So this will be my thread in which I describe the in's and out's of figuring out lifting with T1DM.

This was the program that I was starting when I got diagnosed with this.

Day 1 (A1/B1)
Pecs/Biceps

Day 2 (A2/B2)
Quads/Tri's

Day 3 (A3/B3)
Back/Calves

Day 4 (A4/B4)
Hams/Delts

"A" days are heavy main lift days for strength
"B" days are more focused on Hypertrophy rep range

A1
Flat Press 5x5
Inclined 5x5
--------------
Dips
Ez-Bar curls
Hammer Curl

A2
Squats 5x5
Front Squat 5x5
---------------
Leg Ext
French Press
Overhead ext

A3
Deadlifts 5x5
Rows 5x5
--------------
Pullups
Shrugs
Calf Raises

A4
Front Press 5x5
RDL's 5x5
-------------
Side Lats
Leg Curls
Rear Lats

"B" 1-4
Same exercises but 4x10-15 reps

Week 1
A1/B2/A3/B4

Week 2
B1/A2/B3/A4

alternate weekly

This first month or so will be getting used to the weight again, seeing how the exertion effects my sugars during and after workouts and how it effects my insulin needs. But since I won't be lifting heavy for a month or so I don't know how dramatic this will be at first.

My concern is how it will effect my A1c but seeing how I know I can keep it normal as I am 5.2% right now, I think I can actually keep it in the upper 4% range with my current diet and insulin regiment.

I already know that any cardio will drop me. Happened  again yesterday swimming with the boys.




ETA: A little update, I thought I should add in some of my history so anyone looking at this knows where I am coming from experience wise.

Played soccer as a kid, played baseball and football in Jr High and baseball in HS. Around the age of 10 I started to "train" for running events in 5th grade and then pretty much sprinted all day playing football non stop, was always one of the top 3 fasted kids from 5th grade through HS.

Also around the age 10 my mom started to lift weights, and so did it. Did that off and on till I was 14 when I started lifting with purpose of bodybuilding and military service. I bounced between aspirations of being a Marine and then a SEAL. So in conjunction with lifting I added more running, and tons of PT and swimming. Swimming between 1-2 hours a day, even through the winter months where the water temp would hit 62-65 degrees. (only 1 hour on those nights).

At 17 I was at MEPS on my 17th birthday and had a ship date of 4 months later. I was graced with some over use injuries in that time and totally fucked myself up prior to shipping out but fuck that, I had a goal to obtain. I never did, a few senior enlisted lies and a few injuries here an there I never made it to BUD/s (ITBS at age 19 that still effects me to this day and I can not maintain a running routine). But all throughout the my 5 years in the Navy I was either PT'ing my ass off or bodybuilding, hitting 220lbs at times with BB'ing but mostly hung around the 180-190 range when PT'ing.

I did get my PT scores pretty tight before the ITBS (which bytheway also stands for I Tried Bud/S...)
500 yard CSS was between 9-10 minutes
Pushups were 75-85
Situps were 75-85
Pullups were 12-15
1.5 mile run was down to 9:30 minutes just prior to the ITBS and 10:30 after... SOB's

Either way, I maintained and improved on those numbers for years after getting out of the Navy.

At one point I got into Bicycle racing and trained and raced for 3 years, went down to 162lbs at one point but after a summer working construction I was at 172 and stuck there. Was a pretty good Time Trialist and could do a 40k in under 1 hour.

Then I got tired of being skinny and bulked back up. Using my beloved Heavy Duty HIT training from Mike Mentzer I went from 172 lbs to 216lbs in a 4 or 5 month period.

That was 2006 time frame IIRC. Since then I was either PT'ing, bodybuilding or doing hybrids of the two and a bit of Crossfit here and there which worked in conjunction with my injuries. I guess I should also add that I have done an ton of plyometrics dating all the way back to my Navy days using the picnic table and benches at Portsmouth shipyards.

Around 2008 I finished up school and had to work night for about 16 months, my working out went to shit, I did a very lame and inconsistent maintenance routine that wasn't much of a routine.

When I finally got back to days I started to get back into it eventually getting back into peak condition around the age of 32 I got hurt at work and required a bilateral ingunial  hernia repair. That put me out for 6 months. Then I started up again with the PT, shortly there after I started to lift again to bulk back up. Using Heavy Duty HIT again I went from about 195 to 215 in 6 weeks. Then I fucked up my wrist being stupid.

