Every time I place an order online, subscribe to a magazine, or anything that I fear is going to put me on a junk mailing/calling list, I give them my dog's first name.  When required, I provide his age (1:7 dog years), occupation (security consultant), marital status (single)...


 My dog gets all kinds of junk mail and telemarketing calls.  NRA applications, credit card applications, Republican fund raisers, and he even got a call from a dating service once.  





The call went something like this:


Me:      Hello?


Caller: Can I speak to Fido (not my dog's real name)?


Me:      Uh... why would you like to speak with him?  


Caller: It's rather personal.  Who is this?  


Me:      I manage Fido's personal business.  I can't provide my name.  


Caller: We are calling about Fido's health insurance.  


Me:      He has no health insurance.  


Caller: That's why I'm calling.  We have an opportunity to provide health insurance for Fido thru our company.  There are opportunities, but you have to act now for Obamacare...


Me:      Fido is my dog.  Can you provide health insurance for him?


Caller: Uhhhhh..... no.  Is everyone in your home covered by health insurance?  We have some opportunities...


Me:      I don't answer those types of questions on the phone.  


Caller: Okay, if you don't want health insurance, I can disconnect this call.  


Me:      Okay  -click-

 

Did you ask if your veterinarian was in network?

Why did you take the call?  You should of put the dog on the line and let him decide the merits of the product.

Someone registered your dog to vote under the democrat party last election.

Can your dog get an obama phone too?  Maybe the dog could get welfare too?  I must check into this.  All my dog does is lie around all day and lick it's balls -- perfect FSA candidate.

 

I have 2 dogs, and shall soon have a third. I think I need my fair share of Obama money!

I put down my cat's name for things.  He gets grocery store coupons now which really help out.  LOL.

PETA will be after OP.  

As a joke I once used my cat's name on something I sent in the mail.  Apparently, whoever it was sold names and addresses pretty freely, because from then on Ganas McDrinkerbean was getting a slew of junk mail, to include offers for credit cards.  I sent in one of the credit card applications, but either due to her age, her lack of an SSN, or her being without financially compensatory employment, they did not give her the card.

OP failed. I would have jumped on Zerocare for my dog

Same here. Makes it that much funnier.

Hahahaha nice . The cat needs to keep trying though