Jeff is remembered. And sorely missed.

Here's to Jeff.



Sorry I'm late.  Many time zones away.

To Jeff!  

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Huzzah!

So last year when Jeff asked us all to register on bethematch.org I honored his request.

Last night they identified me as a possible match for a young child with some kind of cancer. Ever since that call I've been thinking about Jeff. I go in for a blood draw and a bunch more testing on Monday morning.

Jeff... you are missed. God willing, I am a good match to this boy and I will proudly donate with you in my thoughts the whole time.

Friday night I was going through the text messages on my phone. At 2 am, for some dumb reason. I had all the messages transferred from Jeff's phone so my phone is LOADED! I came across beautiful messages of love, sadness, inspiration, grief, and support from all the beautiful ARFCOMers, and Texas Hunting Forum and Godlike Production buddies. There are too many messages to count. Each of them special and perfect. I can't tell you, each of you, how much those messages meant to Jeff and still mean so much to me. Of course the messages brought me to tears, but the one stupid message that really did me in was a text message from him to me that was oddly all by itself: "Get taco bell". It was December 3rd, the day before he went to hospice. We had just been given the news that there was no more chemo. No more treatment. The tumor had practically exploded in his belly. I was driving home to get some things for Jeff and a change of clothes and things for myself so I could return to the hospital for the night. I was driving El Blanco, the little white Elantra we bought when we traded in Jeff's truck. My phone wasn't paired with the bluetooth in the car (first world problems, eh?), so I had to look at my phone to call my daughter to see if I needed to pick her up from her friend's house. It was just after the call connected that I rear-ended the car in front of me, so my daughter heard a few choice expletives. There wasn't a whole lot of damage to the car in front of me and, as luck would have it, there was a policeman one car behind me who saw the whole thing. He facilitated the exchange of information and advised me not to drive since the hood was a little crumpled and he didn't want it to fly up while driving. I told him I didn't have far to go and drove on. A friend of ours stayed with Jeff while I made the mad dash home so I called her to let her know I had just had an accident, not to tell Jeff, and would be a little later than I planned. Jeff subsequently changed his mind on his last meal to beef and cheddar sandwiches from Arby's. He ordered three. I knew he'd maybe eat only one but I ordered them anyway.

I spent the next day in my jammies with Jeff. I greeted hospice coordinators, the chaplain, grief counselors, friends, and doctors in my pajamas. Jeff's spirits were up. He was happy to see his friends from Masco. He was pretty drugged and drifted in and out of sleep, but he was happy when he opened his eyes. That was really his last coherent day.

So yesterday I got up, went to Home Depot and bought paint. I finished painting in my bedroom and got the baseboards done on three walls. (Slight miscalculation on materials and I'll have to move my heavy bed again to get to the fourth wall, but it still looks kickass.) And I feel better. The tears still come a bit easy today, but I'm better.

Thank you, my ARFCOM family, for being here and helping me grieve. It just sucks, but I'm glad you're here.

On my God! What an honor! I also hope you're a good match and you can extend the life of another. Jeff would be proud!

Thank you for sharing the above with us Reta.

.

Gladly. (That is... if any of my drivel is intelligible or helpful)

I still think of Jeff. Hope the holidays go well. Merry Christmas.

Still thinking of you reta.

TO Reta,  and family, everyone that posted in this thread, and anyone who even took time to read some of it, a very special Marry Christmas. You shall all be here at our house for the holidays and more.

Merry Christmas y'all. My ARFCOM family has never let me down. You've been considerate, hopeful for me and the kids, provided countless shoulders to cry on, a bazillion words of encouragement, and even introduced me to my new guy. Yup, he's one of you :)  Kind of fitting, actually.

It's been an interesting year, and I look forward to what 2015 has in store for me and the kids. Keep smiling and choose happy :)

Merry Christmas to you and the kids.

Merry Christmas Reta, and God Bless.

Merry Christmas!

I lost track of this thread as the holidays get hectic.  So I just started subscribing to a bunch of threads rather than reading them figuring "Interesting. Oh, I'll read that later".  Now the threads I do enjoy keeping up with are jumbled among pages of threads I subscribed to and will probably be unable to understand why I thought I'd want to read them in the first place.  

I'll need to clean up my subscription list.... Soon.

Weekend bump.  Hi, Reta!  

Hope you and the family are doing well.

