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Posted: 10/19/2011 11:19:37 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/19/2011 11:23:02 AM EDT by Gunlvr007]
WTF is the deal with women, going out of their way, to make themselves unhappy? I have had several female friends and girlfriends who seem to literally search for reasons to be miserable. Saving old texts, emails, letters, photographically recalling arguments from months and years ago (that they typically instigated), and for no constructive purpose, just to be fucking sad. It blows my mind, can someone please enlighten me on the psychology behind this? Because I am at a complete and utter loss.

ETA: Not to mention getting upset over every little thing, didn't say goodbye the right way, didn't call back fast enough, didn't comfort them when they refuse to tell you why they're upset in the first place, these are all things I've had women start tearing up over... WTF?
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:21:07 AM EDT
Martyrdom and the resulting attention.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:21:26 AM EDT
They don't want misery.

They want drama.

They just don't understand that drama leads to misery.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:21:58 AM EDT
Because women are different. If you are expecting a partner to be the same as you, then you might be gay.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:22:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/19/2011 11:26:39 AM EDT by Tekka]
They want to be victims so that they can blame everything on someone else. Looking for things to be angry about allows them to avoid looking into themselves and realizing that their own unhappiness is their own choosing.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:22:48 AM EDT
IBTL

IBPJ
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:22:50 AM EDT
By Warren Zevon:

Well, I've seen all there is to see
And I've heard all they have to say
I've done everything I wanted to do . . .
I've done that too
And it ain't that pretty at all
Ain't that pretty at all
So I'm going to hurl myself against the wall
'Cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all

You know, I just had a short vacation, Roy
Spent it getting a root canal
"Oh, how'd you like it?"
Well, it ain't that pretty at all
So I'm going to hurl myself against the wall
'Cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all

Gonna get a good running start and throw myself at the wall as hard as I can man

I've been to Paris
And it ain't that pretty at all
I've been to Rome
Guess what?
I'd like to go back to Paris someday and visit the Louvre Museum
Get a good running start and hurl myself at the wall
Going to hurl myself against the wall
'Cause I'd rather feel bad than feel nothing at all
And it ain't that pretty at all
Ain't that pretty at all

Maybe this?
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:23:25 AM EDT
My wife, I firmly believe, goes out of her way to find things to be angry about.
I've always been a "glass half-full" kinda guy.
She's so far beyond "glass half-empty" I've taken to calling her the "glass empty" gal.
Love her still, but, damn!
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:23:48 AM EDT
It's called Depression.

Women suffer it a lot!
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:24:08 AM EDT
Because nothing is ever good enough?
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:24:14 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Brohawk:
Martyrdom and the resulting attention.


Bingo.

Some women thrive on being drama queens and the attention they get from it.

Sarah Palin comes to mind...
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:24:34 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Gunlvr007:
WTF is the deal with women, going out of their way, to make themselves unhappy? I have had several female friends and girlfriends who seem to literally search for reasons to be miserable. Saving old texts, emails, letters, photographically recalling arguments from months and years ago (that they typically instigated), and for no constructive purpose, just to be fucking sad. It blows my mind, can someone please enlighten me on the psychology behind this? Because I am at a complete and utter loss.

ETA: Not to mention getting upset over every little thing, didn't say goodbye the right way, didn't call back fast enough, didn't comfort them when they refuse to tell you why they're upset in the first place, these are all things I've had women start tearing up over... WTF?


How else are the going to drag everybody around them down into that bottomless pit of depression they are in?
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:26:19 AM EDT
Misery loves company.

Women like to bitch and women are the only people who like to hear it.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:27:32 AM EDT
My beloved wife tried to make me miserable yesterday..........she was cranky.

I went out of the house and had a few drinks at my buddy's house.

It made her more angry with me.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:28:30 AM EDT
You are having that problem because you are dealing with emotionally immature women who have not learned how to resolve their own issues.

I've experienced the same thing. The sad thing is that is just a part of who they are, they are never going to change. So the sooner you learn a woman is like that the sooner you can eject.

