Site Notices
7/28/2014 11:40:43 AM
  Previous Page
Page:  / 3
Author
Message
Schadenfreuda
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
Offline
Posts: 9612
Feedback: 100% (2)
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:13:44 PM
I saw some shitbird get busted today.

One of the officers was a SMOKING hot woman...and by "smoking hot", I mean really cute, girl-next-door with a nice butt and a super-cute face.

This made me wonder, what would be the BEST line to use on a female cop if I were ever to get pulled over?

All I can come up with would be something along the lines of, "If you weren't so pretty, I'd be really pissed about getting pulled over."

Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
grey50beast
Offline
Posts: 40
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:14:43 PM
So is court considered our first date or ?
USMC6177
Ever shoot a XM218 nekked?
Offline
Posts: 6368
Feedback: 100% (76)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:14:54 PM
Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
I saw some shitbird get busted today.

One of the officers was a SMOKING hot woman...and by "smoking hot", I mean really cute, girl-next-door with a nice butt and a super-cute face.

This made me wonder, what would be the BEST line to use on a female cop if I were ever to get pulled over?

All I can come up with would be something along the lines of, "If you weren't so pretty, I'd be really pissed about getting pulled over."



In before you get cuffed and tazed
"A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough to be given a square deal afterwards. More than that no man is entitled, and less than that no man shall have."
Theodore Roosevelt, 1903
xylo
Member
Offline
Posts: 3901
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:15:23 PM
No words, just show her your dick.

Seriously, chicks dig a man who takes control.
redoubt
Offline
Posts: 859
Feedback: 100% (1)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:15:46 PM
Originally Posted By USMC6177:
Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
I saw some shitbird get busted today.

One of the officers was a SMOKING hot woman...and by "smoking hot", I mean really cute, girl-next-door with a nice butt and a super-cute face.

This made me wonder, what would be the BEST line to use on a female cop if I were ever to get pulled over?

All I can come up with would be something along the lines of, "If you weren't so pretty, I'd be really pissed about getting pulled over."



In before you get cuffed and tazed


I think that's his ultimate goal.
DonS
Offline
Posts: 13365
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:18:18 PM
The few I've known have been kinda nuts, and chased uniforms.

I thnk the first step to nailing them is to put on a police uniform.
gearjammer351
Offline
Posts: 229
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:19:00 PM
I'm not sure, but I can tell you what not to do. Don't run into her car.

I saw a hot lady cop once going into the convenience store, so I lingered so I could see her again when come out. Well, I did, then we both backed out of our parking spaces (we both were in small cars and there was a big SUV in between) in opposite directions and bumped into each other.

She was annoyed and insisted it was my fault, so I had to pay to re-paint her bumper.
AKsala
Offline
Posts: 894
Feedback: 100% (1)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:20:44 PM
Here, say exactly this:

Are you a single gal?

Yes/no

Want to go get a drink with me after work?

Yes/no
Schadenfreuda
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
Offline
Posts: 9614
Feedback: 100% (2)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:21:21 PM
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?

Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
Schadenfreuda
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
Offline
Posts: 9615
Feedback: 100% (2)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:22:33 PM
[Last Edit: 10/22/2010 6:23:27 PM by Schadenfreuda]

Originally Posted By AKsala:
Here, say exactly this:

Are you a single gal?

Yes/no

Want to go get a drink with me after work?

Yes/no

Logic rarely works well for me, and I don't drink much...

Which brings me down more...

What percent of that 3% from above would be faithful nymphomaniacs who don't drink?

Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
SultanOfBrunei
Offline
Posts: 6553
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:23:07 PM
[Lil Wayne:]
(Yeahh)... Doin a buck in the latest drop
I got stopped by a lady cop
Ha Ha... she got me thinking I can date a cop
Ha Ha... cause her uniform pants are so tight
She read me my rights
She put me in nah car, she cut off all the lights
She said I had the right to remain silent
Now I got her hollering sounding like a siren
confusiussaid
Member
Offline
Posts: 91
Feedback: 100% (1)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:23:15 PM
Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?



I'm not going to tell you the exact odds there... but lets just say they are long. Real long.
Tactical_Jew
Member
Online
Posts: 13984
Feedback: 100% (5)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:23:46 PM
"you know, your ass is really not bad at all considering you sit in that car all day baby"
bulldog1967
2nd Amendment Film Maker
Offline
Posts: 16864
Feedback: 100% (27)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:24:42 PM
"Ever use those cuffs on someone outside the line of duty"?
Fellow Virginians! Help protect YOUR 2nd Amendment rights!

