Hi, Joker1 aka Mark here.

I volunteer with a group that provides grief counseling to children that have lost a family member. It is usually one or both parents or a sibling and sometimes all of the above. I use my 2 therapy dogs in a couple of different programs to help guide these people on the path to healing. The children form a very strong bond with my dogs. Now I need the help of your animal.

I want you to consider donating the memory of your animal to a child that is having trouble grieving over the loss of a family member.

Children often have strong negative emotions as they either watch a loved one suffering from a long term illness preparing to "leave" them or when their loved one(s) have "left" them suddenly. They may express feelings of anger or even hatred towards that loved one which, of course, they regret later on. This leads to terrible guilt that hampers their efforts to deal with their loss.

Other children fear for their "angel's" well being in the afterlife. They worry that their deceased family member is cold, lonely or lost.

I'm giving these children the chance to adopt an "angel pet" to give to their angel. This provides great comfort to the child. What greater gift than the idea of a warm, loving companion and guide in the afterlife?

Many, many cultures and religions throughout history have embraced ideas and traditions of animal companions in the afterlife. Egyptians mummified their pet cats and dogs to take with them, Vikings and early Europeans often took their dogs. Incas, Mayans, Native Americans, Greek, Roman even some modern Christian and Judaic religions have animals as guides, guardians and companions in the great beyond.

I do not wish to cause turmoil nor enter into theological a debate about this. If it in any way offends you I apologize. My goal is to comfort children by allowing them to give a wonderful gift to the deceased by letting them adopt your angel to bequeath to theirs.

Thank you for considering this. If you'd like to participate please post the three or four best pictures of you pet.  Ideally this would be a cute puppy or kitten pic and a pic of the animal when grown playing or loving. I'll work with what you have.

Then post (quote me and edit your answers in is probably easiest) or IM me the answers to the questionnaire. Remember we want a child to chose your animal so keep things positive!

If you decide to participate I highly recommend that you include any children in your family when filling this out. It becomes a positive experience and leaves a lasting memory of the good things about your pet. If this project works out you will receive a copy of the final dossier and a letter from the adopting child when your pet is chosen.

If you have questions you can post or if you prefer IM them to me. I would like to gather about 6 more profiles to go with the ones I have.

Thanks, Mark aka Joker1

Answer these questions. See below for explanation
.
Name:
                                                     
Nick Name:

Gender:

Breed:

Owners:  

Where They Came From:  

They Lived In:

Favorite Treat:
 
Favorite Trick:
 
Favorite Activity:
 
Dislikes:
 
Where Did They Sleep?:

Mischief:
 
Funny Thing They Did:

My Animal is Special Because:  

Explanations:

Name:  (Official name)                                    
Nick Name:  (What did you call them? Multiple names fine.)
Gender:  (boy or girl?)
Breed:  (If known. If not, guess or say “mutt”, “mixed breed”, etc.)
Owners:  (First names only.)
Where They Came From:  (Rescue at age 2, pet store as a puppy, stray of unknown age.)
They Lived In:  (I’m looking for a setting, not a location. E.g. city, farm, apt.)
Favorite Treat:  (What was your animal bonkers for or liked that was unusual.)
Favorite Trick:  (Show off their tricks or something they taught themselves like opening doors.)
Favorite Activity:  (Walks, fetching, bird/squirrel watching, car rides, sitting on your shoulder, playing with children, etc.)
Dislikes:  (The vet, thunder, nail clipping, vacuum cleaner, etc.)
Where Did They Sleep?:  (Crate, foot of bed, daughters room, etc.)
Mischief:  (Misbehaving; One time thing or bad habit you couldn‘t break. E.g. shredded TP, stole thanksgiving turkey, ate new shoes)
Funny Thing They Did:  (One time thing or something they did routinely that made you laugh.)
My Animal is Special Because:  (A paragraph or 2 about your animal.  Every animal is unique. This is your chance to briefly describe yours. Thank you for your help.)

And lastly an example generously provided by a member here:

Mark I'll get you something this weekend.  I'll have to find the box with puppy photos, got her pre digital camera.

I'll get something to you in the next few days.  Molly and Elli would probably enjoy driving someone crazy until I get there.

Thanks guys.

Buckeye,did you see Elli in the finished drawing?

We did, thank you.  She looks great - Mrs B67 approved.

Elli was a mountain cur? Domino my first Semper Fi rescue was a mountain cur. Smartest dog I've seen.

 


 

If you need more pet memories, you might try posting at http://www.petlossmessageboard.com/?forum=62448
There are some really caring people on that site.

