Those fucking nasty ass, alley dwelling, fat buckets of shit slime. As if the classic stereotype of the eternally shirtless, unemployed black man shacking up with a white woman who looked like she was bred from the finest lineage of corn-fed, low brow, built-like-a-tree-stump bumpkin demigods, and their screaming mulatto children, wasn't hilarious enough, the culmination of his eviction from the premises for selling all her furniture to buy more crack while she was at work seemed to be the cherry on top - so I thought.

Fast forward to a week and a half ago when the apartment complex is doing a righteous cleaning with industrial strength chemicals that we could smell next door when we came home from a place that our neighbor had probably only heard about in whispered tales passed down through time from his progenitors: WORK. In an effort to rid the unit of all traces of squalor and pestilence left behind by the human sewage that once called it "home," the apartment complex unwittingly drove the hordes of microbes and bacteria eastward toward our humble, placid domicile. In the night, they descended en masse upon my poor, innocent, unsuspecting roommate first, leaving behind evidence of their handiwork in the form of grotesquely smelling rust colored stains on her whitest bedsheets of linen and cotton transforming the air from Spring Rain to Innsmouth at Low Tide.

In her efforts to spray and wash and steam the creatures into oblivion, or at least drive them hither whence they came, now, my space has been invaded by the foul beings once my neighbor's welcome familiars. And so it begins, my struggle, and tonight I will gut my room and relocate all freshly washed laundry to another room lest it be sullied by more bug excrement while I unleash hellsmoke and cyclones (read steam and vacuuming) upon my floor and mattress!

Pray for me, arfcom brethren. If the bugs rally a coordinated counter-offensive, I may succumb to their persuasions.

I say again, Damn Ye loathsome spawn, mindless organism, offensive to all that is good and clean and wholesome on God's green earth; vomited from mucous laden birth canals adorned in piss and shit which is how you saw fit to live the rest of your wretched, toiling, pitiful, pointless existence; DAMN YOU AND THE BUGS YOU BEQUEATHED TO ME!

ETA: The digested remnants of my ass juice. (for alias2 ) Fuck you bedbugs!



My sad, sad room.





A closet full of clothes which are to be washed as a precaution and other "collectibles" (that need to be sorted and most likely thrown out) hiding behind my mattresses.



We will be following the suggestions in this thread which we had stumbled onto through our own independent research leading up to tonight.

ETA2: So, I spoke with the complex today. Basically, in a really nice politically correct manner, they said it wasn't possible to determine where exactly the bedbugs could have come from. With it being the Texas summer and all, insect activity is going to be very high; we own a dog that could have picked them up from somewhere outside and brought them back into the apartment; we could have come into contact with someone, i.e. gone into someone's house who has them or been visited by someone who has them; my traveling roommate could have brought them back with her from a hotel she stayed in, etc, etc.

$300 plus tax to have the apartment fumigated and we would have to absorb the cost. I let them know we'd deal with them our own way. Oh well. I don't think we'll be re-signing a lease with them again.

Tell us how you really feel.

Its a bug planet.

You used some fancy words there. Bequeathed, progenitors, pestilence all probably described your neighbors well. But, then you fast forward to the past. >> Fast forward to a week and a half ago when the apartment complex is doing

8/10 not enough swearing and no fire!!

Are you sure you don't have crack bugs ?
























Just Kidding

Get yourself some diatomaceous earth.

7/10 No blading at 45 to said bed bugs.

10/10

nor brimstone


Contact the landlord for starters

Pics of your roommate on rust colored sheets

This!!!!

Get some dry ice.

They are attracted to the carbon dioxide.

Put it in a low walled container and set it on your bed or on the floor. Watch as they crawl in and suffocate.

Burn everything to the ground. That's what insurance is for.

I have to agree, great prose and use of ye old queen's english.

Go buy a spritzer bottle, empty. Buy ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL, 91% alcohol. Spray living bugs and the areas where they infest, denoted by the 'rays' of rust-colored turds.

Take everything off the floor in the bedroom. Put it into black garbage bags and keep in your car for a couple of days, or leave in the sun for a few hours if you think that no one will just throw it away.

Buy Steri-Fab and spray once every two weeks on EVERY SINGLE CREVICE in the bedrooms.

Get diatomaceous earth, sprinkle on the carpet, especially into the edges next to the baseboards and UNDERNEATH your mattress.

Get pillow and mattress covers rated for bedbug containment.

Keep this up for the next 4 months and when you have gone a month without seeing a bedbug then, my friend, you see then end of your ordeal. Your landlord will only exacerbate the problem by bug bombing and they will most likely NOT be willing to take the long view.

This is your struggle. Do not falter or you shall surely fail.


And yes, been there, done that, have the infestation at the house waiting for me to get back there to treat it (I am out of town).

I'm going to fast forward myself and ask or akst', whichever is used in your apartment complex, why don't you just fucking move? The clothes and linens you don't want that are now infested leave on a box in the parking lot and they will go to whatever deserving mouthbreather that steals them, take the stuff you want to keep and have it disinfected and steam cleaned with heat and GTFO.

That excrement those parasites are leaving on your white linens is the blood and filth they sucked out of your disgusting neigh...excuse me...................
neighbors who lived just one 2x4 stud and sheetrock panel away. Sharing the same floor deck having to witness that primate and the pig would have been enough to have made me move.

Great rant....so much I would like to say but I won't...

Move somewhere else for a week or more, burn your mattress and box springs, nuke the stripped home/apt with persistant nerve agent then steam the carpet and clean the piss out of everything else then move back in with a new mattress. If you're lucky that might work.

11/10 OP is quite the wordsmith.

Same shit happened to me at the last place we lived cept it was a family of 25 or so illegals

It's not bedbugs, it's just marburg fever.

Very nice rant!

Very bad problem. Yeah, management first. But remember if they hire someone to carpet bomb the place you gotta breathe that shit.. evac for a couple days, it's still there. May not stink "as much", but you're still breathing neurotoxin.

I'd look for another place, cite "vermin infestation" as the reason to break the lease. And if they won't cooperate.. Hey, get 7 On Your Side! Call ALL the local TV stations and lay it out for 'em. The Casa's De La Bedbug don't want publicity like that.

The bedbugs would be the least of my problem then.

Illegal invasion and the popularity of third-world travel, as well as banning DDT. Bedbugs were virtually eliminated in the U S by effective pesticides. Once DDT was banned, the invading army of illegal aliens and all the special snowflakes travelling to the world's dumps re-introduced them.