SO i got meanstreaked at work today.

Went in for court, came out.. "POLICE TO TOW" in 3 inch letters across my POVs windshield, with giant arrows pointing to it from all my windows, and smiley faces with middle fingers on my side mirrors.

Much pain will come of this to the perpetrators, who i have already identified.

Anyone got any suggestions on stuff i can do to their cars and not get fired? I'm thinking gay pride bumper stickers is a good start.

Rainbow stickers are always good.

You need to be subtle though. Use fairly small ones and place them in locations on the rear of the vehicle that won't be easily noticed by the driver/owner. They can be there for months before they ever find them.

One of these...






...attached here....





...should wake him up.

Flour in the air vents with blower set to high.

Package of hot dogs. Hide the hot dogs in various creative places inside the car. Let sit there for a few days/weeks/months til he finds them all.

Success.

Zip tie or a flex cuff on the drive shaft. Click, click, click, click, click,clickclickclciclkclickclickclickclickclickclick.....you get the picture.

We would just do simple things like make a cardboard plate that says "I suck cock" or something just as original and put it over their license plate. Every now and then we'd call the neighboring jurisdiction and give them the heads up if they wanted to have some fun.

Put a mannequin under their POV, in 'their' driveway. Had it done to me.

Skunk sent on the door handles. You can buy it at any sporting goods store... Had it done to me.... had that crap on my hands for over a day, scrubbed with Gojo and Lava. It took bleach to get it off. I put doe in heat in his boots. Every male do in the area was in "LOVE" with him for weeks..... The best was when he got home and it was his dog waking him up going to town on his feet.

Does your state require front and rear plates?

Despite the fact that they're identical, most states only issue stickers for the rear, where they're visible to LEO's behind them.

One of our guys had a license plate made up to look legit at a glance, personalized with I luv dik or something equally gay. Put it over the legit license plate of a few guys and it was literally a week before some of the guys realized they were driving around with it.

ETA: beat by Henny. Guess nothing is ever really new or original.

I was at the jail which is about two blocks away from a bar. We got a call of a fight in the parking lot of the bar and as I cleared the door of the jail, I could hear the fight. As I made my way around the corner to get into my commission, I saw that someone had slid hotdogs lengthwise down all of the antennas on my car. I still had a whip antenna (low band radio), CB antenna, camera and body mic antenna, emergency radio antenna, a cell phone antenna, etc.

I jumped in and made sure to roll up on the fight a little extra hard, showering the participants in hot dogs.

Easiest fight call I've ever had. I did get a little talking to by Squad Daddy later. But like I told him, I didn't put the hot dogs there.

I've had great success with http://www.liquidass.com/

A very convincing looking license plate that said "1GAYCOP" may or may not have happened to a sgt I know once. He may or may not have noticed for a week.

Bag of shrimp. Inside wheel cover or center cap.

Wait.

Fuck that amateur hour stuff. Try a can of sardines, just baaaaaarely cracked open.

Oc the door handles is a good start.

Someone I work with once had a gay stripper show up at patrol lineup on his sgt's birthday. $80 plus a $10 tip to the front desk clerk to let him/her in.

I still think that if the assistant city manager hadn't been there that night he wouldn't have caught a five day rip.

Wait until they go to the printer or something and use their login to send insightful emails to supervisors. Maybe let the Chief know what your thoughts are on the state of things. Send a couple friendly messages to some female officers.

Another option is to wait until they leave the locker unlocked.

If time allows and you know how, hook the horn up to the brake petal.

Liquid ass....

Never get even.

Get ahead

OC the ventilation system and turn the A/C up..

Put the POV on blocks and hide the tires or just put it on blocks just barely off the ground so he can't tell immediately.

Jumper the brake pedal to the siren

-Damien

This maybe the best idea ever! Just ordered the 9 pack! Thank you!

Put on a lower bumper or license plate. Harmless, yet funny as hell.

A similar type incident here resulted in a couple hundred feeder crickets being released in the perpatrators vehicle.

Skunk scent on a cotton ball under the seat. My neighbor had his car toilet papered one night. There was a heavy frost, the TP got soaked and then froze. He had to drive it to work that way. The sun came out and dried the paper out and it stuck to the car.

BBs in the hubcaps.

Write your favorite saying on the reflective striping using a bar of Ivory soap. Better than invisible ink. Also, I've heard, that a tiny bit of finger print dust in the AC vents goes a LONG way and is less obvious than flower.

So many choices!

works the best

you can take the little pieces of paper you get after using a hole punch and put them in the ac blower in the summer. It will remind them of winter

Shrimp works a LOT better. Inside the hubcaps. Just sayin'.

Stay safe

Do they smoke? You reload? Bullseye is invisible when placed in a dirty ashtray.....................fooop!

