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I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
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Posted: 10/22/2010 1:13:44 PM EST
I saw some shitbird get busted today.

One of the officers was a SMOKING hot woman...and by "smoking hot", I mean really cute, girl-next-door with a nice butt and a super-cute face.

This made me wonder, what would be the BEST line to use on a female cop if I were ever to get pulled over?

All I can come up with would be something along the lines of, "If you weren't so pretty, I'd be really pissed about getting pulled over."

Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:14:43 PM EST
So is court considered our first date or ?
Ever shoot a XM218 nekked?
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:14:54 PM EST
Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
I saw some shitbird get busted today.

One of the officers was a SMOKING hot woman...and by "smoking hot", I mean really cute, girl-next-door with a nice butt and a super-cute face.

This made me wonder, what would be the BEST line to use on a female cop if I were ever to get pulled over?

All I can come up with would be something along the lines of, "If you weren't so pretty, I'd be really pissed about getting pulled over."



In before you get cuffed and tazed
"A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough to be given a square deal afterwards. More than that no man is entitled, and less than that no man shall have."
Theodore Roosevelt, 1903
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:15:23 PM EST
No words, just show her your dick.

Seriously, chicks dig a man who takes control.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:15:46 PM EST
Originally Posted By USMC6177:
Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
I saw some shitbird get busted today.

One of the officers was a SMOKING hot woman...and by "smoking hot", I mean really cute, girl-next-door with a nice butt and a super-cute face.

This made me wonder, what would be the BEST line to use on a female cop if I were ever to get pulled over?

All I can come up with would be something along the lines of, "If you weren't so pretty, I'd be really pissed about getting pulled over."



In before you get cuffed and tazed


I think that's his ultimate goal.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:18:18 PM EST
The few I've known have been kinda nuts, and chased uniforms.

I thnk the first step to nailing them is to put on a police uniform.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:19:00 PM EST
I'm not sure, but I can tell you what not to do. Don't run into her car.

I saw a hot lady cop once going into the convenience store, so I lingered so I could see her again when come out. Well, I did, then we both backed out of our parking spaces (we both were in small cars and there was a big SUV in between) in opposite directions and bumped into each other.

She was annoyed and insisted it was my fault, so I had to pay to re-paint her bumper.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:20:44 PM EST
Here, say exactly this:

Are you a single gal?

Yes/no

Want to go get a drink with me after work?

Yes/no
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:21:21 PM EST
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?

Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:22:33 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/22/2010 1:23:27 PM EST by Schadenfreuda]

Originally Posted By AKsala:
Here, say exactly this:

Are you a single gal?

Yes/no

Want to go get a drink with me after work?

Yes/no

Logic rarely works well for me, and I don't drink much...

Which brings me down more...

What percent of that 3% from above would be faithful nymphomaniacs who don't drink?

Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:23:07 PM EST
[Lil Wayne:]
(Yeahh)... Doin a buck in the latest drop
I got stopped by a lady cop
Ha Ha... she got me thinking I can date a cop
Ha Ha... cause her uniform pants are so tight
She read me my rights
She put me in nah car, she cut off all the lights
She said I had the right to remain silent
Now I got her hollering sounding like a siren
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:23:15 PM EST
Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?



I'm not going to tell you the exact odds there... but lets just say they are long. Real long.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:23:46 PM EST
"you know, your ass is really not bad at all considering you sit in that car all day baby"
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:24:42 PM EST
"Ever use those cuffs on someone outside the line of duty"?
Fellow Virginians! Help protect YOUR 2nd Amendment rights!

JOIN the Virginia Citizen's Defense League!

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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:26:13 PM EST
"You call that a nightstick? This is a nightstick!"
ONLY PEOPLE WHO LACK A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF CONFIDENCE AND CAN'T COME UP WITH A DECENT ARGUMENT TYPE IN ALL CAPS.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:28:07 PM EST
There is no one, great pick up line. There's no way to figure out how she's going to react since all women are different. I'd think you'd have better luck if you had regular contact with her since most LEOs have their 'game face' when on duty. Just short of stalking her, I'd find out what gym she went to and hope to bump into her a couple of times and just ask her out.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:28:16 PM EST
Just say "hey you wanna fuck sometime?"

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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:29:57 PM EST
NEVER, I mean NEVER stick your dick in a woman who has a badge....NEVER!
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:31:08 PM EST
Just get a "Honk if you are DTF" sticker for the rear window of your lifted Chevy. Gets 'em every time.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:34:27 PM EST
How about something simple, like "FRISK THIS, BITCH!"


