Sorry for the delay. Been working 12-13 hour shifts for about a week and a half. I hope to be done and posted on or about 15 June.

Ditto

Long time, no hear, and not even a simple 'HI' to start things off. What an asshole.

BTW, don't forget "asshole" is a term of endearment in ZEADS.

Guys,
If we were a giant Voltron team, you guys would be the best asshole ever!!!

Myself, being short and girthy... well, i guess we know my role here, bein the dick

Great thread.
Glad to see the ZEADS back and not forgotten.
Been holding my Sig ever since. Been a few years now.
I have not been looking in the Zombie Central latley.
I will have to be around more.

I tried writing and didn't like how it turned out. Then I drew a blank for a week. Writers block???

Anyway, starting part 3 for the 3rd time tonight. Getting creative again. Sorry for the 2nd delay.

So to speak.

bump

I added that again just for you because you like hearing it so much.

Thanks. We didn't forget either.

Tick , tick , tick......

I think this is the longest one. I will have a pt 4 and that will be it. Sorry it's so long. I just kind of grew and grew. I still have to take him to the kill house and have the rest of ZEADS return from their exercise.

[The next morning I wake up to the smell of bacon and sausage. I get cleaned up and put on a clean set of PT gear. As I’m walking down stairs, I hear DLL and WEPS quietly talking. I hear plates clanking together. WEPS sets down 3 plates as I walk into the kitchen.]

Good morning, Max.

Good morning.

I hope I didn’t wake you this morning with my screams.

I heard it, but I fell back asleep. I’m sorry for the line of questioning that made you do that.

No, no, don’t worry about it. It happens anyway, like I said, a few times a week. I feel bad for my wife for having to put up with it. I rarely remember screaming. Sometimes I wake up to her cradling my head. Those are the times I know I’ve screamed. [WEPS walks over to his wife and gives her a hug. He grabs a pan with bacon and sausage in it. ] Would you like some?

Yes. Breakfast smells great. [WEPS puts sausage and bacon on all three plates. DLL does the same with pancakes and they both sit down.]

If you could, Max, grab the orange juice from the fridge. While you’re in there, grab one of those blue cans with the ‘M’ on it.

Ok. [I recognize the can as a pre-war energy drink. I put the items on the table for us and sit down.]

[DLL] If you want more food, just grab it for yourself. There’s plenty for the 3 of us.

[The phone rings. WEPS gets up to answer it.]
This is WEPS…morning, doc…fuck, when?...ok, give me an hour. I’m eating right now and then I’m going to shower. [WEPS hangs up the phone. ] Son of a bitch…I don’t know how he does it. Doc Allen wants to see me this morning. I’m not scheduled until Wednesday. Somehow he knows when one of us has an ‘episode’, as he calls it, and wants to see us.

He just knows? [I glance to DLL]

She wouldn’t tell him. I told you, she’s better for me then that shrink any day. Damnit, I hope this isn’t the start to a long, shitty day.
[After WEPS eats, he excuses himself to shower. He tells me to just put on some normal clothes after I’ve showered. I take out the pair of jeans I came in with and one of the shirts that DLL bought for me. DLL has washed the clothes I came in with. I grab my voice recorder and meet WEPS back downstairs, who is wearing a flightsuit and his pistol strapped to his leg.]I need to grab some papers from my office real quick. Doc likes us to write down how we feel for the week and some other random thoughts. Too touchy-feely for me, but whatever. I don’t write out everything for him. I’ll let you read it on the way. [WEPS grabs the papers and hands them to me.]

Am I underdressed? Should I wear be wearing something else?

You mean the flightsuit and gun? Nah, this is my way of doing psychological warfare on the doc. He can do his bullshit, I can do mine. You’ll see. By the way, when we get there and he starts questioning me, don’t contradict anything I say until me and you are out of there, got it? That’s a sure way of getting on my bad side.

Um, ok. [WEPS gives his wife a hug and a kiss. I see they are very affectionate with each other. Later WEPS tells me again that she is his life-line to sanity and without her, he would have done himself in a long time ago.] She saves my life everyday… [as he puts it.]

[On the way to meet Doc Allen, I scan through WEPS weekly diary as he calls it. I notice that a lot of words that start with ‘s’, WEPS has put a ‘p’ in front of it. I ask him about it. ]

The ‘p’ is silent like in psychologist, psycho, psychiatrist and pseudonym….you get the idea. My way of making jokes on the docs’ expense. He won’t see the humor in it, but I do. [I point out that the word ‘shut’ doesn’t have a ‘p’ in front of it. WEPS lets out a laugh.] That’s the ‘s-h’ sound, not like those other words I rattled off with just the ‘s’ in it. [Strangely, I find the humor in this and let out a laugh.]You understand. Great. Not too many people can understand the humor that military men and women see in everyday things. It’s carried over in a bigger fashion to us in ZEADS. By the way, he hates being called doc. Yet another jab at him. We’re going to our headquarters building not too far away. Its right in-between the housing and flightline areas. [I hand WEPS back his papers.]

[I see what looks like an armored bus in front of the headquarters building.] What is that?

That there is Rolling Thunder. The Motor-T guys transformed an old school bus into a wheeled, armored fortress. It helped us in the early stages of the war and during the clearing of phoenix. There are plenty of rifle barrel slots for multiple shooters. There are a couple of hatches on top where we can place some turrets. It’s a big, ugly beast that is the most beautiful thing when you need it. It stands as a monument in front of our HQ building, but it can be readied for use in 2 hours if we need it. [We stop in front of the HQ building.] Remember, don’t contradict me until afterwards, if you choose to. You can stick this in for the doc since he’ll be reading our story eventually. “Fuck you, doc. Have a nice day.”

[We get out of the SUV and walk in. On the walls are pictures upon pictures of ZEADS members and Zombies. There are dozens of action shots in here. There is a frame with all the patches from the different squads. There are pictures of vehicles and what looks like downtown Phoenix before, during and after the Zombie war. There are multiple offices along this corridor. Deeper in is a whole corridor with all the names and a small picture of the fallen ZEADS members on the walls. Also in this corridor are some larger offices. WEPS leads me into one of them. ]

Welcome to my working office. Not only am I the Public Affairs guy, I’m the number 3 in charge under USMC_DAD and 50Cal. No one else wanted the job and I wasn’t here at the time to defend myself, so I got voted in. I was the only senior guy on vacation time up at Mountain Town when they held votes. I still hold a grudge against all those assholes who voted me in. Fuckers! [WEPS smiles the whole time he says this.]

Was there an opening in that slot?

Yes. The same week I was gone. Our old number 3 guy was attacked just outside the compound. Some Zombie fuckers in the river just outside the compound gates. The planets aligned themselves just right and by a miracle of not being here, I got voted into his place. All the squad leaders have a small office in the entry corridor. There’s a big briefing room in the corridor opposite this one. Well, let’s go see Doc Allen upstairs. Fuck, this is going to be a shitty day.

[We walk to a flight of stairs at the end of the corridor and walk up. Doc Allen’s office is at this end of this 2nd floor corridor. WEPS knocks once. Someone says ‘enter’. WEPS lets out a sigh, looks at me and puts a huge smile on his face. We walk in. ]

Helloo, doc. [WEPS draws out hello a little bit.] How are you this fine, Zombie killing day?

[Allen] You’re late. And when was the last time you killed a Zombie?

Well, in fact, I killed one on the way here. I would have taken a picture as proof, but I didn’t have a camera on me. If you tell me, ‘no pics, it didn’t happen’, I’ll shoot you with the same gun I shot the old puss sack with. [Allen stares at WEPS] C’mon, doc. Have a sense of humor.

[Allen] I do have a sense of humor, just not like yours.

Well, if it’s not like mine, you might as well not have one. Am I right, Max?[I look to WEPS and Allen sheepishly. ]By the way, Doc, this is Max. Max, Doc Allen. He’s the one who wrote the book about the Zombie war.

[Allen] I didn’t know anyone wrote on it.

Wow, doc, you need to get out more. Enjoy life. Get out of this office more often.

[Allen] I do enjoy my life. And stop calling me doc, you know I don’t like that. I’m a psychologist.

[WEPS jabs me with his elbow and winks.] OK, doc is short for doctor, right?

[Allen] Of course it is, we both know this.

So then what is short for psychologist? Psycho? [Allen lets out a deep breath.]Well, doc it is. OK, doc, what do you owe the honor of my visit today?

[Allen] I have the feeling you had an episode recently.

You know, I don’t know how you know this shit. But if you imply my wife told you like the last time, well, you and me are going to have words. [WEPS puts his hand on his handgun.]

[Allen] Are you threatening me?

