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Posted: 7/9/2016 8:49:30 PM EDT
First off please keep the gd stuff out of here.
My wife and I have been together for 11 years and just had our first child two weeks ago. Now she was raised baptist, church 3x per week, daily bible study...etc, I was raised Catholic, currently am non practicing. Now for my dilemma. My wife's family will be watching our son when we are working, we are paying her mother to due such as she does not work. I told my wife I do not want her parents to influence his beliefs, i.e. Brainwash him into thinking he has to be baptist to get to heaven, which I was told by her parents I will not be going to due to being catholic. My wife was most unhappy with this as she feels her parents are doing us a favor. Where do I draw the line? Her parents and I don't see eye to eye on much due to being "unequally yolked" her dad said. My wife said she has no problem with her parents Teaching him their beliefs because it will make her family happy, hence why she wants to get him baptized by a priest, even though she does not believe in it, as she thinks it will make my family happy. My parents could care less as long as he is happy and healthy. I'm at a loss here guys, any advice is more than welcomed. |
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This is a hard one op. First, it's your child, not her parents. I would baptize my child Catholic and let them know that will be it's faith. How can her parents be doing you a favor if you're paying them? Also I would question their faith if they are saying because you're Catholic you won't go to heaven. That doesn't sound very Christian to me, period !
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I am an old man. My "kids" are all in their 30's+. I am a Southern Baptist, as my wife, and my kids were all raised in the Southern Baptist Church.
None of my girls married another Baptist. I got Catholics, a Lutheran and a who knows...... Your children are your children. Your in charge of their well being and their spiritual growth. Their are lots of religious neutral books etc. Non Denominational. I would stress to my in-laws you have no issue with your child being exposed to Christ and his word....but keep it Non-Denominational. Tell them you wish to be involved with any and all material he will be exposed to during his stay with your in-laws. Be extra sensitive to letting them know how much you appreciate their Christian home......but you prefer to keep a denominational "twist" on the Word out of it for now. Mom and I speak freely about Christ around our Grandchildren. We pray in front of them. It is normal to them as that is who we are. We do not speak of Baptist or Catholic....just Christ and his word. They will gather around a religion they fill comfortable with.....then they will marry an Episcopalian and all your stress and worry will be for naught :) |
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OP, honest question...you mention you're currently a non-practicing Catholic. Why are you non-practicing? If you're not a practicing Catholic, why is this such a big issue for you?
I'm only asking because I've seen a number of people who were non-practicing whatever absolutely insist on baptisms, weddings, funerals, etc., in whatever denomination they weren't practicing. This even though they'd not darkened a church door in years. Makes no sense to me. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Practicing or non-practicing. Baptist or Catholic. Neither will get you to Heaven.
Jesus told us what we must do. Maybe you and your wife should have a serious talk and pray about it? |
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I am Baptist and your situation is strange to me.