Name: Bruiser

Nick Name: Bruise

Gender:  Male

Breed: mix - collie/GSD/retriever

Owners: Nathan

Where They Came From: stray

They Lived In: small town/rural setting

Favorite Treat: cheese - any time you opened a Kraft singles wrapper, he would come running from where ever he was.

Favorite Trick: too smart for tricks

Favorite Activity: carrying a walking stick in his mouth on a walk

Dislikes: UPS drivers

Where Did They Sleep?: basement.  When it was time for bed, he would go to the basement.  It was a great place for him to sleep.  It was warm in winter (wood stove) and cool in the summer (some of the basement was still dirt).  

Mischief: He would chew one shoe of a pair of shoes when he was mad he was left alone at home

Funny Thing They Did: Nothing particularly funny, but he was amazingly smart.  His had a huge understandable vocabulary. He could tell his female dog friend was coming towards the house when she was still out of sight and over 1000 yards away.  (This still amazes me 25 years later).

My Animal is Special Because: He was my first dog.  He was my childhood friend.  

Thanks. That'll be a good resource if this goes national next year.

Thank you. I'll need a couple/few pics as well.

That will take a while.  The photos are in photo albums at my parents house.  I'm not sure when I'll be back there.

No hurry. This is an ongoing project. I need them for the format and to "sell" your dog to the kids.

Name:  Charming Molly
Nick Name: Molly
Gender: Female
Breed: Original Mountain Cur
Owners: Larry
Where They Came From: Cincinnati, Ohio
They Lived In: Cincinnati, Ohio
Favorite Treat: Carrots (yes, really - she would go nuts for carrots :) )
Favorite Trick: On command she would shake hands with her left paw or her right paw - whichever one you asked for "Molly, left paw" or "Molly, right paw".
Favorite Activity: Barking at and/or chasing squirrels
Dislikes: Thunderstorms.  Molly was very scared of thunder - she would crawl under the bed or jump in the bath tub.  No amount of consoling her would help.
Where Did They Sleep?: Molly slept in bed with me.
Mischief: Molly loved to get into the trash!  She could demolish the contents of a trash can like no other dog I've ever known.
Funny Thing They Did: I think the funniest thing she did was tear up and devour the entire contents of a box of Twinkies.  I came home to find her in the living room surrounded by tiny shards of the box, empty Twinkie wrappers and Twinkie crumbs.  They were EVERYWHERE.  I was so angry at her (she'd snatched the box off of the kitchen counter).  I said, "MOLLY! What did YOU DO!?" She ran and jumped into her chair and turned around and laid down - her front paws hanging over the edge of the chair.  Stuck to each of her front paws was an empty Twinkie wrapper.  I went from being angry with her to laughing hysterically.  The guilty look on her face, combined with the wrappers stuck to her paws was too funny.  
My Animal is Special Because: Molly was a sweet, gentle dog.  She was a great friend.  I think she had just about the most personality of any dog I've ever known, with the possible exception of Elli.  You could just tell exactly what she was thinking simply by the expression on her face.  Molly was also loyal and brave - she once chased off a would-be burglar that got into our side door one afternoon.




































 



 

Thanks! I'm really starting to like those mountain curs.

 

Name:  Salient Elli





Nick Name: Elli





Gender: Female





Breed: Original Mountain Cur





Owners: Larry and Bonnie





Where They Came From: West Virginia





They Lived In: Dayton, Ohio





Favorite Treat: Milk Bone Dog Biscuits





Favorite Trick: Climbing and Jumping





Favorite Activity: Playing with Ben (her brother) - they would chase each other through the yard and into the bushes.  She also loved trying to jump up into the tree in the back yard.  By the time she was 5 months old, she was able to jump probably 5'-6' into the air.  She had just started taking a real interest in squirrels about the time we lost her (at 5 1/2 months).





Dislikes: I don't know that she had any, really.  





Where Did They Sleep?: Elli and Ben had their own little dog beds that they slept on.





Mischief: She and Ben liked to dig in the yard (Ben still does )





Funny Thing They Did: Elli and Ben would both grab onto a stick (they loved playing with sticks) and would carry them around together in tandem.  It was so funny and so cute.





