IANAL. My understanding is ERISA rules require 401k plan documents to be distributed to employees, and the vesting rules should have been covered in detail within them. You're saying you never received any 401k plan documentation? Was it all online and impossible to find? Companies usually outsource 401k plan handling to a financial services company. Some are excellent (e.g., Fidelity), some are a complete joke (no comment). I would suggest talking to a lawyer about your situation. Yes, I would be ticked off too.

Of course a paper has to be signed to release the funds, they can't transfer money based on a phone call with a stranger. She will have to sign a distribution form, you will also have to sign it (spousal consent is required - it's technically your money, too) and you'll probably even have to get it notarized.

Everything you described down to the $50 fee is actually completely standard EXCEPT for the "not notifying your wife" part. Companies are required to give a Summary Plan Description to each participant upon enrollment which covers eligibility, vesting, etc. I would normally guess that your wife put away the info and forgot about it, but I believe many smaller companies do manage to "overlook" that responsibility - not maliciously in 99% of cases.

If you hate the company and don't mind burning bridges, you could potentially cause problems for them by reporting them to the Dept. of Labor. However, keep in mind that this will NOT change the vesting on the employer contributions or the $50 fee. It won't get your wife a penny more. So unless you believe the vesting was calculated wrongly according to the terms of the plan, I would just chalk it up to experience and be sure to get all the info about future employer plans. If you do want to take action against her former employer, I would wait until after the money is transferred because the trustee of the plan also has to sign off on the transfer.

I'm curious - your wife did get statements (at least quarterly) from John Hancock? Those should have had contact info and also a breakdown of the amount your wife contributed (if any, always 100% vested) and the amount her employer contributed along with the % and amount vested.

I don't mean to sound harsh - there is no good excuse for an employer not to give all the Plan's info up front but... my main concern would be making sure the balance and vesting are correct (under the provisions of the plan which must be applied to all participants) and just move on. If you still want to give them trouble, like I said there's the DOL...