JOIN the Virginia Citizen's Defense League!

www.vcdl.org

DzlBenz
Upper Level Management™
Offline
Posts: 27344
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:26:13 PM
"You call that a nightstick? This is a nightstick!"
ONLY PEOPLE WHO LACK A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF CONFIDENCE AND CAN'T COME UP WITH A DECENT ARGUMENT TYPE IN ALL CAPS.
"Boooop." - Captain Christopher Pike

"Sitting. Poop thread." - Bama-Shooter
brushdog
I've got nowhere to fly to.
Offline
Posts: 6269
Feedback: 100% (142)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:28:07 PM
There is no one, great pick up line. There's no way to figure out how she's going to react since all women are different. I'd think you'd have better luck if you had regular contact with her since most LEOs have their 'game face' when on duty. Just short of stalking her, I'd find out what gym she went to and hope to bump into her a couple of times and just ask her out.
7260 - September 19, 2004
Dac1915
Offline
Posts: 2898
Feedback: 100% (2)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:28:16 PM
Just say "hey you wanna fuck sometime?"

P806
Offline
Posts: 11294
Feedback: 100% (44)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:29:57 PM
NEVER, I mean NEVER stick your dick in a woman who has a badge....NEVER!
nvgeologist
Ablative Pointman
Offline
Posts: 443
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:31:08 PM
Just get a "Honk if you are DTF" sticker for the rear window of your lifted Chevy. Gets 'em every time.
scottfire1957
Member
Offline
Posts: 6164
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:34:27 PM
How about something simple, like "FRISK THIS, BITCH!"


Ought to work, yes?
From the pothandle of Texas
Lexington
Lead deficient diet.
Offline
Posts: 5929
Feedback: 100% (79)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:37:52 PM
Should we take my case to the DA, or should we settle it at your place tonight?
I have only three miracles, and two of them are card tricks.
Blaculo
Cathode Biased
Offline
Posts: 1420
Feedback: 100% (50)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:40:06 PM

Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?


Chicks dig confidence. You got this one in the bag.
"Your new society sounds charming." - Robert Morgan

"The time to fo draweth more near every day." - Edgar Allen Foe
David_ESM
Member
Offline
Posts: 4969
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:48:31 PM

Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?


By these numbers I am getting a .01575% chance of being pulled over by a cute single non lesbian cop. And I think your numbers are hopeful.
David_ESM: "Wait. So have you ever been cock bit by a goose?"
Kolat: "Yes"

Cock biting update (8/12/10) Kolat: "Yes. More then once."
YosemiteSam
Offline
Posts: 771
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:48:54 PM
Did ja shoot any dogs today??......Y'want to??......
DonS
Offline
Posts: 13372
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:50:30 PM
I got a speeding ticket from a female cop once. She was good looking, but not smoking hot. I made no effort to pick her up.
confusiussaid
Member
Offline
Posts: 93
Feedback: 100% (1)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:51:20 PM
Originally Posted By David_ESM:

Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?


By these numbers I am getting a .01575% chance of being pulled over by a cute single non lesbian cop. And I think your numbers are hopeful.


You were not supposed to tell him the exact odds, he may not do it now! Could have potentially been excellent dash-cam footage
Agent_Funky
Duc, sequere, aut de via decede, Savvy?
Online
Posts: 7301
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:52:11 PM
Best way to pick up a female cop.....?


I'm guessing by the belt. Less chance of losing grip and dropping the poor lass.

Where's the rum?

Why is the rum always gone?

Proud Member - Ranstad's Militia
The_Beer_Slayer
Combat Moderator
Online
Posts: 54830
Feedback: 100% (11)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:54:00 PM
no maam that's not heroin in my pants.... i really am glad to see you!
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in
defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more
important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is
supplemental.
confusiussaid
Member
Offline
Posts: 94
Feedback: 100% (1)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:54:10 PM
Originally Posted By Agent_Funky:
Best way to pick up a female cop.....?


I'm guessing by the belt. Less chance of losing grip and dropping the poor lass.



the pirate wins
DienBienPhu54
Offline
Posts: 4288
Feedback: 100% (4)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:56:47 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaPv5MXlnIg&feature=related



"Why dont they call you guys Officeress? you know like Actress?"
thedoctors308
Po-leece
Offline
Posts: 29458
Feedback: 100% (14)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:58:25 PM
Run.
This post contains personal opinion only and should not be construed as information released in an official capacity
blacksunshinez51
Member
Offline
Posts: 5961
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:58:29 PM
Originally Posted By bulldog1967:
"Ever use those cuffs on someone outside the line of duty"?