My Animal is Special Because: Elli was on her way to becoming the most epic dog I've ever owned.  She was absolutely beautiful.  She was perfectly proportioned, had double dew claws (a rare, but highly sought after feature in the breed - it looked like she had 6 toes on her back feet), and the prettiest ticking on her legs.  She was also the smartest and most agile dog I've ever been owned.  It didn't take her any time at all to learn new commands or tricks, and she would look at new toys, or puzzles and you could see her "wheels" turning as she analyzed it trying to work it out.  She was so agile - she could turn on a dime, she could climb up fallen logs (walk on them like a tight-rope, sometimes 7'-8' high into the air), she could jump obstacles like they were nothing.  She kept trying and trying to jump up into the notch of the tree in our back yard.  She could almost do it by the time she was 5 months old.  I describe her like this to people; Elli was like that kid in your school who was the class valedictorian, the captain of the cheerleading squad, a star varsity athlete in every sport she played, and homecoming queen all rolled into one.  That one kid who is the star of everything she ever tries to do - the kid that you just want to hate because she's so good at everything... but you can't hate her because she is the nicest, sweetest person  you've ever met.  
























 

Thank you. I'm very aware of how difficult it can be to relive your experiences with a deceased pet. I hope this process helps. Knowing that your animal can still help a child is a very awesome thing. Maybe with time knowing that will lesson the pain.


Thanks to everyone that decided to participate. Your generosity moves me. -Mark aka Joker1

I thought about it but I only have one pic of her. They were all taken pre digital camera and I lost a bunch of pictures in moves over the years.

Big tawny dog with you in front of a pickup? Don't know why I remember shit like that.

That was her. Best dog ever.

Name: Shelby

Nick Name: Get off of the sofa.

Gender: Female

Breed: Great Dane

Owners: Joe

Where They Came From:  She was a rescue. She originally came from Florida. I'm not sure how she made her way to PA, but I'll always be glad that she did.

They Lived In: City

Favorite Treat: She loved Chewies.

Favorite Trick: She would shake and when told "other paw" she would switch paws and shake with that side. She also would stand up and put her front paws on my shoulders like she wanted to dance.

Favorite Activity:  She loved to go for walks at the dam near the house. She got to see other dogs, people, geese and ducks.

Dislikes:  She didn't like the fact that the cats wouldn't play with her. When I got her, they hid behind the sofa for a week. :)

Where Did They Sleep?: She had a bed in the bedroom, aside of my bed.

Mischief:  She knew that she wasn't supposed to be on the furniture, but if I left she would get on the sofa anyway. I would come in the door and she would be laying by it with a guilty look on her face. I would feel it and it was still warm.

Funny Thing They Did: She used to make a weird face. It looked like she had been smoking a cigar, the cigar was removed from her mouth and her mouth kept the same shape.

My Animal is Special Because: She liked to pretend that she was some fierce guard dog, but deep down she was just the sweetest thing ever. All she ever wanted was to be with me wherever I went and to be loved. ...and for the cats to play with her.  She has been gone for some time now and I still miss her terribly.

Thanks!

Name:  Mabel

Nick Name:  Muppet or Weenie

Gender: Female

Breed:  Beagle

Owners: Peter and Brenda

Where They Came From: A loving home @ 5 weeks old

They Lived In: The city, but loved the country

Favorite Treat: Frosty paws, but any food( human or dog) would do.

Favorite Trick: Catching treats

Favorite Activity: Eating, sleeping in my leather chair, going for walks

Dislikes: Being woke up when sleeping on Our bed

Where Did They Sleep?:  Her dog bed, my leather chair, our bed

Mischief: She was able to get under the comforter and sheets of our bed and barely disturb or mess them up. You would walk in the room to a made bed with a lump in the middle. Still don't know how she did it. She would punish herself by sitting in her cage and either facing the wall back to us or giving us the "I did something bad" puppy dog eyes; leaving us to go and try to figure out what she did or got into.

Funny Thing They Did: She would snort, me and her could go back and forth snorting like we were having a conversation. Sometimes she would mess up the comforter/blankets on the bed, pushing them in to a mountain, and she'd be on top or buried underneath. She would circle 4 times each way on her bed before she laid down.

My Animal is Special Because: Mabel was nicest, too smart for herself, stubborn, bullheaded, sweetest dog. She loved to give kisses. She would make us laugh everyday by doing something silly. She was very protective of my mother and my wife. She would cuddle up next to you and lay her head on your leg.




edit- puppy & few others in your email

Thank you. Got 'em. Can you clarify under "mischief" how she would punish herself? I want to get the stories right!

Fixed it. I truly hope this helps and makes the grieving process a little easier. My wife use to volunteer at Judi's House

Thanks. That paints a much better picture for a child to envision your animal.
Good for her re Judi's house.

All animals submitted have their dossier's completed. I await an extra pic or two for Skittles.

The way I've decided to approach the kids is this:
I tell them that they will be able to adopt an animal angel to give to their human angel. I don't let them see any of the dossiers. I tell them I have to find out about their deceased loved one so I can find the best possible match for them to adopt. They get so eager to see what I pick out for them that they throw caution to the wind and tell me whatever I ask about! After the interview I pick 2 animals that match the  personality or needs of the kid's human angel. I place the 2 choices in a folder. The suspense builds.  By now the kid is climbing out of their chair to see. I show them the pics and read them the profile. Then they choose one animal (or one animal per lost family member ).