Nope, I’m warning you. Go ahead, report me. You know reports run through me first before they get to 50 cal and USMC_DAD. In fact, I’ll let them know myself. You don’t have to run to mommy and tell on me. [Allen glares at WEPS. WEPS tells me later this is his version of psychological warfare for Allen] Well, now that our initial jabbing is over, let’s get this over with. Max, have a seat over there. [I sit where WEPS points to. WEPS takes a seat next to Allen.]

[Allen] Do you have your papers for this session?

I sure do. [WEPS lets out a snicker as he hands Allen his weekly diary. Allen starts reading it. He reads half of it before he finally says something.]

[Allen] WEPS, why are there P’s in front of some of the ‘S’ words and not all of them? You can at least be consistent.

[I let out a snicker of my own at this point. WEPS and Allen both look at me.] Sorry.

Doc, I thought you went to college. Those P’s are silent, like in psychologist. Shit and Shut are ‘S-H’ words. Obviously you don’t have a sense of humor. Even Max laughed at it. Oh, doc, what am I going to do with you?

[Allen hands back the papers to WEPS.] Grow up, WEPS.

We’re the same age, doc.

[Allen] About your episode.

I don’t know what you’re referring to.

[Allen] There was a scream in the vicinity of your house.

Oh, that. My wife scared the shit out of me with a fake spider. It was in the shape of a huge tarantula.

[Allen] At 2 o’clock in the morning?

Fear knows no time, doc.

[Allen] So one of the biggest Zombie killers is afraid of a spider?

And ghosts. I’m terrified of ghost towns or homes where people have died in them. My wife once had me convinced that….[Allen interrupts]

[Allen] Let’s get back on track. So you’re telling me that your wife scared you at 2 o’clock in the morning with a fake spider.

You got it.

[Allen] Is that the truth?

I don’t know, doc, look into my eyes and you tell me. [Allen and WEPS stare at each other for several seconds.] You blinked first. I win!!! [WEPS pumps his fist.]

[Allen] OK, WEPS, I’ll take your word for it. I’ll see you on Wednesday.

I doubt it. You called me in four days early. I’m fine, doc. You’re the fucked up one.

[Allen] Have a nice day, WEPS. Don’t slam my door on the way out.

Fuck you, doc. Have a nice day. [WEPS and I walk to the door. WEPS holds it open for me. He closes it with a slam.] Remind me later to check the light and telephone poles in our complex.

For what?We walk back down to his office.]

I have a hunch that son of a bitch has mini-microphones posted somewhere. He said ‘in the vicinity of my house’. I’ve seen a style of microphone that activates when it senses so many decibels. It didn’t work for our uses, but someone as devious as him…I wouldn’t put it past him. His random appointments started about a year ago out of the blue.

He’s devious?

If in fact he did post mini-microphones somewhere, I’m going to consider him devious and give him a pat on the back for getting something past us. We’re going to have fun with him first after we find them. Call it a test of our own. [WEPS opens a closet where he grabs a vest and rifle.]

Is that the same rifle from yesterday when we dropped off the trainees?

You got it. After my wife scared me with the fake spider [WEPS smirks at me] I couldn’t sleep. I came in for a few minutes to update some paperwork and get some fresh air. I dropped this stuff off while I was here. I’d like to take my wife out to lunch and show you around Luke AFB a little bit. How does that sound to you?

Sounds great. What about the ‘Kill House’ and the rest of the tour?

There won’t be anyone there today. We’ll do it tomorrow. It’ll much more exciting with the Chinese and Russian trainees there. You and I will run through it first and then we’ll watch them.

[WEPS closes his closet. I follow him out of the building and into his SUV, where he puts his gear in the rear. It’s a short ride back to his house. After we park and get out, he walks to the back of the SUV. He does the ‘quiet’ sign and points to the top of the light pole nearest his house. We walk up and down the street a bit looking at the other light and telephone poles. SoloDevice comes out of his house and walks over to us.]

[SoloDevice] What are you doing staring at these poles? Are they turning you on in a strange phallic way? Or are you thinking of smoking them? I always thought you were a pole smoker. [Laughs]

Fuck you. Who let you out of your cage today?

[SoloDevice] Your mom did.

Wow…original come back, asshole. Seriously though, I’m following a hunch.

[SoloDevice] Ah, fuck. You and your hunches. Are your hunches ever wrong?

Sometimes. [WEPS tells SoloDevice of his meeting with Allen and his hunch about the mini-microphones.]

[SoloDevice] Son of a bitch…he called me in two days early a month ago.

What did you tell him?

[SoloDevice] I told him I put peanut butter on my balls and had my dog lick it off. That the dog bit me in the process.

You asshole, no one has a dog in the compound.

[SoloDevice] Yeah, it worked have worked if we did have dogs. Bastard saw right through it and tried to get into my head again.

You know, we should have made you wear a thicker helmet when you were knocking buildings over.

[SoloDevice] Fuck you, WEPS

I did notice some bumps on the poles that shouldn’t be there. Here’s what I want to do tonight.[WEPS tells SoloDevice what he plans on doing to test the doc and his mini micro-phones.]

[SoloDevice] I like it. I’ll tell everyone tonight as they file in. 6 o’clock, right?

I sure hope so. I think seeing doc today was a bad sign for me.

[SoloDevice] Alright, asshole, see you later.

I’ll send my mom over to lock you back in your cage.

[SoloDevice] You do that. [Laughs]

[On the short walk back to WEPS house, I ask him about his parents.]

They’re dead. So, what are feeling like for lunch?

[I’m shocked at the frankness and abrupt change of subject.] Whatever you plan on.

Mexican it is. [We walk into his house. He tells me to grab several waters from the fridge while he changes. He comes out wearing jeans and shirt with a backpack over his shoulder. DLL follows him out also wearing jeans with a nice blouse.] Been too wrapped up in showing you around that I haven’t spent too much time with my wife.

[I hand out the waters and follow them out to the SUV.] You don’t lock your doors?

To keep my house safe from whom? [I don’t answer. He’s right. This compound is one of the most secure places in the U.S. with dozens, hundreds of armed men trained to kill the dead as well as the living. ][DLL and I get in while WEPS puts his backpack in the rear with his other gear. He tells me it’s extra stuff in case the shit hits the fan while we’re outside of the compound.]

I doubt anything will happen though…knock on wood. [He taps his head a couple of times. He speaks into a radio.] Guard, WEPS.

[Guard] Go ahead, WEPS.

We’ll be there in 5 minutes. Open the back door.

[Guard] You got it.

Who is Guard?

The guard tower…the main gate you came through. We’ll show you around while we pass through. [Turns to his wife.] All buckled up, Babe?

[DLL] Yep.

[It only takes a couple of minutes to get to the gate. The back side is open. We pull in about halfway through where WEPS parks. The three of us get out.]

This is our main entrance. Everyone who passes through our gates gets checked either passively or actively. Passively, being the guards just look in through vehicle windows at us and our families looking for blood and bandages, shit like that, or actively where most of our visitors get checked in those offices over there like on your first day.

Why is this place so big?

It’s mostly used as a landing platform for the helos. We can cram our families in here in case our compound gets over-run. With the wall surrounding us, that happening is very unlikely, but you never know. We can seal them in. Upstairs is several weeks worth of food and water for them. There’s a vent system for fresh air. Normally this is manned by 6 people, like I said before, for 48 hours at a time. Also upstairs is a sleeping area, a small gym, bathrooms and a recreation room for the guards. Let’s go upstairs. [The 3 of us walk to the stairs I took on the first day. About halfway up is a small door I didn’t notice before. WEPS turns a handle and we walk on through.] The 2nd floor here is for the guards. It’s fairly big for just so few guards. Only half of the 2nd floor is used for them, the other half along with the 3rd floor is used for supplies and living areas in case we need to evac our families here. [I do the math in my head real quick..20 feet for the bottom floor where we entered and 10 feet for the 2nd and 3rd floors each for 40 feet. Makes sense.] There’s a walkway on the 2nd floor between the 2 towers…there’s also an open air walk-way up on the roof level where the landing pad is at. The windows you see actually roll down like car windows so the guards can shoot out of the towers.

Where are the guards at now?

I wouldn’t be surprised if they were jerking each other off in the rec room. [WEPS leans in through a door way.] Hey, assholes…stop jerking each other off, close the back door and open up the front door. [A bell sounds in the bottom level.] Thank you...continue the jerk fest.

They have a control room in the rec room?

And in each of the 2 towers. Triple redundant system in a way.

How do the guards know when someone is at the gate unannounced?

At the north end of the bridge you came across is a camera bundle with sensors. It tracks people coming and going. At the north and south ends is a way for us to stop the flow of traffic and isolate it to the bridge. Our safety is pretty important. I’m hungry. Let’s go.

