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 xxtdxx
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Joined: Oct 2011  UT, USA
 Posts: 168 Feedback: 0% (0) |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:32:30 PM
THE IMAGE ABOVE IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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M4tty
Molōn labe
Team Member
Joined: Jul 2008 VA, USA
Posts: 3215 Feedback: 100% (24) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:34:12 PM
Bless her heart, I could write a book.
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Silver_Surfer
I4NI
Team Member
Joined: Mar 2001 HI, USA
Posts: 18766 Feedback: 100% (2) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:35:06 PM
[Last Edit: 8/8/2012 7:35:50 PM by Silver_Surfer]
She watches MSNBC
She believes them.  |
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jjrockbush
Uneasy Rider
Team Member
Joined: Feb 2005 FL, USA
Posts: 6814 Feedback: 100% (39) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:35:38 PM
My Wife watches lots of trash T.V.
I don't give a shit. We have 4 T.V.'s, I watch whatever I want too. |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:36:13 PM
Any and everything.. You name it!
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sdboy
Life is tough, wear a helmet
Team Member
Joined: Nov 2008 SD, USA
Posts: 3254 Feedback: 100% (1) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:36:28 PM
Leaves the toilet lid down.
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NoloContendere
Of Counsel
Life Member
Joined: Apr 2007 USA
Posts: 11526 Feedback: 100% (6) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:37:10 PM
Toilet paper rolls.... You finish it, you put a new one on....
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:38:29 PM
I can't stand it when my wife does anal masturbation and then licks her fingers. She thinks that turns me on. Let's just say that licking your finger after putting it up your ass is just wrong and an indication of mental issues. And yes I'm seeing a lawyer since this happened last week.
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Plasteredtex
I'll Take Another
Team Member
Joined: Mar 2011 TX, USA
Posts: 4153 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:38:38 PM
she lacks common sense sometimes, but other than that she is great
from last night "im supprised that the humidity is so low here, since we are so close to the ocean and everything, because thats where humidity comes from" we are 350 miles from the ocean  |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:39:48 PM
Originally Posted By Kriptonic:
I can't stand it when my wife does anal masturbation and then licks her fingers. She thinks that turns me on. Let's just say that licking your finger after putting it up your ass is just wrong and an indication of mental issues. And yes I'm seeing a lawyer since this happened last week. hahahahaha WTF |
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NoloContendere
Of Counsel
Life Member
Joined: Apr 2007 USA
Posts: 11527 Feedback: 100% (6) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:41:40 PM
Originally Posted By Kriptonic:
I can't stand it when my wife does anal masturbation and then licks her fingers. She thinks that turns me on. Let's just say that licking your finger after putting it up your ass is just wrong and an indication of mental issues. And yes I'm seeing a lawyer since this happened last week. Ok.... Thanks, my problems don't seem at all bad anymore. |
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BrownSunshine
HMFIC
Team Member
Joined: Jan 2011 KS, USA
Posts: 490 Feedback: 100% (4) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:42:17 PM
I hate it when I am dog tired and she walks in wearing nothing but a set of skimpy underwear looking all seductive then starts to undress me.
Seriously woman, I need sleep!!!! |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:42:58 PM
She clears her throat every 15 minutes....
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stutzcattle
This far...And no farther.
Team Member
Joined: Nov 2008 NE, USA
Posts: 10569 Feedback: 100% (26) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:43:02 PM
She keeps talking while I'm annoying her.
That's really about it. |
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zaskar017
Member
Team Member
Joined: Jun 2007 FL, USA
Posts: 10882 Feedback: 100% (28) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:43:28 PM
Originally Posted By Kriptonic:
I can't stand it when my wife does anal masturbation and then licks her fingers. She thinks that turns me on. Let's just say that licking your finger after putting it up your ass is just wrong and an indication of mental issues. And yes I'm seeing a lawyer since this happened last week.  |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:44:28 PM
Originally Posted By NoloContendere:
Toilet paper rolls.... You finish it, you put a new one on.... NO SHIT!
