Alright, I need to learn SQL. My programming experience consists of a Basic class in my sophomore year of high school 17 years ago. Any suggestions?

Queries are interesting and fun. Sometimes very frustrating. What technology will you be using? SQL is a standard, but there are subtle differences between Oracle and MS SQL Server, and DB2, etc.

Begin by understanding that SQL is a set-oriented language, meaning that well designed queries do operations on sets of data.  If you approach it with a procedural (row-by-row) mindset that languages such as BASIC use, you will be in for an uphill battle.  The good news is that the majority of things that you'll want to do can be done with very little syntax.  There aren't a million commands and keywords to learn, rather it has a straightforward and fairly intuitive structure.

Once you get the basics of the language mastered, start learning about the mechanics of how indexes work and how the storage engine operates.  That will grow your effectiveness.  Next, concentrate on learning sound data architecture principles.

Being successful with SQL requires a different mindset than most procedural or object-oriented programmers have.  That's why the most horrid abominations in the database world come from well-established application programmers.  

There are two parts to this you need to learn.

Firstly, you need to learn database structure and design.  The constructs that hold the data, and how you store the pieces of data themselves.

Secondly is actually the SQL (structured query language, you have to have something to query first).  You really need to have at least a good basic understanding of the first part before embarking on this part.

You can get free versions of both SQL Server and MySQL.  Not sure about Oracle, but in any case Larry Ellison can blow me.

https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/sql-server/sql-server-editions-express

https://www.mysql.com/downloads/

There are plentiful examples and tutorials online.

Start with YouTube videos. 

I guess it depends on what you are doing and why you are learning it.

for instance as QA, I need to run queries a lot.
But usually the are the same one's all the time. I just need to mod them for the data I want.
So I as the db guys to gve the base ones to me.
Then I can modify them based on cheat sheets like this.
http://www.cheat-sheets.org/sites/sql.su/

so you understand what each query means and what parts are changable vs the part that is the query language.

If on the other hand you are getting into db dev work then the advice above is a good idea, but way more than I usually need.

Do you need to "just learn SQL", or are you designing/spec'ing an application?

I read the second edition of this book, it really helped me start thinking in a relational mindset: Database Design for Mere Mortals https://www.amazon.com/dp/0321884493/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdb_dKCOyb9PQFQNH?tag=vglnk-c102-20

After that there are a ton of examples and tutorials for PostGres, mySQL, etc.