[We walk back down to the SUV and get in. The back door is now closed and the front is opened.]
Are both doors ever opened simultaneously?

Well, we can open and close them at the same time, but you’re asking if we ever have them both fully opened at the same time…the answer is NO. [WEPS into his radio as we leave the gate.] We’re clear. Close it. [I look back to see the door start to rise.]

[We eat at a Mexican place, I’m told, right down the road from Luke AFB. It’s a 15 minute ride from the compound. WEPS and DLL point out old places of interest on the way. They both say that there isn’t much traffic on the roads any more. That Phoenix doesn’t look anything like it did before the war. It’s still in a state of rebuilding.]

The pre-war restaurant chains are just starting to make a comeback. The first ones opened just last year. These mom and pop shops started opening up 3 years ago. The economy is still shit and bouncing back, but it’ll make a comeback eventually.

[After 45 minutes of eating and making small talk, we leave the restaurant and head to the south gate of Luke AFB.]

[WEPS pulls out an ID card as we get closer to the gate.] Shit, looks like a young lady who’s brand new at this. Watch this, Max. [WEPS hands over his ID as he greets the gate guard.] How are you today, Airman?

[Airman] Not bad, Sir. It’s 1100, half way through my shift. [She looks at WEPS ID. She jumps to attention and salutes WEPS.] My apologies, Sir. I didn’t realize.

Not your fault. How old are you?

[Airman] 19, Sir.

Drop the Sir and just talk. Where did you spend your early life at?

[Airman] In a refugee camp in Northern California. I just want to thank you for doing what you did and still do, Sir. I came to Luke AFB a month ago hoping to get a chance to get into ZEADS. For as long as I can remember, ZEADS was talked about in our refugee camp. I saw some of you when I was 11 years old after the war and I knew then what I wanted to do.

Drop the Sir for the last time. I’ll tell you what, since you’re SFS you can at least handle that SIR you’re carrying. Do they still train you on M-4s?

[Airman] Yes, along with the M-240B and M-249. I was tops in my class on the range.

Impressive. If you’re serious about joining ZEADS, call me at this number… [WEPS hands her a card]…and I’ll get you into some training.

[Airman] Thank you…Thank you so much. You won’t be disappointed.

I will be if you don’t hand me my ID back.

[Airman] Sorry. [She hands WEPS back his ID.] Thank you.

Have a great day, Airman. [WEPS drives away from the gate.]

[DLL] You think she has what it takes?

You noticed her sleeves rolled up. Did you see her forearms and hands? She works out. She’s not muscular, but she’s not a dainty little girl either. And she’s a runner.

You can tell that by looking at her?

And by talking to her. Tell you what, on the way out, we can ask her.

What was with the salute? [WEPS has me his ID.]

The surviving, original members hold the rank of Full Bird Colonel.

All of you?

Well, USMC_DAD holds a 1 star rank. The rest are equivalent to a Colonel

You said equivalent.

Yep. We don’t have an official rank. Our pay is based off of those unofficial ranks. It’s kind of a courtesy I guess. Our brand newest members hold Lt. Those between my daughter Mina and us original members hold Captain. The pay is nowhere near the pre-war pays for the ranks. [WEPS ID has a picture of him with “ZEADS” under his picture. A full bird Colonel insignia is under that.]

Why did the government see fit to do this for you guys?

We are an ‘unofficial’ 6th arm of the Pentagon. [WEPS looks at me in his rear view mirror. ]I’ll explain so you don’t look so confused. We have to be a part of the military to use their equipment and to arm our vehicles. We get a lot of our vehicles and weapons from old stockpiles. We have access to things no one else has other then the military. Yet, we are not a part of them because we don’t follow a lot of the rules and regs that the military use, such as our flying rules. We don’t get any pull or can’t use our ‘unofficial’ ranks when the military is involved during a conventional warfare scenario. On the other side of the coin, if it’s a Zombie warfare scenario, our ‘unofficial’ ranks come into play. Sounds confusing, but it works. The government pays us, like I said, based off those ranks. The rest of the US sees to it that we don’t pay for some of our commercial items. Some energy drinks like the one this morning with the ‘M’ on it….free. Some of our beer and liquors…free. Not all, but some. These SUVs…free. These bottles of water we have everywhere…free. We don’t believe that humanity owes us a debt, but some of those we rescued, they see it differently.

[As he is talking, we drive to a warehouse style building. We pull up and park next to it.]
This is where my recon guys and I stayed during the war.
[WEPS pulls out a key and opens the door. He shows us around the warehouse…where they kept the vehicles, where they slept…WEPS receives a radio call from a radio I didn’t notice. As he pulls his radio from underneath his shirt, I notice his handgun.]

WEPS, Guard.

Go ahead, Guard, this better be important.

[Guard] A Jarhead balloon [Marine dirigible from MCAS Yuma] spotted a pack of about 30 Zombies heading east, just outside of Dateland to the west. I’ll relay any info to the dudes.

Fuck me…I knew seeing doc Allen early was a bad sign. [To guard] OK, I want Specter_Actual with me in a Little Bird with Mina and K-man flying as recon. Have K-man get two marking guns and throw them in the Little Bird for me. The American trainees are just about done with their training. I want to see them as the first guys on the ground. Round up the Russians and Chinese…I want them to see the shit and to act as back-up. Both groups ought to fit in two 53s. Send a 47 to just east of Dateland out of sight as a FARP on the old airfield. The Little Bird will be pushing range and loiter time and I don’t feel like crashing. I want a squad of experienced shooters with each group and two backup squads on the 47. Wheels up in 1 hour. Tell Specter_Actual that we’re up as soon as I get there…30 minutes at the very most. The 47 will also leave when the Little Bird does. [WEPS looks at me.] I also want a pistol vest set up for Max. I have plans for him. Grab an extra flight suit for him.

[Guard] Rog. Copy all.

I’ll be at the gate in roughly 20 minutes.

[Guard] See you then.

You have plans for me?

Sure do. You’ll be fine. I’ll be there by your side. [To DLL] Can you drive, Babe, while I gear up?

[DLL] Can I use the siren?

[WEPS laughs] You bet, just wait until we get off base. Max, you ride shotgun.

[The three of us get back into the SUV and head towards the gate. WEPS tells his wife to pull alongside the gate. The young airman steps out of the shack and walks towards us. WEPS rolls down his window.]

[Airman] Something I can do for you?

I have a bet with my wife and buddy here that you work out with weights and run long distance.

[Airman] I do. I work out a few days a week with weights. I also run 5-8 miles several times a week. How did you know?

Just a knack for reading people that I have. Keep it up and don’t forget to call.

[Airman] I won’t forget, Sir. [She salutes and we leave.]

Told you.

[DLL] OK, siren time.

[WEPS reaches under the driver’s seat and grabs a siren.]
Roll down your window and put this above your head on the roof. [DLL does as he says. ] OK, flip that read switch there on the dash. [The siren wails.] OK, speed it up, just be careful, please, I have a job to do.

[As DLL speeds back towards the compound, WEPS changes into his gear in the back seat. As we cross the bridge to the compound 15 minutes after leaving Luke AFB, the front gate starts opening. By the time we reach it, it’s fully opened. We cross the threshold of the front gate.]

[To Guard] We’re clear.

[The front gate starts closing at the same time the back one opens. There are four armed ZEADS members along the road, two on each side. We slow down and roll down our windows so they can look at us. ]

No contact. We’re good to go.

[ZEADS member] OK, WEPS, go ahead. Good luck. Happy hunting you lucky bastards.

Tower, WEPS

[Tower] Go ahead.

How’s the Little Bird looking?

[Tower] They’re just waiting on you.

OK. Be there in 5 minutes. One SUV.

[Tower] Got it.

[WEPS directs his wife to the flightline. We pull up several feet away from a Little Bird. The three of us get out and walk over to it. WEPS has on his vest and he grabbed his rifle from the SUV. K-man and Mina hug DLL. She then comes over and hugs and kisses WEPS.]

I’ll be safe, Babe.

[DLL] I know you will. It won’t stop me from worrying though. I’ll see you soon.
[They hug again and WEPS walks away from DLL to the other side of the Little Bird. I watch her get back in the SUV and drive away. I join WEPS after she leaves.]

It’s harder on me when I leave then it is on her. [Someone steps out of the back of the Little Bird.] What’s up, dude. You ready?

[Specter_Actual] Fuck yeah, I am. Let’s go already.

Max this is Specter_Actual, he’s on one of the recon teams. [We shake hands.] He’s one of the original members of ZEADS. [To Specter] Did you bring the flightsuit and vest for him?

