As simple as this sounds, its quite profound.

A one hour commute in city traffic and a one hour commute on a highway is still one hour.  

Work is where we go to and home is where our peace of mind is.

Tj

It can be done, plenty of employers in rural areas. Yes a similar job may pass less, but you also won't be getting screwed on your expenses like your apartment. Around here a newer full size house rents for $500. maybe less. That's $1100. less per month you have to make right there.

Commuting is definitely an option.

Sometimes people hold on to jobs as a "lifeline" and tolerate a lot of BS in doing so, then they are cut not long after that. I can think of two people I know that went through that. I saw the warning signs and wanted to say "dude, they are fixing to let you go" but instead said "sounds like they are crapping on you left and right, be looking for another job." Both ended up having to leave the jobs. So sometimes the "I have to have it" lifeline isn't really as strong as you think it is.

Yet most people are unwilling to change until the pain of not changing becomes more than the "pain" of changing.

Search for a rural place, keep your tech job in the city. Find something you like within a few hours max. Buy it and go there on the weekends, slowly building a place (maybe paying cash as you go to avoid debt) and make that your new weekend hobby. Within a few years you'll have a nice place going, know the area a bit, etc.

We spent about 4 years working on the land and house on weekends before moving here full time. I moved our business up here at a time when that industry was mega slow. I started another local business as well to supplement income, did small jobs for people here and there, and lived frugally the first couple years. Not having a mortgage or a lot of expenses helped considerably.

Just wanted to tell you a story which is applicable.

Tj Story Time "Texas"

When I got out of the Army and after what I had been through, I couldn't wait to move home to only discover every reason why I left in the first place was still there.   Armed with now with experience and the work ethic of a soldier, I got a job with this engineering contractor.  Very quickly I was promoted and soon managed an entire team.  I solved problems nobody else could and the owner of the company was so pleased he even took me to dinner in his airplane.  Come annual review time, the praises flowed like water, BUT then he gave a whopping 25 cent an hour raise.  Yep, made the company tens of thousands and I got quarter on the hour and a gas pump attendant, way more fun job, made as much as I did, let alone a gas station manager.  

I and my wife were very young living in one side of a rented duplex so from that day I started saving money.  I found another couple as crazy as us to share the expense of a rental truck and a few months later loaded everything I owned into a Uhaul moved 1,500 miles way to a city I didn't know a soul.

We had moved to Houston TX.  Though I had lived in TX while the Army, I had spent exactly one night there before I moved there.  Now imagine a minute this was before the internet.  We had a rough idea of what it may cost to live there but basically our PLAN was our budget set how we would live there and our goal a whopping six months then we turn around and go back.  We leased an apartment and started looking for work.  I did a variety of part time things while I continued to look for the job let's say that worked for me.  I found one and though not a great job to start a little under double what I was making.  

We started out living in the heart of things.  Oh man, you talk about culture shock.  It was the exact opposite of what this thread is about.  We went from roll the sidewalks up at 10 PM to open all night, traffic from hell, and crime you would not even believe.  Once I was settled into a job though I could develop a new plan.  Two six month leases later, we moved to the far edge of the big city even had a lake behind the apartment.  My commute multiplied many times by miles but time wise it was only about another ten minutes.  As my career progressed when I became manager I moved the office to where I was and then I moved even farther out and my commute though now miles was 15 minutes just enough time to wolf down a good coffee.  

My company would transfer me three more times to three different states, three different cities, and I didn't really know anyone in any of them.  There was a big difference though.  Now I knew what I wanted better and instead of starting in the heart of the city moved right off the bat to the edge of each one.  One city I disliked so much, we bought property two hours away so far out in the sticks you had to double clutch lightening to get it to strike, put a camper on it, and spent every weekend on it.  (Later family would buy property and we'd improve that land for decades, while I continued to move on.)  

At one point, I was in Chicago, my job there was at an end, and was offered a job in Detroit or one here in TN where I live now.  The correct career path with best long term financial opportunity was Detroit.  Heck because my son had been born, I even found a totally new job in Chicago making more money.  We chose here and now you couldn't drag me from here.  25 years I spent with that company and finally faced with either take a major pay cut or move, I took a totally different job to stay here.  That was 12 years ago and now the big plan is to retire in the next 2-3 years and die right here.  I love it here.  There's an abundance of really good people, no crowds really, no crime to speak of, I have privacy, cows across the road, lakes, and mountains.  I could have more money, of course, but I'm an achiever so done better than most.  I don't regret at all I chose here when career path was there.  That's very important at my age for instead of denying myself all this for decades to get an age I can't really enjoy it to achieve it just doesn't seem the wise thing to have done.  Its one of those wipe your forehead, "Damn did I dodge that bullet" things.  

If a person is an achiever in life, I think we all must face the question of "Standard of Living" or "Career Path".  Had I been average Joe that spends his entire life within 11 miles of where he was raised, I probably never would have realized it but even average Joe had the question.  He just doesn't know it.  Though he sees it on TV or even visits it on vacation, it just doesn't sink in that there is something different and people fear change.  Its one of the great ironies in life because change is inevitable whether we pack up and move to a new area or not.  We fight it like it was an invading Army but its a battle in life we can't win because nothing is ever the same.  Every day is a new one.  I think its just damn hard to know what we want sometimes.  Hell I fight that battle even today.  This I can tell you.  If you know what you want, grab onto it because nothing ever is going to stay the same.

Many years ago when I was told I was being transfered this long lanky cowboy type Texan said to me after I told him of my transfer, "I'd rather sell chicken in Texas than Gold in figgen Cleveland Ohio."    You know I didn't think much of it at the time, I don't even remember his name, but I will remember it to my dying day because it was so profound, one of those life truisms.  

You see friend, the question really isn't "how do I?", its "do you want to?" and that's one big question.  The rest is really simple.  Its make a plan, work towards it, and do it.

Tj

This is very similar to how I developed my retreat. Bought the land in 96, dug a pond, started an orchard, fenced most of it. Started building a house paying cash a little at a time as it went up. By mid 99 the house was done and I didn't owe a dime on it. The place was 3 hours away from where I lived so I drove up most weekends, stayed at a relatives place and worked on my place over the weekend driving home Sunday afternoon.

This is why the "I live in FL and want to move to Idaho" types don't always make it. It's too far, too hard to make adjustments, etc.

A closer BOL allows you time to work it, learn the area, get used to how things are there, all the while retaining city work if necessary. I brought my business with me to the woods, but I moved during a massive slump in the industry. So I started another local business after moving. 17 years later they are both doing well, I'm debt free and would never move back to the city for anything.