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Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:27:09 AM EDT
[#1]



Quoted:






my MIL gave me a hundred dollar bill, and grabbed my ass when she hugged me.














I have a similar story from last night....



 
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:27:13 AM EDT
[#2]
Quoted:
Quoted:
My SIL once gave me a five dollar rebate form from Duracell with the required UPC labels attached. Basically, "I bought some batteries...if you want five bucks, send this in."

Gee...what a great gift.


At that point, I give it back and say, I'd rather have no gift, than one that shows me such disdain.  Merry Christmas. :)


Nah. She may be a little "off" in a lot of things she does, but my brother loves her and I don't want to upset anyone. I just filed it under "Another bizarre thing Courtney did".  
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:27:53 AM EDT
[#3]
My step-dad wrapped a box of four spark plugs and gave it to me one year. They were some he'd bought for one of his own vehicles and never used.

His rationale? "Well, you're a mechanic, so I figured you could use them for something.."
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:27:58 AM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
My brother in law, my wife, and my in laws are the WORST gift givers I have ever known.  My parents are the only saving grace of Xmas.  if it were not for them, I would not get anything I asked for/could use.

This year:  Wife - a wall calender (i never use wall calenders and never have), pants (when I specifically asked for NO CLOTHES after getting several last year).  Brother in law - a gift card for a steakhouse that HE likes and has around his house 2 hours south, but there is not one anywhere near where we live.  In laws - a mug (I do not drink coffee or ever use mugs), a Christmas ornament (seriously do I give off the decorator vibe?), a bathmat....

Other years:  a Chuck Norris gift pack with a poster, calender, 3 pack DVD of his movies (I am not a Chuck Norris fan), a ghetto handmade box with 3 demiled grenades in it so when you open the box, it pulls the pins on the grenades.  DVDs of TV shows that they like that I have told them I do not watch and am not interested in.   Gift cards to stores that are not within 3 hours of where I live, and not online.  A walker.


The rest is awful, but this is cool.  
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:30:37 AM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
A jar of peach marmalade....


Niece sent me home with Homemade  Blueberry marmalade and a coulple jars of pepper jelly
along with pulling 17 teeth a week go
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:31:24 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
My GF and I got my sister and her husband a $50 GC to PF Changs - a nice date night dinner.  

She got me a golf score calculator (like I'm 80 with Alzheimers and can't add) and she got my GF a plastic doll kitchen scrub brush.  WTF.

ETA, of course, I can't decide which is the better gift, got the same thing for my other Sis and BIL, and they got us....nothing.  Not even a card.  WTF again.  

I love my family.  I love my family.  I love my family.


I'd much rather my family give me nothing than spend money on something I'm going to throw away.

ETA: But, usually I hope for nothing and am disappointed.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:34:08 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
 So far, I have recieved 50 dollars worth of giftcards to Dennys. So that equals 5 times I will be flooring it home due to intestinal distress.


Officer: "I clocked you going 50 in a 35 zone.  What's the hurry?"

You: "Dennys gift cards!"

Officer: "Oh, no problem!  There's a gas station about three miles ahead with toilets.  Good luck!"
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:37:49 AM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
Camo house shoes.  Apparently since I like guns my family thinks Im a redneck that must own every camoflauge print item in existence.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


Hey!  I like my Camo Shoes...At least the family thought about me / you for a few milliseconds.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:38:53 AM EDT
[#9]
lots of money.  
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:45:21 AM EDT
[#10]
Tic -tacs and a squirt gun from my in-laws, I am 34 and have been married in this family for 13 years, wtf?

At least they were good to my wife
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:46:17 AM EDT
[#11]
Tic -tacs and a squirt gun from my in-laws, I am 34 and have been married in this family for 13 years, wtf?

At least they were good to my wife
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:46:19 AM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:

I'd much rather my family give me nothing than spend money on something I'm going to throw away.

ETA: But, usually I hope for nothing and am disappointed.

Me too bud.  I'm not the person to give token gifts, and I don't like receiving them any more.  



Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:53:00 AM EDT
[#13]
This is Rick Springfields memoirs, read by Rick Springfield himself.



It's a 13 CD set.  Each CD is one hour.



I don't really have the words.






Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:54:03 AM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
My dad gave me a set of Budweiser BBQ sauces.  I don't even like Budweiser.


The Bud in the name is just marketing.  Be happy you got BBQ sauce, but be sad that he didn't give you a slab of meat.

I didn't get a lot myself, but none of it was bad.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:54:48 AM EDT
[#15]
One already scratched lotto ticket. It was a $1 winner

Oh and it's from another state so I would have to drive there to redeem it.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:55:45 AM EDT
[#16]
If I get another no name summer sausage. I swear I will beat someone to death with it.

My daughter did better than the whole family by buying me that Twenty questions ball.

It allowed me to avoid talking with the rest of the family most of the morning.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:58:08 AM EDT
[#17]
i got nothing for Xmas... seriously
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 8:58:54 AM EDT
[#18]
So far my sister gave me 2 candy bars... She's 28 and i'm 20.