[Specter reaches in and grabs the gear for me.] Here it is.

Max, you can put the flightsuit on over your clothes, that’s fine. Put the vest on, too. [The vest has a handgun and three spare mags on it. Mina joins us and gets into the pilots seat.]

OK, Max, same as before. Sit in the middle, Specter and I are going to sit on the benches.

OK [Mina and K-man start the helicopter. We do a quick comms check and same as before, we lift 100 feet and head west. I look around and an MH-47 is following us. Inside on the seat with me is another gear bag. When we cross the compound wall, I’m told we turn slightly southwest and head to Dateland at 500 feet. Twenty five minutes later, ZEADS 2-5 calls ZEADS 3-8.]

[ZEADS 2-5] 3-8, 2-5.

[Mina] Go ahead.

[ZEADS 2-5] Info you, we’re breaking off and landing at the airfield.

[Mina] Roger that, 2-5. We’ll call you if we need you.

[A minute later, ZEADS 1-1 calls] 3-8, 1-1, we’re airborne with 5-8. ETA 25 minutes.

[Mina] All copy. We will contact you shortly with further instructions.

[1-1] Roger that.

[WEPS tells me that 1-1 has the Americans and 5-8 has the Russians and Chinese. He also tells me that 1-1 has a container sling loaded. We head west from Dateland. WEPS instructs Mina to climb to 5,000 feet. WEPS says he wants to have a look first before we make contact. Out in front of us a few miles away we can see a dust cloud. WEPS instructs Mina to do a slow fly over at 200 feet. As we get closer, I can see figures in the dust. ]

The dust cloud is caused from them shuffling their feet in the sand. [When we’re nearly on top of them, they all look our way. Some reach up towards us. ] I count 33. Specter?

[Specter] Looks about right.

Think we can get 10 of them?

[Specter] I don’t see why not.

Max, reach in that bag and hand Specter and I one of them marking guns. [As I reach in to grab them and hand them out, WEPS explains the use.] We want to capture 10 of those fuckers. 1-1 has a container that we will load the 10 into and transport back with us. Specter and I will use these paint ball guns filled with orange paint balls to mark the ones we want. We’ll tag them on their chest a couple of times so the shooters know which ones we want.

What do you do with the rest?

Re-kill them.

OH.[WEPS and Specter sling the marking guns over their shoulders. They put a magazine into their main rifle.]

Mina, K-man, drop the three of us off to the south 100 meters from the pack. Once we’re clear, fly over them northbound at 20 feet to get their attention away from us. Back off about 100 feet after you do so you don’t mess with the paint balls flight. Meet us back at the same spot when you see us run that way.

[Mina] Roger, dad, be careful. [K-man and Mina both look at towards WEPS on the bench.]

Don’t worry, you know I’ve done this before.

[K-man] We know, dad, just be careful.

[Specter] What about me?

I love you, Specter. No homo. Be careful.

[Specter] Now I feel loved.

Max, there are three helmets in the bag...pass those out to us.

You want me to get out with you?

Yep, you’re our backup. You said you shot a Zombie last year with a pistol so you know how to handle one.

That was one shot against one Zombie.

Max, you have 61 rounds of 9mm. That’s more than enough. Let’s go. [I hand out the plastic helmets. There’s a camera attached to each one. The three of us take of our flight helmets and put on the plastic ones. WEPS shouts to Mina that we’re ready with a thumbs up.]

[Mina] 20 seconds.

[Shortly after, we land 100 meters south of over 30 Zombies. Specter and WEPS get off the benches. WEPS pulls me along with him. We run a short distance from the Little Bird. WEPS and Specter give Mina and K-man a thumbs up. Mina blows her dad a kiss. WEPS waves. The Zombies are already shuffling towards us. The Little Bird flies low over the pack getting their attention. WEPS, Specter and I run towards the pack.]

Max, unholster your pistol and back us up. Be careful…there’s one already chambered. Keep your fucking finger off the trigger until you’re ready to fire. [They both sling their rifles and pull out their marking guns. I stick to WEPS side.] Only the newer ones if any, Specter. Pick random ones if there aren’t.

[Specter] You got it.

[The Little Bird backs off. I follow WEPS counter-clockwise around the pack. Specter goes clockwise. They stop every few seconds to shoot one in the chest.]

[Specter] WEPS, I got five. I’m done.

OK, head back, I’ll be there in a sec. [WEPS marks a 6th one in the face for a total of 11.] OK, Max, let’s go. [As WEPS goes to unsling his rifle and sling the marking gun, he trips about 10 feet from the nearest Zombie. The butt of his rifle knocks him hard in the helmet momentarily stunning him. I hesitate before I go back to help him up. As he slowly gets up onto his hands and knees, the nearest Zombie, a big male, reaches out to him. Without thinking, I hit the Zombie in the head with my pistol knocking him down. The next nearest is another 20 feet back. I help WEPS up and we slow jog to meet with Specter who is rushing up to join us.]

[Specter] Is he alright? [He takes WEPS from me.]

He didn’t get knocked out, just stunned.

[Specter] WEPS, we’ll get to 400 meters before the chopper picks us up.

OK.

[Specter] Take a drink from your hydration pack. [WEPS does. Specter lets go of WEPS and aims his rifle back towards the pack. He shoots several bursts into the legs of the Zombies knocking down a few of them. He changes magazines.] That should slow them down a bit.

[The Little Bird lands to pick us up. I get in and change helmets. Specter swaps WEPS plastic helmet for his flight helmet. He grabs a bungee lanyard with a D-ring from WEPS vest and attaches it to a loop on the frame of the Little Bird. Specter also puts WEPS hand through a handle on the door. Specter slaps WEPS in the face lightly.]

[Specter] Hey asshole, hold on to this handle. There you. Don’t fucking let go. [He then gets on the bench on the other side and changes helmets.]He’s fine, he’s fine, just a little stunned. Take us to the FARP so we can look him over.

[Mina] Are you sure he’s fine? [Mina and K-man look towards WEPS.]

[Specter] Yes, I’m sure.

[Mina flies us to the FARP where we land near the 47. Specter comes around and walks WEPS a short distance from the Little Bird. Mina and K-man join us after they complete the shutdown of the Little Bird. The squads there check the Little Bird over and refuel it.]

What the fuck happened? I don’t remember shit after marking the Zombies. Between that and walking to this spot is a complete blank.

[Specter] Too many dead brain cells, WEPS.

Hardy Har, asshole. What the fuck happened?

[Specter] Well, you tripped.

Did I trip, or did you fucking push me?

[Specter] I would have pushed you into the Zombies, not away from them. Besides, I was 100 meters away at the time.

Honestly, you tripped. I was running with you after you marked a 6th Zombie. You were slinging your marking gun and trying to unsling your rifle when you tripped. When you landed, the butt of your rifle smacked you in the helmet pretty hard. [Specter hands WEPS his plastic helmet. It has a slight crack on the right side.]

Holy shit. I didn’t know you could split these helmets. How did I get out of there?

[K-man] We saw it from the air. Max hit the nearest Zombie in the head with his pistol.

You didn’t shoot it?

You were on your hands and knees when the closest one was almost on top of you. I didn’t want to accidentally shoot you, so I nailed him in the head with the pistol. I didn’t even think about it, it just happened.

No shit? Thanks Max.

[Mina hugs WEPS] I’m glad nothing happened.

That makes two of us. [WEPS drinks more from his hydration pack.] Any word on ZEADS 1-1?

[Mina] They said they were 10 minutes out when we landed. They should be here any minute. I told them our situation and to expect a delay.

Damn, that means everyone else heard. Ah, hell, that’s fine. Let’s get back up and fly overwatch for them. I want to direct from the air.

[Specter] You sure you don’t want to sit this one out?

I’m fine. Just help me up. [Specter and K-man help him up. He staggers slightly when he stands up all the way and they let him go.] Ah, fuck. [He takes a couple of unsteady steps.] OK. Let’s go.

[One of the ZEADS members from another squad shouts to WEPS.] Hey, WEPS, have a nice trip?

I didn’t trip, asshole. I I saw your mom and I jumped on her.

[ZEADS] Nice, WEPS, real nice.

You started it. [WEPS grins]

[The five of is get into the Little Bird in the same spots. After a comms check, we lift off and head towards the pack of Zombies. WEPS informs Mina to orbit at 800 feet over the pack. He starts looking around.]

1-1, WEPS. What’s your location?

[ZEADS 1-1] About 5 miles out at your 4 o’clock.

[Specter] I got them.

OK, 1-1. Inform your shooters there are eleven, I say again, eleven Zombies marked. Of those eleven, I want 10 captured, leave number eleven for me. Number eleven is the one with the face paint. Kill the rest. Drop your container near them and drop your load….

