AR15.Com Archives
 Can cats be mentally retarded?
stevejg1  [Member]
5/7/2012 10:27:24 PM
If so, mine is.

He will stare at nothing for hours.

He runs to a corner when you pet him, and stares directly into the corner.

Any loud noise and he runs for his life, trying to gain traction the whole time on hardwood floors. He has never been harmed, ever and lives indoors.

If you pick him up he has a major freak out and twists and turns to the point you think he will break his back. So we don't pick him up.

redoubt  [Member]
5/7/2012 10:29:12 PM
Maybe he's autistic.
Waveform  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:30:14 PM
Your cat is messed up. I'd take him down to the local Chinese restaurant and have him cooked up. That way he can be useful for something for once in his life.

Then pick up a new cat.
NwG  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:32:03 PM
Yes
it likes socks
stevejg1  [Member]
5/7/2012 10:34:00 PM
Originally Posted By Waveform:
Your cat is messed up. I'd take him down to the local Chinese restaurant and have him cooked up. That way he can be useful for something for once in his life.

Then pick up a new cat.


How much do they depreciate? Lightly used, but a few years old...
cmjohnson  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:35:25 PM
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.
Justin-Kase  [Life Member]
5/7/2012 10:37:01 PM
See if you can teach him to play black jack.
Aloxite  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:37:16 PM
I think cats are great. But I think the OP's cat is broken. Sorry about your luck. Pick a better cat next time.
LePew  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:37:47 PM
Originally Posted By stevejg1:
Originally Posted By Waveform:
Your cat is messed up. I'd take him down to the local Chinese restaurant and have him cooked up. That way he can be useful for something for once in his life.

Then pick up a new cat.


How much do they depreciate? Lightly used, but a few years old...


Usually, it's something like 100% the day you get them and a few percent a year after that.


I think his problem is that he needs a bath. If he's never had one, that would explain his issues.

stevejg1  [Member]
5/7/2012 10:38:09 PM
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.


I mean he's a good dude, but he's not a pet, just a weird animal who is always hungry and doesn't like to interact with us.
bloodsport2885  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:38:42 PM
Originally Posted By stevejg1:
Originally Posted By Waveform:
Your cat is messed up. I'd take him down to the local Chinese restaurant and have him cooked up. That way he can be useful for something for once in his life.

Then pick up a new cat.


How much do they depreciate? Lightly used, but a few years old...


They're sold by the pound, not mileage.
morningwood1429  [Member]
5/7/2012 10:38:42 PM
Cats are pretty useless but one that won't even let you touch it? So you pay for its food and scoop it's litter box for nothing?

That sucks man, my two cats come running at the sound of their names and beg to be petted and picked up. I can drap them over my shoulders and they will stay there as long as I let them.

I guess I just lucked out
VoodooChile  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:39:50 PM
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.


I saw a video of a white tiger recently ...that poor inbred thing was retarded as hell
substandard  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:42:13 PM

Originally Posted By VoodooChile:
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.


I saw a video of a white tiger recently ...that poor inbred thing was retarded as hell

I know a bartender that has a son working for a zoo. He works with the big cats, and he said the exact same thing. The white tigers are so inbred that they have cross eyes, and on the slow side.
Gravity_Tester  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:43:07 PM
That's the default state.
JBlitzen  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:45:46 PM
Originally Posted By stevejg1:
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.

I mean he's a good dude, but he's not a pet, just a weird animal who is always hungry and doesn't like to interact with us.

Serious suggestion: lock him alone in a closed, dark, room with food, water, and litter for a few days. He might be more social after that.
substandard  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:46:45 PM

Originally Posted By stevejg1:
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.


I mean he's a good dude, but he's not a pet, just a weird animal who is always hungry and doesn't like to interact with us.

So you basically have a very small teenager.....
redoubt  [Member]
5/7/2012 10:47:35 PM
Originally Posted By JBlitzen:
Originally Posted By stevejg1:
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.

I mean he's a good dude, but he's not a pet, just a weird animal who is always hungry and doesn't like to interact with us.

