I've posted my struggles before and appreciate all who have tried to help me along. It seems I do well in my faith a few months and then crash into a pit of doubt and unbelief. Every time I do, I feel I'm getting further away from any true faith in God and that depresses me deeply, because I want to believe that life has meaning.

My mind is a mess. Here's what I think I know and believe:

There is a God or something intelligent created the universe.

People, like animals, are basically selfish and are motivated by food, sex, and control.

The earth is old.

Humanity is starkly different and unique in the animal kingdom and this is not the result of unguided forces of evolution.

Jesus did exist historically.

Jesus eliminates the possibility that all religions are essentially the same by his teachings.

Jesus teachings as recorded in the New Testament are authentic and not myth.

People, many of them with good intentions, have run a thousand directions with his words and made a mess of them.  

And lastly...

I've asked Jesus to come into my heart and reveal himself to me a thousand times. I can point to many emotional experiences, but not to a deeper sense of assurance or certainty that I have a relationship with him. This reality depresses me greatly.

Op maybe your thinking too hard or expecting too much. There is a God and he created all things. Humanity is different because of our ability to create; it's why HE gave us domain of all HE created. People do make a mess of God's word and of Jesus's word. Sometimes in an evil way and sometimes in misunderstood way. Jesus is already in your heart you just have to let Him lead the way. Be thankful to Him by understanding there is a good and bad in all things and that it's up to you to understand the difference. Why don't you go outside this evening and look at all the stars in the sky, wonder how many there are, and be thankful your on one called Earth. Also go to the church of your choice and ask the Priest or minister about it. They will assist you also.

I share your faith as well OP. Here are a few quotes that have helped me get out of that pit:

"The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and

the truth you already know." Reference


"The Savior's injunction to ask and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you is a gate to spiritual guidance.

I learned that gentle promptings will encourage us to make the right decisions.

When carefully observed, these gentle impressions to our heart can be followed by specific counsel given to our mind.

That counsel leads us to know what to do with greater precision." ("21 Principles" - By: Richard G. Scott)

We are separated from God. It sucks, but it's the way it is, because in every one of our hearts is sin. It is our nature. God would have been just in destroying every last one of us in the flood.

Only because of His love and mercy for us did He spare Noah and his family.

As a Christian I deal with my sinful nature every day. It's a struggle but I know when I sin because the Holy Spirit convicts me, even if it's just an evil thought.

Do you hate your sin? If you do, then you are on the right track.

I don't know what else to tell you other than get on your knees and pray.

God has revealed much to me while pouring my heart out to Him.

He loves us.

the thing is, you just started following him right? relationship with "J" takes times. he is watching you and he is observing you. keep on and you will see. the holy spirit will visit you. read the bible often and learn from others who have waited on him.

Here are some "must have" essentials to maintain a walk with Christ.

A daily reading of the Word.

1 Timothy 4:13 Until I come, give attention to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation and teaching.
2 Timothy 2:15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.

Fellowship on a regular basis.

Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; 24 and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

PRAYER !!!!!!!!!
Not just an occasional prayer to bless your food but an attitude of constant prayer which is our fellowship with him.

1 Thessalonians 5:15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. 16 Rejoice always; 17 pray without ceasing; 18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Finally,  meditate on Gods word.

Psalm 119:11 Your word I have treasured ( Hidden), in my heart, That I may not sin against You.

  12 Blessed are You, O LORD; Teach me Your statutes.

  13 With my lips I have told of All the ordinances of Your mouth.

  14 I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies, As much as in all riches.

  15 I will meditate on Your precepts And regard Your ways.

  16 I shall delight in Your statutes; I shall not forget Your word.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.


Standing water eventually turns green.  We must learn spiritual breathing.  Find a good church to learn the word  and fellowship at and then get out and start sharing your faith with others that there is a hope beyond this present realm.

You can only be saved once...and that's all it takes. What you have to understand first is two things: we are saved by faith, nothing else, and that once we are saved, we can't screw it up, because we are born-again and given a new nature  (Romans 7:13-25, Galatians 5:17, 1 Corinthians 15:45-49).  