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:45:21 PM
Originally Posted By NoloContendere:
Originally Posted By Kriptonic:
I can't stand it when my wife does anal masturbation and then licks her fingers. She thinks that turns me on. Let's just say that licking your finger after putting it up your ass is just wrong and an indication of mental issues. And yes I'm seeing a lawyer since this happened last week. Ok.... Thanks, my problems don't seem at all bad anymore. No kidding. 
I shall now HAPPILY close closet door after her.  |
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Johnny_Reno
Jackass Identification Specialist
Team Member
Joined: Apr 2002 USA
Posts: 28541 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:45:31 PM
Originally Posted By Kriptonic:
I can't stand it when my wife does anal masturbation and then licks her fingers. She thinks that turns me on. Let's just say that licking your finger after putting it up your ass is just wrong and an indication of mental issues. And yes I'm seeing a lawyer since this happened last week. Okay. It turns out that I thought that I had something, but as it turns out, it looks as though I don't have a single issue any longer. |
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Covert8645
I'm out.
Team Member
Joined: Aug 2005 IN, USA
Posts: 10318 Feedback: 100% (1) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:45:40 PM
My wife never cleans up after herself.
She never puts shit where it belongs. She never puts shit back when she's done with it. |
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Caboose314
Fightin' Texas Aggie
Team Member
Joined: Dec 2008 USA
Posts: 4626 Feedback: 100% (1) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:46:46 PM
GF's a vegetarian, so 90% of what I like to cook is off the table.
Her reason? At 8 years old she was told she had to finish her plate, and that the only excuse for not doing so was to become a vegetarian. 18 years later she's still stubborn  |
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Plasteredtex
I'll Take Another
Team Member
Joined: Mar 2011 TX, USA
Posts: 4155 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:47:45 PM
Originally Posted By Covert8645:
My wife never cleans up after herself. She never puts shit where it belongs. She never puts shit back when she's done with it. mine will try on four different outfits before leaving the house. dosent hang the other three up, throws them in the corner, after a week it is a massive pile, and she thinks she has to wash them after being in the floor
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36_gauge
I am Zoidberg. (V) (;,,,;) (V)
Team Member
Joined: Apr 2009  TUR
Posts: 17038 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:48:22 PM
Originally Posted By Covert8645:
My wife never cleans up after herself. She never puts shit where it belongs. She never puts shit back when she's done with it. Originally Posted By Kriptonic:
I can't stand it when my wife does anal masturbation and then licks her fingers. She thinks that turns me on. Let's just say that licking your finger after putting it up your ass is just wrong and an indication of mental issues. And yes I'm seeing a lawyer since this happened last week.  |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:48:45 PM
Mine does an impression of Darth Vader when sleeping
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:50:06 PM
[Last Edit: 8/8/2012 7:50:35 PM by anesvick]
Wife is not the most consistent person in the world regarding the kids, and she and they suffer for it, when she goes off the deep end at them.
Me, I'm just a big, fuzzy, loveable asshole 100% of the time, no ass-beatings even needed anymore, a few menacingly whispered words shape them up real quick. It was telling for her when both of the older kids brought that up in family therapy, and how they trusted me more. |
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45ProCarry
Always support the U.S. military
Team Member
Joined: Jan 2004 NV, USA
Posts: 2474 Feedback: 100% (86) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:50:09 PM
My wife can't tell a joke or repeat a movie quote. It's like watching old episodes of NCIS where Ziva is constantly fucking up American phrases.
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:50:24 PM
My wife leaves the lights on when she walks out of the room and forgets...She's much better than she was when we got married but it drives me up the wall to 'waste' electricity.
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Silver_Surfer
I4NI
Team Member
Joined: Mar 2001 HI, USA
Posts: 18768 Feedback: 100% (2) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:53:25 PM
Originally Posted By WonkDeMollyDeHonk:
Mine does an impression of Darth Vader when sleeping Serious question. Do you sleep in the same bed? I had to kick the wife out to sleep in another room.. Sex life went to shit but I can sleep now. |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:54:01 PM
My wife loves to plant things in the spring. When they die it's my fault because I didn't take care of them.