My last g/f was just like that. Couldn't let anything go and couldn't resolve any type of issue even though she acted like things weren't a big deal at the time. One of the last times I saw her she brought up every little thing she thought I had ever done to her even though I thought we had resolved most of them. When I tried to explain them she wouldn't listen and would just repeat how she was wronged. They let all that build up and then turn on you.

The solution is to find a better class of women.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:29:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/19/2011 11:30:07 AM EDT by hooligan223]
Originally Posted By Gunlvr007:
WTF is the deal with women, going out of their way, to make themselves unhappy? I have had several female friends and girlfriends who seem to literally search for reasons to be miserable. Saving old texts, emails, letters, photographically recalling arguments from months and years ago (that they typically instigated), and for no constructive purpose, just to be fucking sad. It blows my mind, can someone please enlighten me on the psychology behind this? Because I am at a complete and utter loss.

ETA: Not to mention getting upset over every little thing, didn't say goodbye the right way, didn't call back fast enough, didn't comfort them when they refuse to tell you why they're upset in the first place, these are all things I've had women start tearing up over... WTF?


The part in red really pisses me off. First off let me say that my wife is a good woman and I wouldn't want to be without her but shes does this to me every time she gets upset about something. I finally decided it's never going to change so I ask her twice and if she doesn't tell me I continue about my business. There's no point trying to figure out a woman's thought process. I just roll with it as best I can.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:31:38 AM EDT
Huh. I think you'd better take your blinders off. Men do it just as much.


The reason is simple. They like feeling miserable.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:33:18 AM EDT
Originally Posted By webtaz99:
By Warren Zevon:
'Cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all

Maybe this?


On a related note - Most women give you signs extremely early on.
If you choose to ignore those signs, then you reap the resulting misery.

I went on a first date with one girl. At the time, the Goo Goo Dolls were apparently hot shit. I don't know, I never really liked them. But the song was playing on the radio.

She says to me, "The lyrics are so deep for a pop song!" in reference to the line, "...you bleed just to know you're alive."

We talked it over for a bit and it was an interesting point of conversation.
That conversation revealed to me a significant amount of information about that individual.
Ultimately, it was my one free hint that she was an incurable drama-seeker.
We were both cordial and respectful to each other, and there was no second date.
Later events within our shared social circles proved my decision to eject before we had even gotten off the ground to be an extremely prudent one.


Observe, orient, decide, act.
It's not just for combat, folks.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:34:12 AM EDT
Originally Posted By GeorgiaBII:
It's called Depression.

Women suffer it a lot!


+1 you are a winner

Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:34:24 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Tekka:
They want to be victims so that they can blame everything on someone else. Looking for things to be angry about allows them to avoid looking into themselves and realizing that their own unhappiness is their own choosing.


my ex to a tee...
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:35:21 AM EDT
Psychic energy sink.

If they're not happy, nobody else can be happy.

Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:37:57 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Brohawk:
Martyrdom and the resulting attention.


Exactly, and women don't have a monopoly on that complex.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:42:20 AM EDT
Originally Posted By hooligan223:
Originally Posted By Gunlvr007:
WTF is the deal with women, going out of their way, to make themselves unhappy? I have had several female friends and girlfriends who seem to literally search for reasons to be miserable. Saving old texts, emails, letters, photographically recalling arguments from months and years ago (that they typically instigated), and for no constructive purpose, just to be fucking sad. It blows my mind, can someone please enlighten me on the psychology behind this? Because I am at a complete and utter loss.

ETA: Not to mention getting upset over every little thing, didn't say goodbye the right way, didn't call back fast enough, didn't comfort them when they refuse to tell you why they're upset in the first place, these are all things I've had women start tearing up over... WTF?


The part in red really pisses me off. First off let me say that my wife is a good woman and I wouldn't want to be without her but shes does this to me every time she gets upset about something. I finally decided it's never going to change so I ask her twice and if she doesn't tell me I continue about my business. There's no point trying to figure out a woman's thought process. I just roll with it as best I can.


If something is obviously upsetting her and I ask "What's wrong?" and she says, "Nothing", I say "OK" and go back to what I was doing.