[Specter laughs] You said ‘drop your load.’

….as I was saying, drop your load of shooters 100 meters away, any direction. Break, Break. 5-8, drop your shooters, [WEPS glances at Specter who snickers], 300 meters in back of 1-1’s shooters. Inform them to stay put and observe. The ZEADS squads in your helo will back up 1-1’s shooters if they get into the shit. Both choppers, no fast roping, we don’t need any more injuries. Off load from ramps only. Orbit over I-8 at 1,000 feet once you drop your shooters. How copy?

1-1, Roger that, no fast roping, orbit at 1,000 feet.
5-8, Roger, observation only.

Mina, back off so they can drop their loads off. [Specter and WEPS laugh] Once they’re done, orbit again at 800 feet.

[The 53 with the container, 1-1, flies to within about 100 feet of the Zombie pack. The pilot touches the ground with the container. The cables holding the container fall from the 53. 1-1 then flies north to 100 meters where it lands with the ramp facing the Zombies. The 19 trainees, minus the injured one, with several ZEADS members, leave the 53 from the ramp turning to avoid the tail rotor. They form a half-circle facing the Zombies. I see some poles with loops of cable at one end that they throw down. 1-1 takes off and heads north. At the same time, 5-8 lands 300 meters north and drops off his shooters. They also form a half-circle facing the Zombies. 5-8 also takes off north. ]

OK, Mina, close in so we can watch.

[The ZEADS members from 1-1 shout orders to the trainees. The nearly 30 of them total get to within 75 feet of the Zombies. The ZEADS members hang in back of the trainees. The trainees quickly take down the Zombies that are not marked. The only ones I see standing after almost a minute are the ones marked with orange paint on their chest. The trainees run back for the poles with the loops on them. The ZEADS members rush to the container to open it up, and then join the trainees at the poles.]

Mina, drop us off 50 meters from the container and join 1-1 and 5-8.

[Mina] Roger, dad. [We get dropped off near the container. The three of us swap our flight helmets for the plastic ones again. After we get dropped off, Mina and K-man take off again and head north. We run to the group waiting for us. WEPS four other sons are in the group of ZEADS shooters.]

Hey, guys. What a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon, isn’t it?

[Dust] Too bad it wasn’t a larger group. I would have liked to take a couple down.

Maybe next time. What you can do is take one of them poles there and save one for me. He has orange paint on his face. Cal-El, help him out. Shorty, back them up. [WEPS shouts.] Trainees, gather round. [All the trainees hurry to us.] Here’s what I want. I need you to pair off as best as you can and loop one of them Zombies. Specter, pair up with the lone trainee. You guys [WEPS points to the other ZEADS members] strap them in Zombies once the trainees lead them in. And be…fucking…careful. GO!

[Everyone hurries to do as they’re told. It takes some time, but all 10 of the 11 Zombies are put into the container and strapped in. No one was hurt, but there were several close calls. Inside, the Zombies are strapped to the sides. There is room for several more Zombies in here. It doesn’t look half full. A hood is draped over each Zombies head. A thick piece of leather strap is place in their mouths over the hood and tied off in the back. Their hands are bound with thick zip-ties. Once the process is done, the doors are closed to the container.]

Max, come with me. [I follow WEPS to within 20 feet of the last Zombie that his boys have. This Zombie looks familiar. It was the one I knocked down. I didn’t notice the orange marker paint on his face before. I tell WEPS this.] Well, you get your chance to finish him off then.

What do you mean?

Unholster your pistol. Everyone else get in back of us. [WEPS unslings his rifle] Shorty, Cal-El, join the others. Dust, when I say, release the Zombie and back off. Let me get his attention first.

What’s going on here?

Are you ready, Max?

[I’m a little scared at this point, but I know now what he’s planning.] Yes, I’m ready.

You will only have a few seconds. Don’t let him bite you or I’ll shoot you after I shoot him.

I understand.

Let him go, Dust. [Dust does and he backs off. WEPS tries to get the Zombies attention.] Hey, fucker, over here. [The Zombie looks at Dust. WEPS raises his rifle at him.] Hey, FUCKER, I said over here. [WEPS fires a single round into his back.] Hey, I fucked your mom last night. [The Zombies turns towards us.] There you go. Come on….come and get Max…he’s got something for you. [I look to WEPS who takes a few steps backwards and then steps in back of me off to my right, still aiming his rifle at the Zombie.] Don’t look at me, look at him. He’s going to eat you in about 5 seconds if you don’t do something about it real fucking fast. No safety on your pistol. Shoot him.

[I look at the Zombie and take a step back. I can see the spot I smacked him in the head at. I aim at his head and fire. I miss and hit his neck.]

[WEPS takes a few more steps back.] Fifteen more shots, Max. Don’t use them all up. Relax and squeeze the trigger, don’t jerk it. [I take two steps back and aim again. I hit his head, but it was only a glancing shot off his skull.]

Aim for his forehead.

I am. [I hear a few laughs. I aim for the third time and shoot again. This time I hit where I aim. The Zombie falls to the ground. ]

Double tap, Max. Hit him again.

[I take three steps towards the Zombie on the ground and put two more rounds into his head.]

Out-fucking-standing, Max. Now, finger off the trigger and reholster. [I do as instructed. I hear several cheers and some clapping. WEPS walks up and put two more into his head.] Just in case. [WEPS shouts.] Gather them up, single pile…torch them.

[As the trainees walk past me to gather up the ones they killed, they pat my shoulders and shake my hand.] What’s this about?

Well, you’ve survived the fun house, Mina’s flying, shot a Zombie with no restraints and saved my ass from becoming Zombie chow. Keep going like this and we may just make you a member of ZEADS. Well, an honorary member anyway. [He pulls a radio from his vest.] 1-1, pick up your shooters and the container. Break, break. 5-8, pick up your shooters and head home. Break, break. 3-8, as soon as 1-1 leaves with the container, come and get us.

[Choppers] 1-1, copy, on the way….5-8, on the way….3-8, roger, dad.

[The bodies are piled up in less than a minute. Someone pours some igniter fluid on the bodies and lights them. In the distance, 5-8 lands and the trainees file in. Nearby, 1-1 lands and these trainees along with the ZEADS shooters climb in.]

Wait here. [WEPS and Specter climb some foot holds on the container to the top of it. 1-1 takes off and hovers over the container just above the heads of WEPS and Specter. They take two hooks attached to the containers cables and hand them up through a hatch in the bottom of the 53. WEPS and Specter climb down. They walk to the left side so the pilot can see them and give him a thumbs up. The container slowly lifts. When it gets several feet in the air, WEPS points eastward. The 53 turns to fly back to the compound. He uses his radio again] 2-5, we’re clear. RTB when you’re ready.

2-5, roger, WEPS.

[Mina and K-man land near us a few minutes later. On the way back to the compound I ask about the lanyard/D-ring that Specter pulled from WEPS vest. They explain that sometimes they get into areas where helicopters can’t land, so they rig something up called a SPIE. Special Purpose Insertion/Extraction. Several guys can hang from rope suspended underneath a helicopter. Some of the ZEADS members had the idea to weld rings in strategic areas around the choppers in case the ‘shit hits the fan’ and they have to get out of the area quickly. They also explain where the container will be dropped off at and what the procedure is for new Zombies coming in. They’ll further use them for training and testing once the safety precautions have been put into place, i.e. the removal of teeth and the binding of hands. After we land I asked WEPS if he is going to oversee the transfer of the Zombies from the container to the scientists.]

No. Between my boys and the scientists, they have everything under control. We need to clean our guns, get cleaned up ourselves and get to Solo’s house tonight. [WEPS lets out a deep breath.] These mother fuckers won’t let me live down tripping and being rescued by you, but shit happens. I expect getting a lot of shit from them tonight. I just wanted to say thanks again. My wife will be grateful to you. [WEPS extends his hand and gives mine a firm handshake. WEPS turns to Specter.] Thanks for helping out, too.

[Specter] Shit, how many times have we all rescued each other? Just put it on my tab, don’t make a big deal out of it.

You know my wife will fawn over you the next few days.

[Specter] Yeah, I know.

What’s that about?

Since we all came back to Phoenix all those years ago and started to get into the shit with our families around, our spouses will give our rescuers the royal treatment, whether it was one rescuer or 20. My wife will cook for Specter for the next week or so. Just a spouse’s way of saying thank you. [A Humvee comes to pick us up. The three of us get in after WEPS says bye to Mina and K-man who have to do an after flight inspection on the Little Bird. In the Humvee, WEPS and Specter save their rifles. We drop Specter off first. ]

[Specter] See you in a bit.