Took some like 4 weeks off, started to ride my bike again (see The Official Ride your Bike thread) but after about a month of that my wrist we not getting any better so I took off another few weeks. Then I talked to RoG about some Crossfit programming to get more serious about it and I did for about a month or so and then my wrist were starting to ache when not working out, so I stopped.

I took another 6 months off.

Started up again but during that time I just started to feel wore out all the time. I contributed it getting up at 5 am to draw without the kids up. Had no energy and when I did start working out, had a very hard time completing my workouts, which were feeling way too hard...

Then I went to Disneyland and well... it gave me Diabetes... Go fucking figure...

Got back from there, my eyes went blurry and I went to work (RN) and checked my BS at my wife's urging... fucking 407...

That was at the end of February of this year and now here we are, I am now 34 and have been working out since I was 10 years old...



And now I have to do it with DM

Oh and as far as diet, the last 3 years have been a fairly Paleo/Primal and haven't drank soda in about 5 years...

And 1 day down

Starting BS- 91

Flat press 3x5
almost heavy...

BS- 92

EzBar Curls 3x10
almost heavy
BS- 101

20 minutes post workout BS- 104
Lunch with 1 of lispro

For post meals I think I will be relegated to eating hard boiled egg whites... I can't drink protein drink as for whatever reason it was shooting my BS up 150! Too many carbs in that MetRx I got on the self so I will just go with egg whites...

So now I will have to see what happens the rest of the day with my BS. It may be fine or it could trend up or I could have some lows... fuck if I know.

But since I do produce some of my own insulin still I may produce enough to cover my lifting BS increase. I'll have a better idea when I am doing full workouts and heavy weights. If anything I may very well have to bolus a small amount of fast acting prior to lifting. Time will tell...

For now I am not going to try and increase my calorie intake, just a post workout meal and that will be it. I will mostly be lifting after lunch with my kids.

Well that's it for now...

Time to get back to normal, fucking diabetes.... all from a virus (at least that's what the research is starting to show...)

Oh and as a side note, I still look pretty good (lost a touch of fat but my weight has stayed about 195lbs). I can't believe I haven't been able to lift or workout consistently for about 2 years! Ever since that damn surgery I have been fighting off one thing after another and just as I start, fucking Beetus....

It's been about 5 months since I got diagnosed. Fixed my A1c and have been straight paleo/primal ever since. I had been doing it for the last few years anyway but I cheated a few times a week...

Well no more cheating, the only times I have cheated has been if I was low, maybe a piece of chocolate here to correct the low.

But not any more, I am using the glucose tabs, I did the test yesterday.

Was 58 after swimming with the boys, (figured lunch would keep me up but it didn't) so I took 2 tabs. Went up to 51 points. So that the math on that is 2 tabs (8g of sugar) = 51 point rise or 1g of sugar = ~6 point rise in BS. That is how to stay on target, I set mine for 87... not because of ARF but because that is what my previous fasting BS has always been. My goal after meals is under 110 and I try to never go above that even after 1 hour post eating as that is where some damage starts to occur.

Ok, enough for today, time to track my sugars the rest of the day...

B2
Starting BS- 81 after a 1/2 tab
Squats - 3x10 (135lbs)
BS- 92
French press- 3x10 (63lbs)
BS 98

Done for the day, recovery was 6 hardboiled eegs, 3 full, 3 whites and a glass of water.

Yesterday I did end up dropping lower then expected about 5 hours after I worked out and ate lunch.

My over night BS were good, went to bed at 100, 0200 was 93 and I woke up at 95.

If what I am noticing already is my bolus dose insulin requirements seem to be less then usual at the moment. It's only been a day of course so we will se if this trends to be true....

But it felt really good to get under the bar again, love some squats.

I am not sure if I will be able to gain a ton of weight but I am going to up my BCAA's (and probably some HMB) through out the day to help as I just may not be able to get the calories I need to really gain the weight like I used to. But if I respond to this like I do everything else in my life.... maybe get my weight back up in the 210 range

But honestly I am finally in this just for health, for once in my life, just health.

Hey, so a while back my PCP (who I believe is full of shit) was saying "new" studies to fish oils caps to be leading to increased heart disease? I figure like most everything he has told me it's based off of faulty studies and ends up in his newsletters/journals.