If she eventually wants to talk about it, she'll come to me.

Prying it out of her can only end in tragedy.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:42:28 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Plumbata:
Huh. I think you'd better take your blinders off. Men do it just as much.


The reason is simple. They like feeling miserable.


In my experience, the ratio of men to women who engage in this sort of thing is so polarized as to not be worth mentioning, but most of my male friends are infantry Marines so maybe that has something to do with it.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:42:30 AM EDT
Women. Can't live with them. The End. - Al Bundy
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:43:23 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Shane333:
Originally Posted By Brohawk:
Martyrdom and the resulting attention.


Exactly, and women don't have a monopoly on that complex.


My sister-in-law gave me a stuffed Eeyore one year.

I have no idea why.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:43:31 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Gunlvr007:
Originally Posted By Plumbata:
Huh. I think you'd better take your blinders off. Men do it just as much.


The reason is simple. They like feeling miserable.


In my experience, the ratio of men to women who engage in this sort of thing is so polarized as to not be worth mentioning, but most of my male friends are infantry Marines so maybe that has something to do with it.


Don't spend much time in GD, do ya?
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:47:23 AM EDT
It's part of the natural female mechanism. Women are by their very nature miserable creatures. If you bleed for 7 days every month and didn't die you would be pissy as well.

Very few women can even get along with each other.

Then they see their husbands, dads, boyfriends for all practical purposes get along with each other as men do and don't like what they see.

Their natural lot in life is to make is to make us as miserable as they are. Unfortunately it works most of the time.

I've seen many a bumber sticker saying Wife and Dog missing, Reward for Dog. It's just the natural process of the male female relationship.

How many species are monogamous? Not many, probably the reason why. Out in the wild the females would be killed and eaten if the won't shut up. We don't REALLY have that option.

Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:49:34 AM EDT
Daddy issues.

Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:50:24 AM EDT
drama imparts meaning to an empty life
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:52:30 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Mosspointers:
Women. Can't live with them. The End. - Al Bundy


Ok I..............
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:53:43 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Plumbata:
Huh. I think you'd better take your blinders off. Men do it just as much.


The reason is simple. They like feeling miserable.


That could be but I wouldn't know because I have not lived closely with many men.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:54:19 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Brohawk:
Martyrdom and the resulting attention.


1st post and all that.

I've got one of those in my office. Complains about being overworked, her counterparts ask to help, she tells them no thanks, complains about being overworked,etc.,etc.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 11:59:16 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Gunlvr007:
Originally Posted By Plumbata:
Huh. I think you'd better take your blinders off. Men do it just as much.


The reason is simple. They like feeling miserable.


In my experience, the ratio of men to women who engage in this sort of thing is so polarized as to not be worth mentioning, but most of my male friends are infantry Marines so maybe that has something to do with it.


I think the complex manifests itself in different ways between women and men. I'm obviously generalizing, but in women it would probably be manifested in nagging-and-complaining behavior, while in men it probably manifests itself in doormat-and-then-complaining behavior. Meaning that in women it is probably more combative while in men it is probably more passive.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:04:40 PM EDT
it's in their nature.

"nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around"

with women...one bad apple will spoil the whole bushel...
it's an easy observation....when 1 in the cluck club has a break up...she invariable tries (most times successfully) to cause or facilitates the others to break up...
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:04:56 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/19/2011 12:05:43 PM EDT by BeRzErKaS]
Originally Posted By Beardog86:
It's part of the natural female mechanism. Women are by their very nature miserable creatures. If you bleed for 7 days every month and didn't die you would be pissy as well.

Very few women can even get along with each other.

Then they see their husbands, dads, boyfriends for all practical purposes get along with each other as men do and don't like what they see.

Their natural lot in life is to make is to make us as miserable as they are. Unfortunately it works most of the time.

I've seen many a bumber sticker saying Wife and Dog missing, Reward for Dog. It's just the natural process of the male female relationship.

How many species are monogamous? Not many, probably the reason why. Out in the wild the females would be killed and eaten if the won't shut up. We don't REALLY have that option.