Later, dude. [We then get dropped off at WEPS house. Rifle in hand, WEPS walks in first.] We’re back, babe. [DLL walks out of her room into WEPS arms. He hugs her with one arm and kisses her. ] There’s something I have to tell you. [DLL asks if it was one of her kids.] No, no, nothing bad, but you should hear this. [We sit down and WEPS tells her what he knows about his accident. I explain my part. DLL gets up, walks over to me and kisses my forehead.]

[DLL] Thank you, Max.

I was just in the right place at the right time.

[DLL] But you did something out of your norm and you saved the love of my life. You’re welcomed back here any time.

I don’t know what to say.

How about ‘Thank you.’ [WEPS nods]

Of course…thank you, DLL.

Honey, we have to clean our weapons. We’re going to get cleaned up after that and get to Solo’s house.

[DLL] OK, I’ll get your clothes ready.

[We get up and set up cleaning items in WEPS home office. Theirs is an alert on his computer. I ask him about the internet being up.]
No, the internet is still not back yet. But, we have another server that was set up for us several years back. It only works on the compound. Think of it as a localized internet, I guess. Let’s see. [WEPS types some commands.] The jarhead balloon tracked the path of that pack of Zombies. They tracked them to Ajo, but say their path runs into Mexico. Judging by how slow they were walking, they were wandering around for about 2 weeks out there. They must have been tracking some wildlife and just headed North West. [He logs in the findings into a separate folder.] OK, let’s clean these things up.

[WEPS removes his vest and tells me to remove mine. He shows me how to break down the rifle he is using and the handgun I used after clearing them both. He shows me how to clean both weapons, reassemble them and do a functional check on them. He puts them both behind his desk with both vests.]

I’ll take care of these later. [After that, we go to our respective rooms to shower and get dressed. DLL has again set out some clothes for me. Just a pair of pants and a buttoned up shirt. I meet WEPS and DLL back downstairs at 5:30 pm. WEPS is also wearing a buttoned up shirt. WEPS and I gather his beer from the big refrigerator in the garage and throw it into a cooler with ice. ]We have to carry this over.

You got it. Should I leave my voice recorder?

No. You’re going to want to record some of the events for tonight. This will be fun.

[WEPS, DLL and I walk over to Solo’s house. On the way there, WEPS looks up at the top of the light and telephone poles nearest us and sticks his middle finger up at them. At Solo’s door, DLL knocks. Solo opens it.]

[Solo] Hey, beautiful.

Hey, back.

[Solo] I was talking to your wife.

Sure you were. Its ok you’re sweet on me, but I’m married.

[Solo] Happily?

[DLL] If you guys want, Max and I can leave you two alone.

Maybe later, Babe. Just let us in, asshole and stop hitting on me and my wife.

[Solo] You guys are the first ones here.

Great. We’ll drop off my beer and come back in an hour.

[DLL] I’ll stay here so I can talk to HLS. [Solos’ wife]

Maybe I’ll stay then. Someone has to make sure this big predator doesn’t get any ideas with you two lovely ladies.

[A few minutes later inside, I ask WEPS about the joking and ask if Solo would really do anything if we left DLL here alone.]

No. None of us would. Joking about someone’s mom, wife or sister is ok. But actually physically touching one is totally off limits. Mom and wife jokes have been around since before any of us were born.

[Over the next 45 minutes, the rest of the original ZEADS members that are at the compound show up.]

[Solo] You know, I thought you military types had to show up 15 minutes early or you’re late.

[Someone shouts] Shut the fuck up, asshole. No one here is in the military. [Everyone laughs.]

[The night starts out like the previous night, with a tribute to the fallen ZEADS members. After the moment of silence, Solo makes an announcement. ]

[Solo] Hey, I have an announcement to make. Max, step forward, please.

[WEPS lets out a moan] Fucking shit, here we go. Stand tall and proud, Max, this is your moment at my expense.

[I get up and stand next to Solo. He puts his arm around me.] Max here is a hero. For those few that haven’t heard yet, Max rescued WEPS over there from a pretty close call today. Apparently WEPS tripped…

Hey, I didn’t trip, I um….thought I saw Dennis’ mom and jumped on her. [Dennis is the guy from the 47, ZEADS 2-5 at the FARP]

[Solo] Sure, sure, WEPS. Anyway, WEPS was marking Zombies with Specter_Actual. After marking, WEPS let Specter take off. WEPS tripped while transitioning from the marking gun to his rifle and tripped. The butt smacked his helmet pretty hard and it stunned him for a second. A Zombie was a few feet away from WEPS and getting closer. Max knocked it down with his gun and picked up WEPS. He ran with WEPS in tow to meet up with Specter who took over from there. Way to go, Max.

[WEPS and Specter-Actual get up and comes over to join Solo and I.] Max, we can’t make you a full member of ZEADS, but we can make you an honorary member. I’d like to present you with this ZEADS patch for doing just a few of the things we do as well as…[mumbles]

[Someone in the crowd] Speak up, asshole, we can’t hear you.

…for saving my ass instead of letting me be Zombie food. Here you go. Thanks Max. Sew this on your favorite jacket. You’re welcomed back to the compound at any time. We have several empty places, we can make one a vacation house for you.

[I accept the patch. Specter shakes my hand. Solo kisses me on the cheek. WEPS tells me later it’s a simple rocker tab patch that says ZEADS on it.]

[Someone else in the crown shouts.] Hey WEPS, I guess you’ll be practicing transitions while on the move. [Everyone laughs again.]

[WEPS slaps his knee and laughs mockingly.] Funny…you’re a bunch of funny assholes. [WEPS whispers to me.] Not a bad idea though.

[After dinner, the wife’s go inside. WEPS gets up to tell everyone his theory on Doc Allen and his mini-microphones. The guys seem genuinely shocked to hear this. WEPS and Solo tells the crowd their responses when Doc Allen asked them about their episodes. For the next 30 minutes, some of the guys tell us their responses. Some were; stubbing ones toe, being afraid of the dark, someone said he thought he saw the boogie man, another guy said on Christmas, he ran into Santa and they had a fight…all of these responses brought a chorus of laughter. WEPS tells the guys what he wants to do. A few minutes later, everyone is lined up and down both sides of the street from one end to the other in front of a light or telephone pole. WEPS raises one arm and lowers it. For two whole minutes, everyone screams at the top of their lungs. WEPS raises his hand again and everyone stops screaming. They all run back to Solo’s backyard laughing. WEPS and I sit back down.]

Oh, shit, that was fun. It’ll be interesting to hear what he has to say about this. Hey, remember what I said about Solo having the longest to travel to get here?

Yes.
You should talk to him about it.

Think he won’t mind?

He’s fine. I told him to expect it. Go on. I’ll be around here.

OK. [I get up to join Solo.]

{Real world Note. Solo sent me this story through an email. He said I could change it as need be. I changed the beginning and the end a bit, but I kept the meat of it. Hope it comes out ok. }

[I was unsure if Solo wanted to talk, but as I approached, he gets up to from his chair to greet me.]

[Solo] What’s up, Hot Rod?

I was just wondering if I could ask you a few things about your life before you came here. WEPS says you were one of the few civilians that became a ZEADS squad leader and you had the furthest to travel to get here. [He looked down and shook his head slowly then looked up with a disturbing grin. His reply was simple and left much to be answered.]

[Solo] I’m good at breaking shit.

What did you do before the Z war?

[Solo] I ran a small draft beer company that did installs and repairs, that kinda shit. Best damn job ever.

[He reaches for a beer and offers me one. I decline. He cocks one eye brow and looks at me inquisitively] WEPS whispered something about a run in the morning.

[Solo] HAHA, I hate that running shit. WEPS loves it for some reason. Well, at least he loves using it to torment the new bloods.

You dislike running?

[Solo] You’re damn right I do. That shit never did me any good. “Stand your ground or die trying.”

[I nod with a chuckle] I suppose that’s one way of looking at it.

