Last week I played a dance gig with a pretty good band – 5 saxes, three trumpets, three ‘bones, rhythm section and a singer.  The 2nd to the last piece we played was an arrangement of the Billy Joel song “Just the Way You Are” featuring yours truly on bass trombone.  The leader gave me a crazy introduction, including “invented the trombone” and “plays tuba in the shower”.
As I was packing up, a woman in her mid-70s came up to me and told me how much she liked my playing.  I thanked her, thinking that was the end of it.  Then she said, “I’d love to see you play tuba in the shower”.
!!?!??!
Lookie here; I just turned 71.  I’m in good shape and my face doesn’t frighten most small children.  I’ve been hit on a few times in the last few years, mostly at the gym.  But this was by far the most blatant come-on I can remember since my USAF days.  
I laughed and said, “Admit it; you just want to see me in the shower”.
She leaned in close and said, “That’s exactly right”.

So how was her shower?

Way to go - as long as you're not married, TAKE A SHOWER!

Granny got it bad.

Shit, old people need loving too!!!!

Thats why God invented Viagra and Cialis.
So how was the 'shower'?

I haven't but my son did when he was about 16. Something about that saxamaphone.  Well to do women in her later 30's/ early 40's, very well kept and attractive enough. He didn't' know what to do other than turn bright bright red.

A couple of times.  Once very early in my musical career, when a young little hottie followed me out to my car as I was loading out.  I gave her the cold shoulder, which probably saved her life as my then-wife was inside the venue, and would have gutted her like a fish, the psycho she is.

Last time was a little over a year ago playing a charity concert.  After leaving the stage and throwing my drums in the truck, I went back inside to hang with the bandmates, and this absolutely smoking hot red head walks up behind me, puts her hands on my shoulders, and whispers in my ear, "you were great".  Walks away looking over her shoulder at me.  I'm happily married (new one, not psycho), otherwise I would have destroyed that.  

And that's a grand total of twice in what, 25 years.

A couple times over the course of six years...

But as a bassist in a death metal band, it was never the kind of strange I wanted to attract. Dreadlocked pot-heads and orca-hippos.

Your fault for playing bass.

4 > 6

1) Agree about the crowds deathmetal shows attract and
2) LOL ragincajun1919

Almost every show.  

Ocassionally.

Wife is at every show though, is a ginger, and is a great shot, so.......

Many boobs, many chicks kissing each other for us, many girls flashing us, had my "stuff" grabbed many, many, times.  Even had an incredible 22 year old redhead travel 6 hours to see us play, then hang out in a hotel with me 1 night a month.  Ended up marrying her eventually.  Yeah, she was crazy.  Gone now, but holy shit.  I'd do it all again if I could go back 10 years.