B3
BS was 71 before starting, took 1/2 a tab of sugar... I am finding that I am needing less insulin all around so far. I even took less long acting and short acting this morning and last night.

Starting BS was 94
Rows- 3x10 (95lbs)
BS- 79 (1/2 tab) odd that it went down, it has been going up the past 2 days
Calf raises- 3x10 (135)
BS- 95

recovered with 3hb eggs and 3 hb eggs whites and some bcaa's

I am debating as to wether or not I will take any long acting tonight. I was 67 at 0300 and had to take a tab of sugar. Was 101 going to bed. Typically I go up at night a bit and come back down. I've even been taking less long acting insulin then I was at night.

Interesting it is but all in all, fuck DM....

I will keep up with 1 exercise per muscle group until I am no longer sore and doing more weight. Then after that I will add in one exercise at a time to track sugars and duration of the workouts and see if certain exercises have more or less effect on BS's.

I'm getting ready to start lifting as a Type 2 diabetic.  I know that's a whole other (and much simpler) ballgame than exercising with Type 1.  

Do you have Dr. Bernstein's book?  If you aren't familiar with him, he's an 80+ year old type 1 diabetic who left engineering to go to med school when he realized his diabetes doctor was full of shit.  He became an MD and specializes in diabetes.  Supposedly, he's complication free into his 80's.  His book is very in-depth and gets rave reviews from people who have read it and implement it.

Yes sir and I'm on his forum as well.

I tell every person with diabetes about it. Truly a God send he and his book are.

Though I have started easy, I am pretty sore all around. So even though I have one more day on the first week block I am gonna take the next few days off and repair and recover.

So far my insulin needs have dropped a touch, I will see if that holds out. I needs are fairly minimal as is simple due the fact that I AM very insulin sensitive and still produce a small amount of my own insulin.

Plus I turn 34 tomorrow... let me tell ya, years 32 and 33 sucked....

I sincerely hope 34 is better then the last few and hope none of you are ever afflicted with the DM...

That means you are not type 1.





And your insulin needs should drop some due to exercise.  
 

No I am a type 1 or if you like a 1.5... LADA is another name. My antibodies were extremely positive. But it looks as though you don't know the difference in the types or how they are diagnosed. Plus many type ones can maintain some degree of there own insulin production is they go to a low carb diet and avoid burning out what remaining Beta cells they have. Maybe you should read Dr. Bernstein book on diabetes before you say stupid shit...

I am not a type 2

Seeing how you know so much, my C Peptide was extremely low, I think 1 in a range of 1-5 meaning I produce very little but my antibody was greater then 250 in a scale that only goes to 250 and my blood sugar at diagnosis was fucking 407... Type 1 (look up your labs and educate yourself). But if you would like you can try to convince my pancreas, my endo and my DM NP that I am not really a type 1...

Well, which is it?
 

http://www.diabetesforecast.org/2010/may/the-other-diabetes-lada-or-type-1-5.html

Ok so you're one of "those" people, just can't stand to be wrong... Well there is a chart for you. The line between T1 and T1.5 is a grey one but I fit the T1 (because I am a T1...) model but some may still  say T1.5 depending on what they last read. So I just group them as to not confuse the ill informed as they are typically don't even know the difference between T1 and T2.

Or you just as lost as the docs that wanted to call me a T2 because all they looked at was my low normal c peptide even though I fit not a single presentation of T2 and wanted to send me with fucking metformin

And I work with all of them... Was pretty disappointed let me tell ya...

So you gonna try to spin it some more so you can still try and be right

ETA: no to have been a dick but that was fucking stupid

 

Taking another spin at it?



 

Ok bud...stop mucking up my thread unless you got something worth while other then stupid shit...
But please educate us all if you are so smart in the world of DM? Please diagnosis me, you have more then enough information to make a pretty solid one, other then me being and asshole when confronted with dumb ass comments.

ETA: again, I really didn't mean to blow up but seriously.... How is someone gonna try and tell me what kind of DM I have when the very first statement just shows little understanding of the disease.

