A lot of sad stories here....

I would have castrated him with a rusty spoon by now.

Your Dad needs to sell you some stuff before he dies (and let your Dad "hold" it for you). I'd probably contact an attorney and get that shit settled NOW before your Dad gets too old. She sounds like a real bitch.

My adopted cousin.  At the top of a long list of really bad shit that he's done is last spring when he sided against the family with a known spousal abuser and small time drug dealer who was upset because my parents helped the dealer's wife leave him.  This dealer hired a private investigator to spy on my parents and attempted to dig up trash.  My cousin would pass him info until one day when I called him on his shit after I caught him fucking around our farm.  Of course he denied it because he is a coward and a liar, but strangely enough we haven't been bothered by him ever since.  Things haven't completely gone back to normal yet, but at least he's out of the picture.  Fucking assbag, that one.

He was a local baby born to a crack fiend mother and dead beat father.  Sometimes, you just can't raise the trashiness out of a person.

ETA: Rest of story.

My Mother-in-law is a complete looney!

Needless to say that she was mentally abusive to my wife her whole life. Moved her into foster care because she was a "bad kid." At one point she held my wife down and made my sister-in-law stab her with a fork. She took my wife to a therapist and when the therapist told her that my wife was fine and that she had Munchausen by proxy syndrome she stopped taking my wife. She kicked my wife out of the house and then called her in as a runaway. Claimed that my wife stole some stuff from her and had her sent to a juvinile facility. Then kicked her out of the house when she was 16.

We eventually got married and had kids and the bitch called CPS on us while my wife was in the hospital giving birth to kid #2 and tried to get custody of the kids. She then called a lawyer and tried to get "grandparents rights" while we were in another country (military). We eventually cut her off completly and moved to two more states.

Mean while she was collecting child support in two different states for two kids who were over 19 years of age and still owes my father-in-law money back for him OVER paying it.

While I was in Iraq she hired a private investigator to find us. She then found god showed up at our house and tried to kidnap my kids to "take them to church to be saved". Lets just say that the only reason that she isn't dead from that one is the fact that the wife didn't know how to use the shotgun. (which has since been fixed). We got a restraining order on her and I told her that If I ever see or hear from her again that I would be the last to do so.

She is a complete psycho bitch and I hope she burns in hell.

She is nothing like her family.  Shes even more antidrug than me and really despises the way her family acts. Specifically her dad. The only complaint I have is she's messy and bad with money but we're working on both.

Also, prenup.

I'll try to remember to visit this thread again after work. I've got a few doozies. Suffice to say, I don't speak to about 70% of my family.

I wouldn't even know where to start.  3 uncles are felons.

1 uncle took the grandparents for 250k on a house loan.  Has since declared bankruptcy once or twice but somehow, owns a home and a number of vehicles on an exclusive tropical island.  Has also ripped of his wife's parents etc....

Have a 50 year old alcoholic uncle still living at home with his parents, has stolen and leeched off of them for 30 years.

My older brother "dead now" was a master carpenter making REALLY good money, He was arrested NUMEROUS times for beating his wife, Lost his job as a carpenter because he was a drunk who would buy a 36 pack of busch and put it on his dashboard to get hot since hot beer gets you drunk faster, He had a crack and heroin problem for YEARS

He had a 16 year old girl who had had 4 kids by the time she was 16, His 13 year old some was hooked on crack and heroin "just like daddy"

He was in and out of jail but was eventually sent to prison for the remainder of his short life for havaing a shootout with cops and killing 2 of them before he was taken down...He died in prison about 9 years after going in because of hepatitus he got from sharing needles with his heroin buddies

Real fucking winner right there, My dad HATED him and my other 2 brothers HATED him, Unfortunatly one of them was killed right before above brother went to prison, He was driving over the train tracks when his truck stalled out and as he was pushing the truck off the tracks he had a brain anuerism and died on the tracks, It wouldnt have been so bad if he ahd just died of an anuerism except to make matters worse a train came along and ran over his dead body

To top it off my dads ex wife "my brothers mom wanted to have a OPEN CASKET fucking funeral which the entire family protested for obvious reasons, She tried her hardest but the people at the funeral home told ehr she was out of her fucking mind and that they couldnt do anything to even make him look like a human being after being hit and run over by a train "OBVIOUSLY"

Dear old mom.

