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Posted: 11/21/2013 4:23:41 AM EST
Need a white elephant gift for a yearly gift exchange gathering--don't have any ideas. None of these people are gun people so doesn't have to be gun related. help me find one.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:24:42 AM EST
Obama Chia pet.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:25:44 AM EST
Is this like "Secret Santa"?

WTF ever happened to the phrase "Secret Santa"?!?

Walmart/Target style gift basket.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:25:46 AM EST
Gift card that say $25, but has zero balance

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:26:47 AM EST
Go to Goodwill, find the ugliest fucking sweater you can possibly find.

Give gift.

LOLs
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:28:01 AM EST
Multi-tool. It's my gateway drug to bringing people to the light.

Give them a Leatherman or Gerber and next thing you know they're carrying a Benchmade auto, getting their CCW and asking you for advice on treestands.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:28:17 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TokerM:
Is this like "Secret Santa"?

WTF ever happened to the phrase "Secret Santa"?!?

Walmart/Target style gift basket.
View Quote


This is like Secret santa, except in this game, you can either choose to take someone else's gift or open an unopened gift when it's your turn.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:31:27 AM EST
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Originally Posted By BayEagle:
Multi-tool. It's my gateway drug to bringing people to the light.

Give them a Leatherman or Gerber and next thing you know they're carrying a Benchmade auto, getting their CCW and asking you for advice on treestands.
View Quote



I don't think "white elephant" means what you think. What you suggest would be a damn good gift and is a good idea.

OP is looking for a gag for laughs.

Hey.... How about a gag? Like for a gimp?

Funny stuff!
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:34:19 AM EST
Shake weight

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:35:26 AM EST
A movie from redbox.

Of course if they don't return it, the jokes on you.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:37:00 AM EST
I did a 5lb box of frozen Gulf shrimp a few times, just transport in a cooler with ice packs. It was funny watching everyone trying to trade it off thinking it was veggis or bait then they all fought over it after unwrapping.
Cost about $25 from the shrimp docks.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:37:53 AM EST
White Elephant = BAD gift.

Secret Santa = Good gift, but giver is not identified.



Bad sweater
Office products that they readily have access to
A VCR (VHS is good, Betamax is better)
Undesirable food products (can of spotted dick, souse, etc)
Nothing intelligent.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:38:27 AM EST
A few years ago I gave a Butt Out deer skinning tool. It went over like a lead balloon and I don't go to the company parties anymore.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:39:21 AM EST


Yo Dawg, I heard you were exchanging White Elephant Christmas gifts.
So I got you a White Elephant for your White Elephant.






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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:39:34 AM EST
I used to give Playboy Calendars out (if they still even make those anymore).

Funny to see who ends up with it....

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:43:11 AM EST
I purchased an inflatable doll for a white elephant gift a few years back. It was really cheesy looking, with blond hair painted on with cheesy yellow paint and big red lips in the classic "O" shape.

Wife said she paid $30.00 for it, but it was worth the laughs.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:48:56 AM EST
A white elephant is a bad gift theyre obliged to KEEP and, ideally, MAINTAIN.

hard to do.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:51:47 AM EST
Ass wiper for fat people-attach toilet paper on one the end so they can get back there.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:51:50 AM EST
I gave my 7 year old nephew a drum kit for his birthday last year.

His parents WERE NOT pleased with me. My little buddy loves me though. I'm his favorite uncle.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 4:57:34 AM EST
If memory serves, there are THREE types of gift exchanges:

White elephant - bad gift
Secret Santa- good gift

And

Dirty Santa - any kind of gift but you draw numbers or determine a draw order. You randomly pick a gift and open it. If you don't like it, you have the option of taking a gift from someone that has opened an earlier gift you like better and giving them yours. The last person to pick has the best position as they can pick from any of the previously opened gifts.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:31:14 AM EST
Go to Asian market and get a 25lb bag of dried hot peppers.
Or look in the canned goods aisle for nastiest stuff you can find like silkworm pupae.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:34:31 AM EST
Pmag then say ahh you probably wont use it, I'll take it. Win Win

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:34:56 AM EST
I always stock up on good old classic fishing reels from yard sales. My gifts at those things are a good way to find out who is a regular guy and who is a meterosexual.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:35:03 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By groovyrascal:
I gave my 7 year old nephew a drum kit for his birthday last year.

His parents WERE NOT pleased with me. My little buddy loves me though. I'm his favorite uncle.

View Quote


perfect white elephant if you hate his parents lzozlkzozl

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:36:31 AM EST
"The Accommodator".