Ya think I didn't read all your other posts?  You've had it for a whopping 5 months, I've been in multiple studies that have lasted longer than that.  It was easy to know you had 1.5,  I just didn't quote everything you posted in various posts and probably should have posted that it sound more like 1.5.  And yes, you did mean to come off as a complete ass because someone read what you posted, who has a vastly longer history and understanding of the disease and made a point which in the next post you confirmed.  But I will admit I am wrong because the the Expert Committee hasn't excepted LADA as a classification yet, but with up to 50% of TYPE2 DM cases now believed to be LADA it shouldn't be long.



I suggest you get your kinds tested.






 

I know I came off as an ass and I figured you also had it. Believe me I wish I didn't have it but to tell me I am not what I am is an asshole move. You must understand
As well as anyone how many people don't even know the difference between T1 and T2 let alone T1.5. Why I just group it.

But I will say, and I don't say it often, I apologize for being an asshole, you just pushed a button and it got me.

Wether or not it's T1 or T1.5 it doesn't really matter, I'm insulin dependent from the time I was diagnosed.

And I agreed that the bulk of T2 is early diagnosed T1.5 and they are completely mistreated. I see then getting amputations at least a few times a month.

Sorry I was an asshole. Good luck with your DM, hope you keep it well controlled and don't listen to the assholes that say you can't keep normal sugars.

But you do know T1's can maintain some beta cell function if diet changes are made early before they get overwhelmed. I'll take Dr. Bernstein's word on that one.

Nope doesn't matter, and like I said, I forgot how easy it was to get angry over it back in the day.





BTW, you probably already knew this, but you're glucose will go up sometimes when you lift/exercise because your liver releases more of it.  





And don't beat your self up trying to keep post meal levels less than 110, normal people go a high as 140.





I apologize for being an ass too.  We must stick together.





 

There is a massive thread on BodyBuilding.com, I read that a while back. Helped me expect a lot of what I am seeing. Thanks for understanding

Agreed

A4

Starting BS- 86

Front press 3x10 (65lbs)

BS- 84

RDL's 3x10 (135lbs)

BS- 90

3 HB eggs / 3 HB egg whites

RDL's felt real good, love those, my ass cheeks damn near felt like they were gonna cramp haha

First full week done. Start over tomorrow.

Starting BS- 94

Flat Bench- 3x10 (95/135/135)
BS- 94

Ezbar Curl- 3x10 (63)
BS- 96

3hb eggs / 3 hb egg whites

I am weak... but slowly it will all come back

My BS's seem to stay very stable with weight so far, hb eggs don't seem to budge my BS post workout. My insulin requirements for fast acting is slightly less the days I lift. I a keeping my long acting the same right now. I adjusted it last week and found that I was trending up before bed and waking up a little higher then I wanted and going higher in the night then I wanted as well. So I am back to 22 in the AM and 3 at night. This keeps me pretty steady.

I can already see a little improvement in appearance too, but like I said, just from diet (and a massive history of PT'ing) I never looked like I wasn't working out


So assuming all stays well I am gonna work on those goals I set last year when I injured my wrist etc etc,

I don't remember them for sure so I will just say (and I am being conservative and modest):
In 1 years time
Flat Bench: 250lbs
Squat: 300lbs
Deadlift: 350lbs
Front Press: 200lbs
Front Squat: 250lbs
RDL: 300lbs

Set

Type 1 for going on 30 years.



Tagscribe for learnins

Also check out that bodybuilding dot com thread I linked. Tons of good info in that, lots of smart guys over there with type 1. Most seem to be on pumps now. Pumps freak me out still.

Also if you haven't heard if Dr. Bernstein look him up and his "Diabetes Solution" book.

+1 on pumps freaking me out.



No pump for me, I still do shots.  



Will read the link and check out the book, thanks.

The pump is great when combined with a CGM.  But if you can keep your glucose under control with shots, I would stick with that.  There are pros and cons to both, I can tell you from experience.



Just remember, the longer you have diabetes the longer it takes to detect lows.





Have you done any real athletic/cardo stuff like running or hikes?

No I haven't, I would want a cgm for anything like that.

A friend of mine was diagnosed a few months before me and went straight to the pump.

Dr. B's book covers some of that, basically you need to know how much 1g of sugar will raise your BS but the general gist of it is to take a 1/2 tab of Dex4 at the start and a 1/2 tab every 15 minutes while doing cardio. Doing full on cardio isn't on my list of things to figure out just yet personally.