Thinks I should accept her 'boyfriend' insulting me for a week, several times daily, in my own house.

That, I tolerated, as best I could.

When he insulted my wife and kids, in front of them, and mom, well let's just say I'm lucky I didn't end up in jail.

And dear old mom thinks I owe the piece of shit an apology.

Dear old mom and I haven't spoken in about 1 1/2 years.  Not gonna happen any time soon, either.

my uncle and aunt had about 13 kids, (cue picture of big family with caption VAGINAS ARE NOT CLOWN CARS) and then after finding out they were physically unable to make any more of their own, adopted a couple of unwanted crackbabies. IM for more info

I have an Aunt who is a rich banker.



She's a high level manager at a well known mid-west bank and she rakes in the dough (at least she USED to).



During the 2008 election cycle, she accused me of being a member of the KKK because I was voting for McCain. Literally accused me of being a member of the KKK, in writing and in front of the whole family.



After the election, when Obama was talking about a 100% tax on executive bonuses for companies that received TARP money, she told my sister "I am proud that I voted for Obama, but I don't like that he is wanting to take my bonuses. That's a lot of money I'd be losing!"



Yeah, who's wealth did you think he wanted to spread around stupid?

Got a bunch of felon druggie cousins, all from the same uncle on my Father's side. Also GTA and kidnapping with those cousins. My Aunt (not their mother) has been putting them up in her house for several years whenever they are out of prison or rehab. Had to share a bathroom with one that got Hep C from a jail house tat on his neck (our last name) I didn't touch anything.

My father is a total dead beat. Mom divorced him when I was 2 (probably the best thing that has ever happened to me). Since then he's lived with my Grandma then when she died like 16 years ago he lived with my Aunt and still lives in her garage. He's a felon, druggie and a liar. He use to tell me when I was a kid that he was in SF and used to jump out of trees and kill people (think two man knife team). I later realized that this was impossible and that he's full of sh!#. He's in his 60's living in his younger sister's garage. This is the same Aunt that puts up the felon cousins. He used to have all sorts of guns that I would look at when I was younger but then one day when I came to visit grandma they were all gone, I think the cops took them for the whole being a felon thing. He's probably paid about $600 total for child support to my Mom for 3 kids. She's doesn't care, as long as he leaves her alone. Funny because my Mom works for Child Support Services. I really feel sorry for him now. I am contemplating on whether I should have my boys meet him before he dies. He had a stroke a few months ago and since has had major heart surgery.

My MiL has some serious mental issues. She's been batty for a while and makes outrageous claims like one of my 20 mo boys (who can't talk) told her "to go" and "he doesn't want her here" while she was visiting us. She wanted permission to discipline them and I canked that right away. She drives my Wife crazy but she will listen to me for some reason.

The worst on my Mother's side is they are all pretty much super libs. One of my Aunt's kind of screwed my Mom out of her inheritance, my Mom is not confrontational so she didn't fight it.

I'm lucky that my immediate family doesn't have any major drama.  That said:

My grandpa(dad's side) was an alcoholic.  He served in WWII in the Army Air Force, and according to my dad, he flew Patton around.  

He was an alcoholic, and he died in 1993 when I was 7.  The memories of my grandpa consisted of seeing him for a short time at my grandma's, and going to see him at the various nursing homes, at one time, a rooming house, and he lived for a period of time on the East Side of Chicago with his nephew.    He had heart problems and had a pig's valve put in.

From what I've been told my grandpa had been told to quit and he didn't, he had hit rock bottom, and wound up in South Chicago Hospital, where he died.  There had also been some drama involving my grandpa's nephew, my dad catching hell for going to see him, the rest of the family catching hell for not going, and apparently the nephew stole from my grandpa as well.