They must be some form of Primitive Baptist or something I am not familiar with. Because my Baptist faith sees a baptism as an outward sign & public statement of faith. It doesn't get you to heaven. You must be saved, confess that Jesus is Lord, while acknowledging in your heart that Christ must have full rule over your life. This confession of Christ as Lord assumes that it is Christ who will work and fulfill his own righteousness within man. I don't have kids but have many nieces & nephews through my sister. She and her children are Baptist but she sends them to a local Catholic school since it is one of the better schools around. They learn the many customs & rituals associated with Catholicism but that does not contradict the Baptist faith. |
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I am Baptist and your situation is strange to me. They must be some form of Primitive Baptist or something I am not familiar with. Because my Baptist faith sees a baptism as an outward sign & public statement of faith. It doesn't get you to heaven. You must be saved, confess that Jesus is Lord, while acknowledging in your heart that Christ must have full rule over your life. This confession of Christ as Lord assumes that it is Christ who will work and fulfill his own righteousness within man. I don't have kids but have many nieces & nephews through my sister. She and her children are Baptist but she sends them to a local Catholic school since it is one of the better schools around. They learn the many customs & rituals associated with Catholicism but that does not contradict the Baptist faith. View Quote There are many Southern Baptists in my area (maybe most of them) that will absolutely run down the Catholic, and I'm sure Orthodox if they thought to, as being non-Christian/hell bound/cultists and whatever other hateful things you can come up with. Flip side: one could argue that if the OP were truly concerned about what the in-laws might teach the kids he would not be "non-practicing". |
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Quoted: OP, honest question...you mention you're currently a non-practicing Catholic. Why are you non-practicing? If you're not a practicing Catholic, why is this such a big issue for you? I'm only asking because I've seen a number of people who were non-practicing whatever absolutely insist on baptisms, weddings, funerals, etc., in whatever denomination they weren't practicing. This even though they'd not darkened a church door in years. Makes no sense to me. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile View Quote A lot of Catholics are non practicing but identify as Catholic and nevertheless want their kids to be baptized Catholic. It's almost a cultural thing. I fell somewhat into that group until around 5 or 6 months ago... and then I felt called back to my faith. As it turns out, I was called back just in time for me to go through the most difficult and trying thing I've ever experienced (which started in March). |
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First off please keep the gd stuff out of here. My wife and I have been together for 11 years and just had our first child two weeks ago. Now she was raised baptist, church 3x per week, daily bible study...etc, I was raised Catholic, currently am non practicing. Now for my dilemma. My wife's family will be watching our son when we are working, we are paying her mother to due such as she does not work. I told my wife I do not want her parents to influence his beliefs, i.e. Brainwash him into thinking he has to be baptist to get to heaven, which I was told by her parents I will not be going to due to being catholic. My wife was most unhappy with this as she feels her parents are doing us a favor. Where do I draw the line? Her parents and I don't see eye to eye on much due to being "unequally yolked" her dad said. My wife said she has no problem with her parents Teaching him their beliefs because it will make her family happy, hence why she wants to get him baptized by a priest, even though she does not believe in it, as she thinks it will make my family happy. My parents could care less as long as he is happy and healthy. I'm at a loss here guys, any advice is more than welcomed. View Quote I'm Catholic, but if you're not practicing your faith, then why do you want your son to be baptized in the Catholic Church? Making your family happy is not a good reason. For what it's worth, the likelihood of children retaining any kind of faith life in adulthood is directly related to their father's participation in weekly worship services. If dad goes, the kids are more likely than not to continue going to church as adults. If only mom goes, the kids are highly unlikely to attend church regularly. In fact, people are very slightly more likely to attend weekly services if neither parent goes while they are growing up than if only mom attends regularly. If you're not practicing your faith, you're making a choice about how your kids will grow up. |
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Quoted: I'm Catholic, but if you're not practicing your faith, then why do you want your son to be baptized in the Catholic Church? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: First off please keep the gd stuff out of here. My wife and I have been together for 11 years and just had our first child two weeks ago. Now she was raised baptist, church 3x per week, daily bible study...etc, I was raised Catholic, currently am non practicing. Now for my dilemma. My wife's family will be watching our son when we are working, we are paying her mother to due such as she does not work. I told my wife I do not want her parents to influence his beliefs, i.e. Brainwash him into thinking he has to be baptist to get to heaven, which I was told by her parents I will not be going to due to being catholic. My wife was most unhappy with this as she feels her parents are doing us a favor. Where do I draw the line? Her parents and I don't see eye to eye on much due to being "unequally yolked" her dad said. My wife said she has no problem with her parents Teaching him their beliefs because it will make her family happy, hence why she wants to get him baptized by a priest, even though she does not believe in it, as she thinks it will make my family happy. My parents could care less as long as he is happy and healthy. I'm at a loss here guys, any advice is more than welcomed. I'm Catholic, but if you're not practicing your faith, then why do you want your son to be baptized in the Catholic Church? I see plenty of Italians and Mexicans in city court for all kinds of charges with big gold crucifixes hanging from their necks. Ever notice how much fuller churches are on Christmas and Easter? The extra people are the kind that don't really practice but baptize their kids Catholic anyway. |
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I see plenty of Italians and Mexicans in city court for all kinds of charges with big gold crucifixes hanging from their necks. Ever notice how much fuller churches are on Christmas and Easter? The extra people are the kind that don't really practice but baptize their kids Catholic anyway. View Quote I understand THAT non-practicing Catholics want to be baptized, and typically married, in the Catholic Church. I don't understand WHY they want those things. Sacraments aren't only some cultural talisman. |
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I'm of the opinion that baptism isn't something to be taken lightly. It is a Sacarament. It should be treated as such. It isn't a go along with someone thing. If you are a parent and having your child baptized, the reason shouldn't be because someone wants it. It should be because God commanded it. If you are older and contemplating baptism yourself, it shouldn't be because someone pressured you, or some emotional service made you feel special. It should be because God commanded it.