If other creatures found out we men stayed bound to females that could no longer breed (menopause) purely out of sentiment, we'd be laughed out of the animal kingdom.

We are certainly a strange bunch.

Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:20:16 PM EDT
Part of it is that some people are addicted to "feeling." They re-hash shit over and over and over because it causes some sort of emotional response. It's kind of like the way that meditation/prayer stimulates the limbic nervous system.

As a dude, you can use this to your advantage with women. Don't answer all of their questions. Leave shit open-ended. That causes them to think about you and what you really meant when you said something. They go through the machinations in their head over and over and create that same emotional feeling. Most of them will misinterpret that feeling of confusion as love, and their panties will go flying.

Or they're fucking crazy. I don't know.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:27:40 PM EDT
Want to? I believe they make it happen to themselves more often than not, but they will always blame everyone else but them.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:45:39 PM EDT
Women keep a score card ..........
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:54:55 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Gunlvr007:
WTF is the deal with women, going out of their way, to make themselves unhappy? I have had several female friends and girlfriends who seem to literally search for reasons to be miserable. Saving old texts, emails, letters, photographically recalling arguments from months and years ago (that they typically instigated), and for no constructive purpose, just to be fucking sad. It blows my mind, can someone please enlighten me on the psychology behind this? Because I am at a complete and utter loss.

ETA: Not to mention getting upset over every little thing, didn't say goodbye the right way, didn't call back fast enough, didn't comfort them when they refuse to tell you why they're upset in the first place, these are all things I've had women start tearing up over... WTF?



It has really annoyed the heck out of every woman I've dated that I too have the ability to recall those arguments— usually to a much higher degree of accuracy than they are able to muster.

Want to see a woman get really pissed off?

Simply remember the full details of an argument she re-visits 18+ months after it initially occurred for her "amusement."


I suspect Deej probably has been in a similar circumstance.




** Nothing in my post is intended as a complaint about women generally and shouldn't be construed as such. **
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:56:03 PM EDT
Originally Posted By PossumKing:


As a dude, you can use this to your advantage with women. Don't answer all of their questions. Leave shit open-ended. That causes them to think about you and what you really meant when you said something. They go through the machinations in their head over and over and create that same emotional feeling. Most of them will misinterpret that feeling of confusion as love, and their panties will go flying.



Hm, interesting. Do you feel this would have the same effect on men, if a woman were to do the same? Do men not replay situations in their minds?
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:56:23 PM EDT
Why do some women (and men) continue to get into obvious self destructing relationships....

Probably cause that is what they are used to.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:56:47 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Brohawk:
Martyrdom and the resulting attention.


Right there. Bingo.

Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:57:04 PM EDT
With the very high percentage of Arfcommers here that walk around every day looking for something to pissed off about, ranting about every little thing, perceiving seemingly everything as a personal slight or affront - a LOT of you have a lot of nerve to point fingers.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 12:58:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/19/2011 1:01:40 PM EDT by runcible]
Originally Posted By TrojanMan:
They don't want misery.

Some do.

My ex-wife wanted to be unhappy, all the time. She'd look for things to be unhappy about.

She was pissed when the sun didn't shine, and when it did it was too bright.

If I found a gold bar in the street, she'd say, "I dunno, looks awful heavy."

Finally had enough and threw her out.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 1:01:35 PM EDT

This was not a problem in primitive times since the men would beat the women if they got out of hand.

Link Posted: 10/19/2011 1:04:09 PM EDT
Hardwired. Hormonal, genetic, whatever you want to call it.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 1:05:28 PM EDT
Originally Posted By KN:

This was not a problem in primitive times since the men would beat the women if they got out of hand.





<Goes to make popcorn>
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 1:05:45 PM EDT
To paraphrase a friend of mine...

The female form is proof that God has good taste. The female psyche is proof that He has a sick sense of humor.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 1:06:00 PM EDT
They are almost all Debbie Downers.
Link Posted: 10/19/2011 1:06:56 PM EDT
For the same reason most men do...they need someone else to blame besides themselves for their misery.
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