She is not allowed in a grocery store. She buys the stupidest shit that is way too expensive. Never, ever, turns off the TV or light when she leaves the bedroom and I'm somewhere else in the house. |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:54:01 PM
Originally Posted By Covert8645:
My wife never cleans up after herself. She never puts shit where it belongs. She never puts shit back when she's done with it. I must have her sister.. |
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VACaver
I really do know my ass from a hole in the ground!
Team Member
Joined: Jun 2006 VA, USA
Posts: 16556 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 7:54:03 PM
Mine will never wait for me to finish something before butting it to say, "Don't forget to..." or "Make sure you..."
It irritates the living shit outta me. |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:55:34 PM
Originally Posted By Caboose314:
GF's a vegetarian, so 90% of what I like to cook is off the table. Her reason? At 8 years old she was told she had to finish her plate, and that the only excuse for not doing so was to become a vegetarian. 18 years later she's still stubborn Ah you have it easy! My wife is a vegan....
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Posted: 8/8/2012 7:57:16 PM
My wife can't close a drawer or a cabinet door to save her life. This terrible disease is genetic becasue both my kids have it too.
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Posted: 8/8/2012 8:00:19 PM
Originally Posted By NoloContendere:
Toilet paper rolls.... You finish it, you put a new one on.... omfg my old lady finishes the toilet paper gets a new one and just sets it on top of the old card board tube. There's smart lazy and fucking retarded lazy. if you want to be lazy leave your damn dish on the table couch wherever don't be half lazy and just throw it in the sink. also a recent one I dropped an icecube on the floor whilst cleaning out the putrid and moldy leftovers in the fridge and i was thinking to myself I know she's going to come in here and bitch about the icecube while i'm elbow deep in stinky fucking mold 1 minute later wouldn't you know... she got an earful for that one |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 8:01:02 PM
Talks.
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Posted: 8/8/2012 8:04:52 PM
Originally Posted By TheJacket:
Talks. |
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Forgetfull
Have a spec-TACTICAL day
Team Member
Joined: Sep 2008 AZ, USA
Posts: 6389 Feedback: 100% (10) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:06:30 PM
Originally Posted By Silver_Surfer:
Originally Posted By WonkDeMollyDeHonk:
Mine does an impression of Darth Vader when sleeping Serious question. Do you sleep in the same bed? I had to kick the wife out to sleep in another room.. Sex life went to shit but I can sleep now. I hate this. |
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THEBAUMER
White Cracker
Team Member
Joined: Nov 2004 FL, USA
Posts: 5143 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:08:42 PM
Not closing a fucking cabinet door!!!!!
My bald head can't take it any more! |
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akcaribouhunter
Member
Team Member
Joined: Feb 2008 AK, USA
Posts: 5470 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:08:42 PM
Originally Posted By Donner_und_Blitzen: Originally Posted By Covert8645: My wife never cleans up after herself. She never puts shit where it belongs. She never puts shit back when she's done with it. I must have her sister.. +2 |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 8:09:46 PM
Originally Posted By Forgetfull:
Originally Posted By Silver_Surfer:
Originally Posted By WonkDeMollyDeHonk:
Mine does an impression of Darth Vader when sleeping Serious question. Do you sleep in the same bed? I had to kick the wife out to sleep in another room.. Sex life went to shit but I can sleep now. I hate this. I've considered kicking her out of bed a few times she just gets up and goes to the couch after i roll her over enough times |
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Fullpower
Member
Team Member
Joined: Nov 2008 AK, USA
Posts: 4935 Feedback: 100% (16) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:10:32 PM
Originally Posted By xxtdxx:
My wife watches the kardashians. I hate that show. Makes me want to rip the dish off my roof. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile DO not permit television in kitchen. You have shown weakness, it will be harder to re-establish your mastery of the homestead. |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 8:11:04 PM
Mine will leave a trail of kleenex through the house. 12 years of marriage later, she has been better.