Serious suggestion: lock him alone in a closed, dark, room with food, water, and litter for a few days. He might be more social after that.


While I don't condone the above suggestion, I have noticed that our cats are much more loving when we return from vacation. (We have someone care for them while we're gone.)
NUcadet07  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:48:08 PM
Originally Posted By JBlitzen:
Originally Posted By stevejg1:
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.

I mean he's a good dude, but he's not a pet, just a weird animal who is always hungry and doesn't like to interact with us.

Serious suggestion: lock him alone in a closed, dark, room with food, water, and litter for a few days. He might be more social after that.


Really? Why is that?
VelveteenMole  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:48:25 PM
The upside is he won't be able to report you if you stick a finger in his butt.
optimus  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:49:45 PM
Did you own him since he was a kitten? My grandma had a cat that was abused and given crack as a kitten... that thing was essencially bi-polar.
Waveform  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:49:47 PM

Originally Posted By JBlitzen:
Originally Posted By stevejg1:
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.

I mean he's a good dude, but he's not a pet, just a weird animal who is always hungry and doesn't like to interact with us.

Serious suggestion: lock him alone in a closed, dark, room with food, water, and litter for a few days. He might be more social after that.

I had a cat that was perpetually ill humored. I stopped feeding him for days. Then, I only fed him one grain of food at a time from my lap, while petting him. I think he learned to associate feeding with being petted. On that strategy, he slimmed down and became much better humored. He was still an emotional wreck, but at least now he could be petted and cuddled.
SETXshooter  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:50:29 PM
Sounds like most teenagers, maybe he is in puberty? Probably just retarded though.

Wes
JsARCLIGHT  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 10:52:16 PM
I can believe that there indeed are "retarded" cats in a medical sense... I mean, there are retarded people so I would think there are retarded cats. But when it comes to cats if there is anything very seriously wrong with them they tend to die pretty early on... either that or momma cat kills them.

Then again every cat has a touch of the crazy. Even the most "normal" cat will have some quirk or habit that is not quite "right".

Our current cat, who is my avatar, is smart as person. He can open doors and drawers, he plays fetch like a dog and he figures stuff out if you let him. He will tap you to get your attention, he is generally aware if something is amiss and he patrols until he finds it. He even likes to sleep under blankets like a little person. But he will still flip out and run around the house howling at walls ike a madman when the urge strikes him. He will even jump headlong into a box, tumble over from losing his balance then look at you like it was some kind of sorcery. My friends have taken to calling him Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer because he can be so smart one second then so dumb the next.
VelveteenMole  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:01:54 PM

Originally Posted By JsARCLIGHT:
I can believe that there indeed are "retarded" cats in a medical sense... I mean, there are retarded people so I would think there are retarded cats. But when it comes to cats if there is anything very seriously wrong with them they tend to die pretty early on... either that or momma cat kills them.

Then again every cat has a touch of the crazy. Even the most "normal" cat will have some quirk or habit that is not quite "right".

Our current cat, who is my avatar, is smart as person. He can open doors and drawers, he plays fetch like a dog and he figures stuff out if you let him. He will tap you to get your attention, he is generally aware if something is amiss and he patrols until he finds it. He even likes to sleep under blankets like a little person. But he will still flip out and run around the house howling at walls ike a madman when the urge strikes him. He will even jump headlong into a box, tumble over from losing his balance then look at you like it was some kind of sorcery. My friends have taken to calling him Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer because he can be so smart one second then so dumb the next.
Unbelievable face. Russian Blue? Been a while since I've paid attention to cat breeds.

MotorMouth  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:05:13 PM
Originally Posted By stevejg1:
Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
A more practical question is, is there such a thing as a cat that ISN'T retarded?

I think not.


I mean he's a good dude, but he's not a pet, just a weird animal who is always hungry and doesn't like to interact with us.


Uh, yeah. You got a cat.
BatchelorGroda  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:09:41 PM
Animals are rarely actually "retarded".

Nature does a good job of making sure that if they are not 100%, they die easily.
JBlitzen  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:13:53 PM
Originally Posted By NUcadet07:
Really? Why is that?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The hand-feeding method also sounds valid.