Ought to work, yes?
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:37:52 PM EST
Should we take my case to the DA, or should we settle it at your place tonight?
I have only three miracles, and two of them are card tricks.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:40:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?


Chicks dig confidence. You got this one in the bag.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:48:31 PM EST

Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?


By these numbers I am getting a .01575% chance of being pulled over by a cute single non lesbian cop. And I think your numbers are hopeful.
David_ESM: "Wait. So have you ever been cock bit by a goose?"
Kolat: "Yes"

Cock biting update (8/12/10) Kolat: "Yes. More then once."
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:48:54 PM EST
Did ja shoot any dogs today??......Y'want to??......
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:50:30 PM EST
I got a speeding ticket from a female cop once. She was good looking, but not smoking hot. I made no effort to pick her up.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:51:20 PM EST
Originally Posted By David_ESM:

Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?


By these numbers I am getting a .01575% chance of being pulled over by a cute single non lesbian cop. And I think your numbers are hopeful.


You were not supposed to tell him the exact odds, he may not do it now! Could have potentially been excellent dash-cam footage
Duc, sequere, aut de via decede, Savvy?
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:52:11 PM EST
Best way to pick up a female cop.....?


I'm guessing by the belt. Less chance of losing grip and dropping the poor lass.

Where's the rum?

Why is the rum always gone?

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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:54:00 PM EST
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in
defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more
important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is
supplemental.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:54:10 PM EST
Originally Posted By Agent_Funky:
Best way to pick up a female cop.....?


I'm guessing by the belt. Less chance of losing grip and dropping the poor lass.



the pirate wins
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:56:47 PM EST
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaPv5MXlnIg&feature=related



"Why dont they call you guys Officeress? you know like Actress?"
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:58:25 PM EST
Run.
This post contains personal opinion only and should not be construed as information released in an official capacity
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:58:29 PM EST
Originally Posted By bulldog1967:
"Ever use those cuffs on someone outside the line of duty"?


I was thinking of something along those same lines.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 1:58:50 PM EST
Originally Posted By DonS:
The few I've known have been kinda nuts, and chased uniforms.

I thnk the first step to nailing them is to put on a police uniform sergeant's stripes.


Fixed
This post contains personal opinion only and should not be construed as information released in an official capacity
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 2:08:22 PM EST
"if i made a furtive movement on you, would you prone me out?"

that's all i got for now..
RIP Puggie, I miss you
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 2:20:14 PM EST
"Does your baton expand? Because mine does."
"The will to win compares little to the will to prepare to win." - Paul "Bear" Bryant
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 2:36:18 PM EST

Originally Posted By brushdog:
There is no one, great pick up line. There's no way to figure out how she's going to react since all women are different. I'd think you'd have better luck if you had regular contact with her since most LEOs have their 'game face' when on duty. Just short of stalking her, I'd find out what gym she went to and hope to bump into her a couple of times and just ask her out.

So, what part of this is NOT stalking?
Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 2:37:24 PM EST
You can come over and shoot my dog anytime.....
"This government is corrupt at its core, its actions are criminal, and I no longer recognize its right to lead." - Major Edward Beck

Who stood before me was my enemy - Don’t tread on me
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 2:39:34 PM EST

Originally Posted By David_ESM:

Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?


By these numbers I am getting a .01575% chance of being pulled over by a cute single non lesbian cop. And I think your numbers are hopeful.

So...THERE'S STILL A CHANCE!!!!


Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 2:42:21 PM EST

SIR PSYCHO SEXY
A long long long long time ago
before the wind before the snow
lived a man lived a man I know
lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me
sometimes I find I need to scream aah

He's a freak of nature but we love him so
he's a freak of nature but we let him go

Deep inside the garden of Eden
standing there with my hard on bleedin'
there's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
good God no that would be treason
believe me Eve she gave good reason
botty looking too good not to be squeezin' (squeezin')
oh creamy beaver hotter than a fever
I'm a givin' 'cause she's the reciever
I won't and I don't hang up until I please her
oh makin' her feel like an over achiever
I take it away for a minute just to tease her
then I give it back a little bit deeper (deeper)

Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah he's the man that I met 1 time
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah he's the man that left me blind
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah he's the man he's the man he's the man
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah yeah

He's a freak of nature but we love him so
he's a freak of nature but we let him go