The reason we see so many people who are baptized 3 or more times in their life if because they don't understand this. When you are baptized it is forever. God does His part and doesn't mess up.... |
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Quoted: I understand THAT non-practicing Catholics want to be baptized, and typically married, in the Catholic Church. I don't understand WHY they want those things. Sacraments aren't only some cultural talisman. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: I see plenty of Italians and Mexicans in city court for all kinds of charges with big gold crucifixes hanging from their necks. Ever notice how much fuller churches are on Christmas and Easter? The extra people are the kind that don't really practice but baptize their kids Catholic anyway. I understand THAT non-practicing Catholics want to be baptized, and typically married, in the Catholic Church. I don't understand WHY they want those things. Sacraments aren't only some cultural talisman. But that's how people view it. Ever hear of a secular Jew? These are (mostly) secular Catholics. I wasn't that bad, but I wasn't a good Catholic either. Have you ever seen She's the One? This exchange is amusing (and also very sad) to me because I know a ton of people who could easily say this with a straight face: Mickey Fitzpatrick: Why are you getting so upset Dad? You don't even believe in God. Mr. Fitzpatrick: That doesn't mean I'm going to stop being a good Catholic. |
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I believe that you as the father plant all the seeds that will grow in your child as an adult. Get your ass back to church and get him baptized.
You need to take the lead in his spiritual life and he will know when he hears BS and will dismiss it. Respect her parents and your wife but be a gentle giant in your faith. As he grows teach him about all faiths and explain why we believe as we do. Tell him when he is an adult he will make his own choices. And don't sweat it too much at least there not muslim. Allso alot baptists and others dont think Catholics are christians. My thoughts anyway. |
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Been there done that only with my family. Your family is like my grandma. You and your wife need to come together and find some common ground like now. You're gonna have to be firm and quick. My grandma said one snide comment in front of me and that was it. I told her right then and there that comments like that would not be tolerated and if she couldn't do that, then to stay home. We had just invited her to the infant baptism
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You need to be united in your choice.
Just a heads up, as a non practicing Catholic, your request to have your child baptized by a priest may be a little challenging. You will be asked to have God Parents who are Catholics in good standing. You'll be asked if your marriage was blessed in the Church and as part of the baptism you will be asked to raise the child in the Catholic faith. This is just a heads up so you aren't confused if these things come up. |
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I was raised Catholic, currently am non practicing. View Quote Your not active in Catholicism so your kid will never hear the word. Much less a Catholic version. Your in laws want to share the word .... But their Baptist " Evil". And it doesn't look like you will raise him as Catholic since YOU ARE NOT PRACTICING. |
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To UXO2's point. Some of this sounds harsh.
