Weirdest,most shocking,funnyist,saddest, sickest - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Weirdest,most shocking,funnyist,saddest, sickest (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 10/28/2010 3:03:23 PM EDT

[#1]

oh a big list for me.

1. I had a roommate i lived with for a year. couple months after he moved out he told me he was gay and wanted to **** my ****. I declined and went home traumatized.

this is a week after a psycho chick covered herself in ketchup and pretended she committed suicide in my bed. Actually that was about 4 years ago to this week! (might post a thread on this story if you guys want to hear it, its a good Halloween psycho chick story)

2. My little brother found my dads search history now I know all the nasty stuff my parents do in the bedroom

3. Found out I was unplanned and basically the reason my parents got married when i was about 18 they were like "wait you never did the math?"

4. Lots more but these are the only ones im willing to mention

Posted: 10/28/2010 3:08:40 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Great so far.

I had a friend that said he used to get a plastic sandwich bag, fill it with lube, fold the zip lock part outward, put it in between his couch cushions and fuck it.

I also have another friend who is into she-males. One of our friends was browsing his computer in his absence and found a shit load of it.

He set his computer up so that when he started it up, it would automatically start playing one of his tranny pornos.

We were all there when he got home and started his computer up and proceeded to laugh our asses off watching, at first his disbelief, and then him trying to exit out of it as fast as possible.

ha rookie take a latex glove fill with lotion roll in towel pull sock over towel put sock between pillow folded in half presto

Posted: 10/28/2010 3:55:15 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Great so far.

I had a friend that said he used to get a plastic sandwich bag, fill it with lube, fold the zip lock part outward, put it in between his couch cushions and fuck it.

I also have another friend who is into she-males. One of our friends was browsing his computer in his absence and found a shit load of it.

He set his computer up so that when he started it up, it would automatically start playing one of his tranny pornos.

We were all there when he got home and started his computer up and proceeded to laugh our asses off watching, at first his disbelief, and then him trying to exit out of it as fast as possible.

ha rookie take a latex glove fill with lotion roll in towel pull sock over towel put sock between pillow folded in half presto

It's called a Fifi. Had a buddy used to fuck one in Iraq.

Posted: 10/28/2010 3:56:34 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:

My mom told me that she often wished she had never had kids. I thought that was a moderately weird thing to tell your child.

Come now DK....

We all know that someone told you something...... worse.

Posted: 10/28/2010 3:56:56 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:

Quoted:
A south-of-the-border coworker of my dad's(from another country that we won't say, but a legal citizen with heavy accent). They worked at a hog farm together, and all were sitting around the breakroom talking about sex. This guy pipes up
"One time, I was so fahkin horny, I fukka the baby cow".
Lots of these

followed, and he was, of course, the laughingstock of the farm until he quit.

i know a guy that fukka the couch

I know one of those, too, but it's not as sick as the cow story.

My old boss told me he caught the hired hand standing on a stool fucking a cow. When he opened the door it surprised the guy so much he feel into the shit gutter. My boss told him "You can fuck a cow, but never fuck a pig, cause they will sequel on you!". True story.

And the sequel is never as good as the original.

Yeah but turn about is foreplay. Stock film at 11...

Posted: 10/28/2010 4:10:44 PM EDT

[#6]

Ahh those special sock stories, 101 uses for your tube socks other than athletics.

Posted: 10/28/2010 4:16:21 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:

Quoted:
My mom told me that she often wished she had never had kids. I thought that was a moderately weird thing to tell your child.

Not what I expected you to post, when I saw your avatar coming up as I scrolled for replies.

That is a kind of offputting remark to make to your kids, though.

While every parent might not have said it, every one of them at some time has thought it.

Posted: 10/29/2010 8:21:38 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:

Quoted:

My mom told me that she often wished she had never had kids. I thought that was a moderately weird thing to tell your child.

Not what I expected you to post, when I saw your avatar coming up as I scrolled for replies.

That is a kind of offputting remark to make to your kids, though.

While every parent might not have said it, every one of them at some time has thought it.

My son is 13, and I have never thought that!