So... life is good. I've seen glimpses of it over the past year, the sun peeking through the clouds, but it now feels... good. The sun is out like an August day in Texas and I'm basking in it's glow.

Work is still going well, thankfully. My employer has rewarded me nicely and I feel appreciated. The stress is manageable.

The kids are healthy and doing well. Travis got braces and had a rough first day or two, but he's back to his happy, smiling self ...until his next appointment in March when he'll be sore again for a couple days. He'll soon see the cycle. Kristen is now considering college. She had been pretty set on cosmetology school (she wants to be a make-up/special effects make-up artist), but now wants to check out UT, maybe A&M, probably others - for what, she doesn't know! She's got to get really serious about school first if she has any inkling of going to college. Alex will be going to college this fall, if it kills me. The child is immune to any attempts at motivation, but I'm determined.

It's a blessing not having to worry about home, kids and work. I think this stability in my life has allowed me to open my heart and find love again. I feel alive again. I feel cherished. I feel loved. It's amazing. He's amazing. He's very unique - I guess that's my "type". Comparisons to Jeff are inevitable, but they do have quite a bit in common. Maybe that has made things even easier. We've only been dating a couple of months, but things look promising. One might advise me to Take it easy. Don't let him break your heart. You're still grieving and vulnerable. Well, I don't want to be in a relationship fearing the worst, waiting for something bad to happen. I'm jumping in headfirst, into the deep end. I would rather give my heart a work-out - pumping fast, full of adrenaline and excitement, even if it gets smashed to smithereens - instead of allowing it to gather dust in the corner, withering and faltering from lack of attention. I'm tired of being sooo careful. Maybe this comes with age.

The house projects continue, though not as maniacally as before, since I have someone new attracting my attention. I'll be painting in the master bath soon and replacing the baseboards. Later will come new carpet, countertops, and some bitchin' fireplace tile after a bit of construction to remove the monstrosity of a plant ledge that abuts the fireplace. ...goofy floorplan. What were we thinking?

I was just thinking about you guys so I said a prayer for you and now I ended up on this thread.  God is good!  Hang in there and enjoy each day forward.  Hugs

Nice to read the positive update Reta.  

I am so happy to read the above. Life does go on, and you and your family deserve to be happy. Much love and still praying for you and yours...

Double post fail.

Checking in, all looks well, carry on. Hi everyone.

I applied for NRA membership yesterday, as step one of membership at the local gun club. The nice folks there are transferring Jeff's membership to me so I will soon be a member after payment of dues and orientation. I even found the electronic keycard for the club gate. Yay me!!

I look forward to some range time when it's a bit warmer. It's also high time I learned to clean a gun. I know someone who can help me with that. I hear this YouTube thing might have some useful info too.

 Have fun!

I prayed to God to give me some perspective in my life, and I stumbled across this thread again. Thank you

Edit: A worthy post 357 indeed

Best to FW's family.

I have one of the triggers on my favorite gun, so will think of him often.

Hey, everyone. I haven't posted in here in awhile, but I have been reading everything. I'm glad you and your family are doing good Reta.

We added a new member to my family Dec. 22 and he is a fighter just like Jeff. He was born with a heart defect and is on a vent to help him breath but he is doing better every day, the NICU in Pittsburgh is great and hopefully we can get him back in WV soon.

I still have the text messages in my phone from you, and Jeff. I just cannot bring myself to delete them.

Best wishes for your little one and family.

I totally started a reply a week ago, but I'm sure something shiny flitted by and kept me from finishing my post.

I'm sending every best wish to you and your family, especially your new addition, and hope that everyone is together at home soon, if not already. Struggles definitely make you appreciate your blessings even more, but I hope your baby boy quickly overcomes his obstacles and is soon cooing happily in his new surroundings.

I, too, have all the ARFCOM messages saved and backed up to my computer. Travis will appreciate ARFCOM again when he is older.

Thank you for sharing all this with us!

Well Porter passed this morning. I know Jeff welcomed him with opened arms and will take him under his wing.

 

Man that's horrible. You have my condolences.

prayers for comfort inbound

Prayers for you and your family...

transposition of the great vessels

My condolences to you and your family.  As you said, I'm sure Jeff is hugging the little guy close.  If you ever need anything, I watch this thread regularly or feel free to PM me.  As a father myself, reading your update was a gut punch.

My post in GD

We're here for you, Josh.