[Solo] The only Goddamn way. [He quickly injects]

[There is an awkward silence for a moment but I manage to continue.] So what’s your story then? [He sits down and motions for me to do the same]

[Solo] Back before the war really started here, when it was still just known as “rioting”, my ex and I had just had a baby boy. I was never a big fan of the news, so recent events were never really that recent for me. One day I came home from work and logged into ARFCOM. [Ar15.com] I found the Zombie forum, Zombie Central, was blowing up with guys posting things. It was nothing out of the norm to see a post or two where someone would drop a “realistic” post. But that day, there were dozens of posts, a few from guys I know had no literary skills what so ever, which was the real tip off. Madbomber_Mike had even posted that the Redstone arsenal in AL had been put on full alert and were being deployed to surrounding areas. So I tried getting a hold of Madbomber_Mike, with no luck. I was able to get WEPS on the horn to confirm the shit was really happening. He was acting pretty nervous. We all joked about the Zombie uprising, but we never expected it to really happen. This was at the start of their testing in the desert. I was being optimistic and stayed put. After several weeks of regular updates from the ZEADS guys on our secure server, things became more and more tense in my area. WEPS contacted me and told me that they were going to Mountain Town to be with their families, that they had completed their testing and had trained the Alpha Teams. All of ZEADS spent the Great Panic at Mountain Town. I was pretty far from them so I decided to stay here as long as I could. No one expected the Great Panic. I should have left when I had the chance. Live and learn I guess. WEPS contacted me after we all watched that fuck up in Yonkers. WEPS told me they were going back to Phoenix to re-take town. Ohio was becoming completely fucked by then, so after a short conversation with WEPS, I had made my decision to make for Phoenix with my family. [He pauses long enough to chug his beer and reaches for the one he had offered me]So I packed up the essentials and headed for the bank. First time in my life I ever intentionally broke the law. I didn’t go there with the intention to rob the place, but when I went to drain my account the lady told me she was under orders from the companies C.E.O. to not allow cash withdrawls. Trying to keep calm I returned to the truck and saw my M-4 sitting there, like it was calling to me. I grabbed it and walked back inside. Another guy was talking to the teller and getting the same reply from her. Once he saw my rifle he started yelling, “Fuck yea man! That’s right bitch put all the money in a bag and hand it over”. This guy really thought I was his buddy and we were gonna rob this place like a team. The guy was pretty pissed when I trained my sights on him and told the teller to give him the exact amount of cash he had in his account. Looking back I probably shouldn’t have taken his sidearm, but douche bags like that don’t need to be armed. She gave me the $1302.44 I had in my account and I told her she should probably lock up and head home. A small Asian woman blurted out from the other teller window, “No shit man”. Kinda made me laugh.

And you left from there?

[Solo] The roads were pretty clear heading south. Everyone was heading north. We made it down to Redstone Arsenal in Alabama before we had any real issues. Apparently the guys from the base were under orders to disable any vehicles on the roads around them. All the fires and shit made it damn near impossible to see the little signs on the poles that forbid non-authorized personnel into the area. Can’t be mad at the guys though. They didn’t shoot us, just the damn tires. I threw it in reverse and drove on the rims about 100 meters backwards before they took a couple more shots into the engine block. At that point I figured they were kinda pissed that I ran up on their club house without asking. I stopped the truck and put my hands out the window and told my girlfriend to do the same. After about 20 seconds of sitting there like dumb asses with our hands out of the windows, a couple of MP’s came walking up, rifles trained on us. “This is a restricted ar...” I cut him off. “Yea I gathered that shit from the love taps ya’ll sent our way. Now are we under arrest or what?” Then the fucker says, “We have orders to shoot violators on sight.” It was right then my son started crying. You could tell the two men had children because their demeanor changed dramatically. The second MP yelled at me. “Come on man, there’s a big ass Dodge dually over here. It belongs to a guy on base, but he’s…he ain’t gonna need it anymore. The keys are usually under the driver seat. Take it and get the fuck out of here”
The first MP gave me a safe…well “safer” route to follow to Arizona. The trip was amazingly uneventful. Most of the people either headed for the water or were heading north to family. My phone rang shortly after we hit Louisiana. My buddy Pope_James had been in Texas with family when they were attacked. He had lost them all except for his young son. They were holed up in an apartment building near where my ex had family. He knew I was an ‘end of day’s’ nut and that since the emergency lines were all out of service, I was his last resort. He sounded more amazed than anything that my fat ass was still alive. He gave me the address and we made our way towards him.
The trip through Louisiana was a lot more difficult than the rest of the trip had been. Seemed like the fuckers were faster down there, maybe a bit stronger, too. It might have been my imagination from lack of any good sleep the last few days. But we made it to Texas with no issues. Well, almost none, other than I was getting low on ammo. We lucked out when we made it into Texas. Pope_James and his son were down around Galveston and not in Houston, which is where the Zombies were heading. Once we pulled up to their location, I found only a few zeds outside their perimeter. Standing in the bed of the dually, I was able to pick the majority of them off before they made it to the truck. Goddamn, I love big trucks. You know, pre-war, I had a big ass decal on the back of my truck that said “Fuck Your MPG” just to piss off the environmentalists. Guess it doesn’t really mean much now. The dozen that made it to me were unable to reach me due the height of the vehicle, which made dispatching them easy. I blew the horn a couple times, hoping they were still here since the cell phones were all more a less useless at this point. I heard a large bay door open from the side of the building and after a few moments had eyes on Pope_James. It was getting dark out so we headed into the parking structure attached and headed in for the night. The place was built like a brick shit house, like most the places were on the coast. After Katrina, everyone started taking hurricanes seriously.

Katrina?

[Solo] Yea, big ass hurricane that destroyed the coast and pretty much turned New Orleans into a huge swimming pool. Whoever decided that building a major city BELOW sea level and on the coast was a good idea, needs to be shot. Anyway, we holed up there for the night and I let Pope_James in on the plan to beat feet to Arizona to join ZEADS. He agreed that it was probably the best idea and jumped on board. We woke up around 0500 to what felt like an earthquake. The five story building next door had collapsed at the base and fell into our building.

What caused the collapse?

[Solo] Fuck if I know. Some meth lab probably blew up. We were pretty close to Victoria, Texas, not the nicest of places. But that building had just busted a huge hole down the side of ours and we had to move quickly. We bolted out the same bay door we came in the night before. There were a couple dozen of them but Pope_James and I made pretty quick work of them. Took more ammo than I would of liked but hell, what do you expect from someone when they get woke up from a building falling into theirs and then assholes that want to eat you start coming in. And all this happens in less than a minute mind you. We were lucky to get our shoes on. The best damn thing that happened was his kid, who was 9 at the time had, found a HAM radio in some guys shit in the lobby. The kid loved walkie-talkies from the time he could talk so it was no surprise he would find something like that. We stopped a couple of times after that for fuel. Most stops were at pawn shops, gun stores and sporting goods places looking for ammo and additional weapons. We stopped on the eastern edge of San Antonio.

So you didn’t run into any zombies between Houston and there?

[Solo] Oh no, we dealt with quite a few packs, but nothing too large. That evening we decided to stop after having not seen any for a few miles. We bunked up in a 2 story condo across from a Wal-Mart. The place was nice, rich bitch kind of community. Pope_James and I started heading to Wal-Mart to gather some provisions when we saw headlights in the distance. Now we had not seen any survivors up until now and we were going to assume the worst.

What do you mean assume the worst? Like they were infected and hadn’t turned yet?

[Solo] Nah, that was the least of our worries. We were going to assume they were raiders. We took cover behind some disabled vehicles on either side of the street. I had a couple smoke rounds for the 37mm flare launcher on my M-4 so I dumped them into the road about 30’ in front of us. That forced them to stop and I moved in to flank them. As the smoke cleared I approached from the rear and saw there were two people in the car. I told Pope_James what I saw and to hold fire. The smoke clears and I yell out for them to shut the car off and put their hands up.

Why didn’t they try to run? Didn’t they think you were raiders?

[Solo] One would think that, but early on in the trip I found a spare police uniform in the trunk of a cruiser and had been wearing it since Victoria. Figured people would be more compliant if they thought I was LEO. Which is probably what happened in that case, cuz the woman in the passenger seat had a big ass .454 Casull in her lap with the hammer back. As I approached them the man driving turned his engine off and greeted me warmly. The woman asked if this was rescue site and was pretty upset when I informed her it wasn’t. That woman saved my ass though. While I was talking to the man and showing him where they were on his map, a zed was shambling through the remains of the smoke. He was probably moving slower because he couldn’t see, but when I saw that .454 Casull raise up and point at me, all I could think was, “Fuck me…I should probably just piss my pants now.” Before I could even get my rifle up she had already aimed and fired. Had I not heard the body drop behind me…well I probably would have killed them both. We invited them to come with us, which they happily agreed to do. The woman headed to the condo with the car to help my ex out with the kids. The man...

I’m sorry, but you keep saying the man and the woman; did you not get their names?

[Solo] I am not like the rest of the guys here. I don’t honor the memories of the fallen. If you die, your name dies with you. I respect their toasts to the fallen and their moments of silence, but that’s it.

So those people died?

[Solo] I’ll get to that. As we are heading into the Wal-mart, I realized this place had not been ransacked, which meant the people in the area were taken quickly and by surprise. So I half expected this place to be crawling with Zombies, but it was pretty quiet, which is a bad thing.