Ill report back later..
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:04:08 AM EDT
[#19]
Leaving for the MIL's. This should be... interesting.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:09:36 AM EDT
[#20]
Lets see now... I got the wife a Kindle this year.  I got some T-shirts and wool socks and will be getting a 27" monitor when I decide to order it, and the kids made a good haul this year too.  

The 13 hour Rick Springfield autobiography wins hands down though.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:11:50 AM EDT
[#21]
Someone should start a "Shitty Gift Exchange"  where all you people that got crap can trade with other people that got crap.  At least then you'll have crap you choose.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:13:27 AM EDT
[#22]
Come back when you get Chef Boy ar dee pizza sauce from your inlaws.
 
 
 



Pmc
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:14:48 AM EDT
[#23]
That's a real shitty gift, but I honestly eat that crap all the time, I'm ashamed to say.  


Quoted:


Come back when you get Chef Boy ar dee pizza sauce from your inlaws.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/pmcal/DSCN3086.jpg      



Pmc






 
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:16:01 AM EDT
[#24]



Quoted:


Come back when you get Chef Boy ar dee pizza sauce from your inlaws.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/pmcal/DSCN3086.jpg      



Pmc
Was that from a couple of years ago or so?





 
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:16:57 AM EDT
[#25]
Yep Christmas 2 years ago. I haven't let the wife forget it



Pmc
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:20:05 AM EDT
[#26]



Quoted:


My dad gave me a set of Budweiser BBQ sauces.  I don't even like Budweiser.




 



My wife bought that for our brother in-law!!!! He's flying in with my sister and Dad so gift opening is tonight. I'll have the camera ready!




I bought him a silver eagle coin.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:20:42 AM EDT
[#27]
2 of my little brothers... One is a brain the other is a lazy mooch. Anyway, few months back, mooch goes to brain's place to do some laundry. Fast forward to xmas...Mooch just opened his gift from brain. Its a half used box of laundry detergent! As mooch is trying to wrap his mind around the gift he just opened, brain brother says "you left that in my car a few months ago."
Apparently there is some hostility between them...LOL
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:22:04 AM EDT
[#28]
Some of y'all must have really pissed off your in-laws at some point.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:22:30 AM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
This is Rick Springfields memoirs, read by Rick Springfield himself.

It's a 13 CD set.  Each CD is one hour.

I don't really have the words.


https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-3H2qbv-WmzE/Tvdi0AB72_I/AAAAAAAAAaU/eLZjewwCueM/s640/20111225_124110.jpg


So, after 13 hours of Rick Springfield, are you a fan?


That would be an excellent gift to re-gift.

I freakin hate Rick Springfield.



Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:24:01 AM EDT
[#30]
I got a grey T shirt with the outline of a blue tractor.  I wear L or XL, this shirt is XXL.  



Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:24:49 AM EDT
[#31]
You know, if you guys don't want the pizza sauce or the angry bird slippers my IM box is empty.









One man's garbage....
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:25:32 AM EDT
[#32]
My mom gave my 10 year old neice a disection kit, complete with preserved and bagged dead worm, frog, and the biggest grass hopper I've ever seen.  I laughed my ass off because my sister-in-law is a bunny hugger.
http://www.hometrainingtools.com/dissection-kit-introductory/p/DE-KIT01/
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:25:35 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:

Quoted:
Come back when you get Chef Boy ar dee pizza sauce from your inlaws.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/pmcal/DSCN3086.jpg      

Pmc
Was that from a couple of years ago or so?

 


That was it! I couldn't remember if it was Spaghetti o's or sauce.  Lol not even spaghetti o's. At least you can eat them by themselves.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:28:20 AM EDT
[#34]
Last year my aunt (on my fathers side) got my mom a 4lb bag of chocolate chips





One year same aunt gave her an electric carving knife. Asked to borrow it and never gave it back.





A few years ago i got a talking mounted deer head.



One year my girlfriend at the times mom got me a T-shirt that had the male and female stick figures that said "man plus women = BIG MISTAKE" and her brother got me the same kind that spelled out "Im tired of your (toilet bowl)shit"

Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:29:02 AM EDT
[#35]
Santa had a sick sense of humor this year.....


Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:30:14 AM EDT
[#36]



Quoted:


Santa had a sick sense of humor this year.....





http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/5494/xmasfq.jpg


Someone's been watching "Warm and Fuzzy Feeling"
 
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:32:20 AM EDT
[#37]
Flatscreen wall mount and a waterpic
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:36:19 AM EDT
[#38]
I know a guy who's SIL was a massage therapist. His brother gave him a gift certificate to his SIL. Awkward!
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:37:06 AM EDT
[#39]
Diswasher magnet art from the in laws.  Last year I got a squeegee blade.  



It's OK though...because I get to enjoy -



1) FIL putting his feet (with shoes on) on my coffee table.