Basically, if your cat has its basic needs met while being an asshole, then it has no reason not to continue being an asshole. You have to change things up.
1811guy  [Member]
5/7/2012 11:16:47 PM
I thought all cats were retarded. There are a fair number of dogs that are retarded as well. Take our beagle Jordy for instance (no longer own her). She loved raccoon poop and was an even bigger fan of the nerds ropes in the cat box. Ate a whole bag of stolen dove chocolate once while in her kennel - she crapped blue foil wrappers for 2 days.

WinstonSmith  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:18:27 PM
Some cats are all conked up in the noggin. Other cats that people think are retarded are just sly as fucking foxes.
Tboy  [Member]
5/7/2012 11:21:11 PM
After having many batches of kittens, I had a kitten that was retarded. Sweet little cat, sat in your lap, poop always stuck to its hair. Old lady got it and loved the thing to death. I've never seen a retarded animal since.
1811guy  [Member]
5/7/2012 11:25:29 PM
Originally Posted By Tboy:
After having many batches of kittens, I had a kitten that was retarded. Sweet little cat, sat in your lap, poop always stuck to its hair. Old lady got it and loved the thing to death. I've never seen a retarded animal since.


Was it weird birthing them, being a human and all?
ChadG  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:28:24 PM
Yes a cat can be mentally & physically retarded. I had a kitty that when she was baby kitten was left outside by the mother the liter was up under a seat from a tracter (grandfather had a junk yard) and the seat was picked up with a fork truck and dragged across the yard crushing the kittens skull and breaking her front leg, she had one lung that was collapsed and that side of the rib cage was partially crushed. That made her retarded, she didn't know jump for about 10 years, and she scratched on doors to be let outside, she also one chewed, smelled/sniffed on one side of her head.

She was partially blind-in that only 1 eye ever worked, she never learned to meow either not until the last 5 years of her life. Miracle cat is what she was, the Vet gave her less than a week to live when my grandma took her in the first time that is when all the X rays and scans were done, my grandma was a cat rescue lady and she spent her savings saving stray cats, this particular cat lived 19 years and it was a good life. She liked to drag underwear, bras, socks, towels, paper products and lizards around, she was also a very hunter given the limitations, I think she ate right around 2-3 birds a week and as many lizards as could be caught.

I refused to have her shots kept up to date knowing that they would likely kill her and a majority of the Vets wanted to do tests to see why she was alive and how she could survive having only half of the organs working, because technically she should have been dead 19 years earlier.

DanTSX  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:29:43 PM
wow

we had this thread before

almost verbatim

OP is trying to be funny and original by burning someone else's jokes

is that you carlos mencia?

in two months, start a thread stating that AK's belong in the trash.


Anyways, have you ever noticed that the Dali Lama sounds just like Yoda?
BillofRights  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:29:59 PM
No, cats are unlike all other living creatures in that they cannot be retarded, crazy or different. They are magic. Like Unicorns and Angels.
mdaugherty1988  [Member]
5/7/2012 11:39:50 PM
My cat is inbred and mentally retarded. It also has six toes. There's a name for this type of cat, I can't remember it off the top of my head. Worthless animal, shits all over the house and I can't get rid of it because the women of the house will have a fit.

Feet (there's a sixth toe in between its "thumb" and "fingers")




Cat

patchz  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:40:35 PM
Had one once that liked to prance sideways, but frequently ran into things. She'd bounce off shake her head and get up and run into it again.
stevejg1  [Member]
5/7/2012 11:42:37 PM
Originally Posted By DanTSX:
wow

we had this thread before

almost verbatim

OP is trying to be funny and original by burning someone else's jokes

is that you carlos mencia?

in two months, start a thread stating that AK's belong in the trash.


Anyways, have you ever noticed that the Dali Lama sounds just like Yoda?


