixing' someone, you will continue to have this type of problem. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:00:18 PM EDT
[#19]
just tell her it's not going to work and she needs to find a new place to live and give her a date she needs to be out by. Also, if you don't need the extra help for rent tell your GF not to find another charity case to help out.
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:00:26 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I lived with three girls in college... and they learn to menstruate together. How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:00:47 PM EDT
[#21]
Flying elbow usually gets the point across.
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:02:48 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If HER room is a jumbled mess then it is none of your business, should not factor into the decision. Where the money comes from to cover the rent also isn't any of your business. She hogs your dog? Really? Does she have a lease? She sounds like the perfect roommate to me, who cares about her room, where the money for rent comes from. It does suck that she is late on the rent, but if she pays who cares. She never around when your there, sounds good to me. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:03:52 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Depends on what your laws are, locally. Here, it's a 3 day pay or quit notice, and those don't do shit. So then it's a 30/60 day GTFO notice. Then it's small claims court time. Then it's getting the Deputy out there to forcibly evict. Those are always fun. Been through that BS. The tenants have more rights than the homeowner. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:04:43 PM EDT
[#24]
Have her set-up an account and post in this thread. We will let her down easy. I promise.  |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:05:43 PM EDT
[#25]
Sounds pretty typical for a 19 year old who has never lived outside of the home
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:05:52 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I lived with three girls in college... and they learn to menstruate together. How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? Dude, I'm being facetious. They all act like bitches. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:06:07 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I lived with three girls in college... and they learn to menstruate together. How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? 
Please tell me... never mind. I'm guessing you're still a virgin? 
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:06:11 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Flying elbow usually gets the point across. 
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:06:20 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I lived with three girls in college... They are 10 times trashier than guys and they learn to menstruate together. So, you're saying the OP should menstruate with her? |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:06:54 PM EDT
[#30]
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:07:32 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Dude, I'm being facetious. They all act like bitches. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I lived with three girls in college... and they learn to menstruate together. How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? Dude, I'm being facetious. They all act like bitches. Women living together will tend to synchronize their periods naturally. It is known. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:08:51 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I lived with three girls in college... and they learn to menstruate together. How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? They don't "learn" it. It happens without any effort on their part. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:09:14 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted: She works with abuse victims |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:11:54 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I lived with three girls in college... and they learn to menstruate together. How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? You'd be AMAZED ! |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:12:30 PM EDT
[#35]
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:12:42 PM EDT
[#36]
Ain't readin
Shit on their pillow |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:12:52 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
ask her politely to leave and then follow the eviction procedures. Mess with this girl and you could end up losing your guns and getting thrown out of your own place with an Order of Protection. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
She works with abuse victims I think this is the advice to follow. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:16:03 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Threesome, ask to leave, done excellent first post. i concur. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:16:27 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So, you're saying the OP should menstruate with her? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I lived with three girls in college... They are 10 times trashier than guys and they learn to menstruate together. So, you're saying the OP should menstruate with her? Hahah! Sorry, no can do... The reason I care about the cleanliness of the room is due to her having a lizard and crickets. The crickets escape and get into the rest of the house. Also, who knows what is leaking, sitting or spilled on the floor. It is slobbish. I had the same issue with a coworker who roomed with me. I went in to document the condition of the room (damage deposit not being returned is a good reason to keep your room clean and as the main tenant...I would not get it back!). I stepped on an empty water bottle, it rolled out from under me and I almost ended up breaking my teeth on a metal filing cabinet. There was no lease agreement. Just "here is a room, this is what rent is etc." Nothing formal or signed. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:19:09 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If HER room is a jumbled mess then it is none of your business, should not factor into the decision. Where the money comes from to cover the rent also isn't any of your business. She hogs your dog? Really? Does she have a lease? All of this. And, have you considered bringing these issues up wit her? Maybe I missed it but readings for fags so whatever |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:19:10 PM EDT
[#41]
I had a buddy who had his housemate just change the locks on him one day. The guy said "You aren't on the lease I can throw you out whenever I want" when my buddy pointed out that he had paid the rent that month he got some line like "i'm keeping that, you owe me for pizza I bought/trash bags" or some other horseshit and then said he wanted more money for my buddy to get his stuff back. He called the cops and they said it was a civil matter(of course) and I knew the guy for years and was sure he didn't owe the little asshole money.