My grandma was a day away from filing for divorce when he died.   She re-married a guy she knew from way back that lived in TN, she would have married him back before she married my grandpa, but she married my grandpa instead.   They married in '96.  They did the long distance thing for a long time.  She'd drive down to TN to visit him, he'd drive up here.

Three years ago, we were moving but my dad thought of asking my grandma(who's 91) if she'd consider selling her house.  She said no, and then she matter of fact said that my step-grandfather(the one that she married from TN) died about 3 months ago.  My mom hops online, and discovers they divorced in 2000.  Of course, not telling anyone.

Just goes to show you how wildly different people can be growing up in the same environment.  His brother was a pro baseball player.  One brother turns into a complete fuckstick, the other rises to the top of his profession.



 

First cousin on my moms side

Massachusetts Mom Accused of Locking Special Needs Son, 5, in Scorching Attic

LOWELL, Mass. —  Police responding to a report of a 3-year-old being locked in a sweltering, filthy attic were told by other children, "Mommy does this when she gets angry," a prosecutor said Friday.



I actually have no idea how this ended up... I do not think she went to jail or anything though...

Damn I thought I had it rough.


2-Typical lying stealing POS cousins in prison

1-Former (from what I can tell) lying POS cousin

1-Cousin involved with Meth that went missing, his body was later found in a pond near his house.

This +over 9000

I heard about this one, my wife is from Methuen MA.

Dayum!



I thought I fucked up with about $10,000 in CC debt, geez....



At least I am working to pay off my debt



 

Compared to most, mine is a boring tale to tell.

My sister; two years older than I am.
When my younger brother was going through a messy divorce, dear sister was on the phone with her brother's soon-to-be-ex wife quite a bit. That soon-to-be-ex "somehow" became aware of information that only close family could know and twisted it and used it against my brother in the divorce proceedings.

Fast forward a decade or two, and I'm going through a messy divorce. OK, not 'messy', just expensive.
My dear sister and my own soon-to-be-ex wife are on the phone a lot. Hell, my sister even has her visit for a few weeks during the most stressful time of the divorce. My dear sister is even listed as a character witnesses for my soon-to-be-ex wife (STBEW). I hear through other family that while the STBEW was up there visiting dear sister, she was getting shit-faced and bad-mouthing me. Not a real problem, except she did so within earshot of my son who was with her. My dear sister tolerated this bad-mouthing of her brother in her home.

A few months later I find out that both my STBEW  and my sister are (and have been) having computer problems. Since I work in the computer industry, STBEW is convinced I am hacking their computers.
One fine day at work I get a phone call - on my work phone - from my brother-in-law (dear sister's husband), who is part owner of a tech company. He says that the phone call is being recorded and that STBEW is also party to the call, listening.
This phone call is a cease and desist order for hacking (a felony!). The explicit threat of legal action is voiced. He also claims to be a victim of "my" computer hacking on his work systems, and his corporate lawyers will have my ass if I continue.*  

I have had ZERO contact with dear sister or her husband since. Actually, I miss him a bit. He's a nice guy. Too bad he's under dear sister's thumb; and a LARGE thumb it is! Dear sister is very intelligent, very manipulative, and has a demonstrated desire to control those around her.  She's a grade-school teacher with a graduate degree, and also a FLAMING Liberal and stereo-typical NEA activist.

Dear sister has also been in the hospital "resting" from too much stress and various vaguely-defined physical issues. She has had a life filled with therapy trying to work out the same problems over & over (& over...).  



*-*-*-
*  Just to be clear; I know exactly how many computers I have hacked. It's an easy number to remember: ZERO.  I have never hacked any computer ever.
Not only is it a felony with serious PMITA prison time, snooping around someone's computer is just wrong.

One relative's grave will be urologically desecrated upon their death.  



The rest are just average grade stupid, selfish, etc...

