My father in law (vietnam vet) is on his death bed and will probably die with in the next 48hours. He wants to be buried at Jefferson Barracks national cemetery. Since I am the only close relative who is also a vet I have been tasked to take care of this.
So, can anyone tell me the procedure? Can I just drive to the cemetery (it is just a few miles away) and make arrangements or do I have go through the national headquarters?
His wishes are
1. cremation
2. No funeral service (In his words he doesn't want anyone to gawk at him, if they wanted to see him they should have came by while he was still alive.
3. Grave side service with military honors (if possible)
Also, can they incinerate his boonie hat with him when he is cremated?

Thanks everyone for the help.

The Missouri Army National Guard has a funeral honors program for this very purpose. Call the state headquarters at 573-638-9500. Push "0" to get the operator and ask for the Funeral Honors program. They will take care of you and set up the team for the full military honors/flag folding/presentation.

If you hit a wall with this, let me know. There is a funeral honors team that works right across the hall from me in KC that can get us in touch with some people if necessary. I'm not available tomorrow but will be back in the office Friday.

You can either make the arrangements yourself, of the usual way is to let your funeral director take care of it.  Arranging a Burial at a National Cemetery

ETA: The VA doesn't handle things like cremation, the wake or the funeral services, which are usually handled by the Funeral Director. The VA will arrange for the burial plot, marker, and can usually arrange with the local .mil group to handle the burial honors. My suggestion is to get the required paperwork together and let the Funeral Director handle it so that you and your family don't have to worry about it.

Take a copy of his DD-214 to the cemetery and talk to the staff there.

First, I'm sorry to hear of your loss.  I can't describe it beyond that; I'm sorry

Second, you need to notify the Commandant in charge of the burial ground where he wants to be interred, immediately.

I'm sure that they will do their best, but they do need  some notice to do it properly.

My most sincere regards to you and your Father.

I should defer to Sgt.Sauer as he has the best detailed info.

Again, my condolences to your FIL, you, and his family.

Arrangements have been made, thank you everyone for your help.
Gary M.

Sorry to hear you have to go through this Gary.