Minus solid bedroom acrobatics and all...

I have and still play full lacrosse and baseball games with out doing any of that.  And you don't need a CMG to go on a mile hike or do cardio around your house.  You will know when you are getting low.





 

Yeah, I found out running around the back yard with the lawn mower last week

Fuck, I had an unexpected low this morning, 40!

Meter said I was 125 when I got up, so my usual everything. I guess I felt off getting into the car and my vision was off. Like I see some white here and there and was a little lightheaded and drenched in sweat... I pulled over and checked, fucking 40. Slammed 2 tabs and told work I'd be late. After 15 minutes I was still low, 67. 2 tabs should have taken my up to about 90'ish. Took another tab and headed home. Work told me to take care of myself. Feel like an ass for missing work today. If I'm stable in the next few hours I'll call them up and see if they want me to come in. Finally up to 90 after 3 tabs and 45 minutes later.

Popped some extra potassium and ate a little. Calves are cramping (always know if I'm trending low if I start cramping), back of my knees hurt and I got a headache... Never want to be that low again.

No idea why unless my meter was wrong or I swapped insulins but I swear I didn't...

Well I think I figured it out. My meter read me as being higher then I really was this morning and I dosed for that and I fucking OD'ed on my insulin due to it...

I figured it out this afternoon when I was doing some Q1 checks after lunch, 1 hour post was 114, 2 hours post read 136 WTF! I checked again, 118? I took out my back up meter and then proceeded to do 3 checked with both meters with the same blood samples... Yeah, 113... was the average...

NOT 136...

So I think that is what happened this morning...

I am tossing that old meter and using my backup and will get a new backup tomorrow... fucking bullshit

Took into the afternoon to start feeling normal again

What meter?  They do have an accuracy range.  Look at the calibration bottles they send with them.  The have a pretty big range for them to be within specs.  Mine for the hi solution is 117 - 146.  So, IMO, there is nothing wrong with that meter.  I can test the same blood on any of my three, same brand, same model, and get three different readings.  Just the way it is.





So you were 125...did you shoot insulin?  what type of Insulin?



I suggest you use juice to bring you back up.  IMO, works faster.  I used OJ ones that didn't need to be refrigerated, but I hated the little straws into the box.  I moved onto the little dole pineapple cans.



Hate to tell you, you'll hit 40 again...we all do.

One touch verio iq

Med range 102-138 I think control is usually 120's

Said I was 125. At 125 on a work day is 3-3.5 of lispro. That will usually take me to right around 100.

This morning I was 135/140/135 (went to bed at 115... I hate DP, no cramps so I know I didn't go low) I checked a bunch cuz of yesterday and went 1 unit less. Now I plan on being higher after breakfast now and will probably have to correct at work which happens sometimes. Stress from work causes me to be a little higher then non work days.

Yesterday got me, got depressed

Still down

Hey buddy,



Don't worry about it.  I know it's hard, but there are worse things in life to be afflicted with.  





Reading this thread, you seem to try to keep yourself at around 100?  
 





 

Yeah I float 80-110. I got it pretty dialed in too. Why yesterday was so out of left field. Today seems back to normal. I took 2.5 of lispro figuring it would end up being higher 2 hours post breakfast and it was, 127 to I gave another unit. I'll see where I am at lunch but odds are, 100-110 but today is a little stressful.

But for the most part yeah. I can keep it between 80 and 110 with few lows. Last low I had was a 67 a few weeks ago...

There's tight control and then there's too tight of control.  IMHO, targeting 80 is too low when on insulin because being so easy to drop in a few minutes to a dangerous low, especially when on a fast acting insulin. Being at 127 is fine for a diabetic. So if you are at say 120 in the AM, just shoot up for what you are eating for breakfast and see how you react to that.  Also, being a bit looser with the control regiment helped me get over being bummed out over having the beetus.  Feel less controlled by it.  YMMV,  just a thought.
 

That's what I did, just my normal for breakfast. But I base that on what my pre meal sugar is. I don't go for 80 as a post meal but for where I want to be close to 5-7 hours later. Like today with lunch, I was 96 I think, for my lunch I took 2 units of lispro, 2 hours post I was 104, right around where i wanted. So 6 hours later I'll be in the 80's-90's by dinner.

I really was just super surprised with how fast it dropped yesterday. I figure I was probably closer to 90 at breakfast yesterday and that would have been like 2 less units!