The other guy worked at a movie theater from like 3-11 so I told my buddy to meet me there after work. I had been there before and knew that the rear door to the apartment swung outwards because it was mounted on a staircase. I popped the hinges off the door with a hammer and screwdriver and removed the rear door. We went in and he removed his stuff and we took all this stuff to a buddy's house. Before we left I noticed that the front door had a deadbolt with no exterior key. You could throw the deadbolt when you came home but could not lock or unlock it from the outside, so I threw it before leaving  Then when I reattached the back door I put the chain through the hasp before putting the door on the hinges. So now without realizing the door came off the hinges there was no way to get inside with a key because the rear door was chained and the front bolted-heh hehI went back to the office for the evening and got a call a few hours later from my buddy. "Um hey, thanks for the help but is there any chance you flipped the bolt to the front door when we were at the apartment?""Um, why do you ask?" "The cops are here" "Tell them to get lost or call me" "Jesus, no thanks, they look pissed." "Okay tell them he can take the rear door off by popping the bolt out of the hinges" I heard some muffled conversation for a few minutes then "The cops are gone, they said for me to tell you that you are an asshole."  |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:19:20 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Women living together will tend to synchronize their periods naturally. It is known. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I lived with three girls in college... and they learn to menstruate together. How do they do that,do they somehow stop themselves from bleeding until the other girls catch up,then let it flow ? Dude, I'm being facetious. They all act like bitches. Women living together will tend to synchronize their periods naturally. It is known. 
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:20:07 PM EDT
[#43]
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:21:06 PM EDT
[#44]
I get the feeling she is part of the FSA,you probably dont want to fuck around with her and have her get a restraining order against you or some other BS/call the cops because the scary mean guy i live with has an arsenal
 .you also need to have a heart to heart with the GF about this need to fix people,this obsession is going to come back and bite you in the ass again in the future |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:23:19 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Hahah! Sorry, no can do... The reason I care about the cleanliness of the room is due to her having a lizard and crickets. The crickets escape and get into the rest of the house. Also, who knows what is leaking, sitting or spilled on the floor. It is slobbish. I had the same issue with a coworker who roomed with me. I went in to document the condition of the room (damage deposit not being returned is a good reason to keep your room clean and as the main tenant...I would not get it back!). I stepped on an empty water bottle, it rolled out from under me and I almost ended up breaking my teeth on a metal filing cabinet. There was no lease agreement. Just "here is a room, this is what rent is etc." Nothing formal or signed. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: I lived with three girls in college... They are 10 times trashier than guys and they learn to menstruate together. So, you're saying the OP should menstruate with her? Hahah! Sorry, no can do... The reason I care about the cleanliness of the room is due to her having a lizard and crickets. The crickets escape and get into the rest of the house. Also, who knows what is leaking, sitting or spilled on the floor. It is slobbish. I had the same issue with a coworker who roomed with me. I went in to document the condition of the room (damage deposit not being returned is a good reason to keep your room clean and as the main tenant...I would not get it back!). I stepped on an empty water bottle, it rolled out from under me and I almost ended up breaking my teeth on a metal filing cabinet. There was no lease agreement. Just "here is a room, this is what rent is etc." Nothing formal or signed. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:24:08 PM EDT
[#46]
You guys are really slacking here... Pics of roommate and GF!
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:33:49 PM EDT
[#47]
Tell her (you and your girl) that you and your girlfriend are planning on moving elsewhere, and want it to be just the two of you. It's getting serious. Have her agree to a plan of action, say everyone has their own place in two months time, etc., and then move on with it.
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:34:59 PM EDT
[#48]
ask her if she likes to get fucked in the ass after eating corn on the cob.
If so, I will pm you my address for her. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:35:11 PM EDT
[#49]
I think you are missing a perfect oppurtunity to shape this young girl into the perfect roommate.
If you do it right threesomes could be more than just a fantasy. |
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Posted: 12/1/2013 4:36:15 PM EDT
[#50]
Complete steps one and two.
Then have her complete step three: open the box. |
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