My SIL thinks she makes the best pecan pie. Yeah...more like pecan soup, crazy woman.

A relative of mine was driving drunk and struck an ambulance.

Wow!  Some of the stories are so beyond anything that has happened in my family, that whatever I could come up with to post wouldn't even be worth it, they wouldn't even begin to compare.

My SIL is a cunt. She has improved GREATLY over the years.

One of the wife's uncles is a first-class jackass.

My first Christmas with my (to be) wife when we were still dating we, her parents, and her sisters family with 2 year old loaded up to go spend a couple hours at the uncle's for Christmas Eve.

We knocked on the front door...no answer. Waited around (mind you it was snowing!) and just about gave up. Up opens the garage door (odd) and out comes the uncle. Rather than a "nice to see you" we are instead greeted with a "Thats it, im done, go home!"

He does an about face, hits the button on the garage door and disappears back into the house. We literally stood there silent for a good minute with our mouths open till someone broke the silence and asked if they thought he was kidding.

He wasnt

Her uncle is an asshole.

I wouldn't know where to start...  

On my Mom's side.  



Two cousins are Adopted and were raised under a Calvinist roof.  My Aunt and Uncle provided everything for those kids and then some.  One decided he was gay and went and found his bio mom. BIO mom supports him. A & U said he's welcome so long as he doesn't bring his husband around or talk about his gayness. Sad.



His sister was a flunky all through HS and then decided to get knocked up by a guy who abuses her.  He showed up to Thanksgiving one year.  Tats across his knuckles full sleeve tats and to top it off the tear drop tat on the face.  I've got a few but this guy is a piece of work. Pumping gas in my A & U van and then taking off without paying.  My Uncle got a visit from the VA state police..that went over well.  She married the guy. I don't know how they're doing though.



Anyway,

Other cousin on mom's side is Bi Polar. Can't hold a steady job to save his life, hooked on drugs for years. Knocks up some girl who is also bi polar with a kid from another man. Super crazy too.  They get married and continue to leach off my A & U who are now destitute due to his antics, trouble with the law and his sister too.  He lives with his parents who are so destitute, live with my Uncles mom who is the only person alive one more generation up.  So it's grandma, A & U and my cousin, his wife and their three kids under one roof.  That's a black hole of tax dollars right there.



Sister of above mentioned dirt bag cousin.  She dropped out of HS at the ripe age of 16. Worked a job at Rally's burger joint for all of a week and quit.  That was the last job she ever held and she's almost 35 now.  She has 6 Children by 3 different men. Baby Daddy #1 hasn't been seen or heard from in years.  Baby daddy #2 is still around and I guess he tries. Poor bastard.  She's actually stayed married to #3 for some reason. I guess those 6 months stint at sea help the heart grow fonder. LOL.



Well, she inherited 40K from a trust that her father left her when he died in a military plan crash. She forged checks when she was 18 and 19 and got all the money out of the bank. She promptly ran through 40-50k in less than 3 months time. This was about 1995 time frame.  Ever since she has mooched every last dime out of her enabling mother.  My aunt and uncle have filed for Ch 7 multiple times, lost a house in a fire. All sorts of shit and she still pulls money from them.  Her oldest son is 15 now and has failed two grades in school so far. CPS has been called numerous times on her because the kids don't show up to school for days at a time.  In fact the oldest failed one grade because he missed so much school.  That's because mom stays up till 3 or 4 am playing WOW or some other online bullshit.  The 15 year old has to get his little brother and sisters up and get them ready for school. Those kids don't stand a chance in life.  She still pulls in every dime of .gov assistance she can.  A pox on her I say.  She's a fucking waste of O2.