What you sound like you want is to be a good disciple, which is a good thing; to do that,  you follow after your new nature (Romans 8, Galatians 5:22-25) and nor the old one (Romans 6, Galatians 5:19-21). In fact all the epistles are essentially about how we should deny the old nature and follow the new. Once I understood this, I stopped worrying about every littel thing I did wrong and could rest in Christ (Matthew 11:28-30).





Clearer teaching on this:





 

OP, I'm sorry for your struggles, I know how painful it can be.  

I wish someone had told me a long time ago about "spiritual consolations."  In the life of faith, sometimes the Holy Spirit gives us spiritual consolations, which usually consist of feelings ranging from mild peace and hope all the way to complete ecstasy and overwhelming feelings of perfect love for God and neighbor.  I think of this like God the Father giving His child a hug and some loving, encouraging words.

God, like any father, wouldn't be doing a very good job if everything was hugs and ice cream 24/7.  Sometimes a Father has to step back and see how the child does on their own.  To the child it is very hard and feels like the father has left, even though he is still watching and waiting to see how the child will do on their own.  This is the reasoning why God only gives us spiritual consolations some of the time, and other times pulls back and takes the training wheels off.  

Faith is not fueled by emotion.  Loving and serving God must go on when the warm and fuzzies aren't there.  This is hard work and is our duty.  

Mother Theresa spent most of her adult life feeling nothing, feeling alone and abandoned by God, yet she persevered for decades offering the greatest service to God and never wavering.  This is a more extreme case but it does happen and has happened to many saints.

OP, you say you believe that Jesus was real and the gospels are true.  Pull your sorry butt off the ground and get to work!  What is your daily prayer schedule?  Do you not have one?  Start by praying when you wake up in the morning and before you go to bed, every time, no exceptions.  Do you go to Church every Sunday and pay homage to your Creator?  No excuses, go every Sunday, make it a priority.  You have a part to play.  God will do his part for you, don't even ask when.  Pray, hope, and don't worry.

The poster above me is correct about how the Holy Spirit works in a believers heart. I've experienced it myself.

Here are some scriptures. Read His word. Keep it in your heart brother.  And above all pray. Pray. And pray some more. Pour out your heart to God.

Psalm 34:17-18  “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted  and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 9:9-10  “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

Joshua 1:9  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10  “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Romans 5:3-5  “ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

Romans 8:18  “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

Thought this might apply here, yesterdays Greg Laurie devotional.

Shipwrecked Faith

Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked.

—1 Timothy 1:19

All of us hope for clear sailing in the sea of life. But there are storms that come our way, and there are shipwrecks that we will encounter. We will have things happen in our lives that don't make sense.

The apostle Paul went through three literal shipwrecks during his lifetime (see 2 Corinthians 11:25). Now, that would cure you of ocean travel. But Paul also wrote about people who had their faith shipwrecked. In his epistle to Timothy, he warned, "Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked. Hymenaeus and Alexander are two examples . . ." (1 Timothy 1:19–20).

Some people have had their faith shipwrecked. I have seen it happen. Sometimes when people are facing a tragedy, they say, "I've lost my faith through this."

But let me say in response that maybe they didn't have real faith to begin with, because the faith that cannot be tested is the faith that cannot be trusted. The Bible says that "when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow" (James 1:3).

If your faith can't stand a test, then it is not real faith—and quite frankly, I am glad you lost it. Get rid of it, and replace it with real faith in a real God. When Christians go through a time of crisis, our faith should not be destroyed. We should not lose it. Instead, our faith should grow stronger because we are clinging to the Lord through all of it.

A storm is coming—maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, maybe not for a month, maybe not for a year. But a storm will come eventually. So be prepared for it.

Steer clear of Laurie, he's gone off the deep end theologically and now subs for Rick Warren at Saddleback when Warren is off cashing his checks from telling people that Allah and God are the same thing. And this is coming from someone who worked at a Harvest Crusade.





Here, Laurie is inserting his own meaning to "shipwrecked" as if to say that if a ship runs into something then it was never a ship to begin with, which is ridiculous.





And James 1:3 actually says, "Knowing that the trying of your faith worketh patience", he's trying to cite the New Living Translation, which isn't a translation, but a paraphrase, and has interpretation written into it. Even then, it doesn't say "will grow", which he's trying to make it say.