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Moms of Arfcom
4/11/2011 10:23:35 PM
It's definitely surprising me to see how many of you have kids probably close in age to mine and quite frankly, I need a support thread and could really use some BTDT advice from any of you gals. And I'm curious to see how old everyone's kids are 
4/11/2011 10:43:29 PM
How old are yours? What sort of advice are you looking for?
As for me: I have 2 sons ages 10 and 7. I am a stay at home mom. I homeschool them both.
As for me: I have 2 sons ages 10 and 7. I am a stay at home mom. I homeschool them both.
4/11/2011 10:46:04 PM
She's 20 months, I'm currently a SAHM too. Right now, bedtime and coping with it post pacifier. Next few months, probably potty training. She's our first and I'm clueless on how to approach most of this.
4/12/2011 7:03:21 AM
For all the Mom's out their 
Thanks for everything you do!
Sorry for the thread hijack OP.
Thanks for everything you do!
Sorry for the thread hijack OP.
4/12/2011 9:13:18 AM
I have a boy that will be three the end of June, and a girl that's almost 17 months old. A BTDT thread would be great, because most of the ladies here have kids that are older, and some days I just wish someone would just tell me my kids are normal. 
I took the paci away from my son about four months ago, and it went very smoothly. I talked it up for a week or so, saying that pacifiers are for babies, and that since he is such a big boy, he needed to give his to a baby that really needed it. One night before bed, I said it again and asked him to give it to me so I could pass it along to a baby for him, and he just handed it to me and said 'Okay, mommy', then laid down and went to sleep. He never brought it up again, and there were no tears or issues about it whatsoever. Honestly, I was shocked at how smoothly it went.
Now his thing is stalling at bedtime. He clings to me like glue, and cries bloody murder when I put him in his crib. Then he will cry for daddy (aka 'The Sucker'), and I have to make The Mr. leave so he doesn't go get him out and hold him. Sometimes he'll cry for 30 min or so, other times he'll just sit in his crib and play for quite some time before he falls asleep.
I took the paci away from my son about four months ago, and it went very smoothly. I talked it up for a week or so, saying that pacifiers are for babies, and that since he is such a big boy, he needed to give his to a baby that really needed it. One night before bed, I said it again and asked him to give it to me so I could pass it along to a baby for him, and he just handed it to me and said 'Okay, mommy', then laid down and went to sleep. He never brought it up again, and there were no tears or issues about it whatsoever. Honestly, I was shocked at how smoothly it went.
Now his thing is stalling at bedtime. He clings to me like glue, and cries bloody murder when I put him in his crib. Then he will cry for daddy (aka 'The Sucker'), and I have to make The Mr. leave so he doesn't go get him out and hold him. Sometimes he'll cry for 30 min or so, other times he'll just sit in his crib and play for quite some time before he falls asleep.
4/12/2011 9:31:27 AM
If you are looking for a BTDT, look no further.
When my oldest was a baby, he had a lot of respiratory issues. It was a constant challenge to get him to sleep. The younger one continued to wake up in the middle of the night until he was 3. Many, many nights I thought I was going to rip my own hair out or scream from frustration, but I learned to walk away for a minute, take a few deep breaths, and tell myself "this too shall pass". It did pass, and sometimes I miss it. It seems like only yesterday when I was watching all those firsts and snuggling with my babies. Now there are new challenges. I wouldn't trade a moment of it for the world, though.
When my oldest was a baby, he had a lot of respiratory issues. It was a constant challenge to get him to sleep. The younger one continued to wake up in the middle of the night until he was 3. Many, many nights I thought I was going to rip my own hair out or scream from frustration, but I learned to walk away for a minute, take a few deep breaths, and tell myself "this too shall pass". It did pass, and sometimes I miss it. It seems like only yesterday when I was watching all those firsts and snuggling with my babies. Now there are new challenges. I wouldn't trade a moment of it for the world, though.
4/12/2011 1:36:39 PM
I have 2 girls...18 and 22.
Enjoy all the things that drive you crazy while they're little. Time passes very quickly and the things that seem hard right now will appear to have been easy as they get older.
Enjoy all the things that drive you crazy while they're little. Time passes very quickly and the things that seem hard right now will appear to have been easy as they get older.
4/12/2011 2:24:47 PM
Originally Posted By danico:
I have 2 girls...18 and 22.
Enjoy all the things that drive you crazy while they're little. Time passes very quickly and the things that seem hard right now will appear to have been easy as they get older.
I have 2 girls...18 and 22.
Enjoy all the things that drive you crazy while they're little. Time passes very quickly and the things that seem hard right now will appear to have been easy as they get older.