My Brother.  He was in Seminary, had a good life going for the most part.  Our parents supported him in every way all through his life.  He finally decided it would be a good idea to move out when he was 27 and get married.  He's still shifting from job to job barely supporting his family.  He cheats on his wife. Seminary throws him out when he's 3 classes away from a doctorate in world history which he could have used to become a professor at some university but no, it's all down the drain now.  He's lost a job or two since then still jumping from job to job. Mooching off my ever so obliging parents. They buy food, diapers for his two autistic kids, pay mortgage, car payments, buy a hot water heater.  He's still the good son and I never get any sort of help from my parents.  Go fucking figure. Chaps my hide that he gets preferential treatment when I, the "problem child", have my shit together.  I really liked it when my parents visited a few weeks ago. I said, Joey isn't getting any gifts from us this year. They asked why. I said because for about the last five years I have given him something and I have yet to get a card, a gift in return or a simple THANK YOU!  My dad didn't like that too much.  I said, well when you get an e-mail from your brother saying "Sorry, we can't do Christmas this year, money is tight" ~ Sent from Joey's I-Phone. I makes you wonder where his priorities are, obviously it's not family.  Ever since he cheated on his wife I've hardly spoken to him.  I had always looked up to him. Not so much anymore and it burns me to no end that my parents act like nothing ever happened and that I'm the one with a problem.  Oh, thanks for the one pack of diapers mom and dad.  Oh, one more thing, they collect WIC and other . gov assistance and are now seeking SS bennies for his two Autistic children.  

This thread makes me appreciate that the majority of my relatives are good people.  

My sister is a sorry piece of shit, but she is just a white trash leach on my parents.  No drug problems or anything like that.  Makes me thankful.  I still won't talk to her, but she is a thief in my eyes and gets no respect from me.

So, seriously, are you not at least a little concerned about these sideshow freaks becoming your family soon????





ETA: and if your wife is so different and despises them, why is she still in touch with them? Do you want your children to be exposed to these people one day?
 

I cant really think of anyone bad in the family. I mean we have the one or two that drink a bit too much or the one or two that dabble around in drugs a bit but in most of the family on either my mom or dads side including extended theres just not really anyone whos a shitbag.

Then again, both sides of the family have big shoes too, and as I understand no one ever hesitated to put a boot in an ass right when it was needed.

She is nothing like her family.  Shes even more antidrug than me and really despises the way her family acts. Specifically her dad. The only complaint I have is she's messy and bad with money but we're working on both.

Also, prenup.

[/quote]

yeah keep telling yourself that. she may not be now but give it time. my exwife was"NOTHING LIKE HER FAMILY" after six years of marriage, well she is just like her family.

no one called the guy to see if company was acceptable to him at his own residence? and you call him an asshole?

My older brother met this girl at Subway and moved her in the same week. She had a 2 month old sired by a kid who was killed in a drug deal  to boot. This girl was ~20, had a mouth full of rotten teeth and weighed about 250.

  He stuck with her 10 years but never married,fathering my neice in the process. In his words.:" she Pearl Harbored me with the kid...I ain't the one who wanted another one",but he always had at least one "piece on the side"  to keep things even more interesting.


 Last Thanksgiving,he decided to invite his current "piece on the side" home for Thanksgiving.That's right,home with the baby momma,the kid he's called son for 10 years, my mother who believes in magic and witchcraft and her boyfriend who might have one sober day per month.
  The predictable results were: the baby momma attempted to run over her replacement in a pickup while the former "son" went on an epic breaking shit spree,smashing cabinets and wrecking furniture etc to show his displeasure.

 Since his new love is also a big girl,my brother was pleased  with her being agile enough to out-run an F250 he decided to propose,so they got married in a traditional Native American ceremony. Mind you,my grandparents all came from Europe.

     If there is a negative stereotype for a white Southener,my family will do their level best to live up to it. The last time I saw them 2 years ago,I spent 3 days cleaning their house ( because 4 unfixed and untrained male dogs kept inside are a great idea) and had to listen to such logic as rather than taking responsibility for not renewing the registration on the truck,it was much easier to come up with - and everyone agree to- this distortion of reality that in fact it had been renewed and the sticker placed on the tag but,and again I directly quote " some nigger musta stoled it". This is the kind of thinking that pervades even minute of their lives.