2) Three days of MIL picking fights with me.



3) Three days of miserable FIL bitching about everything.  Everything.



4) They brought their little neurotic dog.  It has to come everywhere with us because it gets afraid when it is left alone.  And shush...because you're scaring the dog.  



5) Got to enjoy their company at a nice restaurant last night.  I paid.  They bitched about the prices anyway.  And the food wasn't to their liking either.  



6) Have destroyed my kitchen playing shit & leave it every morning since Wednesday.  



7) They have their own full guest bathroom.  For some reason, they have decided not to use that shower and have found their way into the master bath in my bedroom.



8) Retired GM autoworker.  Liberal Democrats. Awesome conversation.



9) Ketchup on everything.



10) My TV doesn't have enough volume, apparently.  
Baby jebus...please make it stop.
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:37:21 AM EDT
[#40]
Why all the hate for the angry bird slippers? I didn't know they existed but now I'm hoping for a pair.


No gifts until after work for me
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:49:05 AM EDT
[#41]



Quoted:


Diswasher magnet art from the in laws.  Last year I got a squeegee blade.  



It's OK though...because I get to enjoy -



1) FIL putting his feet (with shoes on) on my coffee table.



2) Three days of MIL picking fights with me.



3) Three days of miserable FIL bitching about everything.  Everything.



4) They brought their little neurotic dog.  It has to come everywhere with us because it gets afraid when it is left alone.  And shush...because you're scaring the dog.  



5) Got to enjoy their company at a nice restaurant last night.  I paid.  They bitched about the prices anyway.  And the food wasn't to their liking either.  



6) Have destroyed my kitchen playing shit & leave it every morning since Wednesday.  



7) They have their own full guest bathroom.  For some reason, they have decided not to use that shower and have found their way into the master bath in my bedroom.



8) Retired GM autoworker.  Liberal Democrats. Awesome conversation.



9) Ketchup on everything.



10) My TV doesn't have enough volume, apparently.  
Baby jebus...please make it stop.
Damn that sounds awful.





 
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:52:08 AM EDT
[#42]



A freakin' heavy duty neon jacket.  










rr

 
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:54:44 AM EDT
[#43]
Quoted:

Quoted:
Diswasher magnet art from the in laws.  Last year I got a squeegee blade.  

It's OK though...because I get to enjoy -

1) FIL putting his feet (with shoes on) on my coffee table.

2) Three days of MIL picking fights with me.

3) Three days of miserable FIL bitching about everything.  Everything.

4) They brought their little neurotic dog.  It has to come everywhere with us because it gets afraid when it is left alone.  And shush...because you're scaring the dog.  

5) Got to enjoy their company at a nice restaurant last night.  I paid.  They bitched about the prices anyway.  And the food wasn't to their liking either.  

6) Have destroyed my kitchen playing shit & leave it every morning since Wednesday.  

7) They have their own full guest bathroom.  For some reason, they have decided not to use that shower and have found their way into the master bath in my bedroom.

8) Retired GM autoworker.  Liberal Democrats. Awesome conversation.

9) Ketchup on everything.

10) My TV doesn't have enough volume, apparently.  



Baby jebus...please make it stop.
Damn that sounds awful.

 




Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:55:57 AM EDT
[#44]
My wifes aunt gave me a dead mans expired macaroons.
I unwrapped it and it still had a sticker on it with some guys name. I
asked my wife who it was and she said it was a family friend that had
died the year before. They were also 6 months expired.





We'll see if she can top that this year.  


Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:56:14 AM EDT
[#45]



Quoted:


Cigars.





I quit smoking 6 months ago



DIBS!

 
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 9:56:33 AM EDT
[#46]
A shirt from my MIL that is the wrong size.  When I opened it, she even said aloud "I know it's the wrong size but I got a rgeat deal on it"  Huh?
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 10:18:57 AM EDT
[#47]






damn i'm lucky


Link Posted: 12/25/2011 10:21:19 AM EDT
[#48]
You want awesomely bad? I'll give it to you.



My wife decided on Friday that it was of the utmost importance she spend Christmas with her POS shit brother, because "Christmas is about family." knowing I won't go. So she packed of the kid and her and the kids gifts and went to Shitcago. My gifts are here but I only opened the one I knew had a bottle of Redbreast in it (Thanks Lil Bro).




Fuck it I'm gettin wasted and smoking in the house bitch.  
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 10:26:10 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
This is Rick Springfields memoirs, read by Rick Springfield himself.

It's a 13 CD set.  Each CD is one hour.

I don't really have the words.


https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-3H2qbv-WmzE/Tvdi0AB72_I/AAAAAAAAAaU/eLZjewwCueM/s640/20111225_124110.jpg



WINNER WINNER!! I did not know he wa still alive.  Write a song about jessies girl 40 years ago and then you get to write  a book,
Link Posted: 12/25/2011 10:31:01 AM EDT
[#50]
Tim McGraw colone with matching body wash. Wtf
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