What akodo said.
My now 2+ year old Akita was a crate screamer and a crate pisser, even though I did "all of the right things". The screaming finally stopped when I actually violated "crate rules" and yelled at him for screaming. That stopped it, but I was right on the edge of moving the crate to the garage. The peeing was much, MUCH tougher, but it eventually stopped. When I finally figured out that he would mess the crate to get out, what worked there was to tether him to the crate with a very, VERY short lead, clean the crate, then dump him right back in without paying the least attention to him. A little bit opposite what you might ordinarily do for crate training, but you've got to work with what you have, not what the book says is what you have. But try the book solutions first, of course.
As you said yourself, you are spoiled. Suck it up, buttercup, and do the right thing, which is to stick with it when you took the dog one or two weeks sooner than was probably optimum.