I got stopped by a lady cop
in my automobile
she said "get out and spread your legs"
and then she tried to cop a feel
that cop she was all dressed in blue
was she pretty? boy I'm tellin' you
she stuck my butt with her big black stick
I said "what's up?" now suck my dick
like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb
she whimpered just a little when she felt my hand
on her crotch so very warm
I could feel her getting wet through her uniform
proppin' her up on the black and white
unzipped and slipped "ooh that's tight"
I swatted her like no SWAT team can
turned a cherry pie right into jam (jam)

Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah
I'm the man that you met 1 time
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah I'm the man that leave you blind
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah I'm the man I'm the man I'm the man
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah yeah

Hel-hel-hello young woman that I love
pretty punk rock mamma that I'm thinking of
hold me naked if you will
in your arms in your legs in you pussy I'd kill I'd kill
to be with you to kiss with you I do miss you I love you

Lay me down (x8)

Descending waves of graceful pleasure
for your love there is no measure
her curves they bend with subtle splendor

Oh now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the funk will make me freak
if I should die before I waked
allow me Lord to rock out naked
bored by the ordinary time to take a trip
calling up a little girl with a bull whip
lickety split go snap "snap"
girl gettin' off all in my lap
the tallest tree the sweetest sap
blowin' my ass right off the map
oohah and it's nice out here
I think I'll stay for a while

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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 2:48:14 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/22/2010 2:51:14 PM EST by Jdude]
I was pulled over by a woman cop in colorado a few years ago.

I was sitting on the ground next to my motorcycle while she wrote the ticket. She told me that she didn't write me up for anything except the item she was required to by law (forgot my insurance papers or something).

She then touched my jacket and said "that is a really nice motorcycle jacket". By touched, I mean she put her hand on my arm and guided me closer. As in, "Take me!"

She was HOT.

I am absolutely convinced she would have or right there on the hood of her car.

Being a married man, I declined and found my way out of the situation.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 2:49:19 PM EST
Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?



So, basically, you saw the only one on the planet. Better get crackin'.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:00:46 PM EST
Ask her if you can SIIHPAPP

If she is a member of ARF.com it would be a great ice breaker that could end bad or end with the two of you laughing and more.
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:00:51 PM EST
"Girlfriend hasn't been treating you right, huh sweetcheeks?"
“He could have decided to be a Wal-Mart greeter – now it’s time to set his ass on fire.”
– Clint Smith
I am god
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:03:28 PM EST
Those are the best tits Ive ever seen to run a line of coke off of.
John_Wayne777- Well when I have dinner with Todd Saturday night or with Ken Hackathorn in a few weeks I'll try to bring a court stenographer and a judge along.

RePp-Cool name drop and maybe the most ironic post all in one
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:07:23 PM EST
Originally Posted By Jdude:
I was pulled over by a woman cop in colorado a few years ago.

I was sitting on the ground next to my motorcycle while she wrote the ticket. She told me that she didn't write me up for anything except the item she was required to by law (forgot my insurance papers or something).

She then touched my jacket and said "that is a really nice motorcycle jacket". By touched, I mean she put her hand on my arm and guided me closer. As in, "Take me!"

She was HOT.

I am absolutely convinced she would have or right there on the hood of her car.

Being a married man, I declined and found my way out of the situation.


you know how I know you're gay?

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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:12:10 PM EST
If you mace me, does that mean you're into S&M?
Follow Chairman Meow
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:17:31 PM EST
Never invite the (wo)man into your life.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." T. Jefferson
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:19:07 PM EST


Walk up to her and say "Mine's bigger."

When she turns toward you, point at her holster and repeat "Mine's bigger."



markl32: Sometimes I think we need more running from saber tooth tigers to put life in perspective.

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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:21:02 PM EST
" Wanna play hide the night stick?"
RIP SSG Juan M Solorio
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:21:03 PM EST
Red Hot Chili Peppers addressed this scenario like 20 years ago.

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The opinions above are my own and do not represent any entity.



Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
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Link Posted: 10/22/2010 3:21:12 PM EST
Originally Posted By SultanOfBrunei:
[Lil Wayne:]
(Yeahh)... Doin a buck in the latest drop
I got stopped by a lady cop
Ha Ha... she got me thinking I can date a cop
Ha Ha... cause her uniform pants are so tight
She read me my rights
She put me in nah car, she cut off all the lights
She said I had the right to remain silent
Now I got her hollering sounding like a siren


Mrs. Officah Mrs. Officah tell your lieutenant get dem cuffs off of ya......,
Membership courtesy of mac130.
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