My aunt and I are (or possibly were) incredibly close. I love(d) her very much.

My wife and I adopted an African American infant fourteen months ago. He was a day old then. My wife and I are white as ghosts, but race was never and is not an issue for us. That's our son and we love him madly because we waited so long to find him. He was made for us and I do not doubt that one bit.

Today my aunt and her "boyfriend" visited. I put it in quotes because he's only about 25 and she's pushing 60.

Our son has discovered the joys of digging for gold in his nose. We correct him each time he does it and are trying to break that habit before it gets any worse. Well, Mr. "Boyfriend" took is upon himself to grab my son and smack him on the hand and leg for picking his nose. He did this with no warning, no verbal correction (not that he should have done that either), and this was the first time the "boyfriend" had met any of us.

It should be noted that Elijah (son) was crying so hard from being smacked that he kept losing his breath. My wife had to take him into the bathroom and keep wetting his little face with a cloth to try to calm him down.

Somewhere over the course of me yelling at "Boyfriend" to never touch my son again . . . he made an incredibly derogatory statement about race and how you have to break "them" while they're young. I don't think I've ever been angrier. My ears were ringing, every muscle was rigid, and I probably had blood pressure at stroke level. It was like a red haze blurred my vision and I was on him before I even realized I was doing it. I shoved him out the back screen door and he threw a punch at me, clipping my ear. I introduced him to what it's like picking on someone your own size. Suffice it to say . . . I discovered why he would hit on a baby. He is a puny and worthless piece of shit.

I wanted to press charges but they left (practically running) when my wife went to retrieve the phone to call 911. Don't know the guy's last name. No clue where he lives, works, or anything else. I'm not certain my aunt would provide that information either. I'm mad as hell that she just sat there like a useless boar hog tit and didn't say a damn thing. SHE should have been kicking his ass too as far as I'm concerned.

I'm still attempting to calm down.

I can't decide if I should be ashamed of myself for going straight into boiling mad or proud that my fatherly instinct and need to protect is very much intact.

All I know is that someone laying a hand on my child flipped a switch in me that has never been flipped before.

God, I'm still mad as hell.


ETA: I wanted to clarify a few points ––- in my anger and haste to get this out I left out a few things:

This asshole first slapped Elijah on the hand and then pulled him up by that hand and hit him even harder on the leg while he was dangling a few feet off the floor. Asshole didn't strike Eli's butt. He hit him on the outside of his thigh on his bare skin. It was THAT hit that caused me to swell up three of my knuckles on the douchebag's face and play kickball with his ribs.

As for the racial slur (I couldn't force myself to type it initially):

His actual words were (according to my wife and my hazy red memory), "You gotta be a co*n dog, Daddy, when you got little co*ns like this running around. Otherwise they'll become porch m*nkey thugs. You have to teach THEM n*glets while they're young."


THE DAY AFTER UPDATE:

We took Elijah in to see the doctor today, explained everything, and he sent us over to the hospital for X-rays. Elijah would NOT sit still so this wound up being a humongous deal where they lightly sedated him via IV, took the X-rays and then had to do a CT scan because there was an anomaly on the X-ray. I tell ya, guys, my heart just about dropped into my gut thinking I had let him spend the night on an injured arm/shoulder.

The good news is that he is okay. If anything, the shoulder may be sprained. He let out a holler when the doctor pressed into his armpit with his fingers and against his shoulder with his thumb. We can use a sling, but the doctor said he probably would not leave it on and he won't move it more than he has to if it's hurting him. This is true. It's his left arm and shoulder, he's left handed, but he's using his right arm for his sippy cup and to play with stuff.

He's a very sleepy little boy and conked out on the way home from the hospital and is STILL sleeping peacefully. I may have to turn in my man-card, but I straight up got a lump in my throat and had to grit my teeth to keep from crying when they were putting in the IV. He kept looking at me and saying, "Da-yee, stop!"

We did stop afterwards and speak with our pal at the Sheriff's office. He made copies of the hospital's discharge instructions and stated he would follow up with my aunt to see if she would give up the guy's information. We do not wish to seek any charges at this time (I know that will blow a lot of minds) because the douchebag is from out of state (information via my cousin) and was on the first flight he could get out of here. Our insurance covered everything at the hospital and I really don't want to deal with the dickhead any further. Eli's okay.

My aunt apparently came to the house while we were at the hospital and left a note for us to call her. I haven't. I'm still trying to decide how to handle her. The non-reaction and how she up and left with him doesn't sit well with me. My wife says she was probably stunned and just wanted to get him out of here as quickly as possible.

Like I said in my original post ––- I love my aunt dearly. She has always been there for me and has NEVER let me down before. I'll call her in a while and encourage her to give the police the guy's name. I think how I react will depend greatly on whether or not she cooperates with that information.

Thanks for all the advice, support, and even the criticism. A smart man learns just as much through people who disagree with him and I thank you for taking the time to share your point of view.

Well, I made it through my first big challenge as a dad. If that's the worst thing I go through ––- I'm okay with that. Whew.

Some people absolutely require a good thrashing.
Glad you were on hand to deliver such.

The racial epithet towards my kid would have been enough to beat the sense into him.

Does she have money?

I agree with him. Somebody needed to be taught a lesson to break "them" of that sort of behavior.

However the "them" was 25 year old douchebags.

OP...way to go. I probably wouldn't even have yelled at him first. It probably would have turned physical as soon as my son left the room. On the other hand, I never understood why people call the cops for things like this. Seems like you handled it just fine.

I see nothing wrong with what you did. In fact it raised my bp just reading it.

She's always been fairly well off. Takes about four vacations a year to places like Bora Bora, Tahiti, Italy ...

I thought sharing this would be cathartic and release some of my tension, but I'm still so damn pissed I'm shaking all over. At times like this - - - I wish I was the drinking type. My heart is pounding, ears are still ringing, and this happened a few hours ago. I hate letting that bastard affect me like this.

Go with the fatherly instinct on this one.

Whether you know his details or not, you need to notify the police on the non-emergency line. If you don't, it can come back and bite you in the ass.

Go make your son laugh. A child's laugh cures a lot of things

Just the tbought of someone else putting their hands on my kid was enough for me to step away from the keyboard and take a walk outside before responding-and I don't have a hot temper.

Glad it didn't escalate further-you did good OP.

The emotional response to protect a child from danger is profound-doubly so when it's your own kid.

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Oh yeah, a good fight will leave you twitching, jolting and popping with adrenalin for a couple hours afterwards.

IMHO You should never be ashamed to beat someones ass, who you know in your heart deserves it.

Never fuck w a mans kids. Good job OP.

Pull his hand out of his nose and say, let's not pick our nose. Worked for both my boys. What kind of question is this anyways?

I was wondering how you and your aunt adopted a kid...

How many tats did he have?

Every good parent has that switch. Good to know yours works.

The young "gentleman" should be on his knees thanking God that he was not killed. I have never experienced the "red haze" myself, but have heard it described before. I think it must have primordial origins. It often leads to and ends up in lethal actions.

If the wife never followed through with the 911 call I would phone that in before someone else establishes themselves as the complainant if they have not done so already.

Dumbest thing I've read all day.

Some people freeze up at the chance of altercation. She may not have really known what to do. Wait and see what her reaction is after she's had a chance to process.

i would have done more than punch him a few times. I would have taken him for a little ride with nobody around and "broken" him.