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:37:46 AM EST
Find out how to help needy family gain access to clean drinking water, message me or go to www.amazonoutreach.com
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:48:30 AM EST
[Last Edit: 11/21/2013 5:52:42 AM EST by MotorMouth]
Six pack of cheap canned beer, a pack of smokes and some lottery tickets.

A snuggie

Ron Popeil pocket fisherman. Do they even make them anymore?

Well, hell, just about any of the as seen on TVtype things are usually good , especially if it's one of those things that isn't particularly useful.

Originally Posted By jeepnstein:
I always stock up on good old classic fishing reels from yard sales. My gifts at those things are a good way to find out who is a regular guy and who is a meterosexual.
View Quote


Fishing is boring. I'd guess you'd call me metro unless you brought hunting stuff . . . which reminds me. Other good white elephant gifts for the cubicle set:

Doe in estrus scents, buck bombs, butt out tool, cover scents, etc.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:50:52 AM EST
Live lobster with no claw restraints.

The more aggressive the better.


CURRENT SKUNK JIHAD SCORE-
Arfcom=22! : SKUNKS=4.5

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:51:44 AM EST
A can of WD-40.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:53:41 AM EST
Blockbuster gift card.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:53:48 AM EST
Fifth of Rumpleminze

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:55:02 AM EST


Potentate plenipotentiary sans portfolio
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:57:13 AM EST
Box of chocolates.

Open box, take bite out of each chocolate.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 5:59:06 AM EST
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Originally Posted By rebel_rifle:
Shake weight
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THIS! I did it last Christmas. It was the hit of the party. Everyone wanted their picture taken with it.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 6:00:22 AM EST
Whatever you do, DO NOT find a Rock and paint it White.


Don't do it. People will think yer a cheap bastad.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 6:03:49 AM EST
I don't beleive in the "white elephant" crap. You can come up with a gift that is funny but still useful.

I usually buy those sampler 6-packs of imported beers.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 6:14:16 AM EST
The best laugh we got was one year my uncle got a hair styling kit. The next year, he got a hair dryer.

He's bald.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 6:38:31 AM EST
The first time I did white elephant, I had no idea how much of a joke the gift needed to be. I ended up getting half a box of Kleenex and taped 3 Carl's Jr. BBQ sauces to it. Needless to say, my friend wasn't too happy when he ended up with it.

The next time I went with a toilet seat. It's cheap, and people can actually use it or regift. Plus it's pretty funny.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 6:40:09 AM EST
A bottle of deer pee.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 6:50:04 AM EST
[Last Edit: 11/21/2013 6:54:49 AM EST by isa268]
i got toilet paper last year.....i don't think the guy fully understood what a white elephant is. We won't be making that mistake this year.



ETA: ok it turns out what our office calls White Elephant is more Dirty Santa.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 6:56:37 AM EST
Tenga egg

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 6:59:31 AM EST
when i first married my wife, I got an Old Spice Soap on a Rope gift as a white elephant. That was twenty years ago.

I got the same box again last year from someone else in the family.


Apparently that damn thing has been making the rounds since the mid 80's.



I'd go with that.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 7:00:29 AM EST
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 7:02:34 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Paulup:
Ugly Christmas Sweater
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I am tempted to buy that sweater and wear it on Christmas day
Originally posted by TheCynic: Just when I didn't think this thread could sink any deeper, DK explains how to donkey punch a goose.

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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 7:03:40 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Willmar:
If memory serves, there are THREE types of gift exchanges:

White elephant - bad gift
Secret Santa- good gift

And

Dirty Santa - any kind of gift but you draw numbers or determine a draw order. You randomly pick a gift and open it. If you don't like it, you have the option of taking a gift from someone that has opened an earlier gift you like better and giving them yours. The last person to pick has the best position as they can pick from any of the previously opened gifts.
View Quote

I thought that was when some homeless mall Santa wipes turd on your upper lib with his pecker?
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 7:07:30 AM EST
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 7:10:16 AM EST
Remember those yellow glass grapes from the way back that people would lay on their coffee tables as decoration? That.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 7:12:59 AM EST
[Last Edit: 11/21/2013 7:14:50 AM EST by ALBOB2]

I did this last year. Half the crowd was rolling on the floor laughing, the other half just sat there not understanding the joke.


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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 7:13:53 AM EST
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 7:19:58 AM EST
How about a Bible.
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Link Posted: 11/21/2013 8:11:32 AM EST
personal lubricant with lidocaine
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