Me too
I love what you have said. So true.
I have also been doing daycare for 15yrs. With the potty training I can only say, talk it up gently. It won't take if it is not his accomplishment. Let him decide when it is the right time for him. Relax. He will be using the potty when he is 25.
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
4/12/2011 5:53:01 PM
Originally Posted By McPip:
Me too I love what you have said. So true.
I have also been doing daycare for 15yrs. With the potty training I can only say, talk it up gently. It won't take if it is not his accomplishment. Let him decide when it is the right time for him. Relax. He will be using the potty when he is 25.
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
Originally Posted By danico:
I have 2 girls...18 and 22.
Enjoy all the things that drive you crazy while they're little. Time passes very quickly and the things that seem hard right now will appear to have been easy as they get older.
I have 2 girls...18 and 22.
Enjoy all the things that drive you crazy while they're little. Time passes very quickly and the things that seem hard right now will appear to have been easy as they get older.
Me too
I love what you have said. So true.
I have also been doing daycare for 15yrs. With the potty training I can only say, talk it up gently. It won't take if it is not his accomplishment. Let him decide when it is the right time for him. Relax. He will be using the potty when he is 25.
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
I'm ashamed to say that I don't really do much in the way of a wind down routine. By the end of the day, I'm so ready for them to go to bed that I have to force myself not to throw them in the bed and slam the door.
I need to read them more books before bed and give them more time to wind down. That's my fault completely. With The Mr., you're right, it's 'dad means fun'. He doesn't even get to see them on Tuesdays and Thursdays because he works late on those nights, so when he does get to see them, he makes sure that time is fun. I don't want to say he's lax in discipline, but he's a little lighter than me. Plus, he feels guilty that he's not able to be there as much as he'd like to be, so he's kind of a pushover sometimes. Drives me crazy at times!
Anyone have any advice about fear of taking a bath? Colt has just recently started to freak out when bath time rolls around. And when I say freak out, it's not a control issue, it's a complete emotional meltdown due to total fear of the bath. No water on his head, will stand there and scream like I'm pulling off his toes with pliers. I'm at a total loss. He used to love baths, but all of a sudden it's a complete 180. No water incident has happened, so I don't know what's going on.
4/12/2011 6:06:22 PM
Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
I'm ashamed to say that I don't really do much in the way of a wind down routine. By the end of the day, I'm so ready for them to go to bed that I have to force myself not to throw them in the bed and slam the door. I need to read them more books before bed and give them more time to wind down. That's my fault completely. With The Mr., you're right, it's 'dad means fun'. He doesn't even get to see them on Tuesdays and Thursdays because he works late on those nights, so when he does get to see them, he makes sure that time is fun. I don't want to say he's lax in discipline, but he's a little lighter than me. Plus, he feels guilty that he's not able to be there as much as he'd like to be, so he's kind of a pushover sometimes. Drives me crazy at times!
Anyone have any advice about fear of taking a bath? Colt has just recently started to freak out when bath time rolls around. And when I say freak out, it's not a control issue, it's a complete emotional meltdown due to total fear of the bath. No water on his head, will stand there and scream like I'm pulling off his toes with pliers. I'm at a total loss. He used to love baths, but all of a sudden it's a complete 180. No water incident has happened, so I don't know what's going on.
Originally Posted By McPip:
Me too I love what you have said. So true.
I have also been doing daycare for 15yrs. With the potty training I can only say, talk it up gently. It won't take if it is not his accomplishment. Let him decide when it is the right time for him. Relax. He will be using the potty when he is 25.
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
Originally Posted By danico:
I have 2 girls...18 and 22.
Enjoy all the things that drive you crazy while they're little. Time passes very quickly and the things that seem hard right now will appear to have been easy as they get older.
I have 2 girls...18 and 22.
Enjoy all the things that drive you crazy while they're little. Time passes very quickly and the things that seem hard right now will appear to have been easy as they get older.
Me too
I love what you have said. So true.
I have also been doing daycare for 15yrs. With the potty training I can only say, talk it up gently. It won't take if it is not his accomplishment. Let him decide when it is the right time for him. Relax. He will be using the potty when he is 25.
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
I'm ashamed to say that I don't really do much in the way of a wind down routine. By the end of the day, I'm so ready for them to go to bed that I have to force myself not to throw them in the bed and slam the door.
I need to read them more books before bed and give them more time to wind down. That's my fault completely. With The Mr., you're right, it's 'dad means fun'. He doesn't even get to see them on Tuesdays and Thursdays because he works late on those nights, so when he does get to see them, he makes sure that time is fun. I don't want to say he's lax in discipline, but he's a little lighter than me. Plus, he feels guilty that he's not able to be there as much as he'd like to be, so he's kind of a pushover sometimes. Drives me crazy at times!
