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Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:02:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/14/2013 4:04:33 AM EDT by taterhead]
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:15:15 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Jerryjeff:
One of my finest qualities as a man is the ability to shit and piss anytime, anywhere.

You guys are pussies.




Jerryjeff sums it up perfectly.

Some of you people have way too many hang-ups when it comes to something as simple as taking a piss or a shit.
It's a fucking bathroom! Man up and treat it as part of your man's world.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:19:25 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:21:12 AM EDT
Originally Posted By a-bare:
Originally Posted By Jerryjeff:
One of my finest qualities as a man is the ability to shit and piss anytime, anywhere.

You guys are pussies.




Jerryjeff sums it up perfectly.

Some of you people have way too many hang-ups when it comes to something as simple as taking a piss or a shit.
It's a fucking bathroom! Man up and treat it as part of your man's world.


How many would be physicially incapable of using a job site porta shitter???
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:23:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By KennyW1983:
Please. Never talk to another man in the men's room.

Its a zone of silence.


When talking in the men's room NEVER make eye contact!!

Or penis contact!!

Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:27:19 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Timco:
Originally Posted By a-bare:
Originally Posted By Jerryjeff:
One of my finest qualities as a man is the ability to shit and piss anytime, anywhere.

You guys are pussies.




Jerryjeff sums it up perfectly.

Some of you people have way too many hang-ups when it comes to something as simple as taking a piss or a shit.
It's a fucking bathroom! Man up and treat it as part of your man's world.


How many would be physicially incapable of using a job site porta shitter???

This. They would probably run out screaming if they saw the trough urinal at Joe's Jost in Long Beach right next to the bathroom door. 5' long trough to piss in, and a toilet with no stall next to it, and the door swings in from the bar, so privacy isn't an option. Really funny watching nervous pissers in there.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:37:21 AM EDT

I piss all over the place on purpose, you should see the stalls when I have the runs.

Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:40:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Going_Commando:

Originally Posted By Timco:
Originally Posted By a-bare:
Originally Posted By Jerryjeff:
One of my finest qualities as a man is the ability to shit and piss anytime, anywhere.

You guys are pussies.




Jerryjeff sums it up perfectly.

Some of you people have way too many hang-ups when it comes to something as simple as taking a piss or a shit.
It's a fucking bathroom! Man up and treat it as part of your man's world.


How many would be physicially incapable of using a job site porta shitter???

This. They would probably run out screaming if they saw the trough urinal at Joe's Jost in Long Beach right next to the bathroom door. 5' long trough to piss in, and a toilet with no stall next to it, and the door swings in from the bar, so privacy isn't an option. Really funny watching nervous pissers in there.


"Please do not place cigarette butts in the urinal! It makes them soggy and hard to light!"
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 4:43:26 AM EDT
I don't have any hangups when it comes to using the mens room. I have been in so many locker rooms, public and military bathrooms that where you stand, how you piss or what you are looking at doesn't even register on my give a shit meter.

Piss, wash, leave.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 5:02:35 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 5:14:14 AM EDT
I had a friend who would go into the stalls and piss all over the toilet paper rolls.

Poor guy who had to take a dump would grab a hand full of soaking wet piss rolls.
Total douche move.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:08:08 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/14/2013 6:18:18 AM EDT by KTMsx]
Originally Posted By wootizzle:
Dong browsing is always fun.


and I like turtles.





I'll only use the stall if I absolutely have to. And I will lift the seat and flush with my shoe.


Why not just piss on the seat?
If you are not planning to sit on it, what's the problem.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:09:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By E__WOK:
I don't like going into a stall to take a piss as I don't want to touch the door, latch, or lift the toilet seat.

For some unknown reason, everybody seems to miss the urinal and piss all over the walls or floor. Thus I keep my distance from the urinal so I don't get splash back which will also keep my belt from hitting the porcelain and I don't step in the piss.

It doesn't mean you are allowed to look at my dong. Well, maybe a quick glance or two but no more than that.

I am honored that you peeked at it four or five times while trying to remain stealthy but it was totally obvious on what you were doing. What I didn't like was that you didn't give me any feedback on what you saw.


Gay, much?
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:12:23 AM EDT
Originally Posted By MANIAQ:
I forgot what I was going to say.. but I use stalls unless there's none available because the urinal kind of puts me in a vulnerable position. I don't talk to anyone, I don't look at anyone's dick. I go in, I do my business, I wash my hands, and then I leave. What the fuck else is there to it?


I piss with one hand on my gun and one on my glock.
I have always feared someone kicking me square in the lower back and getting hurled forward into the flush lever pointing out of the top of a urinal.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:16:13 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 55sixer:
some quality bathroom etiquette in this thread

Keep the spacing at the urinals at a maximum until there is no other option

if you're gazing at other dudes dongs.... you're a homo

Unless its an emergency, don't sit down in a stall right next to a stall where a man is already working. Respect the zone

In a nutshell.... Going into a mens public restroom should be like ordering soup from the soup nazi on "Seinfeld". ie I'll take a large piss in the urinal at the end, or I'll have a #2 in the 4th stall

Dont fuck around, get in , get done, get out.