I like tighter control and have really started to hone in on my target without going low. Why yesterday was so out of the blue

Appreciate your insight though

A2

Starting BS 96

Squats- 3x10 (95/135/135)
BS 107

French Press 3x10 (33/63/63)
BS 105

3 HB eggs / 3 HB egg whites

My sugars have been back to normal since the other day. I wanted to do another set of squats but held off, only my second week cycle and I am reminding myself that I can't go overboard.

I had a horrible case o the DOMS, hurt like a motherfucker. I even held back and did what I thought was a very modest RDL weight and all... boy was I wrong. Took a week for my hams to not hurt to the touch...

OK, back again.

Got super sore from my squat workout, was kinda surprised. All in the quads though so at least that was a good, very painful but good nonetheless.

This morning I woke up higher then I wanted, 129 , took 1.5u with my coffee and an hour later no change. Did 2u's with breakfast and it came down to 116 so I did another .5u's to finally get it back down below 100.

Starting BS- 85 (took some BCAA's)

Rows 3x10 (95/95/115)

BS- 86

Calf raises 3x10 (135)

BS- 93

3 HB eggs (BCAA's)

OK, that's it for now. I know I am only on my second cycle but I just want the extreme soreness to stop on the legs. I honestly still don't have a ton of motivation to lift but I have to, no question. It's for pure health and though I do like looking big, mean and strong I'd rather be spending that time working on other stuff. But I always remind myself that if I want to be working on that "other" stuff later in life I need to take care of myself now more so then ever and that alone is motivation enough.

Fuck you Beetus

ETA: I updated my OP with a little history.

Not dead.

My wrist were bothering me and was busy with kids and stuff and didn't have much time and then the wrist issue.

I've had those scary lows a few more times and through some research I've narrowed it down to rapid absorption of my lantus. Odd right, but I've found multiple accounts of it and mimicked my scenario exactly. Was also confirmed by another posters endo over on Dr. Bernstein's forum.

Injecting into a capillary bed with lantus is bad news...

Getting a CGM to try out now. Don't really want it but an curious as to see more precisely what happens at night. Though I've tested  through the night enough to know what typically happens.

pl        


When do you take the lantus?



What CGC?



 

Always happened with 20-30 minutes of taking my morning lantus, has happened 4 times always in the morning shortly after waking up. Only other explanation would be my own insulin production Spurting out unregulated... But I've found more likely rapid absorption of lantus. Have read multiple accounts of long time T1's switching to lantus and all of a sudden having severe lows after injecting.

CGM will be a Dexcom Platinum. Got the sensor placed but it was bad and went back and they removed it. Rep will come to my work tomorrow and start it again.

Never had that problem with Lantus.  



Never heard of that CGM.  My MIniMEd is way more accurate than the old one I stopped using because of being so inaccurate.   So don't be surprised if you are low and the CGM says you are fine.



 

Yeah, I set the alarms fairly low and fairly high just so I could avoid false reads. But... The sensor was not working, a bad unit of something so I didn't even get to try it out. The rep is gonna come by my work tomorrow and try again.

Dexcom G4 Platinum, it is suppose to be the most accurate CGM out right now from my understanding. We shall see...

Not sure about this CGM...

Already reading lows when I wasn't... I guess it takes a few days for it to adjust to my sugars and meter. Seems like I may have already added too many calibrations too it but when it read me as 50 3  hours after starting it I was already annoyed as I was expecting it to do that.

So I've been very impressed since it got calibrated. It's been with in 10 of my meter every time and sometimes within 2...

Got a new meter, a Freestyle Freedom Lite. Suppose to be the most accurate. I bounced a few numbers off of my One Touch IQ. The FFL read lower then the IQ, by 15-20 points...

Had another A1c drawn today, we shall see. I get nervous from these now. I want to know what it says but I'm always worried it might be higher then I want. The CGM test went well, no spikes at all and what is happening at night is what I suspected with my random checks. A few hours after falling asleep I raise up a bit and then trend back down. I could stand to increase my night lantus most likely but will hold off just yet.

Oh, and cuz I just filled some strips I have to wait a week to get my new strips for the FFL.

My wrist are feeling a touch better, will get back to the iron soon

Last A1c 5%...

Freaks my endo out lol