Do you want an unusual companion? I just had to put down our prize American bison yesterday. He brought a lot of joy to us and I would not mind sharing about him and pics. Pm me if you do and I will fill out a info sheet and send pics

Name: The Major

Nick Name:baby boy

Gender: male

Breed:American Woods Bison

Owners:Robert and Natalie

Where They Came From: a ranch in Johnson City Tx

They Lived In: Rockdale Tx

Favorite Treat: field cakes(a 10% protein cow treat)

Favorite Trick:sneaking up behind people and surprising them (could be unsettling at times. he was over 750 pounds and very silent)

Favorite Activity:running from one end of the pasture to the other like he was showing off. he also liked to play with our two Boxer dogs.

Dislikes: he did not like people sneaking up on him. He would snort and run in a big circle.

Where Did They Sleep?: under a big oak tree in our pasture

Mischief:sneak into the garage to steal treats

Funny Thing They Did:lay down in a hole with just his eyes and horns showing acting invisible

My Animal is Special Because:it was awe inspiring to watch so much grace and power all in one package. He brought a lot of joy to Natalie and myself. We could not have asked for a better animal to share our ranch with. He was such a majestic animal and sometimes would act like a silly puppy showing off. These traits made for an interesting combination. If you have a loved that needs to be watched over and protected you could not ask for a better angel pet.

If you want a picture of just the dog, let me know.

Thanks guys. Now I have a Bruiser and a bison!

Bruiser: If you have any pics of Bruiser solo, great. If not I'll crop your mug out of it!
Major: Holy crap! What an awesome beast!

I will post solo pics later today.

Thank you for what you are doing. While helping children you are also helping two adults deal with a loss

In the top pic you can see one of his favorite chew toys...an old leather glove.

We let him play with snakes.  We lived on the north side of a mountain, so there were no poisonous snakes around, only black snakes, garter snakes etc.  

Bump for kitties!

Name: Molly McButter

Nick Name: Molly  or sweetheart

Gender: female

Breed: beagle

Owners: Ron and Mary

Where They Came From: rescue

They Lived In: city

Favorite Treat: french fries

Favorite Trick: begging

Favorite Activity: running and sniffing everything

Dislikes: "beggin' strips"  and baths

Where Did They Sleep?: a large pillow

Mischief: getting on the table when we were gone

Funny Thing They Did: she had a special bay [howl] for when I got got home from work

My Animal is Special Because: She was a gentle soul who gave her love to all who knew her.

Joker1 hows this program going, hopefully it is helping.

I hope you understand I'm making up this program as I go. What I've decided to do is different than I originally described here. By interviewing each child individually I was hoping to gain insight into the child's loss to pass on to their counselor. We did this with one child as a test case 2 months ago and it worked wonderfully. However, since me and my therapy dogs are a small part of the program we were unable to interview any more children due to time constraints (and this was the smallest group we've had. Maybe 10 kids.)

What I ended up doing was similar to what I did with you guys, the pet donors. I made a form asking them to describe the best memories about their human loss. Then during free time before they broke up for group counseling I spread a selection of animal profiles on a table. The child had to bring a parent (or however was in that roll now) to the table and agree to 1) allow the child to participate and 2) agree to fill out the form about their loss and return it to me. Only then could they choose an animal.

Selection was interesting to say the least. I only wish I had more children so all the animals could have been chosen this go round. Every family loved the idea and every animal was ewed and awed over. Some children went back and forth and some snatched up a particular animal and never considered another. Seeing how each kid reacted to the animals and which one they chose and HOW they chose was very interesting but I don't know how to expand on that with out spewing pages of info.  Hopefully I'll receive the letters in 2 weeks.

How about I share what my test case boy wrote? I have the families permission and he can't be identified. Background: He was under 6 at the time and received 2 animals since he suffered multiple losses in the year before he turned up in our group. His great grandmother died first followed by his grandfather, Bobo and his father lastly. One month into his first session with us his mother abandoned him and he was brought to us by his grandmother Gigi. Towards the end of the first session "Mom" was back petitioning for custody but disappeared again right before Christmas. He is a beautiful boy. Hyperkinetic and highly intelligent the words that come out of his mouth don't always sound like a child's.

He and "Gigi" misunderstood that they were supposed to write to the animal donor but I like what they did and left it. Please notice that the boy literally sees the animals going to his angels, passing messages of love and addressing a concern the boy had for his angels, loneliness and forgetting him.

