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AeroE
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Posted: 10/30/2013 1:12:19 AM
[Last Edit: 10/30/2013 8:10:57 AM by AeroE]

THE IMAGE ABOVE IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT
Stolen from a friend in Reno:

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...

It is not easy to explain Liberty to those that are not familiar with Liberty. Kevin Jamison, on explaining firearm regulation to a Massachusetts lawyer. Jeff City, Mo 18 Apr 13.
Tesseract
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Posted: 10/30/2013 1:16:16 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By AeroE:

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...



Shit, that sounds a lot like the Affordable Cow Pie Act.
The time has come the Walrus said, to speak of many things.
Like sealing wax and sailing ships and jet black AR15's.
smithc6
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Posted: 10/30/2013 1:22:13 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By AeroE:

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...



Arfcom will not bow to sewing terrorists! ~Aimless
ziarifleman
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Posted: 10/30/2013 1:25:22 AM
This is all such madness. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare.
"I am roughing it. I've only got one bar on my cell phone."

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Posted: 10/30/2013 1:42:22 AM
(I think) I see what you did there.
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Zoomies
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:00:43 AM
But I like the kayak I have now! Can I keep it?
bjohnson425
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:02:06 AM
So can I or can't I keep my current boat?
ziarifleman
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:05:05 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By bjohnson425:
So can I or can't I keep my current boat?

I'm sorry, your current boat does not possess blue water capability, sufficiently large fuel tanks, or a comprehensive ELINT suite.

As such, your boat is not seaworthy, and cannot be used. However, call today about the 100' yachts we have available.
"I am roughing it. I've only got one bar on my cell phone."

-Willie
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:07:54 AM
redoubt
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:10:52 AM
[Last Edit: 10/30/2013 2:21:13 AM by redoubt]
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By AeroE:

If the government can force you to buy health care insurance, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...



The ACA isn't about "health care" it's about "health insurance." Insurance that has no guarantee of being accepted by any doctor or hospital.

It irritates me that people conflate health insurance and health care. If people weren't so goddamn stupid they would have known before this piece of shit was passed that you CAN see a doctor without insurance, that you CAN have cheap high-deductible insurance for catastrophic events, and that you CAN have a pre-tax Health Savings Account to pay for the doctor's visits that you don't have insurance to pay for.
Life is about choices.
If you make a mistake once, it's a mistake.
You make the same mistake again, that's a choice.
LOMartin
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:11:27 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By ziarifleman:
This is all such madness. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare.



It's like trailer to a movie.
Rossi
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:11:33 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By AeroE:

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...




Errr.... you just forgot to mention some of the yacht club members who were exempt and given cruise ships.

atomicferret
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:14:44 AM
[Last Edit: 10/30/2013 2:17:21 AM by atomicferret]
I, for one, am excited about this ABA because I have never owned a boat of my own!!! Is there a website that i can use to register/ obtain my boat?

(Full disclosure: I am barely able to tie my own shoes, will i have any problems navigating the site? or navigating in general?)
ScooterInVegas
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:18:47 AM
[Last Edit: 10/30/2013 2:22:13 AM by ScooterInVegas]

pv74
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:20:19 AM
Where can I get my ObamaBoat?
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:24:34 AM
This thread makes me want to motorboat some titties
Good.....?
Bad..............?

I'M THE GUY WITH THE GUN!
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:26:36 AM
well done
SoCalJBT
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:37:47 AM
[Last Edit: 11/10/2013 8:28:11 PM by SoCalJBT]
...
"We own this country." - Clint Eastwood
NineLivez
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Posted: 10/30/2013 2:40:01 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By AeroE:

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...


Awesome, I may be using this with permission.
It will be the first time I will smile while another dude sticks his finger up my ass. - hondaciv
MrZeat
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Posted: 10/30/2013 3:13:08 AM
Don't forget about those who are too lazy to make enough to afford their boats who are given free or heavily subsidized boats...
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Posted: 10/30/2013 3:18:48 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By MrZeat:
Don't forget about those who are too lazy to make enough to afford their boats who are given free or heavily subsidized boats...


I am guessing they get Bayliners?
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Posted: 10/30/2013 3:25:33 AM
This is the same Goverment that destroyed the boating industry with the luxury tax in 1990. Closed the local boat factor. They made really nice boats. I worked there one summer.

FBHO!!!
"Bureau of Alcohol, Snuff, Firearms and Explosives" Google translator. @Everrest
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Posted: 10/30/2013 3:27:01 AM
As the arsonists of the Library of Alexandria said, "If it is in the Koran, it is redundant and ought to be burned. If it disagrees with the Koran, then it especially ought to be burned."
AeroE
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:10:10 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By NineLivez:
Originally Posted By AeroE:

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

...

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...



Awesome, I may be using this with permission.


Use it, I got this from a buddy in Reno.

We can take comfort; it's a tax, so it's okay.