   If anyone wants to know why somebody would want to live on a cold and boring island in Massachusetts,it's because if they can't pronounce the name of the state it's gotta be hard for them to find me up here and I know they hate water.

 If anyone would really like to hear such tales as: going out to dinner with the tribe where such lines as " I was gonna bring my new teeth but wanna practice with them first" and "honey,you ain't switched me out to the cheap shit has ya?" were uttered,I'll tell them in the interests of free group therapy - or how the baby momma moved her meth addict sister/boyfriend in...or why it's acceptable for a 5 year old  to tell me " Uncle oob,I hate you sometimes..." because I don't think it's appropriate to call her brother a "faggot"  for not sharing his Cheetos.


    Anyway,there you have it,my family's last name should be Soupsandwich.If somebody else can get some laughs out of it,might as well chuckle away...it's that or cry

I have an aunt who has made her living as a bilingual (Spanish) administrator in the California Public School system. Nothing like some of the other stories in here, but you get the idea.

I have an aunt on my mother's side, who along with her younger brother, went in and had my grandfather change his will ( he had alzheimers and COPD) so that she was the executrix.............she took everything, and threatened anyone who came after her. Everyone just disowned her and has nothing to do with her. She will die surrounded by her worthless sons, one of which will bust Hell wide open when he leaves this Earth

Lets just say out of 6 siblings I only talk to two of them

#1 - Nope (Agrees with #2 actions)
#2 - Nope (defames my fathers good name, he is now dead and cannot defend his name)
#3 - Nope (doper)
#4 - Yes (ex husband is a total looser, Oh how I hope she does not take him back)
#5 - Yes (she is a hard ass like me so we see eye to eye on most things)
#6 - Nope (needs to take personal responsibility for her actions)

I'm #7 and Perfect of course

Now as for my Wife, She is fantastic (and she puts up with me).

I have a Great Son, and a Lovely Daughter both in their 20s, I take
comfort in the fact that I raised them right it was hard work but well worth it.

Holy shit.

Fiancee's mother is in central california, father is in anchorage. We're in VA. Its about as far away as we can get and still be in the same country.



We've been together for 3 years and its 2 more before we'll be married.  Most lawyers around here tell me prenups are good for about 10 years of marriage before the wife has any leverage in a divorce. I've got 12 years to figure shit out.

My BIL smokes pot, and works a Mcjob to support his normal (and working) wife and niece(attending 2nd grade, I have fridge art to prove it). DANM glad i cant top any of you all...

To the op who said they have a relative who broke into the deceased relative's house while the rest of thefamily was at the funeral, it happens all the time. So much that we are often hired by estate attorneys to watch the residence during the funeral to document which relative tried it and then detain them arrest by the authorities.

I own a detective agency and I can't count the times we have been retained to monitor and document the estate. We had one recently where the "prodigal daughter" called to say that she couldn't make it to the funeral because she had to come all the way from Tennessee. She arrived at the residence just as the funeral was starting on the other side of town.  She was easy to spot since she was the one pulling the uhaul with Tennessee tags that backed into the drive.

We got some great video of her arrest...


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

its good to be prepared. you are a smarter man than i. lol

yeah keep telling yourself that. she may not be now but give it time. my exwife was"NOTHING LIKE HER FAMILY" after six years of marriage, well she is just like her family.

[/quote]Been there done that exactly. I thought my wife was the polar opposite of her mom. Nope she was as loony as her mother ever was.





 

I have a cousin who lives in Kansas who is very whacked out. He has two daughters and the oldest moved to Texas several years ago. He has been telling various family members to watch what you say on the phone to him because he is being watched by the CIA and the FBI. He has never told any one family member the whole story, but when the story is pieced together this is what he says:

He hacked into an Army spy satellite to find his daughter in Texas to see if she was okay, but you can only hack in for 17 minutes or [THEY] will find you. He wasn't able to find his daughter in 17 minutes and he was discovered.