He wrote:

"Dear Daddy, I miss you so much and I wish I could see you again. I think you miss me too so I found a way to make you happy. I found a doggie that is like Bear to send to you. He is a German Shepherd named Niko and likes to take hikes, play ball and sleep with people like Bear did.

Daddy, I hope you like him and will think of me when you are with him. I think about you everyday and talk about you all the time. I love you Daddy. I am trying my best to be a good boy just like you wanted me to. Love, Aiden."

"Dear Bobo, I am sending you a friend to keep you company since you aren't with Gigi and me anymore. Her name is Charleigh. She is a kitty just like Claudia was. She likes to sit in the sun and keep warn and she likes to paw at peoples ankles like Claudia did.

Gigi and I miss you so much, Bobo. We talk about you and I'm spending time with Gigi just like you asked me to. I love you and miss sitting on your lap. Here is a kiss for you and I hope you like your new friend to keep you company. Love Aiden."

Thanks again to everyone that participated.

Name: Wabbit [think Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny]

Nick Name: furball

Gender: male

Breed: Manx

Owners: Ron and Mary

Where They Came From: breeder

They Lived In: city

Favorite Treat: catnip

Favorite Trick: climbing to the top of a door and sitting up there

Favorite Activity: snoozing

Dislikes: baths

Where Did They Sleep?: pretty much anywhere the mood hit him

Mischief: ankle ambushes

Funny Thing They Did: high speed runs through the house for no apparent reason

My Animal is Special Because: he was my "buddy" for nearly 16 years.

only pic I have of him...doing his annual Christmas tree inspection.

Thanks for the wascally wabbit.
I also remember Molly Mcbutter's pic from the pet memorial thread, I believe.

I completely understand Mark. Being married to a social worker, and listening to her and her social worker friends. Of course I see it all a little different, but I'm just a couch commando on arf and watching espn. You are doing an excellent thing here, keep it up.

Due to the nature of the counseling I volunteer with I am unable to share much of what is happening with Adopt an Angel. Thanks to Aiden's family I was permitted to show you some impact your generosity is having.

It seems that every time I talk with someone about what I'm doing or sit and review/reorganize the profiles and stories I've collected, new ways of using them pop up. Here's what's new:

1) When a child adopts an angel they will get a small stack of Angel trading cards of their new animal. They can trade cards among the children in the group in order to encourage interaction and discussion of both the animals and the person that was lost. Plus it will increase the impact each animal memory will have AND it will be fun.

2) I was sharing early successes with a psychologist professor friend of mine last weekend and she wants to collaborate on an academic paper about our angels as well as have my me and my dog give a lecture to this years Child Development class at UC.

3) I've opened discussion with the director of Bereavement at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Hospice to see if she can use this in her programs.

4) Just now as I'm typing out an email to the above Director another idea creeps into my head. They don't just deal with the surviving children after a death. They are dealing with children as they are dying. I'm wondering if....Would a dying child be comforted by knowing an animal angel was waiting love them in the afterlife?

Here's kinda what the trading cards will look like. They'll be 3.5"x5". I'll put a border on them as soon as I figure out how (I have no skills).

I'm playing with these and thought some one might get a kick out of them.

They look good, and good luck with the lecture/paper and Cinci Childrens.

They look good, and good luck with the lecture/paper and Cinci Childrens.

This.



 

A huge thank you to LutzNutz! He stepped up and jazzed up the card designs and made them much nicer.

Update: last night was the end of the fall session of STARS, the grief counseling group for kids and their families. The previous session is when I let kids pick an animal to adopt. Yesterday is when they where to tell me who the animal was for (the person they lost). Unfortunately there is some "bug" making it's way through the area. Several kids were out last meeting and several were absent last night and unable to give me their info. Here's two I would like to share. A brother and sister. They didn't write a letter but I thought the pictures were great.
The sister's:


The bother's:



Their little sister died at just over 2 y.o. from a congenital birth defect. Gavin selected Major because he was big enough to carry his sister around in heaven. Nora was confined to a wheelchair. Look at the joy on Nora's face in the pictures. This is how the children picture their sister with her new animal angel friends.

I'm sorry that all your animals weren't used this time around. I had more animals than kids this session. I will use each and everyone of them eventually.

Oh these damn winter allergies.........

Frank the Ferret making a 7 year old's father happy.


Another 4 y.o. boy shows his Grandma with Hexe the Rottweiller.


Pugsy with a 4 y.o.'s father. (I think she had help with the drawing.)


ETA: Notice that all the pictures depict the human angels smiling. They are clearly happy to receive their new pets.