But I am going to suggest to you that raising this child is the most important thing you will ever do in your life. You are responsible for this baby's emotional, physical and SPIRITUAL well being and growth. I think my greatest fear in this life is failing my children spiritually. I know my greatest heartbreak is to see them flounder spiritually. We can afford to fail as parents so minutely. But failing God? That is another thing. OP the place for you to begin is a desire not to please one's parents or in-laws but worry about pleasing God and what is God's will for you, AND for your family. I say this because regardless of what the in-laws want, your are now the spiritual leader of your family. It is a very personal choice between you and your wife. You need to stop worrying about pleasing your earthly parents and concentrate on pleasing your heavenly Father. They don't count in this. Its on you and your wife to do what is right by this kid. You didn't marry your mothers mom and dad. You married your wife and this is not a small insignificant decision. It's a great big one and one of the most important as it will shape your child's view of the world but most importantly God. You will find the answer to your question when you ask the right One for the answer. You won't find that answer on arfcom. I would spend some knee time. God has never failed to answer a prayer for guidance and wisdom. But first recognize the importance of what you are doing. If you chose Catholic you choose 100% not bits and pieces. The sacraments shouldn't be taken lightly. |
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To UXO2's point. Some of this sounds harsh. Yes it is harsh... But you get the point... You are responsible for this baby's SPIRITUAL well being and growth. <<<< this I think my greatest fear in this life is failing my children spiritually. It's a great big one and one of the most important as it will shape your child's view of the world but most importantly God. If you chose Catholic you choose 100% not bits and pieces. The sacraments shouldn't be taken lightly. View Quote I am not thee "" Ideal Catholic"" but I chose to raise my Child as such because I don't want to explain to the Father why I failed in showing her his word so she can be saved. |
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Quoted: I am not thee "" Ideal Catholic"" but I chose to raise my Child as such because I don't want to explain to the Father why I failed in showing her his word so she can be saved. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: To UXO2's point. Some of this sounds harsh. Yes it is harsh... But you get the point... You are responsible for this baby's SPIRITUAL well being and growth. <<<< this I think my greatest fear in this life is failing my children spiritually. It's a great big one and one of the most important as it will shape your child's view of the world but most importantly God. If you chose Catholic you choose 100% not bits and pieces. The sacraments shouldn't be taken lightly. I am not thee "" Ideal Catholic"" but I chose to raise my Child as such because I don't want to explain to the Father why I failed in showing her his word so she can be saved. I'm with you! Blessings! |
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My kind brother.. I hope you didn't misinterpret my intent. I meant, what I was about to say was going to be the harsh reality and was hoping to expand on the point you made. I'm with you! Blessings! View Quote Sorry. Sometimes a little GD wants to come out in me. But yes. If you don't lead them. Who will ? |
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I understand THAT non-practicing Catholics want to be baptized, and typically married, in the Catholic Church. I don't understand WHY they want those things. Sacraments aren't only some cultural talisman. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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I see plenty of Italians and Mexicans in city court for all kinds of charges with big gold crucifixes hanging from their necks. Ever notice how much fuller churches are on Christmas and Easter? The extra people are the kind that don't really practice but baptize their kids Catholic anyway. I understand THAT non-practicing Catholics want to be baptized, and typically married, in the Catholic Church. I don't understand WHY they want those things. Sacraments aren't only some cultural talisman. |
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Quoted: Many if not most have made it into a cultual talisman. My wife's family makes it entirely a cultural thing, not a one of them can even name the books of the Bible in order much less cite anything they do 6 days a week other than mindlessly repeat mantras that distinguishes them from just typical northeastern liberals. She's thinking that it would be a big scandal if our kids weren't raised "cathoilic" meaning all the ceremonies purely because her extended family simply knows no different and seems to think it would be like interracial marriage in 1950's Mississippi. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I see plenty of Italians and Mexicans in city court for all kinds of charges with big gold crucifixes hanging from their necks. Ever notice how much fuller churches are on Christmas and Easter? The extra people are the kind that don't really practice but baptize their kids Catholic anyway. I understand THAT non-practicing Catholics want to be baptized, and typically married, in the Catholic Church. I don't understand WHY they want those things. Sacraments aren't only some cultural talisman. Even then, in today's world with all the pressure and pull of secularism, sometimes the best people can offer God is this "make a parent happy or "designer" event. It lessons what it's all about significantly. We've white washed it so badly it's lost its significance. |
