Guinea story...
So...uxb and I....we rented in a little "four-in-a box" house just outside of town when we were first married. Rent was about $100 a month. No lie. Owner had blue-ribbon cattle running around, and wanted somebody who knew how to shut the gate and call him if there was an issue. That would be me. (Uxb was a city boy turned spec ops.)
It was the Disneyworld of farms. White barns, black fences, cute Jersey cattle roaming the fields. (This was the dry cows. The dairy was a few miles away near the owner's home.) Every weekend the owner would load up some heifers, haul the off, and come back a few days later with a bunch of blue ribbons attached to halters.
He had a big flock of guineas.
So...they got into this pattern.
They'd come by the bedroom window about 5 in the morning, and raise a ruckus. (Doesn't take much. Guinea fowl raise a ruckus if a gnat flies across the yard.)
Uxb was working at a hospital and on call a lot. We were both tired. Five in the morning on a Saturday was NOT a good time to wake us up.
Keep in mind, there were no other houses in sight. This little rent house was in the middle of the green fields of the farm, and about 200 yards off the road. We had no curtains because we didn't need curtains. There was nobody to see in the house.
So here we are, in bed, snoozing on a Saturday morning.
Uxb was...ahem..well....sleeping in his birthday suit.
Here come the guineas for about the fifth day in a row, and he was well and truly done with that racket.
He jumps out of bed, grabs his pillow, and runs through the house and out the front door and into the yard, buck nekkid, waving the pillow at the guineas, scattering them all over, yelling "Aaaaahhhhh!!!! Shut the F*** up already!!!"
At that exact moment, a helicopter flew across the field directly in front of him, about a hundred yards off the ground.
Uxb could see the shocked face of the pilot.
Yeah.
Guineas make a lot of noise.