Speaking of cock------every single time I see your avatar out of the corner of my eye I think it's a dick.

Don't know if that's on purpose but it does make me read your posts with a homo spin. Very confusing.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:16:34 AM EDT
Originally Posted By wootizzle:
Dong browsing is always fun.


and I like turtles.















I'll only use the stall if I absolutely have to. And I will lift the seat and flush with my shoe.


Another man doomed if SHTF happens. Oh noes, I am out of anti-bacterial wash!!!!

Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:22:32 AM EDT
Know how I know none of you would make it in the Military?

Getting your junk stared at while you piss is a weekly occurance!
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:27:54 AM EDT
Not my problem, one of the many nice things about working from home
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:28:20 AM EDT
1,3,5 rule.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:28:31 AM EDT
People really need to get over themselves. Someone peeing in the urinal next to you does not not mean they want to look at your penis ( assuming you have one).
Maybe the other urinal was full of paper towels, or hadn't been flushed in six weeks, the floor in front of it an inch thick with yellow residue. I don't know why people do these things, but nonetheless they do.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:32:04 AM EDT
This is why I always fluff it a little before I pull it out. Best part is when you time it just right and turn your head to look at them while they're sneaking a glance. When they know they're busted and they look up at you with guilty eyes, give 'em this look:


Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:33:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TheWenisPrinkle:
Originally Posted By Sturmgeist:
WTF is up with people who drop their pants down to their ankles when they use a urinal?

I've never, ever done that.


Don't be hatin.


I stand at least 3 foot from the urinal and drop them underwear and all to the floor. Place hands on hips and sing "Here comes the sun".


Hey it's my thing.

LOL!
Thanks for the snort of Dr Pepper! LOL
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:33:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/14/2013 6:38:08 AM EDT by OnlytheTip]
Call me a homophobe if you wish to, but I had a dude do a uncomfortably prolonged junk check once. That disgusting scene plays back in my head every time I use a public restroom so I piss in the stalls exclusively now. If they have small wall between the urinals, I'll piss in them. I caught him out of my peripheral vision and nearly smashed that fuckers head against the tile wall, I asked him "What the fuck are you looking at", his stumbling, mumbling answer was "I'm sorry I was just daydreaming". I zipped up and told to him to daydream looking at his own fucking dick. When I joined the Army we had open showers and it never made me feel uncomfortable, mainly because I didn't feel I was being dick checked by a bunch of 11 series. When I take my son into a public restroom I'll go wash my hands to make sure the Pedo's aren't getting their jollies.

I don't touch anything I don't need to, I flip the seat up with the sole of my shoe and plush (If it isn't an auto flush) with my foot. Elbow to swing the door open, public restrooms for the most part are nasty as fuck. But I'm kind of a germaphobe anyway.

ETA: Public restrooms are a no eye contact, no smiling area.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:36:00 AM EDT
Took me awhile . . .but I found the perfect GIF


Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:41:23 AM EDT
One thing I've always been perplexed by is the astounding number of dudes that have to spit in the urinal prior to, or during, their piss.

Why do you feel compelled to spit? I don't get it.

Muscle-memory reaction from always using spit lube for buttsecks?

Homos.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:41:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/14/2013 6:42:11 AM EDT by OnlytheTip]
Originally Posted By ultramagbrion:
Took me awhile . . .but I found the perfect GIF


http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y214/ultramagbrion/GOOFY-FUNNY/1218984583135.gif


Who the fuck leans into the pisser using their hands or elbows?

I hate those fuckers that stand two feet from the pisser with one hand on the hip, the other holding their johnson, and leaning backwards like their doing some form of yoga pose.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:42:34 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 8mmDale:
I had a super secret bathroom on campus I would go to when I had to shit. They were small bathrooms but no one ever used them. But on several occasions while taking care of business, someone came in and used the other (only two) stalls. That's just rude. I search campus for the bathroom as far from life as possible, and some dick head comes in to shit right next to me. That should be a loss of a man card.


I call that the Executive Washroom. LMAO! I do a handfull of automotive tradeshows per year and the last thing you want to do is use the main bathroom a bunch of old dudes have been hot racking for the last few hours. The hot-stench blowing out of those is too much to take. Almost always I can find a restroom that is quiet, is still clean and the toilet seat isn't 98 degrees from all the ass that's been sitting on it.

Link Posted: 5/14/2013 6:56:58 AM EDT
We need to see whether there is a correlation between the "scared of a bathroom" crowd and the "security beard" crowd. I'm thinking so.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:00:58 AM EDT
NICE WATCH!
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:07:50 AM EDT
Why do folks undue their belts to pee? Does your zipper not work?


Is it impolite to ask the guy next to you if he want to cross streams?


How about being in the stall while talking on your cell phone....are you really that busy you cannot enjoy a little quiet time?


Do you guys Seinfeld your show laces if they accidently become untied anywhere near stall or urinal?


Is the wall above the urinal the official place to leave boogers?

