Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel

Log In

A valid email is required.
Password is required.
Site Notices
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Mar 2009
  • Posts 6304
  • Location BRA BRA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Mar 2009
  • Posts 6304
  • Location BRA BRA
Offline
Posted: 12/11/2011 7:04:38 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/11/2011 7:15:18 PM EST by maleante]
Well, not exactly... but that could have been the worst case scenario.

...
According to the police report, the husband was lying on the couch in his living room when his wife noticed her $15,000 ring was missing from the place she normally kept it.

...grabbed a knife and threatened to kill him...

...she put down the knife and walked over to him as he lay on the couch, the report said. She reached down and "firmly" grabbed his left testicle and refused to let go, authorities said.

The police report stated that she held on for about two minutes before finally releasing her grip.
...
When authorities arrived at the scene, a photo of the testicle showed red marks and bruises.
...


http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/weird/Woman––135258578.html

Picture by mustardtiger

I'll save my thoughts on the people who can spend any amount of dollars on a rifle but can't devote 20 minutes to getting their body in shape for another thread. -skinnysarge79
Be a Fountain, not a drain
Avatar
Gold
  • Joined Nov 2008
  • Posts 17188
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Gold
  • Joined Nov 2008
  • Posts 17188
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:05:45 PM EST
HK USP 9 w/Trijicon night sights
HK USP COMPACT 40/357Sig w/TLR-1
Remington 870 6+1
Marlin 336C 30-30
MSAR STG-556
Remington 700 5R
Inside your OODA loop
Avatar
Lifetime Member
  • Joined Feb 2001
  • Posts 36854
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Lifetime Member
  • Joined Feb 2001
  • Posts 36854
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
NRAMilitary
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:06:31 PM EST
They'd have had to take me to jail.
Don't anticipate outcome. Await the unfolding of events. Remain in the moment.
Basic
  • Joined Jun 2007
  • Posts 11392
  • Location USA NJ, USA
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Jun 2007
  • Posts 11392
  • Location USA NJ, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:07:44 PM EST
My balls hurt just by reading that.
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2006
  • Posts 23512
  • Location USA FL, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2006
  • Posts 23512
  • Location USA FL, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:09:08 PM EST
Originally Posted By Jarhead_22:
They'd have had to take me to jail.


And clean her remains off the carpet.
Rouleur
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Oct 2002
  • Posts 26497
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Oct 2002
  • Posts 26497
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:11:17 PM EST
Couple 12-6 elbows to the face or fingers into the eyes and she'd let go
"I will tell you what the best caliber is. It is the bullet, that is fired by the man, who sees the other guy first. In my experience, the caliber doesn't matter." - patkrysbold
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jan 2007
  • Posts 187
  • Location AFG AFG
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jan 2007
  • Posts 187
  • Location AFG AFG
Offline
Military
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:11:39 PM EST
She looks like Kathy Bates playing Annie Wilkes in "Misery".
[NO TEXT]
RCJ
Kentucky Native
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Aug 2010
  • Posts 3178
  • Location USA KY, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Aug 2010
  • Posts 3178
  • Location USA KY, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:12:42 PM EST
"Look at my balls, officer! LOOK AT THEM."
"Well, it's a mess, ain't it sheriff?"
"If it ain't, it'll do til the mess gets here."
Two smokes, let's go...
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jun 2009
  • Posts 6317
  • Location USA OR, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jun 2009
  • Posts 6317
  • Location USA OR, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:13:47 PM EST
"A free people [claim] their rights as derived from the laws of nature, and not as the gift of their chief magistrate."

"If I had a nickle for every time I buckled under pressure, I would have 5 nickles. " - Hank Hill
Is having a gun to shoot the fish.
Avatar
Gold
  • Joined May 2007
  • Posts 15821
  • Location USA WI, USA
Offline
Gold
  • Joined May 2007
  • Posts 15821
  • Location USA WI, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:13:52 PM EST
"I was in fear of great bodily harm. I wish to speak with an attorney. My chest hurts, will you call me an ambulance?"
DanTSX - "Acquiring better guns by burying the shitty ones behind you is the path to enlightenment."
LaRue customer for life!
Harm seek, harm find
Hippy Kicking Vaginatarian
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Feb 2003
  • Posts 6335
  • Location USA PA, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Feb 2003
  • Posts 6335
  • Location USA PA, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:15:05 PM EST
That's just nuts.
“I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!” <Homer Simpson>
Doin' it for the LuLz
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2008
  • Posts 3415
  • Location USA NY, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2008
  • Posts 3415
  • Location USA NY, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:15:06 PM EST
Fat vile whore.
Ew.
,[____l,
_-o||||o-_
()_)¯¯ )_)

