We all see weird or unusual crap playing gigs.  Let’s see some stories!

For years, an elderly woman named “Dot” showed up for dances with music provided by a big jazz band I’m in.  Dot was a character.  She always wore the same dress, slit up the front on both sides, almost to the waist.  When the band would play a hot or raunchy number – “The Stripper” or “Harlem Nocturne” or “Minnie the Moocher” or “Sugar Blues” – Dot would grab the front of her dress, pull it up as far as it would go and swing it around.  Her husband danced nearby, ignoring his wife’s display.  
She did her thing right in front of the band and we were all treated (if that’s the word) to a clear view of her panties, assuming she was wearing any that night.
Dot was a natural redhead.
The band was sorry to hear that Dot kicked the bucket several months ago.  We’ll miss her.

Jeez, no one has any stories about hot chicks?

One time after playing a party, I got hit on by a gay dude. I'm pretty sure I had a deer caught in the headlights look on my face. I told him thanks (he completed me on my guitar playing), and slinked out of the room.

And I have nothing against gay dudes being gay with each other, it's just not my thing........

HHot chicks don't flock towards me. Something about being a fat rednecky lookin' dude turns them off.

 

After rehearsal Monday night, I got hit on by a member of the band (female) who started off telling me all about her weekend “fling” with a piano player in Orlando.  
As if I wanted or needed to know.
Now, keep in mind that I barely know her and couldn’t even remember her name.  
Also keep in mind that she’s late-40s and I’m 70.  
She outweighs me by a good 110 lbs.  You could serve a six-course meal on her butt.
Deflect!
Do not engage!
I feigned impenetrable ignorance of what she was proposing.  
My wife thought this little episode was hilarious.  

My band is known for bringing in the local cougars, most of which have the the after market upgrades.

They are known as the "Plastic Fantastic" crew.

This was a fewndecades ago...

The chick with the skulls tattooed on her shoulders followed me into the men's room and into the stall.  It is almost impossible to pee when a crazy spikey haired tattooed chick is stripping and grabbing your dick. She stuffed her panties and her phone number in my pocket and left.  (No..)