He says the CIA and the FBI are following him everywhere watching him and listening to all his conversations. My cousin even said they were going to build a tree house in his back yard to keep an eye on him.



Yes he is crazy. I don't know what kind of drugs he is using but they must be worth it to him.



Oh and contrary to popular belief, Al Gore did not invent the internet, My cousin did back in the late 1980's early 1990's.

Last week....

Family member - So ive heard you are pretty big into guns now.

Me- Whats it to you?

FM- Dont get caught, youll go to jail!

Me- I have a CCW permit and carry every second of the day, and am legal to do so.

FM- But what if someone says something, what if you get pulled over and get caught with it?

Me- Im a LEGAL permit holder and can LEGALLY caryy a firearm.

FM- (throwing a hissy fit now) Have you ever been robbed and needed a gun?

Me - No, Have you ever been in a head on collision?

FM - No, whats your point

Me- Let me do you a favor and remove the safety belt and airbag since an accident will never happen to you.

FM- Ok i get your point.

Me- Great, merry xmas, now go feed your face, see you next year. have a safe trip home and buckle up

I moved to Virginia after highschool to live with and get to know my dad. Well dad had a live in girlfriend named Debbie, I still have nightmares about that crazy drugged out bitch to this day. She sold her townhome and made quiet a profit, then she failed a drug test and lost her job at the post office. So you have a woman sitting home alone all day with 200k+ in the bank and nothing to do. Insane amounts of drug use were to follow. By the time I moved up there she was beyond help and having me around made her jealous as hell. One Friday that stands out is when she came home after a week long bender in DC at crack houses and got all pissy that my dad yelled at her for vanishing again. She flipped her shit, started screaming at everyone including the dog, then ran to the master bedroom SCREAMING jibberish. Few minutes later she comes into the living room and blocks the tv to inform my father and myself (18 at the time) that we would be in jail as soon as the cops show up for beating her. She then ( hand on the bible) took off one of her nikes and starts BEATING the shit out of herself with it. So im sitting in a recliner watching my semi step mom bust her own nose and lips with a fucking shoe insanely laughing the entire time. After a good minute of that she takes off back to her room and low and behold a few minutes later 2 cops show up. Dad was in prison  before and on parole at the time so they cuffed him right off the bat and took him out to the car. One of the cops pulled me off to the side to ask why I was helping hold down my step mom while my dad punched her. I had tears in my eyes thinking I was about to go to jail for doing nothing. I told my side of the story and all about her beating herself with a nike. They went in the bedroom and found the bloody shoe hidden under a pillow on the bed. Release pops and took her instead, she spent the night in jail along with I believe a fine for false reporting or something and of course she was back in the house by the next evening. I have an entire book of shit she did while i was there before i finaly just said fuck it, loaded up my truck and drove back to Houston. Some of her other exploits include posoining my dad and the dog for months via pouring eye drops in all the food she gave them, spending 120 grand in the year I was there with nothing to show for it because it all went up her arm and nose, and when I did finaly leave she thought my dad would be very angry with her running me off. So the logical thing to do was to burn down the shed with the Harley in it, burn the '86 GMC my dad was restoring, burn the boat he just purchashed, burn the '08 Ram he bought 2 days before, and tried to burn the house but the dog woke everyone up barking as she was pouring gas all over the front porch. I hope to god shes dead by now.

I have a schizophrenic cousin that I could write a book about.  The funniest thing I can remember is he tried to steal a goat at the zoo.  He was seen dragging a trash can with the goat in it.  He was telling people he was a veterinarian and had to take the goat to his clinic for treatment.  It was even in the newspaper in Arkansas.  I am not sure where maybe Little Rock.

Not much, but it makes me laugh every time.



My grandmother's second husband (was basically a grandfather to me until I was in my teens) divorced her and was so spiteful he would send her letters calling her bad names and such.



One such letter he sent went on to claim he moved into a fantastic home in Florida where his next door neighbor just happened to be Stephen King and they became best pals and spent hours talking about how much of a bitch she was...