Why is it a bad thing, wouldn’t it be good that the place was empty?

[Solo] It would be a great thing if the place was empty…but you get complacent when shit is quiet. [He tosses his empty beer can into the trash can nearby and plunges his hand into the ice in the cooler for another beer] On the way out of the store the guy we had just ran into saw a box of cigars and ran over to grab them. He said his wife was pregnant and he needed them to hand out to us. When he reached over the counter a cashier who had been pretty much devoured from the waist down grabbed his leg and took a chunk. The guy came out running and screaming. When we saw the legless fuck dragging itself towards us, Pope and I kinda laughed at how scared the guy was, not realizing he had been bitten. It wasn’t until about half way back Pope noticed the man limping. He ran over to the guy and saw the bleeding. The man was frantically telling Pope he didn’t need any help that he was fine and he cut his leg on a rack when he was running out of the store. I told Pope to step back and I put a round through the guy’s head.

You killed him?

[Solo] No, He was already dead, I did him a favor. We grabbed his shit and headed for the condo. Anyway, we make it back to the house and my ex greets us with “that woman killed herself in the bathroom” Now this sounded pretty damn odd to me since my ex was not freaking out, for one, and secondly the woman had seemed pretty damn happy to just find more living people. We finished boarding up the condo and settled in for the night after we dumped he dead woman’s body outside. We all slept way to long, it was almost 1400 when we woke up. Well, when my son woke us up, he was pissed off and hungry. We decided to bunker down for another night since we wouldn’t get much travel in with the sun setting in just a few hours. Around 1700 Pope and I were on the roof top of the Wal-Mart trying to raise anyone in the area on the HAM radio. We heard a helicopter in the distance. Shortly after, we could see a small chopper approaching. I quickly loaded a flare into the 37mm launcher and put a round up in the air. The pilot of the small helicopter brought the bird broad side up to us where the gunner had an M-60 trained on us. I told Pope to toss his rifle and pistol out in front of him. He was hesitant, but complied. We knelt down and waited for them to land. The pilot was yelling something to the gunner and the gunner yelled something back. The chopper landed on the roof and the gunner came to talk to us. “You guys are in luck. We are headed to Phoenix, Arizona. It’s safe there. We can take about 400 lbs. You guys weigh about 400 lbs combined, right? Man my heart dropped when he said they could only take 400lbs. I asked the gunner if we could send the women and children first and then come back for us. “Negative, there won’t be any return trips to the area for at least 2 weeks, but we can take the women and children. How many you got?” I told the gunner we had 1 woman at 150lbs one kid at 130lbs and a baby at 20lbs. So we got my ex and the kids and on the way back, wouldn’t you know it, Pope breaks his goddamn arm after he falls off the ladder leading to the roof. So I made the call to send him with the kids and my ex and I would rally with them at Goodyear Airport. Her ass was unhappy about that. [Solo lets out a loud laugh. One of the members at the party yells “shut the fuck up Santa” and a dozen or so men laugh briefly and return to their conversations.] She got really depressed after that and I couldn’t get her to do anything for two days, until the morning of the third day. Man you could see the smoke from the fires in San Antonio rolling up towards us. It was about 0500 and the zeds from the big city down there were starting to make their way to us. I told her what I was seeing from the roof and she was calm, I mean like creepy fucking calm, man. She walks to the bedroom and calls for me. I go in there and she’s lying on the bed. She asks me to come lay with her for a few minutes. Something was different though…the windows, the bitch had pulled all the boards off the windows on the first floor, which is where the bedroom was. I’m not gonna lie, I’m freaking out a bit at that point and I’m like “you gotta help me get this shit boarded back up.” She promises to help if I just lay down with her for a minute. She says she found something the other day and saved it for today.

Like a bottle of wine?

[Solo] Don’t I fucking wish man. She had found a condo full of frat boys who were probably there to party on the lake that was close by. She let them out that day she tore down the boards. But I didn’t know that and like a moron didn’t listen to my gut. She reached for my rifle. I let her have it and she leaned it against the wall on the other side of the bed. As soon as I laid down with her you could hear the moaning fucks outside. “Just let go, it’s easier this way” she says to me. About that time the window shatters and a handful come falling in over each other. I grabbed my rifle, aimed and click… she had dropped the mag out when I handed it to her. I had never in my life felt that kind of betrayal the hopelessness of being surrounded and unarmed.

How did you survive?

[Solo] I don’t know. I blacked out and the next part I remember was opening the front door of the condo and staring at the biggest fucking zed I have ever seen right in the face. But the big fucker didn’t dive on me. We just kinda stood there like we were both waiting for the other to do something. I could hear my ex crying out for me to come back, but I just stepped to the side and the zed walked right past me. He paused when he was in the doorway next to me, like he was rethinking his decision. But he carried on. The next sound I heard was her screaming. I stood there until the screams stopped.

I’m sorry.

[Solo] Why, because the bitch got hers? I aint sorry and to be honest, the memory of her screams help me sleep at night. The docs say it’s PZWD…I say its happiness. The “specialists” say the reason that big ass didn’t dive on me was because I was covered in zed funk from the 22 Zombie frat boys I had killed inside the condo and the big fuck thought I was one of them. I say bull shit. I think he knew fucking with me at that point was a 2nd death sentence he didn’t want and that whiney bitch inside was a free meal.

So how did you meet back up with WEPS?

[Solo] After all that shit at the condo I found it was much easier to go alone. Evasion was easier…getting supplies and fuel was easier. So the trip to Phoenix was pretty damn easy. Killing groups of them was as simple as putting a zip tie around the trigger of an air horn and throwing it near a group. They couldn’t hear shit and as long as I stayed out of sight, it was a free ride. Once I made it to Goodyear, I found Pope and my son. Pope showed me around the place and got me familiarized with the people he had met. He took on some medical duties there and I hooked up with one of the rescue teams. We were sent out one day on a recovery run. It was to a farm house in the area that was supposed to have 3 LEOs in it. When we got there the damn house was filled with zeds, not a damn living person in it. Of course I was first in and never had a chance to make it out the door.

Wait, how did you never make it out if you’re here now?

[Solo] I said I never made it out the door. The gear I had on was some stout shit…mostly riot gear and a street bike helmet. Couldn’t see shit with the damn helmet on, which is why I didn’t see or hear the zed that almost got my ass. But instead he ripped my rifle out of my hands. So now I was unarmed and had zeds filling the room. I noticed the load bearing beams that were in the living room and went all hulk on them. Figured if I was gonna die, I’d being the whole damn house down on us. But as luck would have it the house collapsed on their side and the other half was left standing. So then I went to beating the shit out of the wall that was left standing, mostly using my head as a battering ram, until I saw day light. I kinda got famous around the Goodyear airport as the “the guy who tore down a house with his bare hands” Guess news of that made its way to WEPS who was up at Luke AFB. He came to meet me, not knowing it was me. Imagine our surprise when he walked into the ready room I was in and we saw each other.

That’s one hell of a chance meeting.

[Solo] Indeed it was. He sure as hell was a sight for sore eyes. It took almost two and half months to get here from Ohio. And I spent three weeks with the rescue teams. Seeing his ugly mug was one of the best moments for me of the war. After that, I got outfitted with some heavier gear to knock down buildings with. If we were in a building and couldn’t make it to a door, I made a door. It happened several times.

Where is your son at now? He’d be about 20 years old, right?

[Solo] He’s a trainee. He was there today when you guys captured the 10 Zombies.

That’s great.

[Solo] Sure is. They’re almost done and he’ll be home after that. He has spent all of his time with the other trainees and not here with dad. I only see him in passing.

Thank you for your time, Solo.

[Solo] Anytime, Max.

[I return to WEPS.] Solo had a hell of a story.

Yep. Mother-fucker fell in love with me when I ran into him at the airport.

What do you mean?

We’d never met in person until that day. When we shook hands, he said something about love at first sight. I’m the only one who puts up with his shit. [Chuckles] Well, I’m going to get my wife and head home. You can stay here if you’d like. Come on in when you’re done.

Ok.

[WEPS gets up and talks to Solo. On his way out, he says really loud, ‘See you guys.’ Someone asks, “Hey, want me to walk you home so you don’t trip on the way back?” Everyone laughs, me included. WEPS response with, “Between my wife and your mom walking me home, I think I’ll be fine.” More laughing. I stick around for 30 minutes and get back to WEPS house. In that time, all of the ZEADS guys came up to shake my hand. It was an awe-inspiring 30 minutes for me. These men accepted me as an equal, even though I could never be a full ZEADS member. I again make notes before falling asleep.]