I was thinking of something along those same lines.
thedoctors308
Po-leece
Offline
Posts: 29459
Feedback: 100% (14)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 6:58:50 PM
Originally Posted By DonS:
The few I've known have been kinda nuts, and chased uniforms.

I thnk the first step to nailing them is to put on a police uniform sergeant's stripes.


Fixed
This post contains personal opinion only and should not be construed as information released in an official capacity
Friendly_Crusader
Offline
Posts: 3933
Feedback: 100% (85)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:08:22 PM
"if i made a furtive movement on you, would you prone me out?"

that's all i got for now..
Bonk2029
RIP Puggie, I miss you
Offline
Posts: 5557
Feedback: 100% (6)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:20:14 PM
"Does your baton expand? Because mine does."
"The will to win compares little to the will to prepare to win." - Paul "Bear" Bryant
Schadenfreuda
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
Offline
Posts: 9619
Feedback: 100% (2)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:36:18 PM

Originally Posted By brushdog:
There is no one, great pick up line. There's no way to figure out how she's going to react since all women are different. I'd think you'd have better luck if you had regular contact with her since most LEOs have their 'game face' when on duty. Just short of stalking her, I'd find out what gym she went to and hope to bump into her a couple of times and just ask her out.

So, what part of this is NOT stalking?
Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
TacticalMOLONLABE
Jaffa, kree!
Offline
Posts: 12215
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:37:24 PM
You can come over and shoot my dog anytime.....
"This government is corrupt at its core, its actions are criminal, and I no longer recognize its right to lead." - Major Edward Beck

Who stood before me was my enemy - Don’t tread on me
Schadenfreuda
I get a nickel for every stupid thing I say.
Offline
Posts: 9620
Feedback: 100% (2)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:39:34 PM

Originally Posted By David_ESM:

Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?


By these numbers I am getting a .01575% chance of being pulled over by a cute single non lesbian cop. And I think your numbers are hopeful.

So...THERE'S STILL A CHANCE!!!!


Hoping God has an awesome sense of humor.
emerson-bigguns
Offline
Posts: 808
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:42:21 PM

SIR PSYCHO SEXY
A long long long long time ago
before the wind before the snow
lived a man lived a man I know
lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me
sometimes I find I need to scream aah

He's a freak of nature but we love him so
he's a freak of nature but we let him go

Deep inside the garden of Eden
standing there with my hard on bleedin'
there's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
good God no that would be treason
believe me Eve she gave good reason
botty looking too good not to be squeezin' (squeezin')
oh creamy beaver hotter than a fever
I'm a givin' 'cause she's the reciever
I won't and I don't hang up until I please her
oh makin' her feel like an over achiever
I take it away for a minute just to tease her
then I give it back a little bit deeper (deeper)

Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah he's the man that I met 1 time
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah he's the man that left me blind
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah he's the man he's the man he's the man
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah yeah

He's a freak of nature but we love him so
he's a freak of nature but we let him go

I got stopped by a lady cop
in my automobile
she said "get out and spread your legs"
and then she tried to cop a feel
that cop she was all dressed in blue
was she pretty? boy I'm tellin' you
she stuck my butt with her big black stick
I said "what's up?" now suck my dick
like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb
she whimpered just a little when she felt my hand
on her crotch so very warm
I could feel her getting wet through her uniform
proppin' her up on the black and white
unzipped and slipped "ooh that's tight"
I swatted her like no SWAT team can
turned a cherry pie right into jam (jam)

Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah
I'm the man that you met 1 time
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah I'm the man that leave you blind
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah I'm the man I'm the man I'm the man
Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yeah yeah

Hel-hel-hello young woman that I love
pretty punk rock mamma that I'm thinking of
hold me naked if you will
in your arms in your legs in you pussy I'd kill I'd kill
to be with you to kiss with you I do miss you I love you

Lay me down (x8)

Descending waves of graceful pleasure
for your love there is no measure
her curves they bend with subtle splendor

Oh now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the funk will make me freak
if I should die before I waked
allow me Lord to rock out naked
bored by the ordinary time to take a trip
calling up a little girl with a bull whip
lickety split go snap "snap"
girl gettin' off all in my lap
the tallest tree the sweetest sap
blowin' my ass right off the map
oohah and it's nice out here
I think I'll stay for a while

Jdude
Member
Offline
Posts: 433
Feedback: 100% (2)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:48:14 PM
[Last Edit: 10/22/2010 7:51:14 PM by Jdude]
I was pulled over by a woman cop in colorado a few years ago.