Not in the least bit. I was unaware.
WinstonSmith  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:43:07 PM
extra toes are polydactyl.
optimus  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:45:51 PM
Originally Posted By mdaugherty1988:
My cat is inbred and mentally retarded. It also has six toes. There's a name for this type of cat, I can't remember it off the top of my head. Worthless animal, shits all over the house and I can't get rid of it because the women of the house will have a fit.

Feet (there's a sixth toe in between its "thumb" and "fingers")

http://i1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb371/mdaugherty1988/Cassie%20the%20Cat/cassiethecat008.jpg



Cat

http://i1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb371/mdaugherty1988/Cassie%20the%20Cat/006.jpg


Polydactyl
Aloxite  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:46:19 PM

Originally Posted By mdaugherty1988:
My cat is inbred and mentally retarded. It also has six toes. There's a name for this type of cat, I can't remember it off the top of my head. Worthless animal, shits all over the house and I can't get rid of it because the women of the house will have a fit.

Feet (there's a sixth toe in between its "thumb" and "fingers")

http://i1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb371/mdaugherty1988/Cassie%20the%20Cat/cassiethecat008.jpg



Cat

http://i1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb371/mdaugherty1988/Cassie%20the%20Cat/006.jpg

Six toed cats are polydactyl.

ETA - And I am retarded for not refreshing before I post.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polydactyl_cat
JsARCLIGHT  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:50:13 PM
Originally Posted By VelveteenMole:

Originally Posted By JsARCLIGHT:
I can believe that there indeed are "retarded" cats in a medical sense... I mean, there are retarded people so I would think there are retarded cats. But when it comes to cats if there is anything very seriously wrong with them they tend to die pretty early on... either that or momma cat kills them.

Then again every cat has a touch of the crazy. Even the most "normal" cat will have some quirk or habit that is not quite "right".

Our current cat, who is my avatar, is smart as person. He can open doors and drawers, he plays fetch like a dog and he figures stuff out if you let him. He will tap you to get your attention, he is generally aware if something is amiss and he patrols until he finds it. He even likes to sleep under blankets like a little person. But he will still flip out and run around the house howling at walls ike a madman when the urge strikes him. He will even jump headlong into a box, tumble over from losing his balance then look at you like it was some kind of sorcery. My friends have taken to calling him Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer because he can be so smart one second then so dumb the next.
Unbelievable face. Russian Blue? Been a while since I've paid attention to cat breeds.



British Shorthair blue. Very close to the Russian Blues but the Russians are more slender with elongated features while the Brits are bigger, "Cobby" (as the English call it) bodied with short faces. Both Brits and Russians are known for their intelligence but they are also known for their antics.
hourglassing  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:51:24 PM
Originally Posted By DanTSX:
wow

we had this thread before

almost verbatim

OP is trying to be funny and original by burning someone else's jokes

is that you carlos mencia?

in two months, start a thread stating that AK's belong in the trash.


Anyways, have you ever noticed that the Dali Lama sounds just like Yoda?


christ you track this stuff? Really?
Magurgle  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:54:24 PM
My friend's cousin, I knew her too but not well, had a retarded cat, the only way you could tell is it had whiskers that were extra long and it slept in the litter box.

From what I understand a cats whiskers should roughly be the width of it's body, not counting fat lazy cats
DanTSX  [Team Member]
5/7/2012 11:55:35 PM
Originally Posted By hourglassing:
Originally Posted By DanTSX:
wow

we had this thread before

almost verbatim

OP is trying to be funny and original by burning someone else's jokes

is that you carlos mencia?

in two months, start a thread stating that AK's belong in the trash.


Anyways, have you ever noticed that the Dali Lama sounds just like Yoda?


christ you track this stuff? Really?


I have memory like Deej.

I just don't use it for anything good.
Bigshot64  [Team Member]
5/8/2012 12:56:55 AM
Evil eyes. He has them
4v50  [Team Member]
5/8/2012 1:01:20 AM
I had a cat with psychological issues. She had been abused as smitten and it took her two months before she warmed up and behaved like a normal cat. First time I picked up a broom in the yard she ran and hid. That told me she had been beatened. . I swept the floor and after a while she came out from hiding.