It is not easy to explain Liberty to those that are not familiar with Liberty. Kevin Jamison, on explaining firearm regulation to a Massachusetts lawyer. Jeff City, Mo 18 Apr 13.
hooligan223
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:14:13 AM
[Last Edit: 10/30/2013 10:13:28 AM by hooligan223]
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By LOMartin:
Originally Posted By ziarifleman:
This is all such madness. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare.



It's like trailer to a movie.


One that ends badly.




ETA: If I have to have one though, I'd settle for this one.

Bob243
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:18:33 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By MrZeat:
Don't forget about those who are too lazy to make enough to afford their boats who are given free or heavily subsidized boats...



NWS>>



JVD
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:22:52 AM
I'm going to send this out to a few people.
FBHO
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:23:58 AM
Great just what we need more assholes in the ocean.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:48:26 AM
Awwww shit foools, obama goin give me a mutha fukin boat bitches. did I mention that I can't swim.
dubBinSEA
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:52:46 AM


nice
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:53:27 AM
[Last Edit: 10/30/2013 8:54:01 AM by Jahdai42]
AM I going to need a captains license or training to use this boat, What if I live in the Mojave? Do I get a discount or have to pay double for storage"


EDT:fack my typing sucks after dental surgery.
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4v50
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:55:15 AM
I want a German E-boat. Oh, no one makes them anymore.
cyclone
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:56:35 AM
No, it's not on the approved list

[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By Zoomies:
But I like the kayak I have now! Can I keep it?

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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:56:55 AM
[Last Edit: 10/30/2013 8:57:03 AM by Admiral_Crunch]


I'd rather have the mystery box!
I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite forum on the Citadel.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 8:59:39 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By Admiral_Crunch:
http://www.oocities.org/familyguymoments/208/208_4.jpg

I'd rather have the mystery box!


It could be anything! Maybe even a boat!


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If armed civilians are not a threat to tyranny, why have tyrants always sought to disarm the citizenry?
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:10:27 AM
You'd better put a "this is like an Onion thing" disclaimer on that, or some people here might think it's real and miss the humor.

As for me, I guess I'm off to buy a boat. Though, I'm not sure if the boats available now will be like the ones available when the deadline draws near.
That there were multiple people posting under snowleopard's account is a definite. Whether or not those people all inhabited the same body is open to conjecture.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:13:22 AM
... I'm stealing this
Buy an NRA and ARFCOM membership TODAY
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:14:34 AM
I saw this coming, and bought a boat last year. I was told I could keep the boat I had. I just got a letter cancelling my boats registration stating it did not meet the guidelines. Fucking Govt.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:18:33 AM
The Affordable Gun Act?
Recon_by_Fire
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:30:23 AM
I'd rather have ABCA than AHCA.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:35:23 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By papadufunky:
The Affordable Gun Act?

there would actually be constitutional and statuary basis for this.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:37:07 AM
Reposted to facebook. Getting some real good responses too
Me? I blow shit up.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:50:42 AM
But everybody is going to need a boat someday.
It's common sense that Obama needs to be Impeached for the Good of the Children.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:51:11 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By papadufunky:
The Affordable Gun Act?


This one might have "legs".
PRETEND or DEFEND. It really is that simple.
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RECONSIX
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Posted: 10/30/2013 9:58:21 AM
[Last Edit: 10/30/2013 10:01:05 AM by RECONSIX]

You would think that in this day and age, with all of the information out there and the many ways there are to gather it, people wouldn't be as damned dumb as they are.

It seems the only time people are concerned about facts and data is when it comes to stripping away our 2nd Amendment rights, then they're all over that shit.

Great post OP, buy your friend a beer, or whatever beverage they prefer.

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slowkota1
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Posted: 10/30/2013 10:01:50 AM
lol
"I HOPE THAT YOU REMEMBER YOUR GOD GIVEN FREEDOMS, AND REFUSE TO COMPLY WITH THIS REGIMES INTENTIONAL DESTRUCTION OF OUR ONCE GREAT COUNTRY, AND DIE IN A PILE OF SMOKING BRASS." MOLON LABE !"
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Posted: 10/30/2013 10:06:13 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By gumbii:
Reposted to facebook. Getting some real good responses too

SAME HERE
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Posted: 10/30/2013 10:16:05 AM
I know you're joking, but don't give those idiots any ideas!
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Posted: 10/30/2013 10:17:37 AM
[Jump To Reply]Originally Posted By papadufunky:
The Affordable Gun Assault Rifle and Armor Piercing Ammunition Act?



FIFY
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Posted: 10/30/2013 10:20:05 AM
Totally against the gov't telling anyone what to buy, but my question is what is the answer when you have people who can afford HC coverage but do not and than the bill falls on the tax payer to care for them.
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Posted: 10/30/2013 10:22:21 AM
So this means that everyone gets a free boat, and I will no longer to make the payments on my current boat?

Yeah for ObamaBoats!
"It seems that even Allah's promise of paradise loses a bit of it's luster when there's a dude reigning death on your buddies from 600 meters out." - John_Wayne777 on Battle for Al Najaf 04/04/04
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