Posted: 10/29/2010 11:05:02 AM EDT

[#9]

Got drunk with my father-in-law one Christmas Eve and finally got him to tell me about his war experiences. He was 15 when WWII ended, in the Hitler Youth (for a very good reason I'll explain below, not because he was particularly enamored with the Nazis) and saw combat as a gun commander on a train-mounted AA gun (at 15! and he was the oldest guy on his gun crew). He had 3 trains bombed out from under him by the Allies. He actually showed me the shrapnel scars on his legs from near-miss aircraft bombs. Apparently AA gun commanders sat behind the breach of the gun and you were pretty much protected from the mid-thighs up by the gun. Your lower legs were dangling below the gun and exposed.

His father was a minor, local communist party official and, in the late '30s, he was carted off to a concentration camp. My FIL was the oldest of 6 children. As further punishment, his family was put on reduced food rations. His family was offered full food rations if my FIL joined the Hitler Youth when he became old enough. He joined. His father survived the camps, by the way, but didn't make it home until late '45.

We polished off a good bottle of Spanish Brandy that night. Rest in peace, Vadder.

Posted: 10/29/2010 11:14:56 AM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
A guy I was friends with in HS told me he was attracted to me so I kicked him in the nuts, punched him in the head, slammed him against the wall and then kicked him in the ribs.

He never talked to me again and I cant figure out why.

Before or after you blew him?

Posted: 10/29/2010 11:18:19 AM EDT

[#11]

My mother told me she wanted to stop with 3 kids. Im the 4th.

Posted: 10/29/2010 11:56:37 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:

Quoted:
My mom told me that she often wished she had never had kids. I thought that was a moderately weird thing to tell your child.

Not what I expected you to post, when I saw your avatar coming up as I scrolled for replies.

That is a kind of offputting remark to make to your kids, though.

While every parent might not have said it, every one of them at some time has thought it.

My son is 13, and I have never thought that!

Wait till the hormones start kicking into high gear.

Posted: 10/29/2010 12:09:56 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
oh a big list for me.
1. I had a roommate i lived with for a year. couple months after he moved out he told me he was gay and wanted to **** my ****. I declined and went home traumatized.
this is a week after a psycho chick covered herself in ketchup and pretended she committed suicide in my bed. Actually that was about 4 years ago to this week! (might post a thread on this story if you guys want to hear it, its a good Halloween psycho chick story)
2. My little brother found my dads search history now I know all the nasty stuff my parents do in the bedroom

3. Found out I was unplanned and basically the reason my parents got married when i was about 18 they were like "wait you never did the math?"

4. Lots more but these are the only ones im willing to mention

Lots of children nowdays in that position.
As far as "not being able to do the math" ive found that sons (in general) just dont care about that kinda stuff and dont know. hell, I couldnt tell you when my parents were married.
Daughters on the other hand are all in-tune with that.

Posted: 10/29/2010 12:11:45 PM EDT

[#14]

My buddy wants to hump the blue cat alien in Avatar that Zoe Saldana plays.

On the flip side, quite a few members on this website have agreed with him.

Posted: 10/29/2010 12:15:16 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

this is a week after a psycho chick covered herself in ketchup and pretended she committed suicide in my bed. Actually that was about 4 years ago to this week! (might post a thread on this story if you guys want to hear it, its a good Halloween psycho chick story)

/raises arm

Posted: 10/29/2010 12:21:15 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Ahh those special sock stories, 101 uses for your tube socks other than athletics.

Jack Sock

Poor bastard.

Posted: 10/29/2010 12:38:53 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:

Quoted:
A south-of-the-border coworker of my dad's(from another country that we won't say, but a legal citizen with heavy accent). They worked at a hog farm together, and all were sitting around the breakroom talking about sex. This guy pipes up
"One time, I was so fahkin horny, I fukka the baby cow".
Lots of these

followed, and he was, of course, the laughingstock of the farm until he quit.

i know a guy that fukka the couch

I know one of those, too, but it's not as sick as the cow story.

My old boss told me he caught the hired hand standing on a stool fucking a cow. When he opened the door it surprised the guy so much he feel into the shit gutter. My boss told him "You can fuck a cow, but never fuck a pig, cause they will sequel on you!". True story.

And the sequel is never as good as the original.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Weirdest,most shocking,funnyist,saddest, sickest (Page 2 of 2)

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