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, Hey, can you give me a hand? You can say, Sorry, got these sacks.
Plays with fiver.
Avatar
Platinum
  • Joined May 2006
  • Posts 39852
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Platinum
  • Joined May 2006
  • Posts 39852
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:17:48 PM EST
Proud Member of Team Ranstad

Newest member of the crazy-old-cat-lady club.
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Feb 2002
  • Posts 26840
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Feb 2002
  • Posts 26840
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:19:37 PM EST
My brother's second wife did something similar to him twice (grabbed his family jewels).
The first time he told her to never do it again.
The second time she did it he knocked her out with a fist.
She filed charges on him and a judge evicted him from their home with the kids.
That was about 20 years ago. Times may have changed but domestic violence can be one hellacious mess for a family.
Grumpy old peckerwood
Tier 1 tactical bad ass
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2006
  • Posts 2383
  • Location USA AZ, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2006
  • Posts 2383
  • Location USA AZ, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:19:50 PM EST
Those are the craziest googly eyes I've ever seen.
Akimbo Pixelslinger
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jan 2006
  • Posts 9253
  • Location USA WA, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jan 2006
  • Posts 9253
  • Location USA WA, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:20:12 PM EST
I screamed after reading the headline.

I screamed like a little bitch.
You know, I've been here for aqua-bumpers, shower cookies, goose fuckers, doll shows, fire on airplanes, and the attempted theft of an AR by Shitty McBritches, and this post is the one that's finally made me say, "This place is getting weird." -53
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2002
  • Posts 6651
  • Location USA MO, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2002
  • Posts 6651
  • Location USA MO, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:20:14 PM EST
Winner of the most painfully exaggerated thread title of the day.
Invest in precious metals - brass and lead.
_DR
Support the NRA so they can support you.
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined May 2003
  • Posts 32994
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined May 2003
  • Posts 32994
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Military
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:22:32 PM EST

S
S
S
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain
Awake
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2011
  • Posts 1003
  • Location USA FL, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2011
  • Posts 1003
  • Location USA FL, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:28:46 PM EST
No cross-eyed jokes yet? Come on people.
As above, so below.

We are the Light Bearers.
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2001
  • Posts 3099
  • Location USA OH, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2001
  • Posts 3099
  • Location USA OH, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:29:27 PM EST
15 K$ ring for THAT?
"If It Has Tits, Wheels, or a CPU, it's gonna cause you Problems."
Basic
  • Joined Jan 2011
  • Posts 233
  • Location USA IN, USA
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Jan 2011
  • Posts 233
  • Location USA IN, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:36:38 PM EST
I don't even have balls and that hurt. What the crap?!
" Still got the shovel..."
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Nov 2006
  • Posts 4552
  • Location USA GA, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Nov 2006
  • Posts 4552
  • Location USA GA, USA
Offline
Military
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:36:38 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/11/2011 7:37:31 PM EST by Furious]

True story:

I have a close friend named Travis who was assaulted by his ex-girlfriend. She stalked him at his home one night and found his new girfriends car there. She started by bashing the windshield then when Travis came out to stop her (wearing only boxers) he pushed her down and stood over her screaming. She grabbed his balls and yanked as hard as she could ripping one out of his sack. She then calmly left.
He was in ICU for a few days after that while they tried to save his balls. I remember him cussing at me when I would make him laugh because it hurt. He used to show people the blood stains on his hardwood floor and say "that's when my balls got ripped off". This all happened back in the early 90s.


What I gathered from this is to NEVER date the crazy.




The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.
on a Buffalooo...
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2005
  • Posts 39258
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2005
  • Posts 39258
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:37:00 PM EST




That woman is herp derp strong!
Warning:
If blade damage, don't be fly, otherwise it will create the human body or blame damage.
Generally Disagreeable
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2004
  • Posts 5754
  • Location USA NV, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2004
  • Posts 5754
  • Location USA NV, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:44:18 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/11/2011 7:45:36 PM EST by stickfigure]
I would have kicked that bitch's eye straight.
We're invaders from another planet, we're invaders from another world... Martian Men look out for your planet... Earth Man's comin', to take control!!! EARTH MAN!!!
Rock, Flag, Eagle!
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Feb 2002
  • Posts 25645
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Feb 2002
  • Posts 25645
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:44:51 PM EST
never trust a woman with a wonky eye
If you make guns idiot proof, then only idiots will own guns