They are never on the floor, but neatly placed on the edge of counters or tables. Her excuse, she was not done with it. |
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Girthrockwel
Member
Team Member
Joined: Nov 2009 AL, USA
Posts: 1459 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:12:40 PM
Originally Posted By xxtdxx:
My wife watches the kardashians. I hate that show. Makes me want to rip the dish off my roof. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Yep, same here. My wife watches lots of really mindless reality TV. |
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azcactusbrew
Member
Team Member
Joined: Oct 2005 MT, USA
Posts: 2076 Feedback: 100% (9) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:17:04 PM
Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
Originally Posted By Kriptonic:
I can't stand it when my wife does anal masturbation and then licks her fingers. She thinks that turns me on. Let's just say that licking your finger after putting it up your ass is just wrong and an indication of mental issues. And yes I'm seeing a lawyer since this happened last week. Okay. It turns out that I thought that I had something, but as it turns out, it looks as though I don't have a single issue any longer. Yeah i was just getting ready to post some bullshit on how my wife annoys me every so often but now i realize i have zero problems with the spousal unit. |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 8:19:12 PM
9,635 bottles of shampoo & condtioner which ALL must be in the shower at the same time
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Alien
Not the illegal kind...
Team Member
Joined: Jun 2002 AZ, USA
Posts: 27316 Feedback: 100% (8) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:21:13 PM
[Last Edit: 8/8/2012 8:22:36 PM by Alien]
She gets mad when a show or movie (Spartacus, Game of Thrones, etc) has female nudity.
It makes me not want to watch those particular ones with her. Mind you if she told me I couldn't watch them, I'd LAUGH in her face, but it makes me uncomfortable to watch them with her sometimes because of how bent out of shape she can get, saying it's basically porn or how one sided the nudity is (Spartacus and Game of Thrones have male nudity too is the ironic part). It's not like I'm beating off while watching the show or something and you certainly don't see me getting all pissed off when some guy's cock is displayed on screen. |
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greenranger
Member
Team Member
Joined: Aug 2004 GA, USA
Posts: 8084 Feedback: 100% (1) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:22:12 PM
no its more like what she doesnt do that drives me nuts.
GR |
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Posted: 8/8/2012 8:23:29 PM
Mine doesn't know how to close a closet door or push a drawer in. The best one is when she sets up coffee. She does not make a whole pot but will put one scoop of coffee per one cup a coffee, usually making three cups at a time.
All fine and dandy but she uses a dinky tea cup to measure the water, I use a coffee mug to drink mine and every day few days she ask why after I have two cups, that she poured for me, why there is only half a cup left when she pours hers. After explaining countless times in the last twenty something years I just tell her now it evaporated . CW |
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VACaver
I really do know my ass from a hole in the ground!
Team Member
Joined: Jun 2006 VA, USA
Posts: 16558 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:24:52 PM
Mine has no idea that a light switch has an "Off" position. The concept of turning a light off to save money on electricity is alien to her.
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Zack3g
Good camera, no skill.
Life Member
Joined: Aug 2004 LA, USA
Posts: 18640 Feedback: 100% (7) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:30:15 PM
She has a tendency to get hit by cars while walking down the street.
Today was car #3. Not really injured though.
In considering some of the posts in this thread, I say this is relatively minor. 
I've tried and tried to impress upon her the need for situational awareness and the fact that cars weigh more than she does and will win any physical confrontations. |
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Some_Beach
Member
Team Member
Joined: Jan 2009 NC, USA
Posts: 1385 Feedback: 0% (0) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:47:55 PM
[Last Edit: 8/8/2012 8:52:35 PM by Some_Beach]
Shoes with heels left with the heels up. In the dark. In the middle of the floor. It's like walking through a punji pit!
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Harvster
NRA life member
Life Member
Joined: Feb 2009 PA, USA
Posts: 14805 Feedback: 100% (1) Link To This Post |
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:50:44 PM
...licks her fingers...
I'm fucking crying. |
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