Anyone have any advice about fear of taking a bath? Colt has just recently started to freak out when bath time rolls around. And when I say freak out, it's not a control issue, it's a complete emotional meltdown due to total fear of the bath. No water on his head, will stand there and scream like I'm pulling off his toes with pliers. I'm at a total loss. He used to love baths, but all of a sudden it's a complete 180. No water incident has happened, so I don't know what's going on.
This may seem wierd but I had a child once who was afraid to get sucked down the drain.
4/12/2011 6:10:06 PM
I have a 13 year old son With Aspergers. Although I haven't had to take a pacifier away from him in some time....
I will do my best to chime in on my exerience when I can....
I will do my best to chime in on my exerience when I can....
4/13/2011 8:49:31 AM
Originally Posted By Ldyrogue:
I have a 13 year old son With Aspergers. Although I haven't had to take a pacifier away from him in some time....
I will do my best to chime in on my exerience when I can....
I have a 13 year old son With Aspergers. Although I haven't had to take a pacifier away from him in some time....
I will do my best to chime in on my exerience when I can....
I'm ashamed to say that I didn't know anything about Asperger's until this season of The Amazing Race. There's a nice fellow on there that has it, and he talks about it. He seems completely fully functional, and if he hadn't said anything, I'd have never known about it at all.
Originally Posted By McPip:
This may seem wierd but I had a child once who was afraid to get sucked down the drain.
This may seem wierd but I had a child once who was afraid to get sucked down the drain.
It's not weird at all, it's actually very common. They haven't developed the mental capability to understand that they're too big to go down the drain. At least, that's what I've read while trying to research this.
4/14/2011 4:19:36 AM
My daughter is four, for a while she was afraid of the tub. Especially having her hair washed. What helped (but didn't completely fix) was giving her a washcloth to keep over her eyes, being sure when we rinsed her hair that we leaned her head back letting the water run down her back not her face.
What worked the best and eventually cured her bath fears altogether was taking her swimming. Once she learned to put her face in the water, to blow bubbles she was fine. I sometimes wonder if her fear of water in her face was the fear of not being able to breath. Once she learned water in her face did not equal drowning she was fine.
What worked the best and eventually cured her bath fears altogether was taking her swimming. Once she learned to put her face in the water, to blow bubbles she was fine. I sometimes wonder if her fear of water in her face was the fear of not being able to breath. Once she learned water in her face did not equal drowning she was fine.
4/14/2011 9:08:49 AM
Originally Posted By Mom2Sarah:
My daughter is four, for a while she was afraid of the tub. Especially having her hair washed. What helped (but didn't completely fix) was giving her a washcloth to keep over her eyes, being sure when we rinsed her hair that we leaned her head back letting the water run down her back not her face.
What worked the best and eventually cured her bath fears altogether was taking her swimming. Once she learned to put her face in the water, to blow bubbles she was fine. I sometimes wonder if her fear of water in her face was the fear of not being able to breath. Once she learned water in her face did not equal drowning she was fine.
My daughter is four, for a while she was afraid of the tub. Especially having her hair washed. What helped (but didn't completely fix) was giving her a washcloth to keep over her eyes, being sure when we rinsed her hair that we leaned her head back letting the water run down her back not her face.
What worked the best and eventually cured her bath fears altogether was taking her swimming. Once she learned to put her face in the water, to blow bubbles she was fine. I sometimes wonder if her fear of water in her face was the fear of not being able to breath. Once she learned water in her face did not equal drowning she was fine.
Yeah, I'm hoping that when I take him swimming this year his fears will subside.
4/14/2011 9:39:59 AM
Originally Posted By McPip:
[quote]Originally Posted By danico:
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
[quote]Originally Posted By danico:
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
Hey! I resent that!
We had bedtime issues with ours (now 15 and 11). We followed Penelope something's advise: Go into the room and assure them that you are still there, but not to play or hug - it's sleeping time. Stay no longer than 15 seconds. Increase the span between visits by one minute each time: let her cry a minute, go in for 10 seconds, let her cry for 2 minutes, go in for 10 seconds, etc. We used a stopwatch because our time sense didn't work in that situation.
It was hell for about 3 days until she got the idea that we hadn't abandoned her, and she was safe, but we weren't going to play.
And I was the one who told my wife to stick with the program.
4/14/2011 9:50:38 AM
Originally Posted By R2point0:
Hey! I resent that!