I apologize for nothing - Andy Levy

Lover of Mayhem
Avatar
Platinum
  • Joined Nov 2008
  • Posts 4427
  • Location USA NM, USA
Offline
Platinum
  • Joined Nov 2008
  • Posts 4427
  • Location USA NM, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:46:30 PM EST
Reminds me of the subpoena joke.
Hate And Discontent Reign Supreme In The House Of Love.me




System Message is not your friend. Posted: Today 8:45:44 PM MST [Last Edit: Today 8:45:44 PM MST by VA-gunnut]
on a Buffalooo...
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2005
  • Posts 39260
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2005
  • Posts 39260
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:48:58 PM EST

Originally Posted By Billmanweh:
never trust a woman with a wonky eye

Seems like a good rule of thumb.
Warning:
If blade damage, don't be fly, otherwise it will create the human body or blame damage.
Basic
  • Joined Feb 2011
  • Posts 1338
  • Location USA KY, USA
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Feb 2011
  • Posts 1338
  • Location USA KY, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:53:26 PM EST


Maybe she was looking in the wrong place for the ring.
Recoil Junkie
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jun 2004
  • Posts 16537
  • Location USA NY, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jun 2004
  • Posts 16537
  • Location USA NY, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:54:38 PM EST
Florida is the Capitol of Crazy.
The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-Ronald Reagan
Basic
  • Joined Oct 2010
  • Posts 1350
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Oct 2010
  • Posts 1350
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:54:40 PM EST
Originally Posted By hdhogman:
15 K$ ring for THAT?


That's what I was going to post. That guy must have the worst luck in history when it comes to getting tail to marry that.
Recoil Junkie
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jun 2004
  • Posts 16538
  • Location USA NY, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jun 2004
  • Posts 16538
  • Location USA NY, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:55:24 PM EST
That's not how you give a handjob.
The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-Ronald Reagan
Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2007
  • Posts 15449
  • Location USA UT, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2007
  • Posts 15449
  • Location USA UT, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:55:29 PM EST
The eyes just do not get any crazier than that.
Support a VZ58 subforum here! http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=2&t=899608&page=1
Such a fine line between stupid and clever.
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2005
  • Posts 2824
  • Location USA OR, USA
Online
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2005
  • Posts 2824
  • Location USA OR, USA
Online
Military
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 7:55:50 PM EST
I guess she got a bit testy.
Psalm 119:11
musha rain dum a doo dum a da
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2009
  • Posts 15204
  • Location USA OK, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2009
  • Posts 15204
  • Location USA OK, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 8:04:02 PM EST
How the deuce do you get a smiley face in a poll?
Bring back SYSTEM MESSAGE!

BOOMER SOONER!

desperta ferro
Basic
  • Joined Sep 2006
  • Posts 2200
  • Location USA IL, USA
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Sep 2006
  • Posts 2200
  • Location USA IL, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 8:15:45 PM EST
She is a lazy eyed dike. Trust me.
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Nov 2005
  • Posts 3264
  • Location USA MS, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Nov 2005
  • Posts 3264
  • Location USA MS, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 8:21:02 PM EST
"Nothing says "I am displeased with your actions" like a gunshot to the face." - PFC-Demon
Mr. McGibblets
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Mar 2008
  • Posts 3824
  • Location USA KY, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Mar 2008
  • Posts 3824
  • Location USA KY, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 8:23:04 PM EST

Originally Posted By jmhat98:

I lol'd
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2006
  • Posts 5148
  • Location USA NC, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Dec 2006
  • Posts 5148
  • Location USA NC, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 8:27:40 PM EST

Originally Posted By DisplayName:
She is a lazy eyed dike dikfer. Trust me.

So THAT'S what a dikfer is.
Hmm, let me think here...
Basic
  • Joined Sep 2006
  • Posts 6744
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Sep 2006
  • Posts 6744
  • Location USA TX, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 8:28:05 PM EST


What's she lookin' at?
Legbreaker extraordinaire
Avatar
Gold
  • Joined Jan 2001
  • Posts 15722
  • Location AFG AFG
Offline
Gold
  • Joined Jan 2001
  • Posts 15722
  • Location AFG AFG
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 8:35:48 PM EST
Kick Ass.
Take Names.
Repeat As Necessary.
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined May 2010
  • Posts 5218
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined May 2010
  • Posts 5218
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 8:39:47 PM EST
Originally Posted By geekz0r:


Maybe she was looking in the wrong place for the ring.