Put a ladyfinger firecracker inside a smoke and put in in the pack of a buddy to give to a guy who always bummed smokes.

Unfortunately, he lost track of which one it was and gave it to the Chief when he asked for one.

BAM!!!!

<Chief wanders down hallway holding exploded half of cigarette and shaking head> G-d dammit G-d dammit G-d dammit.....

Unfortunately, none of my future victims smokes.

I rost!

That will get you immediately suspended without pay and shortly thereafter terminated here. That violates policy and law here.

Well, has there been retribution?

Soup Kitchen.

Nitro paste on the back side of the door handles.

I have seriously tried hard to ignore this thread and the unprofessional posts contained herein but i cant take it anymore.

Hows about yall do your joh and stop jerking around on thr clock to the detriment of the mission.

I had some guys put rocks in the hubcaps of my POV once and i wasted 2 hrs on my RDO a the mechanic trying to figure out what was wrong. They also flipped around my rear license plate and screwed it back on. That one is a crime and nearly cost me a ticket.

The gunpowder in the ashtray could seriously get someone hurt / be viewed as assault on a peace officer. Most of the stuff yall are doing to cars is damage to govenmental property / criminal mischief.

All of it is a waste of time and if made public would damage the communities faith and confidence in its police.

Now grant you, im not a total hardass. After we OD'ed sometimes we would barricade guys in the shitter with printer paper boxes or adjust a guys mirrors put of alignment on his POV or something but as a habit, i never fucked around on duty and didnt do anything that i didnt want to have to explain to my assistant chief or the media.

Can of cat food, slightly cracked open, left under driver's seat.

Another was a "drive-by" with a rotten bannana that I aged just for this purpose: allow to heat on you hood or dashboard, then throw very hard at interior. Done properly, the bandanna explodes everywhere inside the vehicle. Will need to be professionally cleaned.

Relax brother- life is short, unpleasant, and uncertain. If nobody gets hurt and the mission isn't compromised, then it's just brotherly love.

Go to local dirty book store; remove all "1st issue free cards" & fill in victim's info with work address.

Lighten up there boot. You probably still think you are going to change the world too...give it time and you will understand.

Sardines in the air vents.

A camel back emptied through the cracked window into the driver's seat right before they leave work.

Oldie, vaseline under the door handles.

Get some Obama stickers.

I was a cop in southwest houston for 4 years. swat certified, mean streets of cracktown, tried to make a difference and didnt, stood up for what i believed in, fought the brass and lost, all that BS.

Im not a veteran officer, but I dont consider myself a boot...

That being said, what yall are discussing violates the COC rule against suggesting criminal activity.

Some of these suggestions will permanently damage a vehicle, one paid for by the government. The firecracker in a cigar could blow off somebodies fingers or permanently blind them. The gunpowder in the ashtray could burn the fuck out of somebody.

I dont want some cop going on duty at 1400hrs, catching an in progress call asap, and then showing up on my scene half blind and black with fingerprint dust or stripper glitter or confetti or any other such BS. The OC in the air vents was previously discussed on here too and found to be illegal and unprofessional.

The hardest part of being a cop is policing yourself. All of this shit reeks of a lack of maturity and self discipline. If you want to fuck around do it on your personal time or get a job as a clown.

The public at large isnt going to trust or support officers who as seen pulling crap like this. Nobody wants to take a traffic lecture from a cop with a license plate that says 1gaycop or isukdiks. I dont want a cop taking my report while covered in glitter or stinking like ass or tearing up from OC exposure. I would hate to explain to some guys family how i blinded him by fucking around with fireworks on the clock.

Keep in mind, cops have been killed by bullshit accidents like this that went too far. Killed by flashbangs in the shitter, shot accidentally in training, ect. You are professionals and should hold yourself to a higher standard than this.

This is a public forum visible to the public, posting this stuff isnt going to endear the GD to us any more than they already are.

Here's one I wanted to try before I left California:

Get a ream of bright yellow computer paper. Print your victim's face on it. On most of the paper, put the legend "Your Neighbor" in large bold letters at the top, followed by a pic of his/her face, followed by a paragraph explaining what a terrific guy he is. Leave these in prominent places up & down the block so he'll see them in the morning: tacked to trees, under windshield wipers, etc.

On 3 or 4 pages, change the paragraph to describe what an evil child molesting person he is. On these three, put them on his windshield, tree, etc. so he'll see them in the morning. He'll assume that all the yellow papers up & down the block say the same things as the papers on his car!

Be prepared with a video camera.

Now this is harmless and funny!

List their motorcycle, or other treasured item, in the local classified ads at a reasonable but almost to good to be true price. Use their cell phone # in the ad.

This was done by some dispatchers on a local motor officer who is known for his pranks. I believe a truce was called afterwards.

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