Can you use the handicapped stall if no one else is in the bathroom? Personally I like the extra room and handle.

Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:09:04 AM EDT
So you use your germ phobia as an excuse to get other dudes to look at your junk?
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:18:43 AM EDT
The best urinal set-ups have those barriers bolted to the wall between each one.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:23:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By stre-tch:
People are crazy for sure - just like using the stall next to you when others are open farther away.

It could be worse. On the floor where our offices are, there is a guy who works for a different company who sound like he needs a cigarette after taking a piss or a dump. He moans, and sighs like its pure ecstacy Everybody on the floor knows to not be in there when he comes in because you can't hold a straight face. He walks in with is coffee and newspaper in the morning. Seriously I want to hand him a cigarette under the stall and ask him if it was good enough



He's probably fapping.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:24:28 AM EDT
Originally Posted By AISTech:
Know how I know none of you would make it in the Military?

Getting your junk stared at while you piss is a weekly occurance!


Let alone the concept of trying to use a haji porta-potty in some third-world country while wearing full budy-armor!
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:26:42 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:32:45 AM EDT
Originally Posted By FrankSymptoms:
I don't have that problem.

I don't have a "schlong."

I have a "schlort."


Leave me out of this. Wait, what?
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:40:04 AM EDT
Try living in FL and wearing flip flops all the time.

Also: It should be a Federal Law that all bathroom doors open OUT. Enter restroom, wash hand after touching nasty door handle. Proceed to relieve yourself. Wash hands again. Do the turn around and push the door open with a shoulder move to exit. Hands still clean.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:50:42 AM EDT
I just use the garbage can.

In the ladies' room.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:53:01 AM EDT
Originally Posted By KennyW1983:
Please. Never talk to another man in the men's room.

Its a zone of silence.


This
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:55:24 AM EDT
Apparently you guys have never had to shit in a bucket right in plain view of an entire company bivouac, or shared a pisser with another dude. Not much modesty or concern over normal rules of the bathroom after experiences like that.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 7:56:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By E__WOK:
which will also keep my belt from hitting the porcelain

What?

You don't just unzip, pull through and go? What are you doing with your belt that this is a worry at the urinal?
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:01:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By David_ESM:

Originally Posted By E__WOK:
which will also keep my belt from hitting the porcelain

What?

You don't just unzip, pull through and go? What are you doing with your belt that this is a worry at the urinal?


Not everybody wears pants that allow that, but it's nice to know it is such a concern to you.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:03:02 AM EDT
If you're standing way back from the urinal to avoid stepping in piss, you're part of the problem.

Everybody drips at the end of the urine stream, no?
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:09:32 AM EDT
The worst is bar bathrooms. One stall should be reserved for making poops, and nothing else. You mother fuckers, ohh you motherfuckers. You walk into the ONLY shitter, and (maybe) unzip your pants before pissing all over everything. Piss on the walls, piss on the floor, piss on the ceiling, piss on every aspect of the toilet. Some of us would rather face a fucking firing squad than have to shit in a public restroom. It seems that in the rare event that I do have to use the public crapper, it's always the piss soaked one that's the only thing around for a thousand miles.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:09:45 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DangerJ:
One thing I've always been perplexed by is the astounding number of dudes that have to spit in the urinal prior to, or during, their piss.

Why do you feel compelled to spit? I don't get it.

Spotting round.

And whats with all the washing of hands when done pissing?

My cock is the cleanest part of my body, let alone the room.

Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:15:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bohr_Adam:
Originally Posted By David_ESM:

Originally Posted By E__WOK:
which will also keep my belt from hitting the porcelain

What?

You don't just unzip, pull through and go? What are you doing with your belt that this is a worry at the urinal?


Not everybody wears pants that allow that, but it's nice to know it is such a concern to you.

Pants... That you wear with a belt... But has no zipper?

I know not what you speak of.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:17:31 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Richard-ar15:
If you're standing way back from the urinal to avoid stepping in piss, you're part of the problem.

...


Part? No, they are the problem, just too dense to realize it.

The same with the people afraid to sit on the toilet, the hoversquatters are the reason or the shit on the seats.

Bunch of nasty-ass people who can't live in a society with basic norms of cooperation, and have to ruin it for everyone else.
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:18:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By KevinCa316:
I only piss in stalls

And next time, please lift the seat.
I hate it when I have to clean piss off the seat before taking a dump.

Do you piss all over the seat at home too?
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:27:11 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 19suburban96:
I'd love to see some of you guys in an open tent with a bunch of shitters all lined up


we would play cards
Link Posted: 5/14/2013 8:27:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/14/2013 8:30:08 AM EDT by DaveE111]
I just don't know what happened to men. Men used to be tough and didn't worry about a little germ shit or getting your feet wet. Good lord, now half of them carry hand sanitizer in their pocket.

I remember the heyday of manhood. Pissing in the stalls in Ubon, Manila, Angeles city, Korat, Chiang Mai, Penang, and Phucat. Places where an American shlong would cause jaws to drop; you were proud of it and didn't hide it.

I guess the glory days are gone - back to your tissues and handiwipes.
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