If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law.
Winston Churchill

Team Member
Avatar
Gold
  • Joined Jun 2008
  • Posts 697
  • Location USA TN, USA
Offline
Gold
  • Joined Jun 2008
  • Posts 697
  • Location USA TN, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 10:01:38 PM EST
Originally Posted By RCJ:
"Look at my balls, officer! LOOK AT THEM."


Basic
  • Joined Jul 2011
  • Posts 182
  • Location USA VA, USA
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Jul 2011
  • Posts 182
  • Location USA VA, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 11:45:40 PM EST
Why would any one in their right mind pay 15k for a ring??? Hell, you could buy 5 M4's and a shit pot of ammo for that much money.
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2006
  • Posts 13930
  • Location USA WV, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2006
  • Posts 13930
  • Location USA WV, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/11/2011 11:53:20 PM EST
...and then she yelled I AM A BOY DAMON!
Basic
  • Joined Dec 2005
  • Posts 2204
  • Location USA MI, USA
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Dec 2005
  • Posts 2204
  • Location USA MI, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/12/2011 12:16:47 AM EST
After working a 16 hour day,she was tired of coming home and finding him on the sofa.
Basic
  • Joined Jun 2007
  • Posts 2964
  • Location PRK PRK
Offline
Basic
  • Joined Jun 2007
  • Posts 2964
  • Location PRK PRK
Offline
Link Posted: 12/12/2011 12:22:05 AM EST
That right eye seems problematic
American
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jun 2008
  • Posts 4251
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jun 2008
  • Posts 4251
  • Location USA USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/12/2011 12:36:57 AM EST
Where's that damn "do not want" pic?
Don't put pussy on a pedestal.
Coal miner.......nuff said
Avatar
Gold
  • Joined Dec 2008
  • Posts 4285
  • Location USA IL, USA
Offline
Gold
  • Joined Dec 2008
  • Posts 4285
  • Location USA IL, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/12/2011 12:38:05 AM EST
Daym!!!!! That bitch could pick apples and look for snakes at the same time!!!!
Tennessee Squire
Originally Posted By 53vortec:
"MRAP (Mine Resistant Ambush Possum)"
LJ "RAAARR!"
Some times violence is the ONLY answer
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2005
  • Posts 2449
  • Location USA KY, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Jul 2005
  • Posts 2449
  • Location USA KY, USA
Offline
Link Posted: 12/12/2011 12:49:03 AM EST
Her left eye must be really interesting. Her right eye keeps looking at it.
Courage is standing up for what you believe is right, even if it means you stand alone

You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.
Member
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2008
  • Posts 5707
  • Location USA SC, USA
Online
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2008
  • Posts 5707
  • Location USA SC, USA
Online
Link Posted: 12/12/2011 12:51:15 AM EST
That would hurt. Bitch would get knocked out, and I don't hit women. Well, once, and in a similar situation.

If any of you were around in the 1980s and a teen around oh, say 16 years old, you'll understand. One of the horrible fashions or that time for guys, were these silk looking shorts. Sure, they were comfortable, and on girls, looked absolutely fantastic, but in retrospect, were not real manly on us. Anyway. I was at the river house with my girlfriend and her cousin. We'd been drinking and swimming and other things and I got tired, and I passed out on the recliner under the a/c. Cousin, hot as she was, decides it's a bright idea to get a lighter and see how flammable my nuts were.

Answer? Nuts are indeed flammable when shorts are set on fire first. Drunk bitch was down there trying to blow the fire out. I just felt warm at first, and cracked open an eye to see her on her knees between my legs with her lips half an inch from my pecker. Heaven right? Until, the intense pain actually woke me up. I leaned forward and swung for the nearest thing to my pain, hitting her in the chin as she tried to stand up and knocking her out cold.Then I noticed the actual fire that had spread rapidly along my groin area. In less than a second, the girlfriend threw a glass of water on it, putting it out. I was pissed. I did receive restitution from the cousin about a week after the incident. So I guess all went well.
Don't go ninj'in nobody that don't need ninj'in
Chiroptera Parvulus
Avatar
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2009
  • Posts 1792
  • Location USA MN, USA
Offline
Bronze
  • Joined Apr 2009
  • Posts 1792
  • Location USA MN, USA
Offline
Military
Link Posted: 12/12/2011 1:02:04 AM EST
[Last Edit: 12/12/2011 1:02:50 AM EST by cgrant26]


Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Top