We had bedtime issues with ours (now 15 and 11). We followed Penelope something's advise: Go into the room and assure them that you are still there, but not to play or hug - it's sleeping time. Stay no longer than 15 seconds. Increase the span between visits by one minute each time: let her cry a minute, go in for 10 seconds, let her cry for 2 minutes, go in for 10 seconds, etc. We used a stopwatch because our time sense didn't work in that situation.
It was hell for about 3 days until she got the idea that we hadn't abandoned her, and she was safe, but we weren't going to play.
And I was the one who told my wife to stick with the program.
Originally Posted By McPip:
[quote]Originally Posted By danico:
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
[quote]Originally Posted By danico:
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
Hey! I resent that!
We had bedtime issues with ours (now 15 and 11). We followed Penelope something's advise: Go into the room and assure them that you are still there, but not to play or hug - it's sleeping time. Stay no longer than 15 seconds. Increase the span between visits by one minute each time: let her cry a minute, go in for 10 seconds, let her cry for 2 minutes, go in for 10 seconds, etc. We used a stopwatch because our time sense didn't work in that situation.
It was hell for about 3 days until she got the idea that we hadn't abandoned her, and she was safe, but we weren't going to play.
And I was the one who told my wife to stick with the program.
Oh yeah, we did that, too. I don't even bother with sticking around now. I just tell him it's bedtime, give him kisses, and leave. If he cries for an hour, he cries for an hour. It's a control thing with him now, coupled with stall tactics. I'm mean, so I don't fall for it. The Mr., on the other hand, falls for it every time.
Yeah, it's good cop/bad cop in our house.
4/14/2011 9:58:17 AM
Originally Posted By Ldyrogue:
I have a 13 year old son With Aspergers. Although I haven't had to take a pacifier away from him in some time....
I will do my best to chime in on my exerience when I can....
I have a 13 year old son With Aspergers. Although I haven't had to take a pacifier away from him in some time....
I will do my best to chime in on my exerience when I can....
I tried a child with Aspergers once in my daycare and it was too much with the other kids. My hat off to you and may God give you all the grace needed for such a wonderfull and special gift.
4/14/2011 10:02:09 AM
I still think that is best. He will get the message and the tantrum with time will become less and less. The parents are the boss. He is just testing that which is normal for that age. This is a good battle to pick. Not easy. Good luck.
Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
Oh yeah, we did that, too. I don't even bother with sticking around now. I just tell him it's bedtime, give him kisses, and leave. If he cries for an hour, he cries for an hour. It's a control thing with him now, coupled with stall tactics. I'm mean, so I don't fall for it. The Mr., on the other hand, falls for it every time.
Yeah, it's good cop/bad cop in our house.
Originally Posted By R2point0:
Hey! I resent that!
We had bedtime issues with ours (now 15 and 11). We followed Penelope something's advise: Go into the room and assure them that you are still there, but not to play or hug - it's sleeping time. Stay no longer than 15 seconds. Increase the span between visits by one minute each time: let her cry a minute, go in for 10 seconds, let her cry for 2 minutes, go in for 10 seconds, etc. We used a stopwatch because our time sense didn't work in that situation.
It was hell for about 3 days until she got the idea that we hadn't abandoned her, and she was safe, but we weren't going to play.
And I was the one who told my wife to stick with the program.
Originally Posted By McPip:
[quote]Originally Posted By danico:
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
[quote]Originally Posted By danico:
SP1Grrl good job with the bed time thing. Bed time is bed time. I often think "mom means business, dad's mean fun". That is how it was in my house. I don't know what time his bed time is or what his routine is. If you aren't already doing this, you might try a wind-down befor bed. Read him a story or something that requires him not to think too much and keeps him still. Or maybe an earlier bed time.
Hey! I resent that!
We had bedtime issues with ours (now 15 and 11). We followed Penelope something's advise: Go into the room and assure them that you are still there, but not to play or hug - it's sleeping time. Stay no longer than 15 seconds. Increase the span between visits by one minute each time: let her cry a minute, go in for 10 seconds, let her cry for 2 minutes, go in for 10 seconds, etc. We used a stopwatch because our time sense didn't work in that situation.
It was hell for about 3 days until she got the idea that we hadn't abandoned her, and she was safe, but we weren't going to play.
And I was the one who told my wife to stick with the program.
Oh yeah, we did that, too. I don't even bother with sticking around now. I just tell him it's bedtime, give him kisses, and leave. If he cries for an hour, he cries for an hour. It's a control thing with him now, coupled with stall tactics. I'm mean, so I don't fall for it. The Mr., on the other hand, falls for it every time.
Yeah, it's good cop/bad cop in our house.