I was sitting on the ground next to my motorcycle while she wrote the ticket. She told me that she didn't write me up for anything except the item she was required to by law (forgot my insurance papers or something).

She then touched my jacket and said "that is a really nice motorcycle jacket". By touched, I mean she put her hand on my arm and guided me closer. As in, "Take me!"

She was HOT.

I am absolutely convinced she would have or right there on the hood of her car.

Being a married man, I declined and found my way out of the situation.
Mosspointers
Member
Offline
Posts: 4588
Feedback: 100% (1)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:49:19 PM
Originally Posted By Schadenfreuda:
No, I'm serious.

The only problems with my idea are;

1) I never get pulled over.

2) If I DID get pulled over, the chance of it being a female cop is like 7%

3) If I was "lucky" enough to get pulled over by that 7%, a quarter of that would probably be lesbian, or look like one.

4) Of those non-lesbians, I would guess that 90% of them were married.

5) Of those 10% unmarried, non-lesbians, what are the chances that she would be really cute? Maybe 3%?



So, basically, you saw the only one on the planet. Better get crackin'.
Proud Member of Ranstad's Militia
© Mosspointers 2010 All rights reserved

just in case
TZapp
Member
Offline
Posts: 1631
Feedback: 100% (22)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:00:46 PM
Ask her if you can SIIHPAPP

If she is a member of ARF.com it would be a great ice breaker that could end bad or end with the two of you laughing and more.
No arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. - Ronald Reagan (January 20, 1981)
Terrato
Unrepentant Southpaw
Offline
Posts: 3746
Feedback: 100% (25)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:00:51 PM
"Girlfriend hasn't been treating you right, huh sweetcheeks?"
“He could have decided to be a Wal-Mart greeter – now it’s time to set his ass on fire.”
– Clint Smith
RePp
I am god
Offline
Posts: 3317
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:03:28 PM
Those are the best tits Ive ever seen to run a line of coke off of.
John_Wayne777- Well when I have dinner with Todd Saturday night or with Ken Hackathorn in a few weeks I'll try to bring a court stenographer and a judge along.

RePp-Cool name drop and maybe the most ironic post all in one
grey50beast
Offline
Posts: 41
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:07:23 PM
Originally Posted By Jdude:
I was pulled over by a woman cop in colorado a few years ago.

I was sitting on the ground next to my motorcycle while she wrote the ticket. She told me that she didn't write me up for anything except the item she was required to by law (forgot my insurance papers or something).

She then touched my jacket and said "that is a really nice motorcycle jacket". By touched, I mean she put her hand on my arm and guided me closer. As in, "Take me!"

She was HOT.

I am absolutely convinced she would have or right there on the hood of her car.

Being a married man, I declined and found my way out of the situation.


you know how I know you're gay?

MrKandiyohi
Member
Offline
Posts: 2172
Feedback: 0% (0)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:12:10 PM
If you mace me, does that mean you're into S&M?
far_right
Follow Chairman Meow
Online
Posts: 1939
Feedback: 100% (41)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:17:31 PM
Never invite the (wo)man into your life.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." T. Jefferson
Mech2007
Member
Offline
Posts: 12393
Feedback: 100% (3)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:19:07 PM


Walk up to her and say "Mine's bigger."

When she turns toward you, point at her holster and repeat "Mine's bigger."



markl32: Sometimes I think we need more running from saber tooth tigers to put life in perspective.

SaltyDog
Offline
Posts: 1008
Feedback: 100% (26)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:21:02 PM
" Wanna play hide the night stick?"
bcw107
RIP SSG Juan M Solorio
InstructorMilitary
Offline
Posts: 14206
Feedback: 100% (44)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:21:03 PM
Red Hot Chili Peppers addressed this scenario like 20 years ago.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
The opinions above are my own and do not represent any entity.



marcushire
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
Offline
Posts: 1884
Feedback: 100% (1)
Link To This Post
Posted: 10/22/2010 8:21:12 PM
Originally Posted By SultanOfBrunei:
[Lil Wayne:]
(Yeahh)... Doin a buck in the latest drop
I got stopped by a lady cop
Ha Ha... she got me thinking I can date a cop
Ha Ha... cause her uniform pants are so tight
She read me my rights
She put me in nah car, she cut off all the lights
She said I had the right to remain silent
Now I got her hollering sounding like a siren


Mrs. Officah Mrs. Officah tell your lieutenant get dem cuffs off of ya......,
Membership courtesy of mac130.
  Previous Page
Page:  / 3