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Quoted: Many if not most have made it into a cultual talisman. My wife's family makes it entirely a cultural thing, not a one of them can even name the books of the Bible in order much less cite anything they do 6 days a week other than mindlessly repeat mantras that distinguishes them from just typical northeastern liberals. She's thinking that it would be a big scandal if our kids weren't raised "cathoilic" meaning all the ceremonies purely because her extended family simply knows no different and seems to think it would be like interracial marriage in 1950's Mississippi. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I see plenty of Italians and Mexicans in city court for all kinds of charges with big gold crucifixes hanging from their necks. Ever notice how much fuller churches are on Christmas and Easter? The extra people are the kind that don't really practice but baptize their kids Catholic anyway. I understand THAT non-practicing Catholics want to be baptized, and typically married, in the Catholic Church. I don't understand WHY they want those things. Sacraments aren't only some cultural talisman. My wife's family is the same (though they're far from liberals). My BIL insisted that his sons be baptized but they haven't been inside a church since except for my wife's and my wedding and their grandfather's funeral. Her mother's side of the family is Polish and her mother has a picture of John Paul II hanging up and has a cross nailed over every exterior door in her house but she only goes to churches for weddings and funerals. |
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Unless she is going to be watching the kid for 3 years or more, he isn't going to absorb any of it. Send him to Catholic preschool and grade school once he is old enough, that should knock loose any mumbo jumbo.
I'm a non practicing Catholic as well, if Catholic school did anything for me, it made me more tolerant of other religions, especially non Catholic Christian sects. |
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I can't comprehend the 'non practicing Catholic' thing at all. Either you understand the Word, believe the Gospel and then desire to practice the tenets of the Church or.... you don't. This half in, half out thing is insipid to me.
Matthew 7:21 Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Revelation 3:15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. I would never claim to a 'perfect Catholic' or a 'perfect christian.' We are all pitiful sinners. But why bother to even identify as something - some denomination - or claim to be a member of a group, especially the Church, and then never even attempt to embrace this life that we are called to live? Makes no sense. |
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I can't comprehend the 'non practicing Catholic' thing at all. Either you understand the Word, believe the Gospel and then desire to practice the tenets of the Church or.... you don't. This half in, half out thing is insipid to me. Matthew 7:21 Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Revelation 3:15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. I would never claim to a 'perfect Catholic' or a 'perfect christian.' We are all pitiful sinners. But why bother to even identify as something - some denomination - or claim to be a member of a group, especially the Church, and then never even attempt to embrace this life that we are called to live? Makes no sense. View Quote And I will agree here. If you have a Faith and a belief, defend it. Live it. I don't agree with everyone here. But I will stand by and defend my beliefs. Because they are what I believe. And though I disagree with some, if you are consistent and live your faith, I will respect you. It's those that claim something and have no idea what they are saying or just want to call themselves something that I will question. |
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Quoted: I can't comprehend the 'non practicing Catholic' thing at all. Either you understand the Word, believe the Gospel and then desire to practice the tenets of the Church or.... you don't. This half in, half out thing is insipid to me. Matthew 7:21 Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Revelation 3:15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. I would never claim to a 'perfect Catholic' or a 'perfect christian.' We are all pitiful sinners. But why bother to even identify as something - some denomination - or claim to be a member of a group, especially the Church, and then never even attempt to embrace this life that we are called to live? Makes no sense. View Quote I'm sure it's not common in places like AL where Catholicism is a minority religion. In my area, Irish, Italian, and Polish ancestry (especially Italian and Irish) dominate. There were over 600 people in my high school class and I knew of (I think) 3 that weren't Catholic. I'm sure there were a few more, but not many. When it was confirmation time at the 3 parishes in my school district, it seemed like everybody was getting confirmed. And most people's families were of the "Mass on Christmas and Easter only" persuasion. But they had their kids in CCD. It's just the way that it is. It's a cultural thing. |
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